I was dreading the game, and I feared that the team would just fall apart. Antonio walked up to me before the game and asked, “Where’s our star?”
I said, “He can’t make it. We’ll have to play without him.”
Antonio’s mouth opened wide, and he pulled a long, slim hand up to cover it. Then he said, “We’ll pull it together, Ian. We’re winners now, dammit!”
Antonio made me smile for the first time in the day. He personally jogged from one player to the next letting all of his teammates know that Blake was absent, but he also told them we were still going to win the game.
Our opponents were not one of the best teams in the league, but they gained some confidence when their pitcher asked me, “Where’s the ringer?”
I sighed heavily and said, “If you mean Blake Powell, he’s not here today, but don’t underestimate us.”
The pitcher chuckled and asked, “The cellar dwellers? You really think you can win without him?”
I could feel my hands slowly clench into my fists, but I stayed calm. I said, “I know we will.”
It was a very tight game from the beginning. We traded off single runs throughout each of the first three innings. Antonio did his best to drum up enthusiasm in the dugout each time we were up to bat. He even convinced several of his team members to break into impromptu dancing each time we put a runner on base.
In the fifth inning, I had a chance to be a hero. We were down one run, and I came up to bat with two outs and two runners on. Marshall was the lead runner at third.
I did my best to clear my mind entirely except for the game at hand. Reggie stepped out of the dugout and clapped a hand on my shoulder just before I walked to the plate. He said, “They are all looking for you to try and hit a long ball, Ian. Just plunk it through for a single. That will bring in Marshall, and it will tie the game. That’s all we need right now. You don’t need to swing for the fences. We’ve still got time to bring the game home.”
I should have listened to Reggie, but instead, I shrugged off his advice in favor of wanting to be a bigger hero. I wanted to hit the ball over the fence and prove that the Soft Serves didn’t need our awol star in order to win games.
My strategy proved a bust. I swung for the fences and miscalculated the arc of the pitch. The ball rolled down the base line to the first baseman who merely needed to pick it up and step on the base.
Antonio handed me my glove on the way out of the dugout and said, “We’re still gonna win.”
In the seventh inning, Reggie found himself in the same position as me in the fifth. Except this time, the game was tied, and he had the chance to deliver a walk-off winning hit. Billy was the lead runner at third. He was one of the fastest on our team, and a big hit wasn’t required to get him home. Most likely anything out of the immediate reach of an infielder would do the trick.
As he prepared to leave the dugout, Reggie whispered to me, “I hate situations like this, Ian. I break out in hives. Are you sure we can’t have a pinch hitter?”
I clapped him on the back. “You can do it, Reggie. Just a simple hit. That’s all we need. Forget about the other runners. Just get yourself to first base, and the rest will take care of itself.”
He rolled his head back to look up at the sky and said, “So fuckin’ easy for you to say.”
As he dragged himself reluctantly to home plate, Antonio led a chant of “Reg-gie, Reg-gie, Reg-gie” in the dugout.
Reggie didn’t look happy at the plate. I thought I could see a slight shake in his legs. He liked being one of the louder voices in a bar, but he didn’t like being depended on to be the hero in a game.
The first pitch went by and Reggie didn’t move the bat from his shoulder. It was a called strike. The team started to groan, but Antonio held a finger up to his lips to quiet his fellow players. Instead, they started the “Reg-gie” chant again except in a whisper.
Reggie swung at the next pitch, and he missed. All of the held breaths around me suddenly exhaled. The confidence of the team dipped precariously.
Then I felt something in my gut and I leaned toward Antonio whispering, “He’s gonna do it. I know.”
Antonio gave me a toothy white grin, and we both turned toward home plate. It wasn’t a big hit. In fact, it rolled on the perfect path about halfway between the pitcher and the first baseman. They both tried to stretch toward the ball and missed it. Finally, the second baseman caught up to the ball, but it was too late. Billy was already celebrating at home plate.
I ran out of the dugout and intercepted Reggie near first base. I gave him a massive hug lifting him off the ground, and the force of the crush from the rest of the team caused us both to tumble. Reggie had his place in the spotlight whether he wanted it or not.
Afterwards, we celebrated at the Toolbox. I wasn’t completely sure Blake had the evening off. I thought about going home and coming up with an excuse to skip the celebration, but then I looked into Reggie’s eyes and knew that I couldn’t miss his shining moment.
I did my best to avoid moping, but it was impossible to not think about Blake and wonder what he was doing. I wanted him by my side. I wanted to look into his dark eyes and know that he was going to be in bed with me when I woke up in the morning. I wanted to see the stares from strangers in the bar and know that Blake was mine.
Antonio led a toast. “To Reggie, our old friend and new star!”
Reggie was a familiar face at the Toolbox and the rest of the customers joined us in celebrating him. He was overcome with emotion, and for once he was speechless.
I whispered in his ear, “Drink it all in. This moment is yours, and you deserve it.”
Later, as we headed for the car, Reggie brought tears to my eyes. He said, “I know you miss Blake and you were wishing that he was here tonight, but I did want to say something. You’re always my friend, Ian, and I’ll always be here. You can count on me.”
