by Beth Bracken
Soli
When I see the man in the cell, I’m glad I have a guard.
“Keep away from her,” Jonn warns after he throws open the heavy door.
The man is huge, like a tree. His hair is a shock of black. His eyes are black, too.
If the rest of his people look like him, I can see why they are called the Crows.
“So, this is the little princess?” the man says slowly, looking me up and down.
I draw myself up as tall as I can. “I am Soli.”
“Mikael,” the man says. “Of the Crows. I heard that you broke Calandra’s spell, so I’ve come to bring you to our people. Or else the battle begins.”
I look at Jonn. His face is still.
Part of me thinks he wants me to go. To be rid of me.
Part of me thinks he doesn’t want me to be the queen.
“I won’t go with you,” I say.
The man—Mikael—laughs.
“You won’t go with me? Then we are at war,” he says. “And I hope you’re ready to become the leader of a failed army.”
“I thought we were already at war,” I mutter.
Mikael shrugs. “In a way,” he says. “But I suppose you don’t know anything about it. Or anything about the people you’re leading into battle. Isn’t that true?”
“I know enough,” I say, but he just laughs.
There is a tiny window set up high in the wall. Through it, I hear someone running toward the palace.
Jonn is instantly alert.
He stands straight, listening.
“That won’t be my people attacking, if you’re concerned,” Mikael says. “We are fast, but we are not that fast.”
Then he looks at me. “But it will be soon,” he says. “And you won’t be ready.”
“You know nothing about me,” I say.
He laughs again. “I know your name,” he tells me. “I know your age. I know your mother, and I knew your grandmother. I know how you came here. I know where you live.”
Outside, the footsteps are louder.
“And,” Mikael says calmly, “I know you’ve sent your friends to the Ladybirds. And princess? I know how to find them.”
Lucy
I can hardly see.
The castle fades behind us, along with my vision, as Caro and Kheelan lead Calandra and me through the woods.
Kheelan whispers, “Are you all right?” His arm tightens around me.
“No,” I say. I’m starting to lose myself to the sickness.
“I think you have a fever,” he says, and I feel him slow. “Caro, wait. Something’s wrong with Lucy.”
I hear her impatient sigh.
“We haven’t got much time,” she says. “We have to hurry to the Ladybirds.”
“If we lose her, we have no time,” he counters, and we finally stop.
They help me sit against a tree trunk. They lift a flask to my mouth and I drink: it’s not the cold water I want, but sweet, warm cider. It will do.
Then Kheelan’s strong arms lift me up again. “We have to keep moving,” he says.
“I’m thirsty too,” Queen Calandra mutters as we walk. I can’t see at all, really—just shapes of light and dark—but I can tell she’s near me.
“Too bad,” Caro says. “Come on.”
I stop walking. “No,” I say. “Give her something to drink.”
Caro laughs. “What? Why would I?”
“You were the one defending her before,” Kheelan mutters.
“She’s sick too,” I say. “Give her something too. If I get cider, so does she.”
I can almost hear Caro roll her eyes.
“Fine,” she says. “Here.”
Two seconds later, we’re moving again. The queen is next to me. “Thank you,” she whispers.
“Stop talking,” Caro says.
I don’t really understand why she’s suddenly being so cruel. Wasn’t she the one defending Calandra? Hasn’t she been taking care of her since Soli and I left the faerieground?
And shouldn’t we try to make the queen feel better, the way they’re trying to take care of me? Why has Caro’s mood suddenly changed?
“Don’t worry, Lucy,” Kheelan whispers, his face close to mine so that I can almost see it. “This will be over soon. We’re almost there. And I promise, the Ladybirds will heal you.”
Caro says something, but I can’t hear her. My headache is too shrill. I hear her laugh, though.
“I don’t trust her,” Kheelan whispers.
I don’t know if he means Calandra or Caro.
“I don’t trust her either,” I whisper back, but it comes out mostly a moan.
Kheelan tightens his grip on my waist.
We continue on through the forest toward the Ladybirds. My only hope.
Soli
I leave the prison cell and slam the door.
Jonn opens the door, walks out, and calmly closes it again.
“You must decide what to do with the Crow messenger,” Jonn says. “We can’t keep him here. He has committed no crime.”
“I know,” I say. “I just had to get out of there.”
The prison stands behind me with Mikael, the Crow messenger, trapped inside.
The air in there.
It was thick, as though I were breathing in dust from bones.
“You can choose to keep him here,” he says. “But I must warn you. The Crows do not need to be together to communicate.”
“What do you mean?” I ask.
“What I mean is—” He pauses, as though looking for the right word. “What I mean is that whatever Mikael sees, they all see.”
So they have all seen me.
They have seen the newest queen.
They have seen how I shake, they have seen me afraid.
They saw me rush out of the cell, afraid and overwhelmed.
