So what had held him back?
Taking Alara as a permanent partner would alter his future and his career. Risking his life on one adventure after another meant he would also be risking hers. But finding another occupation shouldn’t have been on his mind right now, either. His thoughts rarely strayed so far from his mission, and he wondered if he was losing focus due to his altered state, the weakness of his body from lack of sustenance, or from the breakdown of his DNA.
When they hit the dead end for the third time, he suggested, We should go back.
One more time. I’ll take the floor, you check out the ceiling.
Fine. They reversed positions. But it wasn’t fine. He’d been the one who’d suggested leaving, and she was the one with the determination to continue. It was almost as if every time he thought about really looking at the stone, his mind refused to concentrate.
Or maybe there was more here than met his astral eyes. Maybe other forces didn’t want him to find what he sought? Or was he making excuses for coming up with nothing?
Alara’s aura glowed below him. He should be examining the rock, but her silhouette seemed abnormally bright. Are you all right?
Come here. Look.
He floated down beside her. I don’t see anything.
Look harder.
I still don’t . . . is that an arrow?
Excitement made her words louder in his mind. Which way do you think it’s pointing?
Down?
That’s what I thought. Let’s go see.
We’ve been gone a long time. We could come back tomorrow.
Shannon can’t wait, she reminded him gently.
He shouldn’t have needed reminding. What was wrong with him? He wanted to slap his face. Step under a cold waterfall. Alara, think carefully, do you feel . . . your usual self?
Her aura nodded. What’s wrong?
There’s mental pressure. Distractions. I’m not making good decisions.
Well, I think we should take a quick look. If we don’t find anything, it may not pay to return.
He didn’t trust his own judgment, but he trusted hers. All right. Let’s do it.
They merged with the floor, eased into the rock.
And slammed into . . . blackness.
HA. I TOLD YOU they couldn’t do it.
Stop gloating. Your trick didn’t work. He trusted her judgment more than your false trails.
They’ve still failed. You’ve failed.
Nonsense. They simply need to make further adjustments.
Watching their progress is as slow as the erosion on Delta Jameda.
But you must admit, they have made progress.
Not enough. You simply can’t accelerate evolution. They aren’t meant to evolve further. We should let them die and be done.
They are much closer than you think.
Really?
Just a few more manipulations, and they will be on the verge of another breakthrough.
They will still fail. Their brains simply don’t have the capacity to comprehend what you are so dutifully trying to accomplish.
Understanding all is unnecessary. However, the parts must come together. They must each do their task.
They’re at the breaking point. They’ll give up.
They will overcome the obstacles and be stronger for their endeavors.
Perhaps. But they are running out of time.
19
ALARA GROANED AND opened her eyes to see Cyn peering over at her. “Are you all right?”
“What happened?” Vax asked, his tone gruff.
Alara blinked and shoved up on one elbow. Although she had no memory of returning, she was back in her body, lying next to Xander, who gazed at her, his eyebrows furrowed in puzzlement. “We were exploring a passageway. And something struck us.”
“I think we struck . . . a wall . . . no, we didn’t have bodies. It must have been a force field that could repel our astral extensions.”
Vax scowled at her. “Do you realize how bizarre—”
“It happened.” Xander rubbed his brow. “I have the headache to prove it.” He sat up and peered at Shannon, who didn’t appear to have moved since they’d left. Her eyes were closed. Her breathing was shallow, her skin pale. But it was her total lack of expression that scared Alara.
“What did you find besides the force field?” Cyn asked.
Xander spoke slowly, summarizing their failure as if he were as discouraged and drained as she was. “The Perceptive Ones’ symbol on a stone led us to a passageway that ended, then Alara found an arrow pointing downward. When we tried to follow, we ran smack into the force field.”
Cyn grinned, her green skin showing off her excitement by deepening to a darker hue. “That’s wonderful.”
Alara frowned. “Getting smacked in the head is wonderful?”
“You found a force field.” Cyn’s tone rose with excitement. “No one builds a force field without a reason. Something important is down there. The Perceptive Ones likely built the force field to protect . . . it.”
“It?” Alara scooted closer to Shannon. “We have no idea what’s there, and we have no way to penetrate the barrier.”
Xander shuddered. “It was like running straight into bendar. Even my teeth ache.”
“You reached the barrier before me.” Alara closed her eyes, trying to envision every detail. “The barrier lit up with an incandescent orange color, raining red-hot sparks. I edged forward, too, and for a second, the sparks dimmed.” She opened her eyes and found Xander’s.
“You think the dimming indicates that we weakened the force field?”
She shrugged, wondering what they had to lose by going back. Her stomach was making terrible growls of hunger. Worse, her throat was so parched, talking actually hurt. And Shannon . . . God . . . Shannon was dying. “Perhaps if we all hit the field together, we could go through.”
“Clarie hasn’t come back. We need him to teach us how to leave our bodies,” Cyn objected.
