by Maryam Diaab
“Ahh…” I was becoming exasperated. “I feel as if I have to keep explaining myself over and over again. The bigger picture is that Terrence can give me the life I need.”
“You don’t love him,” Jordan said, as if she knew everything about me.
“Terrence?” I asked, and she nodded. “Yes, I do!”
“No, you don’t. You used to love him, but now you’re settling for stability.”
“Ajani cannot be a husband right now. He doesn’t have a degree or a job. He’s so immature at times that it drives me completely insane. For God’s sake, his father pays his rent, his car note. His father buys the food in his refrigerator.”
“Why do you have to have a husband now? I don’t understand why you won’t wait to find the right man?”
“I’m not twenty, Jordan. I don’t have youth on my side like you and Ajani. I’m thirty-four and my time to wait is pretty much running out.”
“So you’d rather marry the wrong man than wait for the right one to get on his feet?”
I looked at her but couldn’t answer. As much as I hated to admit it, she was right and there was no arguing with common sense.
“Yvette, your office phone is ringing,” Jordan said, pointing to the open door. I hadn’t heard because I was distracted by the words of wisdom she had just given me.
“Thank you for calling Nashville Prep. This is Ms. Brooks speaking,” I said, using the most professional voice I could muster.
“Yvette?” A voice barely above a whisper was on the line.
“Wendy? What’s wrong? Are you crying?” Wendy was not a crier. The last time I had seen her cry was when we were fifteen and her grandmother had died suddenly. If she was crying now, something must be very wrong.
“Can you come to Detroit? I can’t do this by myself,” she begged, her words almost indistinct.
“Wendy, sweetie, relax and talk to me.”
“I need you to come home. I can’t believe this is happening to me!”
“What is happening?” My mind ping-ponged from one horrible scenario to the next.
“I’m pregnant.”
My mind went blank. Wendy was the most careful person I knew. In fact, we used to joke that if she ever became pregnant it would be because of divine intervention. Wendy used every pregnancy-prevention method known to man. She once told me that a baby just didn’t fit anywhere into the Wendy Web experience.
“Pregnant? I didn’t even know you were seeing anyone seriously,” I finally managed to get out, feeling completely out of the loop.
“I’m not,” she said sniffling. “There is no one serious in my life right now.”
“Well, who’s the baby’s father?” I was confused.
“Um, um…Do you remember the guy I brought to dinner that time?”
“Yeah, the baseball player, right?” I couldn’t imagine that man being a father to Wendy’s baby, not with the way he flirted with me right in front of her and Terrence.
“Yeah, Alonzo.”
“Wendy, what are you going to do? Have you talked to Alonzo? Have you told him?”
“He doesn’t want anything to do with the baby. He wants me to get an abortion.”
“Is that what you want?” I walked over to the door separating my office from Jordan’s workspace and closed it.
“What other choice do I have?” Wendy asked, sobbing into the phone.
“You can have the baby. Being a single mother isn’t the scarlet letter that it used to be.”
“I refuse to be anyone’s baby mama, Yvette. I already scheduled the appointment to get rid of it. Will you come with me?”
I didn’t understand how she could refer to her child as an “it”. And to make the decision to abort so soon was slightly disturbing. I sensed there was a lot she was leaving out; nevertheless, she was my best friend and I had to be supportive.
“Of course, I’ll come. I’ll book a flight out tonight.”
Ajani
26
“I knew you would come to your senses.” I turned around and looked at Lisa sitting with her naked back against my headboard. A self-satisfied smirk was on her cinnamon colored face. This was a nightmare.
“Ajani, I have always known that we were meant to be together.” She untangled herself from the covers and crawled forward, obviously intent on seducing me all over again. “Just look in the mirror,” she said. “We were made for each other.”
To pacify her, I looked at our reflections and had to concede that Lisa was perhaps right. In a different time and place we would have been a perfect match: same age, same family background. We even looked similar, but now…
Lisa wrapped her toned arms around my shoulders and smiled at the picture-perfect pair in the mirror. Her freckled face and long-lashed eyes gleamed with elation, while I looked somber, as if I had just made the biggest mistake of my life. And I probably had.
She softly kissed my neck, and I felt my insides turn to stone.
“I knew you would come running back as soon as you realized that Yvette couldn’t give you what you needed.”
I stiffened involuntarily at the mention of Yvette’s name. I missed, loved, and hated her all at the same time. It physically hurt to be away from her, and that was the reason I had gotten myself into this mess with Lisa. Drowning your sorrows in Omega Oil never turned out well.
“Lisa, I was drunk. We had sex because I was drunk.”
“Don’t fool yourself. You’re using that as an excuse, but we both know that you did exactly what you have been wanting to do ever since we broke up.”
“I can barely remember anything from last night, Lisa, so I doubt that whatever the hell we did was premeditated on my part.”
I tried to focus, hoping that I would recall a little more of what had transpired the night before. I could vividly remember downing half a bottle of Bacardi and then hearing my two frat brothers beat on the door to let me know it was time to head out. I slid into the car, talking loudly and feeling good until someone asked, “Where’s that fine-ass chick you’ve been glued to?”
The night went downhill from there. When we got to the party, I headed straight to the bar and quickly slurped down two plastic cups of Omega Oil. Then I saw Lisa dropping it like it was hot on the dance floor. Her skirt was so short and her legs so juicy I wanted to take a bite out of them. That’s exactly what I remember doing, crawling toward her on all fours and lifting her skirt with my teeth. Not my finest hour, but I had no idea it would lead to her in my bed, talking about getting back together.
