Breathe

  Miles jumps from his seat and crouches in front of me. “Look at me, Gracie.” I can't focus. The room is spinning and my ears are starting to ring. Panic is rising in me and I can't seem to control it. “Look at me, Gracie!” He repeats louder.

  I look around and work to focus my eyes on his. He rubs my knees with his hands. The small motions start to calm me.

  Just breathe.

  “Are you okay to hear some more? We can stop if you want.”

  I shake my head. “I'm fine. I need to hear this.” I breathe in through my nose and out through my mouth several times to try and gain at least a small amount of composure.

  Miles nods once. “Okay.” He takes a deep breath. I mimic the action and take one last deep breath. “The more digging we did into Patrick and a few of his buddies the more shit we found on Linc. He had stacks of news clippings about him and his family, articles from The Harvard Crimson, info on Kennedy including a copy of his birth certificate and random pictures of Rebecca. He somehow found out about her and Kennedy and used that to his advantage.”

  I cringe at the mention of her name again. Asher scoots around the table and sits on the couch next to me. He picks up my hand and squeezes it.

  Miles continues. “He had a lot of research about Rebecca on his computer. He found her and my guess is he bribed and blackmailed her into some kind of scheme involving Linc, using Kennedy as the pawn. Obviously, this is how she got him out of town and in to Boston. We think Patrick wanted Linc out of the way so he could get you alone to persuade you to take him back. He was having you followed so he knew where you were at all times.”

  Landon pipes in. “I confronted Rebecca about the scheme this morning outside of her hotel. After a bit of persuasion,” he coughs once, “I got her to confess to me.”

  “Oh, God. What did you do, Landon?”

  “What I had to do for you, Gracie. I'd do anything for the one's I care about the most. That's all you need to know.”

  Briar scoffs.

  “She told me about the plan. Patrick had looked her up and contacted her about a plan of how he thought she could get Linc back, thereby giving him you in the process. It would be a win for them both. He gets you and she gets Linc. She was supposed to convince Linc that she wanted to see Kennedy and to bring him to Boston where she would be for business. After they came, she tried to talk Linc into taking her back so they could be a family, saying that it's best for Kennedy. The way she talked to me about that boy, she clearly doesn't give two shits about him.”

  I lower my head and shake it. How can she not care about her own son?

  “Anyway, she confessed to me that her motive was jealousy.”

  “And so is Patrick's,” Miles adds.

  Landon nods in agreement. “But we're not done with his part of the story yet.”

  How long is this damn story? I don't know how much more of this I can take.

  After a small window of silence, Parker finally speaks. “After we learned of the plan, we started in on the shooting. Rebecca had known there was some sort of plan for Linc, she just didn't know what it was. That's when we thought to start asking David questions.”

  “David Vice? Patrick's best friend?” I inquire.

  “The one and only. He was very helpful when push came to shove.” Parker smirks over at Daddy and they share the same dirty smile. “Patrick had been shadowing you for a while, keeping tabs on your comings and goings. He had David tailing Linc. As he thought you were leaving town, like the rest of us, Patrick, David and a couple of their dirtbag friends went on following Linc. Well, they followed him out to Jersey and back to the gym in Brooklyn.”

  I throw my hand over my mouth and shake my head back and forth vigorously.

  Miles looks up at me. “One of them shot Kennedy. Not sure which asshole did it but we're one hundred percent sure that the bullet was meant for Linc.”

  Just then, the door burst open and Linc comes barreling in scanning the room. Asher stands and pulls me up with him. Linc pushes past him and circles my body with his strong arms. He lifts me off the ground and carries me over to the hallway.

  “I'm so sorry.” He kisses me. “I'm so, so sorry,” he whispers against my lips.

  My tears start to gather between our mouths.

  I nod and kiss him back. He lowers me to the carpet but doesn't let me go.

  “I want to explain everything to you.”

  “You don't need to. The boys have told me everything.”

  “No. I want you to hear some things from me.”