Vax shook his head, his shoulders sagging in defeat. “I’ve already tried and failed to—”
“If Alara and I can astral-extend, then so can you,” Xander disagreed firmly, taking control—even though he was flat on his back and clearly in pain.
Alara scooted over and tugged until he lifted his head into her lap. While they discussed a plan, she used her fingertips to massage his scalp in an attempt to soothe away the pain. Slamming into that barrier had taken a toll she didn’t understand. How could their bodies hurt—when their bodies hadn’t been with them?
Clearly, they had to solve the mystery by using their new skills . . . Or were they all going to perish on Saj like Malk? The Saj leader had said to assume he’d died if he didn’t return.
This was his world, and if he couldn’t survive here, how could they? Perhaps they might last another day, maybe two without water. Every passing moment, their bodies weakened. The others felt it, too. The tension among them was as thick as the plants surrounding them.
“Alara and I need rest. We’ll all try to go in a few hours.” Xander glanced at Shannon, then Alara, his face drawn. “Make that one hour?”
She nodded agreement. Shannon’s breathing was so shallow, she couldn’t last much longer. All eyes rested on her, and the group went silent. Shannon suddenly gasped and shuddered. Then went completely still.
“Shannon?” Cyn kneeled beside the Terran and placed two fingers on her neck in search of a pulse. When Cyn’s hand dropped and she sagged, her head bowed, Alara’s throat clogged with tears.
“She’s gone?” Xander asked, his voice tight.
Alara couldn’t bear to look at anyone. If Shannon hadn’t thrown herself into the fray on Lapau to help her, she might have saved her strength to fight the virus. She mi
ght have lived . . . Stars. She couldn’t be gone. The Terran may have been getting on in years, but she’d been so full of life. She should have had another century or two to gallivant around the galaxy. She shouldn’t have died in some nameless spot on the rim without her family around her. Sure, she’d been among friends—and they’d done nothing to help her because there had been nothing to do.
The hopelessness tore at Alara, and knowing that billions more would die of the disease if they failed weighed upon her heart like lead. Her mind boggled at the thought of billions of deaths—Alara could barely take in the enormity of losing Shannon.
Alara’s throat tightened with tears, and she choked on the bitter sorrow. She’d been proud to call Shannon a friend and would miss her lively Terran attitude.
Vax hacked the thicker branches with the sword, taking his grief out on the plants. The men used the sticks Vax carved to dig a grave. Alara dug with her hands, scooping up the earth, letting it drizzle between her fingers, hoping the hard work would numb her sorrow. But the potent ache of knowing she would never again hear Shannon talk about her large family, never again see her smile or cook, made her angry.
Xander said a few words over the body, but Alara couldn’t listen, couldn’t take comfort from them. She kissed Shannon on each cheek and then her forehead, saying her own goodbye. Tears fell unashamedly down the Rystani warriors’ faces as well as her own. Only Cyn didn’t cry, but sadness was evident in her weary eyes.
It would be so easy to lie down next to Shannon’s grave and give up. Exhausted, head hurting, bone weary, Alara felt as if her brain were swathed in cotton. She couldn’t even maintain her anger. Shannon was dead. Soon the rest of them would join her. And the entire Federation wasn’t far behind.
They hadn’t found a cure, and just like Shannon, even these plants would die—as would every last living creature.
XANDER GAVE THEM until morning to rest. Alara didn’t sleep well, her sorrow over losing Shannon invading her dreams. While she stretched out the kinks in her neck, Vax dug deep into the ground and found several roots that held moisture. Each of them swallowed a few reviving sips of water.
Afterward, Xander spoke with renewed determination. “Shannon wouldn’t have wanted us to give up. So today we will teach Cyn and Vax to leave their bodies. Together we will soar to the force field and use our combined strength to break through.”
After repeated attempts, neither Cyn nor Vax could leave their bodies. But the harder they tried, the less they relaxed their muscles and failed to sink into a deep meditative state. Alara and Xander couldn’t figure out what was wrong with their teaching method. However, it had been Clarie who’d taught Alara and Xander, and the alien had disappeared when they needed him most.
As the sun rose in the sky, it took more psi energy to cool their suits. Tempers grew frayed and short. Finally, Xander called for another rest.
Vax dug deeper in search of more water but found none. Cyn sat beside Shannon’s grave, her feet drawn to her chest, her chin resting on her knees. “Maybe my people can’t leave their bodies.”
“It’s more likely we aren’t teaching you right.” Xander patted her shoulder. “We’ll no doubt get it this afternoon.”
Alara leaned against the plants. “Let’s go over what Clarie said one more time.”
“Found some.” Vax yanked more roots from the ground.
Xander accepted the bulbs from Vax and handed one to each of them. “We’ve gone over and over Clarie’s words. We’re missing something . . . else.”
They all sipped the precious water in silence. Finally, Cyn straightened her legs. “Clarie also spoke in a singsong rhythm. Maybe the tone and rhythm are as important as the words?”
