We have to do something to stop Mum dying.
Biddy thinks so too. She crosses her fingers, and her legs and whispers, ‘Please, fairy godmother, don’t let my mum die. I will…’ She opens her eyes trying to think what she could give up. It would have to be something really big. ‘I will give up a best friend,’ she says. Then she realises that might not be big enough. She says, ‘And I will stop sucking my thumb.’
A panic ripples through her body. But she clenches her fist with the sucking thumb on the inside and whispers, ‘I will never suck my thumb again.’
Chapter ten
then a miracle happens
‘Biddy, are you alright?’ Dad asks her.
Biddy sits up. ‘Is Mum going to die?’
‘No, darling,’ Dad laughs. ‘She’s having a baby.’
‘A baby! Why?’
‘Brigid,’ Dad says, ‘we told you Mum was having another baby.’
‘But that was ages ago. I thought that was Ellen.’
‘No, this is another baby.’
‘But we don’t need another baby,’ Biddy says. ‘We’ve already got Matilda and Ellen. That is already too many.’
Dad laughs. ‘I know, darling, but we’re getting another one anyway.’
Biddy stands up, her face serious. ‘Dad.
It’s not funny. You’ve got to give it back!’
‘Brigid Lucy!’ Dad says shocked. ‘A baby is a miracle.’
‘A miracle?’ Biddy asks. ‘You mean a magic miracle? Like a magic spell miracle?’
‘I suppose so,’ Dad says.
‘No way,’ Biddy says looking around for Granny. ‘Granny?’ she yells
‘Brigid sit down and be quiet,’ Dad says in an angry whisper.
‘But, Dad, I’ve got to tell Granny before it is too late,’ Biddy says. ‘It was supposed to be a best friend, not a baby.’
‘Brigid Lucy!’ Dad says. ‘Come back here right now.’ But he can’t get up because Matilda’s asleep on his lap.
Biddy knows she should do what Dad says. But this is an emergency. So she has to pretend she can’t hear Dad. She runs through the doors to Mum’s room yelling ‘Granny,’ ducking under trolleys and between legs. ‘Granny.’
It smells in here and there are machines buzzing and loud breathing noises.
‘Waaaah!’ There’s a baby crying.
Biddy sees Granny’s legs and pulls at her dress.
‘Granny, we made a mistake. We did the miracle spell wrong. We’re not getting a best friend. We’re getting a baby.’
Granny turns around and laughs. ‘Biddy!’ She puts her arm around Biddy and brings her in close.
And there on the bed behind her is Mum.
And on Mum’s belly is a little fat red baby. He is so tiny and red and crunched up with squashedness. He is kicking his little legs and arms and snuggling into Mum’s belly.
‘Hello,’ Biddy says.
And the baby opens his little not-seeing-very-well eyes and looks around. He is trying to find where the voice is coming from.
‘This is your little baby brother,’ Mum says, her voice all croaky.
‘Is he ours?’ Biddy asks, and reaches out to touch the baby’s hand.
The little baby grabs her finger! Biddy laughs and laughs.
I run down Biddy’s arm to touch him. His hand is warm and soft and he smells so fresh and new, like a just-opened butterfly. I love him. I want to snuggle into his softness and stay there forever.
‘So you weren’t sick and dying!’ Biddy says. ‘You mean it wasn’t me “being the death of you”?’
‘Biddy,’ Mum says cuddling her close, ‘you knew we were having a baby.’
‘But I thought…’ Biddy says. Then she realises that Mum was never sick and dying. And it wasn’t her fault. So she doesn’t have to give up sucking her thumb. She undoes her fist and releases her sucking thumb. And when she leans on the bed, she holds her sucking thumb right next to her mouth.
Then ‘Brigid!’ Dad calls from the door. ‘Brigid Lucy!’
‘Go on, darling,’ Mum says. ‘You’d better go and help Dad with Matilda and little Ellen.’
Dad doesn’t tell Biddy off. He just takes her hand and they go back to sit on the chairs next to Matilda and little Ellen. They are still fast asleep.
Biddy climbs up next to Dad and gives him a hug. ‘Don’t worry, Dad. I think this baby will be much better than the last one,’ she tells him. ‘At least this time it’s a boy one. That’s a difference.’
Dad laughs and hugs her.
‘Can we call him Isolde, Dad?’ she asks then changes her mind. ‘No, Isolde is a girl’s name. What about Isaac? Then he could be a knight. Sir Isaac Augustus.’
And we did. We called him Wilfred Isaac Augustus Lucy.
