“Morning Icy,” he said, his voice still thick with sleep.
“Good morning,” I said, smiling and nuzzling his neck while his arms tightened a little more around me. “Well, good morning to you, too!” I chuckled when I felt his lower body react to my movements. He grinned and kissed the tip of my nose.
“Sorry ‘bout that; it’s been a while since I woke up with a woman in my bed,” he said, not sounding apologetic at all.
I chuckled and kissed his jaw, moving slowly to his mouth where I lingered a little, feeling his body respond as the kiss deepened.
“I think I’d better get out of bed now,” he said, pulling back and taking a deep breath. “I should take a cold shower and get dressed before this gets out of control.”
“Or maybe you could stay here, get undressed and eventually have a shower,” I teased, raking my hand through his hair and pulling his face close to mine. “But only when I’m done with you,” I whispered in his ear, and he stared at me wide-eyed, studying my face to see if I was joking. “Come on, Colin. Don’t act all shy now; I can feel you want it, too.”
He chuckled and shook his head, kissing my brow and then my lips.
“I forgot you can feel me now,” he said with a grin, and I raised an eyebrow in mock horror.
“Why, has this happened before?”
“Well, let’s say you’ve often had this effect on me, but I always got away with it because you couldn’t feel it.”
I laughed and rolled him onto his back, straddling him; I wanted to laugh at the shocked expression on his face, but I felt a bit embarrassed immediately afterwards.
I’d never been an expert at this kind of thing. I’d only made love to one guy before, my boyfriend when I was in college, and even then it had never been that exciting—not like it was now with Colin. I didn’t know where all this boldness was coming from, but I had to admit, I liked it.
“Then why don’t we make up for lost time?” I said suggestively, and I saw a grin spread across his face. Before I could say anything further he’d rolled me onto my back and was pinning me down on the mattress, staring me in the eye with a provocative look. He was propped on his hands, and I couldn’t help but trail my fingers along his well-defined chest. Even with his t-shirt on I could feel every single muscle in his body, and I couldn’t wait to trace my fingers along his skin. I felt heat spread all over my body and, with one hand on the back of his neck, I pulled his mouth down toward mine.
He stopped kissing me just when it became more passionate with each passing second, and I took advantage of the sudden break to catch my breath.
“Are you sure you wanna do this, Icy?”
I loved it when he called me Icy. All my life I’d been just Kathy, then ever since the accident I’d gotten used to being called Kathleen by all the people in the hospital. But Icy was something he’d created, and it made me feel special because it was something that was ours only. And yes, I wanted it. I wanted him, I was sure.
“Thanks for being such a gentleman, but if you’re worried about deflowering me you’re about three years too late, Colin. I appreciate your concern, though.” I giggled when he pouted and stroked his cheek, feeling the hint of stubble under my fingers. I found it extremely sexy. “I’ve never been surer in my life. I want all this. I want to feel you as close as humanly possible.”
“What was his name?” he asked out of the blue, and I raised an eyebrow. “The name of the guy I should compete with.”
I rolled my eyes. “It wasn’t all that good, don’t worry. He’d be no competition. However,” I added, when I saw him staring at me with a pout, “his name was Dean O’Sullivan. Are you happy now?”
He grinned and I grabbed his t-shirt to pull him down toward me again. He kissed me, stroking my hair with both of his hands, until he pulled back abruptly.
“If we’re going through with it, I’d better go find a pharmacy,” he said, and I raised an eyebrow questioningly. “Protection?” he suggested, and I blushed hard, causing him to laugh.
“I thought you’d have stock in your nightstand,” I said casually, trying to light the tension I was feeling and he shook his head, giving me one of his gorgeous smiles.
“It’s been a while since I’ve had a girl in my room,” he said matter-of-factly and kissed my brow, tucking a lock of hair behind my ear. “I don’t really take women home every other day. Only a few have seen my bedroom, and you’re definitely the most special girl I’ve had in my bed, babe.”