21
Blake
I woke up in my bed reaching out for Ian at my side. He wasn’t there, of course. Instead, it was just me in a big, lonely, king-sized bed. I rolled over to face the opposite direction and tried to fall back asleep. It didn’t work.
Much of my daily life was the same story. I was spending time thinking about Ian, trying to actively stop thinking about Ian, or looking out my windows trying to make sure I avoided being outdoors while he was working on his plants. I noticed that he stopped working on the flowers along my front porch, and they were starting to look a little shabby.
Working at the Toolbox wasn’t easy either. The majority of our customers were single, but we had regular couples, too. I found myself leaning over the bar staring and longing for what I had only a couple of weeks back.
I watched kisses, and I could practically taste Ian on my lips. I put together a glass of Diet Coke for myself in an effort to drown the taste.
Adam, one of our regular customers, seated himself at the bar and asked, as I was staring off into space, “Boyfriend troubles?”
I smirked at him and asked, “Is it that obvious?”
He smiled and said, “When I see someone that distracted, it’s usually either a seriously sick relative or it’s boyfriend trouble. I was going to guess the former next.”
I said, “Yeah, things are a little rugged. Something will give soon, though. I’m pretty sure of that.”
In reality, I wasn’t really sure of anything. I wasn’t even sure that Ian was still my boyfriend. We were in the midst of total silence. I didn’t see him. We hadn’t exchanged any messages since I let him know that I would miss the softball game. I figured we had to speak again at some point, but that point could be months away.
Adam said, “Well, I hope for your sake it does. Relationships can really suck. I have the scars to prove that fact.”
I nodded and looked beyond Adam’s shoulder. A young couple was seated at a table against the wall. I watched as they both leaned forward and gave each other the most delicate of kisses. Then they pulled back with obvious smi
les. They looked like a couple at an old-fashioned 50s soda fountain. I could practically see the hearts floating in the air between them.
“My final advice,” piped up Adam. I shifted my gaze to look at him and listen. “You should get a hobby. Figure it out. It’s best if you meet with a group about it. Then you give yourself a good chance to meet somebody new. When that finally happens, all of the tangled gut you have right now goes away. You’ll be back on cloud nine again.”
I grumbled and said, “I don’t know if I wanna be.”
He reached out a hand to my cheek and said, “Oh, you want to be. Trust me, I know.”
I pulled away from the touch on my cheek and said, “I’ve got to get back to work.” Adam was successful with one thing. He got my thoughts pulled away from Ian in an effort to prove that I wasn’t as obsessed as he thought.
As I poured another drink for a customer, I thought about the baseball team. I wondered if I really should consider checking to see if there were any bartending vacancies at Balls. It would stop me from trying to duck familiar faces at the Toolbox and help me dive right in to the new circle of baseball friends.
I daydreamed about my home run. I could see it sailing over the fence again. I saw myself rounding the bases and stomping emphatically on home plate just before the rapturous greeting from my teammates.
Claw walked in fifteen minutes before the scheduled end of my shift. He said, “You can check out a little early if you want, Blake. I managed to escape the circus at home.”
I looked into his handsome, rugged face and asked, “Circus?”
He said, “Oh yeah, the kids were acting up. One pulling me one way to play on his computer game. The other pulling me outside to help with his leaf project for school. I finally had to escape.”
I knew that Claw had a husband, but I didn’t know they had kids. I blurted out, “I didn’t know you had kids.”
He grinned. “Yeah, Brian and I adopted both of them. They are adorable when they’re little, but then they grow up. I love them to death, but sometimes I just need to get out. Brian was so sweet. He said, ‘Just head to work a little early. I’ll take care of this.’ He’ll get a little extra thank you in bed if you know what I mean.” Claw winked at me.
I stared at the ring on his finger and said, “Yeah, I think I’ll go home just a little bit early.”
I checked for Sally in the office before I left. She was there crunching numbers. Sally looked up, and I said, “Claw got here early, so I’m going to go home just a few minutes ahead of time. I’ll trade back with him soon.”
Sally asked, “So what’s up with Ian?”
“What do you mean?”
“Dumb isn’t a good color on you, Blake. You were here together all the time. Now I see each of you with regularity, but you are never together. Did you break up?”
I said, “I don’t really know.”
She turned away from her number crunching and asked, “You don’t know? How does that happen?”
I explained that we weren’t on speaking terms and I wouldn’t know for sure what was going on until we talked again. I said, “It’s just silent for now.”
She said, “I completely hate to butt in, but I think you need to give him a call if you care about the future. I’ve known Ian a long time, and he’s worth it.” She poked at my chest and said, “I think you know it, too.”
I scrunched up my face and said, “Sally, I’ve really gotta get going. I’ll let you know what happens in the long run.” I turned around and the last thing I saw was Sally shaking her head. She didn’t make any additional comments. She just sat at her desk shaking her head.
22
Ian
“Well I thought this was going to help, but I guess it’s not,” said Reggie.
He invited me out to dinner at a hot new Asian place downtown. A chef from a top-rated Chinese restaurant and one from the best Thai restaurant in the city got together to plan a pan-Asian concept. Everything was sleek and modern and the food was full of flavor. Unfortunately, my mood didn’t match.
