by Gold, Kristi
He was fully dressed but still unshaven, a duffel bag thrown over one shoulder.
“Where are you going?” she asked as he started down the stairs.
“Home,” he said without making any form of eye contact with her.
Savannah tried to match Sam’s steps but since his stride was too long, she called his name before he managed to escape out the door. “Wait, Sam.”
He turned and stared at her, something akin to anger calling out from his cobalt eyes. “Party’s over. I’ve got to go work and so do you.”
Party? Nice to know how he viewed the past few days. Just one big party. “That’s it? You’re not even going to tell me goodbye?” She wanted more than that. She wanted a kiss goodbye. She wanted him to say that what they’d shared had meant more to him than just a good time. It had certainly meant more to her.
“Bye,” he said curtly, then left out the door.
Savannah hugged her robe close as she sprinted down the remaining stairs and followed him onto the porch. “I deserve better than this, Sam.”
He faced her again, truck keys in hand. “You’re right. You deserve better. You made that real clear twelve years ago.”
Nothing like being slapped by a past that obviously wasn’t going to go away, at least in Sam’s mind. “I thought we’d moved beyond that. I thought this time we’d have a civil parting.”
“Okay. Civil it is. Have a nice life in Chicago.”
She hated his scorn, hated that she had to explain her motives. “You knew I was eventually going to leave.”
“On Friday,” he said. “I was ready to let you go tomorrow.”
She couldn’t imagine what difference a day would make. “I wish I could stay until tomorrow, but you heard the conversation. I don’t have a choice.”
“We all have choices, Savannah. Sometimes we don’t always make the right ones.”
“Meaning?”
He leaned a shoulder against the porch’s support post. “I should have let you go for good and left it at that. Then I wouldn’t be standing here, believing like a fool that things could be different this time. That you might even decide to stay.”
“You never asked me to stay, Sam. Then or now.” And though she’d never admitted it to herself, that had crushed her beyond belief.
He inclined his head and studied her a long moment. “If I had asked you to stay back then, would you have done it?”
She lowered her eyes in an effort to escape his scrutiny. “Probably not.”
“And now?”
When she didn’t immediately answer, he said, “That’s what I thought. The answer will always be the same. You don’t belong here, and I do. You’re going to leave and I’m going to stay. That hasn’t changed, and it never will.”
So many things she wanted to say crowded her mind, including an urge to tell him she still loved him, maybe even more now than before. But to what end? He had been right. They lived two separate lives and no common ground existed between them.
Yet before he slid into the truck and drove out of her life once and for all, she had one final question she needed to ask. “If I had stayed, and by some miracle we’d had a future together, do you honestly believe we would have made it like Rachel and Matt?”
Sam turned his gaze to her again and this time, Savannah witnessed the anger dissolve, replaced by a sadness she’d never before seen in his eyes. “I guess we’ll never know.”
As Savannah sat on the porch step and watched him drive away, she experienced an intense sense of loss. Loss of her dad, of the house behind her, of a man whom she would never, ever forget. And she had nothing left to do but cry.
SAM SPENT A GOOD FIFTEEN minutes hammering nails into a paddock fence that didn’t need repairing. But he couldn’t think of a better way to vent his frustration unless he put his fist through the barn wall.
“You got something against that piece of wood, son?”
Sam tossed the hammer into the toolbox, stood and brushed his palms together as he faced his dad. “What time is it?”
Jim took a toothpick out of his mouth and pointed it at Sam. “It’s time for you to tell me what’s got you so peeved that you decided to beat a fence to a pulp.”
He settled for a partial truth. “I’ve got to herd about twenty head of cattle into the catch pens in hundred-degree heat so Matt can give them their shots.”
“Is Savannah stopping by later?”
“She’s gone.” The words burned going down like he’d swallowed a shot of lye.
“Not yet,” Jim said. “I just stopped by and she was sitting on the porch, having some coffee.”
“Take my word for it, she’s leaving. Her damn job isn’t going to wait another day.” He couldn’t mask the anger in his tone, something that wouldn’t be lost on his dad.
Jim cocked his head and put on the lecture look. “Did you say all you needed to say to her?”
“I told her goodbye.” The hardest goodbye he’d ever had to deliver.
“Did you mention that once she’s gone, you’re going to mope around the house like a whipped pup for years?”
“Let it go, Dad.”
Jim sent him a champion scowl. “Your stupid pride’s going to land you nothing but alone.”
He’d been alone before and survived. “There are worse things.”
“Yeah, like letting the love of your life get away again.” Jim narrowed his eyes and rubbed his chin. “Unless you don’t love her.”
When Sam declined to reply, his dad added, “Do you love her, boy?”
He did, and that was the problem. It had always been a problem. “Okay, yeah, I love her. Are you happy now?”
“Then get the corncob out of your keister, Sam, and tell her. And while you’re at it, ask her to stay.”
He’d thought about confessing his feelings for the past three days and again this morning. In the end, he didn’t figure it would make any difference. “She’s not going to stick around no matter what I tell her.”
“It’s worth a try. She might even surprise you.”