He jumped out of bed, slipped on his jeans and bent down to kiss me.
“I’ll be right back; wait for me.”
“I’ll try not to fall asleep,” I said nonchalantly, as if anticipation wasn’t burning me up inside.
“Don’t worry if you do; I know how to wake you.”
He winked and I blushed, pulling the duvet over my head. He laughed and a moment later he was gone.
Chapter Forty
Colin
June 24, 2012
I knew the pharmacy around the corner was open on Sundays so I walked as fast as I could and came back to my apartment less than fifteen minutes later. When I walked in and heard her calling me from the bathroom, I thought she was teasing; but when I saw her lying on the tiled floor with only her pajamas top on, my blood went cold. I dropped down next to her and she propped herself up on her elbows. It was only when I saw her smiling at me I could finally breathe.
“Are you hurt?” I asked, instinctively taking her in my arms. She shook her head and wrapped her arms around my neck like she was so used to doing. I’d definitely be missing all this taking her into my arms now she could walk again.
“I’m fine. I just…I took a shower but it seems my legs are still too weak. I was trying to put on my pants when I tripped and pulled everything down with me. Sorry about the mess.” She nodded toward the shower curtain that dangled from the railing, hanging on to only a couple of rings.
I kissed the tip of her nose, reassuring her it was fine and I could deal with that later.
She nuzzled my neck as I stood up. “Just help me back into bed and I’m all yours,” she said with a naughty grin.
I laughed and felt the tension disappear; she was just fine. I’d become protective of her, but as I laid her gently down on the mattress and her fists grabbed the front of my jacket, bringing me down with her, I knew I could stop worrying.
“Easy, Icy,” I chided, and she laughed. I loved her more than I’d ever thought I’d be able to love anyone.
I kicked off my shoes and, when she rolled over away from me, I jumped on the bed, reaching out for her. I grabbed her hand and pulled her close. She pretended to resist but laughed all the while, and my heart sped in anticipation. Ever since we’d become a couple, I’d also come to realize our relationship would never be physically complete. But my love for her was much more important than anything else, and I’d convinced myself it didn’t matter: as long as I could be with her, I didn’t care about sex.
Now though, thinking of what was just about to happen made my heart race. I couldn’t believe how much more beautiful she looked today. I could spend all day just staring into her eyes in fascination. She was the most perfect creature I’d ever come across and I never wanted to let her go.
Ever.
She gave me one of those looks that shot arrows to my stomach and I felt an immediate reaction to her provocation, which she noticed.
“Easy, Colin,” she said, mimicking my words. “We’re not in a hurry, are we?”
She raised an eyebrow and I chuckled, feeling like a teenager all over again. I’d wanted to look like an experienced man, but one look at her and I felt as if this was my first time. I wanted her so much I was afraid I’d screw it all up.
“You have a rather unusual effect on me, Icy,” I said, kissing the tip of her nose, and she smiled.
“So have you,” she whispered, brushing her lips on mine and gently biting my bottom one. It was all it took to set me off, to make my hormones go wild and my
blood heat up. I kissed her hungrily, like I’d never kissed her before. All I wanted was to rip her clothes off and feel every inch of her skin on mine, but I also wanted to do this right because Kathleen deserved much more than hot, wild sex—at least for our first time together. I was sure there’d be plenty of time for the other kind in the near future, but I didn’t want to spoil this moment because I couldn’t control myself.
She responded eagerly to my kisses, and her hands quickly removed my denim jacket, inching under my t-shirt and causing me to shudder. Man, I’d longed for months to feel her touch me like this, and now it was real, it was like a dream I didn’t want to end.
She removed my t-shirt and ran her hands up and down my back while I moved from her lips to her neck, and down to her collar-bone. My hand trailed down toward her waist and inched under her pajama top, going up toward her breast. She gasped when I found it, and a moment later she was removing the top before I’d even managed to help her.