Me and Biddy did miss out on going to the Botanic Gardens. But that was okay because Granny stayed with us for ages and ages and took me and Biddy and Matilda to the movies. Me and Biddy and Matilda are kind of friends now because we are the big girls. And it is little Ellen who is the Miss Getting-All-The-Attention little girl and baby Wilfred Isaac who is the Crybaby. So the spell did work for Matilda. And I suppose it did work for me and Biddy too because Biddy didn’t get a best human girlfriend. Me and her just lived happily ever after.
Epilogue
Except one day when we visit Mum and baby Wilfred Isaac Augustus at the hospital there is another family visiting their new baby. And that family has a girl the same age as Biddy.
They smile at each other. Her name is Ingrid. She has long hair. But she doesn’t have a cat. Biddy wants her to be her forever best friend. And she nearly was. But guess what?
Ingrid invites me and Biddy to come to the zoo with her. Well, she just invites Biddy but I come too. We have the best fun. We eat chocolates and ice-creams. Ingrid’s mum doesn’t know about preservatives or food colouring.
And me and Biddy and Ingrid run faster than the lion. And do tricks with a huge orangutan. And we feed an armadillo inside the cage! And guess what? Ingrid’s mum has the loudest scream ever. Nearly louder than a slivigool’s. But now, the most splendiferous, fantasmagorical thing in the whole universe is happening. See over there, that big and beautiful lake with a giant fast-asleep-but-not-really crocodile lying on the shore. Well, me and Biddy are going to… OOPS … I’m not allowed to tell anyone.
No, I can’t. We will get into trouble.
Okay… maybe later. Sorry, this book is full.
So see you later.
Bye!
Magical creatures
Fillikizard dragons—danger rating— tremendously acutely high
Fillikizard dragons are small crocodile-like creatures that have a frill of armour around their necks. They are very powerful hunters. Their back legs spin around like wheels, so they can run terribly fast. They have such huge mouths, they can eat other creatures twice their size. Never try to capture a fillikizard dragon, because they can kill you dead with a blast of their foul breaths from three metres away. If you are too big for them to swallow up, they will slobber all over you and you will stink forever.
Nefariouses—danger rating—tremendously acutely high
Nefariouses are beautiful ancient female beings made entirely of grumpy-andannoyedness. They live inside the bark of trees. They like absolute silence, so they can make up their evil poems and spells in peace. They have been known to eat noisy children. If you find yourself in a quiet place, never, ever make noise just for fun. The nefarious who made that silence will gobble you up dead.
Slivigools—danger rating—tremendously
Slivigools are extremely beautiful and fun-loving beings. They have special nostrils that allow them to breathe underwater and in the air. They love to study their reflections in the water, to comb their long hair, and to play among the pink, waving roots of paperbark trees. But they are very private and hate anyone looking at them. If you stare at them they will scream an ear-piercing scream until they knock you out, and then they will wrap their hair
around your legs and drown you to death.
Tristeelias—danger rating—very low
Tristeelias are teeny little creatures with huge sharp teeth and great big eyes so they can see in the dark. They are the saddest creatures in the world. They live in old cars and tyres that humans have abandoned in the Great Bushland. Their job is to chew them up and swallow them to make them disappear. Tyres and cars taste disgusting and make them sick. And they never have any fun ever.
Scoriaks—danger rating—very high
Scoriaks are big, heavy, male creatures that live inside rocks. They are so old that they came into being before the earth began. Their favourite hobbies are sleeping and thinking. If you make a noise and wake them up, they will growl and rumble, and split the earth open. Then they will swallow you whole. Or, if they are too lazy to split the earth open, they will turn you into a piece of infinity with just one look of their evil eyes. Be extremely careful when you move rocks around. Sit beside the rocks first to see if you can hear a soft snore. If you can, back away very quietly and go and find another rock to move.
Magical swearwords
Cat-a-clys-mic Cat-astro-phe!
Fan-tas-mag-or-ical
Magical spell words
Garrlim.
Gooolim.
Ambidextrous.
Pyrotechnics.
Acknowledgements
To the Tasmanian Writers’ Centre, for giving me a residency in their wonderful Hobart studio where, trying to blend in with this old world and beautiful city, my little imp got me into lots of delicious trouble. To Libby and Margrete, for generously inviting me to join their table, which led to our friendship and working relationship. And, most importantly, to my niece, Brigid Tony Izod, who inspired the character Brigid Lucy.
Brigid Lucy Needs A Best Friend Page 4