That would be the shock of the century. “Let’s just say I did ask her to stay and she agrees. What if she decides being with me isn’t what she wants? Then I’d be no better off than I am now.”
Jim patted Sam on the back. “I understand, son, because I’ve been in your boots before. Why do you think it took me so long to make Gracie my wife? I had to be sure she wasn’t going to leave me high and dry like your mother did.”
For the very first time, his dad had admitted that he’d been affected by his wife’s departure. “What changed your mind?”
“Gracie did. One day, after we’d had some worthless argument, she looked straight at me and said I could stop testing her because she wasn’t going anywhere.”
Sam had never doubted Gracie’s loyalty to them. Not once had he ever feared she’d leave like his mother. “It’s different. Gracie lived with us, not in some city hundreds of miles away. She had a reason to stay.”
“Then give Savannah a reason to stay. Don’t let her take off without at least tellin’ her how you feel, son. Let her know that she’ll always have a place to come home to. Otherwise, you’re going to spend the rest of your life wondering if being honest might’ve made a difference.”
“It’s a pretty damn big risk, Dad.”
“One that you need to take, just like all the chances you’ve taken with this farm. Even if you fail, you’ll be a better man for trying.”
His dad had made some convincing points. “I’ll think about it.”
Jim’s frown returned. “Don’t think, boy. Just do it.” He took a couple of steps away from Sam before turning back around. “One more thing. Savannah told me she didn’t plan to leave until after sunset so she could beat the heat and avoid traffic. That means you still have a few hours to figure out how you’re going to handle this.”
When his dad walked away, Sam made the decision to take Jim’s advice. He just hoped he had enough time to do what he need
ed to do. He had something old to find and something new to buy. After that, he’d seek out Savannah—and he knew exactly where he would find her.
THE SKIES HAD FADED FROM blue to orange, indicating the time to leave had come. Yet Savannah felt compelled to witness one last sunset, to reflect on good times and to say farewell to a pivotal part of her life that she would always remember fondly. The bridge seemed the perfect place to do that.
As she stepped onto the aged wooden slats, Savannah experienced an overwhelming sense of regret. If the truth were known, she didn’t really want to go, but she knew she couldn’t stay. She had no real reason to stay. She no longer had any kin to visit, no home, no one who cared whether she returned aside from a few old friends who had their own lives to lead. That included Sam.
Earlier that day, she’d spent a couple of hours at Stan’s, practically jumping out of her skin every time the door had opened in hopes he would walk in and beg her to stay. A ridiculous white-knight fantasy that could only be achieved in fairy tales. Her relationship with Sam had never been a fairy tale. Far from it. And now she needed to put the past to rest, once and for all.
As she geared up to go, a noise caught Savannah’s attention. She glanced to her left to see a tan oversized envelope, partially secured by a piece of tape to the railing, flapping in the breeze. Curious, she moved close to find her name scribbled across the front. She could think of only one person who would leave her a note—or a letter, as the case appeared to be.
She detached the envelope, released the metal clasps and pulled out a document. More accurately, a deed transfer—for her mother’s house.
Savannah scanned the contents and discovered Sam’s name listed as the grantor and a blank space awaiting her signature as the grantee. None of this made sense. Sam didn’t own the house; Edwin Wainwright did.
In desperate need of further explanation, Savannah turned over the envelope and a note fluttered out, landing at her feet. She grabbed the piece of paper from the ground before it could fly into the gulley below the bridge.
She recognized the handwriting immediately, and the importance of the missive that read:
In case you ever need a place to call home…
Love, Sam
She was totally floored, both by the gesture and the way in which Sam signed the note. Utterly baffled over what it all meant.
When she heard the heavy sound of footsteps, Savannah turned to see Sam heading her way. And as he stood before her, she realized the cockiness he’d displayed that first day in the diner had disappeared. In fact, he looked humble and maybe a little hopeful.
Savannah held up the document and asked, “What is this all about?”
He hooked both thumbs in his pockets and shrugged. “Exactly what it says it is. All you have to do is sign the form in front of a notary and the place is all yours.”
The simple explanation didn’t quite suffice. “How did you manage to make a deal with Wainwright?”
“I owned a piece of property he wanted, so I traded him for it. It just so happened he hadn’t done anything with the paperwork on your folks’ farm, so that made it a lot easier.”
Nothing about this situation seemed easy. “I really appreciate this, Sam,” she said as she slipped the papers back into the envelope. “But what am I going to do with the house? I can’t very well move it to Chicago.”
“I was hoping you’d live there.”
Savannah’s heart executed a little leap in her chest over the prospect of keeping the farm, a place she could visit from time to time. Maybe she could hire a caretaker. Maybe she could ask Sam to oversee the house. Odd, she’d been so opposed to that in the beginning, before she’d faced leaving for good.
Savannah was on the verge of speaking, only to have Sam add, “Before you nix that idea, I have a few things I need to say to you. Things I should’ve said a long time ago.”
This she had to hear. She was dying to hear it. “I’m listening.”