Okay, maybe she didn’t want to take it slow like I’d imagined.
She lay down again and I traced the contours of her beautiful face with my fingers before claiming her lips in a breathtaking kiss. I felt so high I barely noticed we’d started taking our clothes off; when she reached out for the packet of condoms on the nightstand and handed it to me with a grin I realized how natural it felt to be naked in her arms. It was just…right.
Kathleen’s cheeks were flushed, her bangs tousled, her silky hair splayed out on the pillow, and she was looking at me with a mixture of passion, anticipation, innocence and love. I couldn’t find words to describe how I felt, how perfect she appeared—but when she cleared her throat and brought me back from my thoughts I realized I’d been staring at her like an idiot, the packet still in her hand.
“You really have an unusual effect on me, babe,” I said, still mesmerized by the look in her eyes, and she chuckled. I settled my body against hers and feasted my eyes on her for another few seconds, searching her face for any signs of doubts or insecurity. When she pulled my face down toward hers and kissed me, I knew she was telling me the waiting was up.
If I hadn’t known better, I would have thought I’d died and gone to Heaven. My heart was bursting in my chest and my stomach had been attacked by a swarm of butterflies—no, giant moths.
If our first kiss had made me feel dizzy, this was like vodka going straight to the head. I couldn’t think, I couldn’t breathe: I never wanted this to be over. It was the most amazing thing I’d ever experienced and I knew it was because I loved her, with all my heart and soul.
We moved simultaneously, our breaths coming fast, and I found myself thinking how perfectly our bodies fit. I kissed every inch of her, tasting the sweet flavor of her lotion. She tasted like wild berries; I almost wanted to eat her. I bit her playfully on the neck once, pretending I was a vampire, and she laughed, telling me as long as it meant she got to be with me forever she didn’t mind becoming a vampire herself.
I chuckled, realizing I’d never laughed during sex before, and it only proved what I already knew: being with Kathleen was the most amazing thing that had ever happened to me.
When a wave of pleasure overwhelmed us both, I let myself collapse onto her, hiding my face in her hair while she ran her fingers along my spine. I knew I would never in my life need anyone else but this amazing woman who made me walk on air with every kiss, every touch and every single breath.
Chapter Forty-one
Kathleen
June 24, 2012
When my ex and I made love in the past, I’d wondered why people made so much fuss about it. It was good—enjoyable was the exact word I’d used at the time—but it definitely wasn’t the greatest experience of my life.
After making love to Colin I understood what it was all about. I would never in my life have thought it could be anything close to this. My body seemed to be on fire the minute his fingers touched my bare skin. I was only now starting to cool down, although lying in his arms with my head on his bare chest didn’t help. I’d thought my heart was going to explode and I knew that I would never in my life want anyone but him.
He had been sweet, romantic, passionate, attentive to my every need, and he even managed to make us both laugh; I had definitely never laughed with my ex, and it made it even more special because it mirrored the way our relationship was.
Now I was enjoying lying in his arms, his hand brushing my arm and my fingers tracing the muscles on his chest. When I could finally breathe properly again I looked up and kissed his chin; he smiled and said he loved me and, for the first time, I knew I could finally open my heart to him.
“I love you, too,” I whispered. His eyes widened in surprise and he smiled sweetly, squeezing my shoulder a little.
“You’ve never said it before; I must’ve been really good, then,” he said, with a naughty grin. I slapped his chest lightly, looking at him with a scowl, and his smile grew broader. “Maybe I should call that O’Sullivan kid and teach him a thing or two.”
I laughed. “Yes, maybe you should; he might find it useful.”
He looked down at me and pinched my chin, lifting it up toward him so he could kiss me. When I pulled back I trailed my hand up and down his chest stopping just above his heart, on a tattoo I hadn’t noticed when he’d first removed his t-shirt. I’d been all caught up in the heat of the moment and couldn’t see anything but his gorgeous ocean blue eyes boring into mine.
