by Sheila Kell
Once she’d controlled herself enough to lift her head, she blew her nose on the tissue that had been placed in her hand by her mother.
“Sweetie,” her mother said over her shoulders, “why don’t you show Trent around.”
“Uh, sure.” Frank stood. “Come on, Trent, let’s get those coats back on. Let me show you my ranch. At least what’s close.” He chuckled. Leaning down, he kissed Kelly on the forehead. “I love you.”
“I love you, too, Daddy.”
After the men had departed, Barbara stood and claimed her cup of coffee before sitting back down by her daughter. “So, have you thought about what you plan to do?”
Combining a slow shrug and a shake of her head, Kelly waffled. “I don’t know.” Then stronger, she said, “I haven’t decided. I have my job in Baltimore that I can go back to. But Mike offered to let me stay there. He’s made Ashley his heir and wants to see her grow up there.”
“Damn Luke for breaking his father’s heart. Well, you know you can always stay here. We’ve got plenty of room now that all of you have moved out.”
“Thank you, Momma. I’ll let you know when I figure it out.”
“Now, what are you going to do about that hunk of a man that came here with you?”
Eyes wide, she half laughed. “Momma.” Never had she heard her mother call a man a hunk.
“Don’t act all coy with me. I saw how he worried for you when you were bawling your eyes out. I figure he must mean something to you if you were willing to allow him to see you like that.”
“But Brian—”
“Pish posh. I know you were never in love with Brian. Otherwise you’d never have moved away from here to begin with or at least, you wouldn’t have waited so long to get back with him.”
Kelly bit her lip. Should she? Her mother had already surprised her. Maybe she would again. She blurted out, “I’m in love with him.”
“And he’s in love with you.”
“No. That’s the problem. He’s not.”
“Are you sure about that?”
WITH A STETSON on his head, Trent mounted the brown gelding named Rocky that Mike had provided for him and sent his thanks to Les for teaching him how to do it. He’d expected a nearly lame mare to tote his greenhorn ass around, but with Mike working as a horse breeder, no such thing existed on the ranch. So, he’d bundled up and trusted AJ to look after Kelly while she slept, and Mike took him wherever it was he’d planned, hoping it wasn’t the two miles to the cave. His ass might not be able to handle that all at once.
With Kelly lying down to rest again, he’d worried since she did it so often, but Mike had waved it off as a pregnancy thing. Even though Mike wasn’t a doctor, Trent accepted that, but it didn’t stop his concern.
They cantered past two of the men working with the horses. He saw them long enough to see one sit a horse and get his ass thrown over the front of it. A small pang of panic set in. Patting the horse he rode, he muttered, “Nice horsey.”
Mike let out a snort.
Glancing around, Trent watched the second ranch hand try to corral the horse while the one on the ground picked himself up like it was nothing to get thrown every day and maybe it was, in their world. When he didn’t see the other men, that panic became full blown. “Where are the rest of your men?” They’d been cleared for the most part, but in his mind, everyone was suspect in wanting to hurt Kelly.
Mike turned to him. “They’re with the cattle. Ready to pick it up a bit? I’ll show you.”
Not really wanting to trot but wanting to lay his eyes on the workers, he nodded and giving Rocky a bit more rein, he used his knees to direct the horse like he’d been shown.
Close to one mile from the ranch, Trent’s skin began to itch leaving Kelly alone so long. Mike led them along the fence line of a pasture, and the specks he’d seen were taking shape as cattle and men.
“They’re moving them up to graze on some fresher grass.”
Finding fresh grass in this frozen area surprised the hell out of him, but he guessed the cows would eat any grass—dead or alive. He’d heard how the men broke up the ice for the cattle and horses to have water. Thankfully, he was used to cold in Baltimore, or he’d hate it here. Then again, it was February already.
Shit. Valentine’s Day was tomorrow. He and Kelly weren’t officially out as a couple, but he knew the importance of remembering that holiday that made grown men groan.