  I nod again and Linc leads me back to the living room with my hand in his. My family stares at Linc. I have no idea what they’re all thinking right now.

  “First of all, I want to thank all of you for taking care of my girl when I couldn't.” Linc brings our hands to his lips and kisses the back of mine. “I also want to say I'm sorry to all of you for putting her through all of this. Grace wouldn't have all this sadness and anger if it wasn't for me. But I love her and I will do everything in my power to keep her as safe and happy as I can from now on. Starting right this moment, you,” he locks his eyes with mine, “are my priority. You and Kennedy are what I live for and no one is going to take either of you away from me. Ever.”

  Rafe sighs.

  Briar mumbles, “so romantic.”

  Asher grumbles, “gross.”

  And I’m sure my older brothers are rolling their eyes.

  “Glad to hear that son,” Daddy comments.

  He looks to Daddy. They share a knowing smile and a nod. “About what happened earlier at the hospital.” He states to me. “Rebecca came clean to me. She told me she also confessed to Landon this morning. Kennedy was just a pawn in her little game. Little did she know that he and I are a package deal. She doesn't want to be a mother to him and I definitely don't want to be anything to her. We came to a crossroads that I didn't want to be at in the first place. That's when the admittance to who shot Kennedy came.

  “As much as she doesn't want to be a part of Kennedy's life, she never wanted him to get hurt. What you saw was her breakdown. Something in her switched when she watched me walk away from her and go after you. It was her last-ditch effort to get to me and hurt you.” He glances around the room then stares back into my eyes. “After you left we fought in the middle of the hallway. My father stepped out from an elevator right in the middle of the blowout and thank God, he did. Apparently when she signed the contract all those years ago to give up all rights to Kennedy to me, she also signed to have no contact with us. Ever. She broke that. My father reminded her of this little nugget and threatened to have her arrested for breach of contract. After putting up quite a fight and being threatened by my father she agreed to no more contact. Said her final goodbye and walked away.”

  “So, she's gone?” I asked.

  “She's gone. And if she knows what's good for her she'll stay gone forever.”

  The bitch better stay down.

  Chapter Thirty-seven

  Christmas Eve was just the three of us: Kennedy, Lincoln, and me.

  Nice and quiet.

  We watched movies and ate to our heart’s content. Christmas day was a different story. Family and friends came in and out, filling the whole days’ worth of visiting hours. Amy had set up a small plastic tree decked in tiny lights and small ornaments. We tried to make the day as normal as it could be for Kennedy. He smiled and laughed and even walked around to hang out with some of the other kids on the floor.

  Linc hasn't brought up his marriage proposal to me again. He's been trying to give me the time I requested. I wanted to make Kennedy our first priority and get him healthy and home.

  So, here we are, the day after Christmas, getting ready to take the little man home. I spent last night at the apartment taking care of any last-minute tasks before his arrival. We'll have a full house and I wouldn't want it any other way. Daddy did hint that Amy may be moving into his apartment with him. He claims that he has lots of room and I don't. I'm not sure tha
t this is the reason but I'm not going to fight him on it. He's not fooling anyone. If Amy goes, Asher should go. Daddy should really be working on his relationship with him. Amy can help with that.

  As I finish unloading the last of the groceries, the front door opens with a lot of commotion.

  “Jeez, dad. I can do it by myself.”

  “I just don't want you carrying all that stuff and falling over. It's not good for you.”

  “I can do it!”

  I walk around the bar. “Hi.”

  “Hi.” Linc gives me a kiss on the cheek. “There's more in the truck. I'll be right back.”

  I turn to the boy. “Should we start taking all this stuff up to your room?”

  We make a few trips up to his room to get him settled in. I help him unpack the bags from the hospital as Linc fusses with boxes upon boxes of gifts and such. All of his other things from the house in Jersey are already here, unpacked and set up in his room. He sure has a lot of stuff for only being ten.

  Let's just say that Kennedy is one spoiled little man.

