by Caragh Bell
Colin grasped Lydia’s hand. ‘For what it’s worth, you look really hot tonight,’ he whispered. ‘Thank God,’ he added.
She couldn’t speak. His voice resonated in her ears. It made her feel warm inside. She wanted to hear it again. She wanted to see him, to touch him, to run her fingers through his golden hair. All the things she had taken for granted when they were together. Gulping back her wine, she didn’t dare look at Samantha. Craig looked bewildered until the penny dropped.
‘Oh shit!’ he said, slapping his forehead with his hand. ‘I realise now. Damn. I’m a bit pissed, lads – sorry.’
‘It doesn’t matter,’ said Val soothingly. ‘It’s all in the past now. We’re adults – let’s just get on with our lives. He’ll get over it.’
‘Yeah,’ agreed Samantha. ‘He’s getting married. It was years ago. Just forget it.’
‘Who’s making a big deal?’ said Colin brightly. ‘Not us.’ He squeezed Lydia’s hand. ‘Lyd is fine, absolutely fine. Anyway, he was the one who hung up on Craig. He was the one who freaked out.’
Lydia couldn’t speak. Colin was right. Luca’s reaction was strange. Did he hate her that much? That he couldn’t bear to look at her? She felt a pain in her chest. It hurt her to think that. It made her heart sore.
‘I think it’s home time,’ said Val, getting to his feet. ‘Sam, thanks for a fabulous meal. It was truly gorgeous.’
She kissed him lightly on the cheek. ‘You’re welcome. Thanks a million for coming.’ He beckoned at Colin to make a move.
Lydia pulled herself together. ‘Thanks, Sam. The meal was amazing.’ She hugged her friend tightly. ‘I’m glad all the hen stuff has been approved. Not long now!’
Samantha hugged her back. ‘I’m really looking forward to it,’ she said, kissing her cheek. ‘See you tomorrow.’
They headed out into the night. The moon shone full and bright in the sky. She could hear the river babbling as they walked past. Colin and Val walked ahead and let her trail behind. They knew she was in no mood to talk.
He had obviously been shocked to see her. He didn’t even greet the others. Instead, he pretty much hung up on Craig. Oh, why didn’t she move away before he saw her? She had planned it all so differently. When she imagined their first meeting, she was in control. Not a red-faced mess, unable to meet his eyes.
Damn, she thought, biting her lip in frustration.
Luca felt shell-shocked. What the hell was she doing there anyway? He definitely didn’t expect that.
‘Luca, baby? Is Sam ready?’ Charlotte arrived in to the room with a plastic bag concealing what he figured was the veil.
‘She wasn’t there, babe,’ he said mechanically.
‘Oh.’ She bit her lip in disappointment. ‘She was planning on getting a similar lace so I wanted to talk with her.’
‘Tomorrow?’ he suggested, his head spinning.
‘I guess.’
Luca took her elbow and steered her in the direction of the door. ‘Fix me a cup of coffee?’ he asked, giving her his heart-breaking smile. ‘I’ve got to work late and I need some stimulation.’
‘Sure, honey.’ She went on her tip-toes and kissed his nose. ‘No sugar.’
‘You got it.’
The door banged shut.
Luca walked over to the window and stared at the passing traffic below.
Lydia.
She looked exactly the same.
Her long hair still fell around her face. She looked in great shape, too. He was half hoping that she would have put on pounds and cut off her mane of hair. He really wanted her to be awful so that he wouldn’t be attracted to her.
No such luck.
She looked absolutely gorgeous.
With supreme effort, he turned around, just as Charlotte arrived back with a steaming mug of coffee.
‘I got you an Oreo as a treat.’ She beamed at him. ‘You have been so good lately, what with cutting out beer.’
He didn’t quite meet her eyes. ‘Sure, I have been really good. No beer at all.’
‘I’ll call Sam tomorrow then.’ Her big blue eyes looked at him innocently and he immediately felt guilty for even giving Lydia a second thought.