Alara stared at her. “Perhaps those tones helped deepen the mental state. Like hypnosis.” She looked at Xander. “I have no voice at all for music.”
Vax chuckled, the first time anyone had laughed since Shannon’s death. “Xander can sing like a holovid celebrity. He has perfect pitch.”
Alara had had no idea he could sing. She’d only known that she’d been drawn to his voice from the first time he’d spoken to her. Xander always seemed able to convey emotions through his deep voice. “Can you replicate Clarie’s rhythm and notes?”
“I believe so.” He gestured for everyone to lie down. This time, when he repeated Clarie’s words, both Vax and Cyn soared above their bodies.
We did it.
How like Xander to give everyone credit when it was his voice that had made the difference. Alara recognized Vax by his tight silver aura that was about the same size as Xander’s, but not as bright. Cyn was still green, but she didn’t project a silhouette of her body as Alara did. Instead, she resembled a formless but pretty cloud.
Xander led them straight back to the mountain and the passageway. With four of them inside, their auras lit up the airless tunnel as bright as daylight.
Before we try to pierce the force field, I’d like to try a theory. For the first time, Xander’s thoughts sounded hesitant.
What? Alara encouraged him.
There’s nothing to prevent us from combining our auras.
Alara marveled at the audacity of his idea. Would they be stronger as one unit than as four separate entities? Who could say? Until they tried, they wouldn’t know what was possible. However, the notion tugged at her own desire to be close to Xander.
Vax, as usual, had questions. Suppose we can’t separate again? We could never return to our bodies.
And if our bodies die, Cyn asked, what will happen to our minds? Will we die, too? Or will we be stuck together for eternity? I’m not nixing the idea. I’d just like to know.
Alara understood the implications and yet . . . merging with Xander appealed to her on so many levels she was having difficulty sorting her feelings from her thoughts. Why don’t Xander and I merge first?
Good idea. Xander’s warmth and approval seeped into her mind, but she wondered if that was due to her willingness to try to merge to defeat the force field or because he welcomed the idea of being close to her.
If the joining worked, would their mental connection change? Would they be able to read each other’s thoughts? She wasn’t certain she wanted to know what he thought about her. After the last time they’d mated and her cells had adapted to him, he’d said little about how their lives would forever be joined and nothing about his feelings.
Suppose she merged and learned that he’d mated with her for reasons she didn’t like?
Krek. Now was not the time for personal issues. Still, she wouldn’t be a female if she didn’t wonder . . . Suppose she lost her own identity?
The thought made her hesitate, but then before she changed her mind, she floated, holding perfectly still, allowing Xander to close the distance between them. If she’d had lungs, she would have been holding her breath. Instead, anticipation mixed with wariness as the bronze glow of his aura moved into the space of her silhouette.
You okay? His thought, bold and concerned and determined, seemed to come from inside her head.
Our minds aren’t merging. She was very much still the individual.
I hope not.
But I can feel your . . . will—like tendrils wrapping around me, running through me.
Suddenly she couldn’t determine where his will ended and hers began. Her thoughts remained her own—but somehow, he’d fused their determination. Strength poured through her. For the first time, she thought his crazy idea might actually work.
By the stars, Vax swore. I can’t tell where one of you begins and the other ends.
Join us, Xander coaxed.
What if we can never separate? Vax asked.
It won’t be a problem. It’s like holding hands and letting go. Together we’re stronger than each of us alone, Alara encouraged him, already understanding that the unio
n would not be permanent and elated by the power that seemed to expand exponentially with their merged auras.
Alara fully expected Vax to join and strengthen them yet again. He edged close. Their auras touched his—but like a skittish feline, he backed away.
You have to hold still, Xander instructed.
Vax’s frustration poured into her mind. I’m trying, but it’s as if your auras are deflecting me. Every time I approach, you shove me back.
Cyn floated forward. Let me try. Vax moved aside to give her room. The nebulous green cloud that was Cyn scudded toward them, but like flesh that approached too close to fire, she jerked back. You’re blocking me out, or I can’t find an entrance.
Perhaps Vax and Cyn should try to link. Alara figured at least they’d multiply their strength as she and Xander had done.
Good idea. Xander’s admiration was genuine. Perhaps there are limits to how many can link. Or maybe we have to be compatible on a level we don’t understand.
Vax held still and Cyn approached. Tentatively, she dipped a fragment of her aura into his silver brightness. The silver took on a green sheen. It’s working. Their thoughts came through simultaneously.
Alara watched the merge, fascinated. The brightness gleamed, and the hard edges that had portrayed Vax had softened as Cyn and he merged. She wondered what she and Xander looked like, but sensing Xander’s eagerness to attack the barrier, she didn’t ask frivolous questions. But she couldn’t help thinking about whether the merging required one female and one male—or simply two beings. Her scientific curiosity was streaming at hyperdrive speed, but she had to force herself to focus on the mission.
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