And they have seen Lucy, I suppose, somehow.
“Is that how he knew that I sent Lucy and—“ I don’t know what to call her. “And Calandra. Is that how he knew I sent them to the Ladybirds?”
He shrugs.
“The Crows have eyes everywhere,” he says. “There must be one stationed in the forest. Or there might be a spy here, someone who crept in without our knowing. It happens. We aren’t strong.”
“Should I be worried about that?” I say. “I mean—is that my job, to find the spy?”
Jonn rests a calm hand on my shoulder. “Queen Soli,” he says, smiling. “Your job is not to lead the army. We will help you. You aren’t here alone.”
But if the Crows can see me, I need to look strong. I need to look like I could lead an army.
Even though I don’t know the first thing about war.
Still, I know other things.
I feel in my bones that this is my home.
Like it or not, this is where I’m meant to be.
And I am meant to be the queen.
And so I must lead.
But as I square my shoulders, ready to march in there and show him what I’ve got, the air changes.
The sound of flapping wings comes from inside the locked cell.
The flapping becomes loud and overwhelming. It sounds like hundreds of birds inside the stone cell.
“Open this door,” I tell Jonn.
He does, and we rush in.
There are no birds in the room. Only feathers.
And no sign of Mikael.
I stare into the empty cell.
Mikael knows about my friends fleeing the castle. He knows where they are headed.
He knows about my mother.
He knows how to take them from me.
Susan
Dear Soli,
You have just joined our family. Today was your first day here wit
h us in Mearston.
Your father and I don’t know very much about you yet. But you feel like the perfect fit for us. You felt like part of our family from the second you walked in the door.
I have never met such a beautiful little girl. Your long, dark hair, your sparkling eyes. Your wide smile. I feel so lucky to be your new mother.
You love to sing, and dance.
You’re a little shy, but only for a minute.
I don’t know anything about your past.
But I know a little bit about your future.
Your future will be safe. You will be kept safe here with me.
I wonder about the mother who gave birth to you. It must have been so hard for her to let you go.
I know she loved you. You’re a happy girl. You aren’t a girl who was treated badly or made to be sad all of the time. I think there must have been some other kind of reason that your mother couldn’t keep you.
We will probably never know the real reasons. But it wasn’t because she didn’t love you. I know that for sure.
I think she sang to you. You love to sing. I know that already.
And you love hugs. As soon as we met, you ran to me for a hug.
As soon as I touched you, I knew I was meant to be your mother.
Soli, I’m going to make you some promises.
You will never be hungry.
You will be warm.
You will be full and warm and safe.
Your father and I will take care of you every second of every day.
When it comes time for you to leave us, we will let you. Our job is to get you ready for the world. But whenever you need to come back, we will be here.
I think of myself like a mother bird. I will keep you safe and make sure you’re never hungry. And I will teach you to fly. And when you’ve learned, I’ll know that my job is done.
But this nest will always be open to you.
I have always wished for a daughter.
I am so glad that you’re mine.
Love,
Mom
Lucy
I lose my sight completely just as we begin to smell the smoke coming from the Ladybird camp.
“It’s red?” Caro asks. “Why?”
“Something about the wood they burn,” Kheelan responds, laughing. “Or the spells. I have no idea. Have you never been here before?”
“No,” Caro says. “I’ve heard of them, of course, but never been here.”
“They’re interesting women,” Kheelan says.
It’s scary, to not have sight. All I can do now is listen. It’s like being wrapped in a blanket of sound. I wonder if Calandra is feeling the same thing.
As we walk, I cling tighter to Kheelan’s arm. Another person reaches out and touches me, grabbing my hand. I assume it’s Caro until I hear her voice from farther away.
Calandra’s fingers wrap around mine.
At first, I’m afraid. This woman, after all, is a witch, or something like it. She’s probably had people killed. She killed Soli’s real father, and maybe even more. She brought the kingdom into ruin.
But her grip is firm and makes me feel safe.
Voices surround us once we reach the Ladybirds, and Calandra lets go of me. I think she’s taken away, led somewhere else. Kheelan never leaves my side as I am brought inside somewhere and helped to lie down.
Gentle hands open my mouth and pour in a sweet, thin liquid. After I swallow, I say, “What was that?” But even as I speak, my open eyes begin to let in light, and soon I can see again.
Kheelan shrugs. “Never ask a Ladybird how she does it,” he says, giving me a wink. “I’m just glad you can see again. That was a little scary.”
I look around. I’m in a huge tent made of canvas or thick cotton. Kheelan and I are alone. A fire burns in the center of the room, letting the smoke out a hole in the center of the tent’s roof.
“Do you think Soli is okay?” I ask.
“I don’t know,” Kheelan says, frowning. “I wish I’d stayed with her.”
“Soledad is perfectly fine,” an old lady says, walking into the tent. She’s dressed all in red.