They slowed as he continued pondering what he’d do for her. It probably wasn’t too late to order flowers, although her noticing they came express mail would show he hadn’t planned.
Halting beside Mike, Trent tossed his hands across his pummel like the other man. The area was amazingly green for winter. The snow on the mountains created a beautiful backdrop for the wide open space.
“I want to know why you move close, then pull back.”
Unsure the direction of this conversation—as there could be plenty with that opening line—Trent pleaded ignorant. “What do you mean?”
“I watch you. It’s obvious you love her. Yet one minute you show it, then the next you pull back, and a faraway lost look appears in your eyes.”
Les.
He took a deep breath and almost screamed at how cold it burned down his chest. Could he dump all his feelings out to this man? Could he explain in a way that would make it all better? That would never happen. Even Jamie said it’d never go away completely. He’d just learn to deal with it. But, how?
“The boy—AJ—told me a bit about what happened to you.”
A smile slid on his face at AJ being called a boy. He was only a year younger than Trent. He bet AJ loved that title. Then the smile dropped when he recalled the current conversation. “What did he tell you?”
Rubbing his hand around his chin, Mike drew his brows in thought. “Well, you saved a girl and were injured.” He dropped his hand to his jean-clad thigh. “Badly.”
Trent snorted. Badly was saying it nicely. “Yeah, I was injured pretty bad. Second and third degree burns on most of my back, ass, and upper thighs. And, they had to remove shrapnel that left holes in my back. It was fucking painful.” Heat crept into his face. “Sorry, for the language.” Why did he feel that way around Mike and Frank? Maybe because they were like father figures in the way they carried themselves. A way that demanded respect.
Mike waved his thought off with a flick of the wrist. “Don’t sweat it. You’ll hear that and worse from me when we begin to brand new cows.”
Branding cows. Wow. That’d be exciting and, if he truly had to be honest with himself, fucking terrifying at the same time.
“So you were hurt. It looks like you recovered, though.”
Nodding to agree to the partial lie, he heaved a sigh. “I look like a monster.”
“Hmph. What does Kelly think about it?”
“Um,” he said nervously, “Kelly—My back—” He knew he’d revealed too much with his inability to have a simple response.
Shaking his head, Mike frowned but somehow released a chuckle. “Don’t think something goes on in my house without me knowing. That little gal has slipped into your bed every night you’ve been here.”
Fuck. And they thought they’d been quiet about it. Kelly would not like this little revelation. She wanted Mike to think the best of her, which was why she pulled back from him when they were around him. Trent adjusted his hat and hung his head. “She’s fine with it. Or, so she says.”
“She wouldn’t say it if she didn’t mean it.”
True. Kelly was honest to a fault. He loved that about her. He loved everything about her. He’d also realized that he was in love with her and wanted to marry her. But—
“What is it then?”
“What do you mean?” He knew what the man was talking about but still stalled.
“That look you get in your eye before you act like you shouldn’t be enjoying yourself?”
Defeated, he let out a weathered breath. “There are times when I don’t think I
should be. After the accident, I felt like that all the time.”
The creaking of Mike’s saddle warned him the man had turned more of his body toward Trent. “Why?”
Trent rubbed a hand down his face before speaking. “A friend of mine, Les, died during that accident AJ told you about.” The man I’m imitating now on horseback with a damn cowboy hat. God, I’m such a lousy friend to the man.
Nodding, Mike frowned. “He told me. What’s that got to do with you being happy?”
“If I hadn’t joined into the situation, he might’ve found a way out. He might’ve survived.” The hoarse croak in his voice surprised him.
“Do you really believe that? It sounded to me like if you hadn’t come along, they probably wouldn’t have been able to save that little girl.”
Trent shook his head. “He’d have found a way.”
“If that’s true, why did you join them?”