It was a flower bud surrounded by thorns and coming out of a broken heart with initials on each shard. A small pool was underneath the heart with a drop falling into it.
“I never knew you had a tattoo,” I said, propping myself up on my right elbow and tracing the lines of the dark ink pattern on his chest with my finger.
“You’ve never seen me naked before,” he said matter-of-factly, and I couldn’t help but laugh at his statement. He had a point.
“What I meant is, I didn’t think you were a tattoo kind of guy,” I said, making him chuckle.
“Why, because I don’t ride a Harley or wear leather pants?” I laughed, and he placed a soft kiss on my forehead. “It’s a family tattoo. The initials on the heart represent my parents: S for Sarah and J for James,” he said proudly, and his cheeks slightly colored. He’d never really talked about his parents before and I was glad he was finally starting to open up now. I was sure it had something to do with what I’d told him last night.
“And let me guess: this spring bud represents you, doesn’t it?” He nodded. “And the thorns?”
His eyes clouded, and I was afraid I’d touched a soft spot. “I had it done a week after my parents died; I wanted something that would keep their memory alive for the rest of my life. The pain was a bonus.”
I arched an eyebrow and he shrugged.
“I needed it, the pain, you know. And since I couldn’t just brand myself with an iron to get a reminder of why I was still alive while they weren’t, I thought a tattoo would do. Although they probably wouldn’t have approved I was in a sort of rebellious phase back then. The thorns sort of represent the pain I went through, how it stung me.”
I kept stroking his chest, feeling his heartbeat speed up a little after his confession. He’d never really told me much about his past, what happened after his parents died. He’d mentioned he’d been in denial and did some stupid things, but apart from that he didn’t seem to like talking about it much. It felt good to know he trusted me enough to tell me a little about it now.
“My parents were everything to me. We’d always been really close, and I didn’t care when my friends said I was a Mommy’s boy. I was proud of my parents and I wanted to carry them with me, on my skin, forever.”
“I don’t care if you were a Mommy’s boy,” I said, stroking his chest and placing small kisses on his tattoo. “Your parents did a great job with you, Colin. You are the most amazing man I’ve ever met.”
He grinned and waggled his eyebrows. “I wonder if your judgment hasn’t been clouded by what happened on
ly a few minutes ago,” he said and I couldn’t help but laugh.
“Hmm…I doubt your parents taught you how to seduce young women and get them into your bed,” I said with a naughty smile, and he batted his eyelashes innocently.
“Me? Seducing you? Ha!” he said, looking almost indignant. “If I remember well, I’d suggested stopping before things got out of control, but you forced me to…”
I cut him off with a kiss, and he giggled against my lips, rolling on top of me again.
I called David around noon when we finally decided we’d better get up and eat something. I was deliberately very cryptic about the real reason I needed him to pack some clothes and bring them over to me since I’d decided to stay a little longer in Dublin. I wanted to surprise him and let him see me get out of Colin’s car on my own two feet. I couldn’t wait to see his face.
It still took me a lot of effort to stand for longer than five minutes at a time. Declan had healed my soul, but my body still needed time to adjust to the new condition. Colin told me I should still use the wheelchair for a while, just until my muscles were strong enough to support me, but I refused to spend another minute in it. I definitely preferred walking around holding onto Colin’s strong biceps, or with his arm wrapped around my shoulder.
Now that I could stand next to him I realized how tall he really was; I was used to being around tall people, with Declan and David being five foot ten and five foot nine respectively, but as I stood next to him, my arm wrapped around his waist while he was frying bacon, his six foot build was intimidating but reassuring at the same time.
As if he could read my thoughts, he turned back and wrapped his free arm around me.
“You’re quite cute, you know?” he said with a lovely smile on his face. “You’re so petite I’m afraid I’d crush you if I squeezed you too hard.”
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