He nodded and pulled her into his arms. ‘I love you, Char.’
She snuggled close to his chest. ‘I love you too.’
Chapter 19
Samantha wiped the board clean. She had only one class left: Spanish with a large group of sixteen-year-olds. She sighed and checked her roll book. She had planned to start the future tense with them, but then had decided against it. It was too late in the day and they would be exhausted. Better to do grammar when their minds were fresh.
Checking her watch, she wearily got to her feet. Craig wanted to meet later at the cinema. He was dying to see the new Bond movie, but she really wasn’t in the mood. May madness was gripping the staffroom a week early. Everyone was stressed, making out summer exams and sorting out booklists for next year. She hated this time of year; tensions ran high and more often than not there were heated arguments between departments.
The hen party was only a week away. She couldn’t wait. Lydia had been wonderful, booking the hotel and the restaurant. She wondered what forfeits she would have to perform. She remembered Sarah’s hen in Cork. There had been a list of dares that the bride-to-be had to tick off a list. To her surprise, Sarah had been a great sport about it and had completed the whole lot. She had even swapped T-shirts with a random guy in a pub. No one had expected her to do it, which made it even funnier.
She had invited Sarah to the hen night, but she had declined. Baby Seán was too demanding and she was nervous about leaving him alone with Andy.
Sam giggled. Poor Andy.
Molly was coming, as was Helen and Sandra. Laura was flying in to Dublin for the weekend and Colin had chosen the hen over the stag. No one had blinked an eye. Colin would feel more at home amongst the ladies and plastic willies.
After much deliberation, she had invited Charlotte to the hen party. She liked her and they were in contact a lot about wedding things. It was better to be normal about the whole affair; she was coming to the wedding after all.
Charlotte had emailed back almost immediately saying that she couldn’t make it. There was some big case she was working on that she couldn’t leave. Samantha had let out a deep breath. Charlotte and Lydia could have gone either way. She suspected that they could be great friends, but she was also pretty sure that Luca would come between them. Charlotte didn’t know about Lydia’s affair with him and she hoped it would remain as such. No point creating hassle.
Val was going to Craig’s party. He was really excited about the motor-racing part. The stag consisted of a group of around fifteen. She heard that Luca’s best friend was coming over with him: some guy called Tyler. He sounded like good fun.
Lydia had been surprisingly upbeat when she told her about the hen/stag mix-up. Even though she had assured her that there was zero chance of them meeting the boys, she said she didn’t care. Ever since the night Luca had FaceTimed, she had pulled herself together. It was like an obstacle had been faced; the ice had been broken.
Samantha was relieved, there was no denying it. It was a strain to think that the two most important members of the wedding party were at each other’s throats. At least now she knew that she could count on Lydia to be mature and civil.
Despite all this, she had a niggling feeling. A sense of foreboding. Things weren’t over between those two. She could feel it.
The bell rang and students began to pile into the classroom. They had their big bags slung over their shoulders and a pained expression on their faces. Last class was always the worst of the day.
‘Miss, can I go to the toilet?’ Mary Leonard, a student in her class, was looking at her expectantly.
‘Sure, Mary. Just don’t be long.’ She smiled brightly.
Lydia pressed ‘send’ and sat back. She had just emailed her sample articles to Adam. After much deliberation and editing
, she had refined them to the best of her ability. Val and Colin had been positive; that had been the push she had needed to finally submit them. With a beating heart, she closed her laptop.
Prepare for the worst, she told herself sternly. He’ll probably reject them.
Her mother always warned her to prepare for the worst so as to avoid disappointment. It was probably a very negative outlook but it definitely safe-guarded her from intense, sudden devastation when a plan didn’t work out.
‘Lyd! We’re about to watch that movie if you’re interested?’
‘Coming!’
Colin was already settled on the couch with a huge bowl of popcorn. Val had just opened a beer and was tucking into a bag of crisps.