“Hello, Motherbird,” Kheelan says. He rises to his feet and bows.
“How is your sight, Lucy?” she asks.
I blink a few times. “It seems like it’s back to normal,” I say.
She shakes her head. “That won’t last, I’m sorry to say,” she says, her voice gentle. “The drink I gave you only brings back sight for a few minutes.” And even as she says it, I notice the clouds around the edges of my eyes.
Soli
“Princess,” Jonn says, pointing into the air. “The red smoke.”
The Ladybird camp.
It feels like a year since I was there with Kheelan, when really it was just a few days ago.
“Do you think Kheelan and Lucy have made it there already?” I ask.
He nods. “Without a doubt,” he says. “Kheelan of Roseland is one of our fastest and best.”
“What is Roseland, anyway?” I ask. “He introduced himself like that to the Ladybirds when he brought me to meet them the first time.”
A little laugh escapes Jonn.
“Oh, he did, did he?” He shakes his head. “Yes, I suppose he would.”
“Do you know him well?” I ask.
He laughs again. “Well enough,” he says. “Once a boy reaches a certain age, however, he stops telling his father everything.”
I stop. “You’re his father?”
And my cheeks heat up, when I think of the way Kheelan kissed me, the way our palms pressed against each other.
“The one and only,” Jonn says. “But you asked about Roseland. It doesn’t exist anymore. You see, it’s the old name for the kingdom. She changed it, your mother.”
“I hope you know I’m not like—” I begin.
Jonn smiles. “I know you’re not like her,” he says. “When Kheelan said he was from Roseland, he meant he belonged to the people who believed the queen should be overthrown.”
“Do you introduce yourself like that?” I ask. “Are you Jonn of Roseland?”
He shakes his head and is silent for a moment.
Then he says, “I work for the queen.”
He points up at the sky again.
The red smoke is closer, and I can smell it.
“We are almost there.”
Then he stops, tilts one ear to the sky.
Places his hand on the hilt of his sword.
And speaks one word: “Run.”
The sky is crowded with black birds. They swarm and dive as Jonn and I run through the forest.
“Can’t we just cast a spell or something?” I say, gasping for breath. “Can’t we just use magic?”
When he looks back at me, his sneer tells me how stupid I am.
“No,” he says. “Be realistic. That isn’t how it works here.”
I feel my face burning.
“I didn’t know,” I say, and his face is kind again.
“I know. I’m sorry.” He adds, “You aren’t the first queen who didn’t know our ways.”
I know he means Calandra.
Jonn points ahead. The birds bounce back from a wall of the red smoke. “The birds can’t go in,” he says.
“But they’ll know we’re here,” I say.
“They know anyway.” And he grasps my hand and pulls me into the smoke and into the Ladybird camp.
Lucy
We hear the commotion outside, and Kheelan stands.
My vision is blurry, but I see the hope in his eyes. Hoping Soli has come.
Motherbird rests a calm hand on my arm. “You must wait here,” she says. “It is Soledad, but I need to speak to her alone.” She tilts her head at Kheelan. “Wait here with Lucy.”
Then she leaves.
Kheelan sighs, and sits. My vision keeps fading.
It’s a horrible thing to say, but I’m not used to being the second-choice girl.
I’m definitely not used to being the one who’s a problem, the sick one, the one weighing everyone else down.
I am not used to not being the queen.
And now I see how silly and stupid I was—am—for ever thinking I was a queen. Compared to Soli, the real daughter of a real queen and a real king in a real kingdom? Soli, the half-faerie I thought was just a girl like me?
I see, too, the real love that Kheelan has for her. And for a minute, I want to steal it away.
“Are you Soli’s boyfriend now?” I ask.
“We wouldn’t use that word,” he says. “But I know what you mean, and I don’t know.”
“Why not?” I ask.
He opens his mouth, but before he can speak, Soli rushes in.
She comes straight to my side. “Are you okay?” she asks, tumbling down next to me.
“I’m going blind,” I say simply.
She hugs me, and I smell that familiar Soli smell—like mint and earth and dew. “I’ll figure out a way to make it better,” she says.
But Motherbird has followed her in. “I’m afraid there is no way,” she says, leaning down beside me and placing a cool hand on my head. “Lucy will go blind, and then she will die.”
Soli
I follow Motherbird into another tent.
“This doesn’t make sense,” I say. “She was here with me the whole time—longer than me, actually—and she didn’t get sick.”
“That’s true,” Motherbird says. She rubs her forehead. “It’s complicated, and it’s a story you’re not ready for. It’s long. Many years old, and hard to tell.”
“Then just tell me the important part,” I say. “Tell me what I need to know now to save Lucy.”
She takes a deep breath.
“I’m not sure you’re ready,” she says.
“It doesn’t matter if I’m ready,” I tell her. “This is happening now. You need to tell me.”