He drew in a deep breath and released it slowly. “After you left the first time, I tried to convince myself that what I felt for you wasn’t real. I was just a kid caught up in all the excitement of first-time sex and—”
“Wait a minute,” Savannah interrupted. “You told me you’d been with that Jones girl before me.” A twenty-one-year-old woman who’d reportedly made it her goal to deflower most of the young men in Placid.
“We never got past third base.”
Savannah’s shock gave way to sheer delight. “That means I was your first.”
Sam looked a little self-conscious before he recovered his tough-guy demeanor. “Yeah, you were my first, the same as I was yours. Can we just move on now?”
She couldn’t quite hold back a smile. “Sure. I’m all ears.”
“Anyway, Darlene always claimed that I never forgot you and that’s a big part of the reason why our marriage didn’t work.”
“And when she said that to me, I told her I didn’t believe it.”
“She was right, Savannah. Every woman I’ve been with I’ve compared to you.”
It dawned on Savannah that she’d done the same. She’d only had two serious relationships since her departure from Placid, and she’d held both men up to standards set by Sam. Neither had achieved those standards, and neither had won her love. Then again, Sam had yet to mention that emotion. “Are we talking only about sex, Sam?”
“I tried to tell myself that’s all it ever was. When you came back into town, at first I decided I wanted to remind you of what you’d been missing.”
Now it all began to make sense. “That’s why you danced with the girl at the bar and then kept throwing out all the innuendo.”
“Yeah, and later, I wanted to prove to you that I could be the man you always wanted me to be. As far as the sex goes, I didn’t plan on that. In fact, I wanted to avoid it. Getting that close to you again scared the hell out of me. It still does.”
Savannah had her own fears, as well. “Okay, so it’s not about sex, but you haven’t really said what this is all about.”
He paused a moment and she finally saw real vulnerability in his dark blue eyes. “I love you, Savannah. I always have and I probably always will. That’s what this is all about.”
Savannah suddenly realized he’d never actually said the words to her before. Many times in the past she’d expressed her love for him, and he’d always been the typical “Me, too” kind of guy.
She could tell the admission was costing him quite a bit from an emotional standpoint. What would it cost her to reciprocate? She couldn’t very well lie, though the truth could lead her into another maze of confusion. “I love you, too, Sam, more than I ever thought possible. But where does that leave us now?”
He took the envelope from her grip. “That’s where this comes in. When I said I’d hoped you’d live there, I meant I want you to live there with me full-time.”
Savannah found herself caught up in the perfect emotional storm as wave on wave of concerns blew through her mind. If she agreed, she would have to leave her career behind, but then she would build a new one geared toward people who really needed her services, not those who could pay well for sound legal representation. She would have to abandon city life and her condo—a tiny condo with sterile furniture and one wilting ivy—for the constraints of country living. No more shopping at will or dining at four-star restaurants. No more bumper-to-bumper traffic or harsh winter winds. No more waking up alone.
Perhaps she’d reached a point where she craved an easier pace, good friends and a good man to love. A few of her single female colleagues would be appalled to see a career-minded woman presumably sacrificing her dreams. Savannah saw it as exchanging one dream for another—a future with Sam in a town that needed her more than wealthy executives with money to burn.
To that point, Sam had stood there patiently awaiting her answer, but before she could give it, he said, “Dammit, Savannah, it takes Jamie less time to decide what she’s wearing every morning, and that involves
about an hour.”
For that he deserved to be kept on the hook a little longer. “I can’t stay, Sam. Not right now.”
All the hope drained from his face. “Fine. At least I tried.”
When he made a move to leave, Savannah grabbed his arm and forced him to face her. “I can’t stay because I have to go back to Chicago and clear out the condo and put it up for sale. Oh, and I have to call my boss and tell him to kiss my ass.”
Sam frowned. “Are you sure you want to do that?”
“Don’t worry, he’s heard the word ass before. I’m almost positive he’s been called that a time or twelve.”
He didn’t appear to be in a joking mood. He verified that when he said, “I’m serious, Savannah. I have to know that after you leave, you’re going to come back.”
Even in adulthood, the sins of his mother haunted him. Savannah thought of one way to reassure him. “I’m going to come back because you’re coming with me. I need help moving all my shoes.”
Finally, he smiled. He also took her into his arms and kissed her gently, sincerely. “I’m not sure the house will hold all your shoes. Then again, we’re going to have to redo the whole thing before we get married, otherwise your mom won’t come for a visit.”
Savannah hadn’t even considered that problem. She hadn’t considered much of anything except that Sam had said the word marry. “That has to be the worst proposal I’ve ever heard, Samuel McBriar.” The only proposal she’d ever heard. The only proposal she’d ever wanted to hear.
“You’re right. Maybe this will help.” He took a step back, shoved the deed into his back pocket and withdrew a ring from his front pocket. But not just any ring, Savannah discovered when he held it up. The promise ring he’d given her on her sixteenth birthday. The same ring she’d thrown at him that long-ago day in the diner.
“This will have to do until I can buy you another one to replace it,” he said as he slipped it on her left ring finger.
Savannah stared at the tiny diamond chip through a haze of tears. “I can’t believe you held on to it this long.”