I couldn’t shake thoughts about Blake from my mind, but I wasn’t ready yet to go crawling up to his door begging forgiveness. I saw him come and go from his house, but it was close to two weeks since we last spoke to each other. The sad condition of the plants in his front yard was a good sign of how our relationship was going.
I said to Reggie, “I’m really sorry. It’s just hard. Maybe it would be easier if he didn’t live next door. I have to watch him come and go from his house all the time.”
“You have to watch, or are you peering out the living room window waiting to catch a glimpse?”
Sighing, I said, “I don’t do that very often.”
That comment made Reggie laugh, and he fumbled with his chopsticks. He looked across the table and said, “Damn, Ian, you have to figure something out. Look what you made me do with my chopsticks. I’m usually an expert with these.”
“Do you think I should call him?” I asked.
Reggie said, “I think we’ve been all over the topic. I don’t really think we have anything that we haven’t covered. It is time that you do something about it. I don’t really care what you do. You can call Blake, or you can try going out with someone else. What you shouldn’t keep doing is pining away inside your house peering out like some old woman waiting for her jilted lover from thirty years ago to return.”
I pursed my lips. “I’m really not that bad. I get my work done, and I take care of myself. I’m doing pretty well in softball. Our team is doing great.”
“But you’re unhappy,” said Reggie.
I repeated his words and nodded in agreement. “But I’m unhappy. Maybe I should ask someone else out. That would give me a little more information. I would see how they compare with dating Blake.”
Reggie leaned across the table and said, “If you’re gonna ask somebody out, don’t look at them like a guinea pig. They deserve to be treated like they have a real chance like anybody else. Focus on them, and set the rest aside. It is okay to date more than one guy at a time if you haven’t settled on the right one.”
I said, “Okay, I’ll find somebody else for a date.” I paused, and then I asked, “Do you have any suggestions?”
Reggie set his chopsticks down on his plate, took a sip of water and asked, “Why don’t you ask Marshall out? He’s a good guy.”
I opened my eyes wide. “Marshall Easterling?”
“Yes. You look shocked. What’s wrong with Marshall Easterling?”
“Well, he’s probably at least fifteen years older than me.”
Reggie nodded. “And he looks great, doesn’t he?”
I said, “But I’ve never dated a guy that much older than me. Reggie, I’m not sure…”
“That’s one reason why it would be a great new experience for you. It’s just a date, Ian. It’s not an arranged marriage.”
I laughed. “Yeah, sometimes I forget about that. I guess he is good looking.”
Reggie said, “He’s hot. I think he’s out of my league, or I would have asked him out by now. Have you ever really looked at how he fills out that softball uniform?”
I said, “He’s got even stronger pecs than Blake. At least that’s what it looks like. He’s never taken off his shirt at practice.”
Reggie continued egging me on. He said, “So wouldn’t you like a chance to see what’s under the shirt? Or touch it?”
I held a finger to my lips. I whispered, “We’re out in public, Reggie, and no, I don’t go to bed on a first date.”
He whispered back, “I didn’t say go to bed. I was just thinking about some good-natured groping.” Then he laughed softly.
We ate for a few more minutes in silence. I said, “I’ve always been a little curious about older guys.”
“He’s 44,” said Reggie.
“How do you know?”
“I asked. If you really want to know something, then it’s usually best to ask.”
I thought about my questio
ns about the relationship with Blake and knew that Reggie was exactly right. “So why was it that you haven’t asked him out?” I asked.
Reggie said, “I’ve flirted, and I’ve tried to generate some interest, but it all seems to fall flat. He just goes over and makes cute jokes with Antonio.”
I curled up one corner of my mouth and asked, “So what makes you think I’ll be more successful?”
He said, “You’re not a muscle guy, but it’s obvious you’ve got a nice body, Ian, and you’re a blonde, and there’s something about the way you carry yourself…when you’re not moping about Blake.”
I said, “I’m not so sure I have much of a chance either. Maybe Marshall is just happy being single. Or maybe he has the hots for Antonio.”
“Antonio is married.”
“That doesn’t mean he’s off limits for lust.”
Reggie laughed. “I guess you have a point. But you’ll do something about this? Tomorrow preferably?”
I said, “I’ll do something about it. I’ll give Marshall a call unless Blake magically reappears.”
* * *
I had a list of all of the names and phone numbers of the guys on our team at home. Reggie and I lingered at the restaurant eating dessert and having another drink. It was too late to call when I got home, but I pulled out the list and pored over the names and numbers.
I thought about Marshall and his handsome smile with the perfectly groomed salt and pepper hair. He was so well put together that I always thought he was almost too perfect. If Milwaukee had a calendar of sexy older guys, Marshall would be on the cover. He had a strong chest, deep set eyes and a perfectly enticing amount of chest hair sticking out of the neck line of his uniform.
Leaning back in my desk chair, I tried to think about what it would be like to kiss Marshall. It was the wrong thing to do, because it only made me think about kissing Blake. I growled to myself and put the list away. It was time to go to bed.
Complete Game: The League, Book 1 Page 12