“Amber was squirming, and the woman kept threatening to kill her.” His heart plummeted to his stomach and rolled around to churn the sick feeling he had. That event flashed before his mind—the woman with the bomb vest holding the hand of Amber and telling Les she’d kill her unless Jake could be brought to her. Little did they know at the time, she’d planned to kill Amber anyway. After he’d inserted himself to help settle his niece, they’d kept everything calm until the cavalry had arrived. Only the cavalry couldn’t do anything because of the kill switch in the woman’s hand. So after much discussion between the crew in their earpieces, and nods and hand signals from him and Les, a plan had been formed. A plan that only gave Les a 10 percent chance of survival.
Trent shook his head, trying to clear the melancholy that so quickly slipped into him.
“And, what happened?”
Sliding back to that day, his heart rate accelerated as he described the event. “Once it had been decided no other option was available, I had to look my friend in the eye, knowing he might not survive and I couldn’t do a thing about it. If maybe I’d come to stand in a different spot, then we could’ve changed places. But as it was, Amber stood between the terrorist and me. I was her only hope.”
Trent’s eyes watered, and he reined back his emotions to keep tears from slipping down his cheek.
Mike didn’t speak, just waited for him to compose himself.
“When the time came, we surprised the terrorist. I snatched Amber, turned, and cradled her to me as quickly as possible, then dove into the pool behind us, hoping it would protect her from any blast. Les—Les grabbed at the bomber’s hand and the kill switch in hopes of removing it before she could detonate it.” He swallowed hard against the lump that had climbed up in his throat, lodging itself almost painfully. “He failed.”
After a long pause, Mike sat up straight and folded his arms over his chest. “I see.”
Anger raged through him. He wanted to jump to his feet, but his ass’d fall off the horse, and that was a pretty big fall. “No, you don’t see,” he ranted, and his horse sidestepped. The bit of panic he’d felt must’ve displayed on his face. He just pictured the thing bolting and him holding on for dear life.
“Calm down and the horse will settle. He’s acting off your emotions.”
Baffled that a horse could do that, he tabled learning more until after they finished this conversation. “It’s my fault. He should’ve survived. How can I have a good life when he’ll never have the chance? It’s unfair, and it’s worse when I forget and allow myself to be happy.”
“Relax, you’re choking that saddle horn,” Mike told him firmly.
With adrenaline racing through him, Trent almost fought the man’s dictate but knew the tight grip did nothing to quell his emotional outburst. Mike didn’t deserve his ire. With Kelly at his side, Trent had bottled it up, and he should’ve known it’d rear its ugly head the first moment it could. The thing was, he was the object of his anger.
“I want you to listen to me, and listen good, boy. You ain’t the only one who has lost someone in the line of duty.”
Trent narrowed his eyes at the man, ready to take off his head again. He didn’t need patronizing.
“I was in Desert Storm.”
The man could’ve knocked him over with a sledgehammer, and he wouldn’t have been more surprised. Mike was a country boy, no, a cowboy, through and through.
“Don’t look at me so funny. I wasn’t always a rancher, and I ain’t as old as you think.”
“You were in the military?” Disbelief clouded Trent’s words.
Mike nodded. “Damn sure was. Lost a lot of friends in Desert Storm and the aftermath. Some right in front of my eyes. It sucks and it haunts you, but this is where I want you to clean that wax out of your ears. You can’t let it dictate your life.”
Dropping his head, he exhaled slowly. “That’s what Jamie kept telling me.”
“Jamie sounds like a really smart person. Why didn’t you listen to him?”
A slight chuckle escaped. He’d told her that her name could be construed as a man’s, and she’d refused to agree. Oh, Jamie, I want to do this, but I’m still not sure I’m ready. “She,” he said softly. Then, he added, “It still doesn’t seem fair for me to live the American dream and Les be gone. I don’t know that I can reconcile that.”
And, he couldn’t.
“You probably never will completely.”
“Jamie said that also.”
“Why the hell didn’t you listen to her?”
“Because I’m a jackass.”
Mike laughed and looked out over his herd. “Well, that remains to be seen.” He turned back to Trent. “Someone asked me a question once when I was in your shoes after seeing my buddies die before my eyes.”