  AFTER AN HOUR OF REARRANGING his room and a light lunch, Kennedy and I are sprawled out on the giant sofa watching the original Karate Kid on Netflix. Linc has gone to do some work at Mercury. He hasn't done much, if any, work since Kennedy has been in the hospital. I think it's time he rejoins the real world and earns his keep. Really, I just want him out of my hair.

  Once I give Kennedy his pain meds, he falls fast asleep on the sofa. I start to putter around the house doing some random tasks when I decide that I really don't do house work and pick up my Kindle to start a new book. By the time I reach the third chapter, there’s a light knock on the door.

  With a groan, I lift my ass up off the couch, kiss Kennedy on the forehead and head to the door. I peek through the peephole and don't see anyone. Slowly I turn the knob and carefully open the door.

  My heart starts to race. “How did you get up here? You can't be here.”

  “I know you know. I need to explain some things to you.”

  “Let me rephrase. You are not to be here. Go away.”

  “Bunny, please. Let me explain,” Patrick pleads.

  “No.” I push the door closed, but before it shuts completely Patrick sticks his foot out and jams it between the door and the frame. He slams his hand against the heavy wood and leans into it forcing it to open wider.

  “You will listen to me. I will make you understand.” His tone is menacing and cold. He forces his way into the apartment and the door swings closed with a slam.

  Patrick walks with purpose into the living room, with me trailing close behind, and comes to a halt when he sees Kennedy sitting up at attention staring at him. He turns to me with a questioning look.

  “He's out of the hospital?”

  “Obviously.”

  “Why is he here? He should be back in Jersey,” Patrick growls.

  “Not that it's any of your business, Patrick, but Kennedy is living here now. I'm going to be taking care of him until he’s able to go back to school.”

  He looks to Kennedy and then back to me. The look on his face is terrifying. I'm not sure if he’s ready to fight me or Kennedy. Or both. On instinct, I quickly move to the boy’s side and take him in my arms. Patrick watches me as I comfort the little man.

  “So, you're a happy little family now. Is that right?”

  I don't respond.

  Patrick takes a seat on the couch right next to Kennedy. I hold him closer to me in an attempt to protect him.

  “Say what you have to say and get the hell out, Patrick.”

  “I changed my mind. I don't want to explain anything to you.”

  “Then get out.”

  “No,” he states in an eerily calm voice. “I'm going to stay here and get to know Kennedy a little better.”

  I bend my head to Kennedy's ear. “Go on upstairs and finish the movie in your room.”

  He looks to me and shakes his head.

  “It's okay, little man.” I run a hand through his hair and cup his chin so he focuses on me. “I'll be up with a snack in a little bit.”

  He hesitantly nods, unwraps himself from the blanket and leaves the living room with Duritz trailing behind him. Once he’s ascended the stairs and I know he’s out of earshot, I turn to Patrick.

  “How could you?” I fidget with the lily charm on my bracelet.

  “I didn't do it.”

  “I don't care if you weren't the one who pulled the trigger, Patrick. You were the one who set the whole thing in motion. You were the one who thought it would be smart to bring this violence. You were the one who thought by doing all of this I would take you back. Well, guess what? I will never take you back. You hurt a little boy.” I raise my voice. “You could have killed a little boy!”

  He stands and gets in my face. “It wasn't supposed to be him! It was supposed to be Lincoln!” He grabs my upper arms and shakes me. “I needed him out of the way. He took you from me. As long as I could get him out of the picture then you would be mine again.”

  “Patrick, stop. You’re hurting me.” He stops shaking me and yanks me into him. He’s squeezing so tight I'm starting to lose air. “Stop this.”

  He continues squeezing as if I'm going to bolt once he let's go. Which is true. My body starts to tense more and breaks into a cold sweat. He keeps whispering sayings like “I'll take care of you” and “You'll be safe with me”. There is no doubt in my mind that he's gone crazy.

  Bat-shit crazy.

  I start to shake and I know a panic attack is looming. Patrick doesn't even notice. It's like he’s in another world. Off in la-la land.