‘It’s Dirty Dancing,’ announced Colin, munching loudly. ‘I absolutely adore Baby.’
Lydia flopped down on the couch next to him and stretched out her legs so that they rested on his lap.
‘Hey,’ he protested, trying to push them off. ‘You’re heavy.’
‘Ah, go on, ‘she pleaded. ‘I’ve been running around all day. Plus, I just emailed my stuff to Adam so I’m stressed.’
Val held up his beer. ‘Good luck!’ He clinked an imaginary glass as a toast.
‘I’ll need it,’ she admitted. ‘He probably won’t get my sense of humour at all. Especially as he seems devoid of a personality.’ She grabbed a fistful of popcorn and stuffed it into her mouth.
‘He’s actually really interesting,’ argued Colin. ‘He has a Master’s in History.’
‘So?’ said Val in a bored tone.
‘What I mean is, he knows about stuff. I had a fab conversation with him at the last Christmas party about the Renaissance.’
‘God save us!’ Lydia giggled.
‘Shhhh!’ Val put his finger to his lips. ‘The film is starting.’
‘Oh, Val!’ Colin put his hand on his heart. ‘Remember where we met? At dance class? This is so emotional.’
Val sighed. ‘I remember the pain. My toes are still deformed after all your stomping around.’
‘I was as good as Johnny,’ argued Colin. ‘I could seriously cha-cha.’
‘Shhhh!’ Lydia glared at him. ‘I don’t want to miss a moment.’
She pulled a cushion close to her chest and sighed contentedly. She was in a really good place. She enjoyed living with the two boys; they were the perfect hosts. Colin cooked like a professional and cleaned her room every weekend. He even did her washing and folded it neatly in little piles. She tried her best to keep things some way tidy, but there were times when she simply forgot.
One day, she had stepped out of the shower and it was so cold she rushed back to her room to get dressed. She heard Colin’s shriek a few minutes later.
‘Lydia! What the hell?’ He barged into her room holding her wet towels and her discarded underwear. ‘Towels I can handle, but I draw the line at knickers!’
Val was the solid rock in the background. He had a sound mind and a sensible outlook and she found herself going to him for advice more frequently than before. He didn’t sugar-coat things – that was what she liked the most. His unbiased view was refreshing and kept her grounded.
It was a couple of weeks since Luca’s phone call. She had been shook up for the first day, but then she had started to feel better. His reaction proved that he still had feelings for her. Sure, he didn’t like her, but anger was better than indifference. It soothed her ego a little. She often chided herself for fantasising about him, about his cool lips on hers, the way his strong body moulded perfectly to hers. He was engaged, for Christ’s sake. Off the market.
Still, she had her pride. She needed to feel like it mattered to him, that she could still rouse some feelings in him. It’s like they had unfinished business. She needed to talk to him and apologise. Then they could move on with their lives.
‘This week is bloody crawling,’ complained Joe, punching his code into the photocopier. ‘I can’t wait for the weekend.’
Lydia hugged herself in delight. ‘Me too! It’s the hen weekend. I’m going to ask Adam for a half day, so I’m out of here at one.’
‘Bitch,’ he muttered, smiling. ‘You have way more to look forward to than I do.’
‘I’ve a suitcase full of toys and pranks. She is going to be so embarrassed.’
‘Take loads of photos.’ He counted the sheets of paper in his hand and winked.
‘Oh, I will.’
She wandered out into the office and scanned the room. Everyone had their coffees and pastries. Colin was yapping on the phone about some photoshoot he had to organise for a local designer. Chloe was painting her nails and blowing on them. She scowled at Lydia as she walked past.
Adam hadn’t said a word about her articles. She gingerly knocked on his door, working up the courage to ask him for a half day. Her stomach did somersaults as she was sure that he would acknowledge her email too. She cleared her throat and opened her mouth to speak but he cut her off.
‘You can have the half day.’