Trent’s gut clenched. Buddies? He couldn’t imagine living that nightmare over and over and having more people speak to you. To blame you.
“If the roles were reversed and you had died and looked over your friend while he survived, would you want him to have a full life and be happy or not take what was sitting there for him and reliving that nightmare thinking he was at fault?”
That one question struck him in his chest harder than any previously thrown at him by the counselors at the hospital or Jamie. It was like Mike saw to the core of his pain. Of course he did. He’d lived through it too and look at him now. A prosperous ranch owner with a living child and a grandchild on the way.
No, he’d fucking want Les to enjoy himself and not fret over him. In that scenario, he was dead, and there was nothing anyone could do for him. Nothing would ever rid him of the guilt, but things were as they were. He had the option to grab on with both hands instead of one and fully enjoy his life without allowing this to pull him away. Les would have his ass if he knew that Trent wasn’t doing just that.
Christ, he’d been a fool. A fool who was damn lucky his woman loved him and was patient while he figured his shit out. No, she hadn’t known he had this issue, but Kelly surely knew something kept him from being his old self.
Now he had to figure out, seriously this time, not only how to propose to her, but how to support her and the baby. They each had a small apartment in Baltimore, and he had a job that could be deadly, and she had a penchant for getting into trouble with her investigative reporting. Maybe it was time to start giving Mike’s offer some serious thought.
“I see you’ve answered the question for yourself,” Mike said, interrupting his thoughts.
“I’m sorry. He’d want me to live.” He paused, taking a moment to resolve all that his head and heart were feeling. With conviction, he said, “And that’s what I plan to do.”
A broad smile swept across Mike’s face. “Good. My offer still stands if you plan to marry that gal.” He gestured to the herd and then wider to encompass the area. “I could use help with all of this and know I’ve prepared someone to take my place.”
Grinning, Trent responded, “Oh, I plan to marry her, if she’ll have me. As for the offer, I’d have to see where she wants to live.” Instinct told him he
’d finally found what he’d always been seeking. Without a doubt, he and Kelly living out their days on this ranch was his destiny.
Who’d have thought the city boy would take to the country so easily? Granted, he hadn’t spent a day doing the chores, but it beat carrying a weapon any day.
“I think she’s ready to come home. I’ll talk with her.”
“Mike, I can’t replace Brian.” He pulled his lips in tight. “Or Luke,” he added hesitantly.
“I’m not asking you to. Brian’s gone, and I’ll figure something out for Luke. I’m asking you to take care of my granddaughter and that wonderful mother of hers.”
Excitement rode him, and he leaned back in the saddle. “You’ll teach me everything and be patient when I screw up?”
Mike shook his head. “It’s not that hard, just hard work. You’ll catch on quick.”
This was the chance he’d been thinking about when he’d assessed their situation in Baltimore. He didn’t begrudge Jesse, AJ, or Jake for raising their children there; he just wasn’t raising his daughter there. Daughter. Calling Ashley that had come about so easily for him.
He’d miss the men at HIS, but his family came first. While enjoying growing up on the Hamilton estate, it’d never felt like home to him. Something had always been missing. Sure it’d been opulent with all the amenities of a large hotel, but they’d only been tenants.
Here he’d be a tenant of sorts since Mike planned to will the property to Ashley, but this house and this property, hell, even the small town called to him in a way he’d never imagined. And he’d seen the change in Kelly once she’d landed on Montana soil. She’d relaxed and let her guard down.
Knowing there’d be reminders all around of Brian did pull at him. He didn’t want Kelly mooning after the man, but he’d have to trust she wasn’t in love with him. Since he’d promised Ashley would know her father, they’d need something of Brian anyway, so he’d have to get used to it, for his daughter’s sake if nothing else.
Decision made, Trent reached out a hand, and Mike shook it, each with a firm grip. “I’ll be glad to stay if she agrees to stay with me.”