  He looks to me with dead eyes. “We're going to go now, Bunny. I have a new apartment for us to live in. A new apartment for a new start. How does that sound?”

  “I'm not going anywhere with you, Patrick,” I push out in two short breaths. It comes out so quietly I'm not sure he even heard me.

  He walks us towards the door while continuing to whisper gibberish to me about being together forever.

  This can't happen. He can't take me anywhere.

  “Patrick! Stop!” I scream as best as I can.

  He comes to a complete stop in the doorway of the foyer. “Oh. Sorry, Bunny. You probably want to pack a few things. Take a quick minute and do that.” He lets me go and I stumble back a few steps. Clutching my stomach with my hand I take in a few shallow breaths. I compose myself the best I can and slowly make my way to the bedroom.

  I pace around my room and try to think of my next move. Do I go with him? Do I fight him? What will happen to Kennedy if he takes me? Will Linc or Miles find me if that happens?

  Just breathe.

  “Everything will be okay,” I say out loud. As I walk towards my closet, I notice my phone is resting on the coffee table. I grab it but as soon as I open a new text Patrick walks into the room.

  “Tsk, tsk.” He grabs the phone from my hands and grabs me around my waist. “You won't need this.” He puts it in his back pocket. “Everyone in this phone is an old memory for you, Bunny. We're going to be making new memories.”

  I don't want new memories unless they're with Linc.

  Linc!

  I have to get a message to him.

  “Patrick, if I'm going to leave with you I at least need to tell Kennedy so he'll know he's here alone.”

  “Oh. Right. The kid.” He sighs. “If you must. But I'm going with you.”

  I lead us out of my room and up the stairs. He's lying on his bed watching the movie, just as I told him to.

  I knock as I enter. “Hey.” He looks up at me with worried eyes. I make eye contact and try my best to speak everything to him in just my gaze. “I need to leave with Patrick. We’re going to his new apartment.” Patrick coughs behind me. I roll my eyes like a teenager. “Go over to Thomas' apartment and wait for your dad to get home from work. When he gets home, please tell him that I left and that I’ll be okay. Can you do that for me?”

  He stares at me for a f
ew long seconds and nods in what I'm hoping is acknowledgement of my request. He'll be safe and Thomas will get the ball rolling on finding me.

  I narrow my eyes to bring my point across. I kiss him on the forehead one more time in reassurance and start to walk away. As I reach the door, I turn back to him. “Oh, can you also tell Briar that I'm okay and I need my red scarf. I really need that red scarf.”

  He nods again. “Ti amo, Grace,” he says quietly.

  “Ti amo.” Tears are trying to escape my eyes. I take as deep a breath I can to hold them in. “Don't forget to tell Briar about the red scarf.” I turn back to Patrick.

  “Let's go start our new life together.” He puts his arms around my shoulders and grins like a damn Cheshire cat.

  I want to kick this cat in the fucking teeth.

  PATRICK HAS TAKEN ME to an apartment in the West Village. I didn't know he knew of any other places in New York besides Manhattan. He's only ever cared about the circles we've kept there and what his family's money could get him there.

  What an asshole.

  I walk around the open floor plan letting my fingers trail over the furniture, frames filled with pictures of the two of us and random knick-knacks. Patrick hasn't taken his eyes off of me.

  “Do you like it?”

  I shrug and try not to cry.

  This place is stagnant and cold. It may be filled with cozy furniture and pictures of a happier time, but this is not home.

  Home is my apartment. Home is Linc.

  “Come. I want to show you something.” Patrick stretches his arm out and extends his hand for me to take. I reluctantly oblige him.

  He leads me down a hallway to an open door at the end. “This is our room.” He lets go of my hand and places it at the small of my back gently pushing me inside the room.

  I stumble in and look around. He’s almost replicated my actual bedroom.

  “I thought you would want something like you had before.” He smiles down at me. “You always said that was your favorite room in the house.”

  I did say that.

  However, here, in this apartment, I hate this room.