She closed her mouth again. Was he psychic?
‘Colin is taking one too. Apparently you two are both off to a hen night?’
Lydia relaxed. ‘Yes, yes, we are. I’m chief bridesmaid so it’s pretty important.’
‘Is Colin bridesmaid too?’ There was a ghost of a smile on his face.
‘No. Not quite.’ She grinned.
‘Will that be all?’ He had already turned back to his computer.
‘I suppose.’ She left the room, deflated. She was sure that he would mention something. He must have hated them. She let out a sigh. So much for all the hard work and –
‘Lydia!’ Adam’s voice boomed out from his office.
She whipped around. ‘Yeah?’ She headed back in his direction and bumped into his tall frame as she rounded the doorway.
‘Careful,’ he said, steadying her.
‘Sorry,’ she apologised, flustered. ‘What can I get you?’
‘I like your stuff.’ He stared at her intently for a second. ‘It’s funny stuff.’
She was speechless.
‘Try and write one about your hen weekend: something humorous. Have it on my desk for Tuesday morning.’
Gently, he pushed her out the door and closed it.
She stood immobile for a minute, tears welling up in her eyes. She had done it. He liked her submissions. She suddenly felt ten feet tall. She was no longer the bimbo scurrying around making tea and coffee. She was a journalist.
Well, sort of.
‘Colin!’ she yelled. ‘Guess what?’
Mathis rang that evening.
‘Ça va, Leed?’
She was snuggled under her duvet, just about to go to sleep.
Odd that he was ringing so late …
‘Is everything okay?’ she asked in alarm.
‘Everything is perfect. I ’ave been offered a job in Bofinger.’
Lydia gasped. ‘Oh Mat, that’s wonderful! I’m so happy for you!’
Bofinger was a renowned restaurant near the Bastille, famed for its stained-glass ceiling. It was a tremendous coup to get a position there.
‘I am so ’appy.’ He sounded tipsy.
‘I’m proud of you,’ she said, really meaning it. She suddenly missed him terribly. His warmth, his hair, his ability to make her laugh. He was just so easy. Nothing fazed him or stressed him out. She suddenly really wanted to see him.
‘Can you fly over some weekend?’ she asked casually. ‘You could visit and I could show you Cork.’
There was a pause. Lydia felt her cheeks redden.
‘Do you really want me to come?’ He sounded unsure.
‘I do,’ she answered. ‘I really do,’ she added, meaning it. ‘Please, come soon.’
‘At zee moment, I am too busy to visit. Weekends are crazy at zee restaurant.’
‘Oh.’ She tried to mask her disappointment.
‘I would need to book some time off. When ees zee mariage?’ he asked.
‘About
six weeks away.’ She bit her lip.
Please don’t say that you can’t come.
‘I will come for zat. I will come for a big time.’
She exhaled slowly. She needed him there. She needed his laidback attitude and physical presence.
‘I miss you, Leed.’
‘I miss you too.’
He ended the call. She locked her phone and placed it on the bedside locker.
I need to be touched, she mused.
She was tired of being alone; she was fed up of being single. Suddenly, she was really looking forward to Mathis coming to stay. It would be someone to be groomed for, a warm body to snuggle up to at night.
She settled into her pillows and closed her eyes.
Chapter 20
‘I know I’ve said it before, but why do have a tiny bloody car? I can’t possibly fit with my bags and your bags and Val.’
‘Get the train then,’ advised Colin calmly. ‘I’m leaving in ten minutes, with or without you.’
Val nudged her and winked. ‘Just take a deep breath and get in. You’re small enough to fit.’
She stared in horror at the tiny vacancy on the back seat. Her knees would be up against her chin, there was no doubt about that. It would have been fine if Colin hadn’t packed enough clothes for two weeks. He couldn’t decide what to wear so he decided to bring everything ‘just in case’. Now, she would be squished in the back with two Louis Vuitton suitcases and a Chloe satchel.