“Please, boy,” Lisa laughed, reaching for me. “You wanted it just as much as I did.”
“What I wanted was to stop thinking about Yvette for a while and have some fuckin’ fun. Everything just got way out of hand.”
“You know what?” Lisa asked loudly, her voice becoming angry. “I’m sick of hearing about that stuck-up bitch, Ajani. You talked about her all night. It was ridiculous!”
“I talked about her because I wanted to be with her. Sorry to bust your bubble, Lisa, but I’m in love with her.”
Lisa looked at me, her mouth open so wide it looked as if she was trying to catch flies. “You cannot be serious. You’ve known her for like five minutes.”
“Amazing, isn’t it?” I asked, unable and unwilling to hide the sarcasm in my voice.
“So what was I? Just some rebound booty call?” she asked, her voice changing from angry to hurt in seconds.
“That’s exactly what it was, Lisa. As I said, I was drunk, and I’m sure you took advantage of the situation. I don’t even remember what happened after the dance floor.”
She stared at me, tears glistening in her eyes. “You know that’s really fucked up, don’t you, Ajani?”
I turned and looked at her, feeling the old Ajani rearing his ugly, male-chauvinist head. “You know me, Lisa. What else did you expect?”
* * *
Yvette
“What are you doing here?” a surprised Terrence greeted me when I walked i
nto the loft. A fire was burning low in the fireplace, and the space smelled of steak and potatoes.
Terrence sat up on the couch and paused the television. He was wearing a pair of crumpled hospital scrubs, his appearance indicated that he had just finished up a rotation at work. It was very difficult to glean from the look on his face whether he was happy about my unexpected appearance.
It had been a while since I’d last visited Detroit, and while the house looked the same with its sage-colored walls and stainless-steel appliances; it felt different. It didn’t feel like home; it wasn’t where I belonged.
“Wendy called me yesterday. She’s pregnant.” I waited for a reaction from Terrence. I braced myself for his usual smart-alecky remark or even an expression of great surprise, but nothing came. “Did you hear me? I said that Wendy is pregnant.” I walked over to the couch and stood over him after he un-paused the television. His eyes wouldn’t meet mine.
“I heard you, but I’m not sure what you want me to say about it. Wendy is your friend, not mine.”
“Well, if you’re not going to say anything about Wendy, aren’t you at least going to say how glad you are to see me?”
“Yeah, I’m really glad to see you,” Terrence responded in a bored and insincere voice that made me wish I’d never opened the loft’s door. There was a moment’s silence, and then Terrence looked at me and said, “I do have something to say.” He turned the TV off and got up from the couch. He maneuvered around the island and headed to the refrigerator, taking out the orange juice and drinking directly from a carton. “I find it strange that you come running back to Detroit when Wendy gets knocked up, but every time I ask you, your fiancé asks you, you’re too busy.”
“Terrence, she called me crying. Wendy never cries, and she said the father wasn’t involved. He wants her to get an abortion. What was I supposed to do?”
“Who’s the father?” he asked, his voice changing slightly. He glared at me from the corner of his eye.
“That guy she brought to dinner a few months ago, Alonzo, the one who plays for the Tigers.”
Terrence snorted and put the juice back, slamming the refrigerator door. “I still don’t understand where you fit into all this.”
“She needs someone to hold her hand. She’s pregnant and all alone. It’s my job to be there for her.”
“No, Yvette,” he said, his eyes flashing. “It’s your job to be here for me. Since you’ve been gone, my life has turned to shit. I need you here.”
“What’s so wrong with your life that can’t wait to be fixed until after the wedding?”
“Are you even coming back after the wedding? It’s less than two months away, and I haven’t heard you making any plans to come back. Hell, I don’t know if there will still be a wedding.”
“Of course there will still be a wedding.”
“The caterer called three days ago. She said that you still haven’t finalized the menu for the reception.”
Terrence stared me down, waiting for a response. I mentally kicked myself. The wedding plans had become secondary since I had begun seeing Ajani. When I was with him nothing else mattered. “I’ve been so busy. I’ll get on it as soon as all this drama with Wendy is finished,” I promised.
“It’s always something with you, Yvette. Go ahead and go,” he said, waving me toward the door. “I’m sure you’re sorry you even had to stop by here on your way to save the world.”
And so I left.
“It’s so good to see you,” I said holding Wendy in a tight embrace. I didn’t realize how much I had missed her until I saw her tear-stained face. We had been through so much together; she was more than my best friend—she was my sister.
“Thank you for getting here so quickly. I don’t know if I’d been able to do this alone.”
Wendy grabbed her purse off the table in the entryway and we walked outside.
“I got here as soon as possible. Do you think I would have let you do this by yourself?”
“You’ve just been so busy lately…”
“You’re the second person that’s told me that today,” I said, opening the passenger-side car door for her.
“Terrence?”
“Who else? He claims that since I’ve been gone his life is in shambles.” I turned the key and the car began its low rumble. “But enough about me and my nonstop drama. I want to hear about what’s going on with you.”
“Nothing much to say, really. Got pregnant, need an abortion.” Her mouth laughed but her spirit was crying.
“You don’t have to do this, Wendy. There are other options.”
“No, there aren’t. Having this baby would mean the end of my career, the end of Wendy Web. I’m not about to give up something I worked so hard for.”
“Giving up everything for your career isn’t always the best idea. Look at my life. I moved to Nashville for a promotion and now my fiancé is angry, probably cheating on me, and I’m in love with a college student. I’m not even sure if I can still marry Terrence without having a nervous breakdown.”
“If you were in my shoes…”
“If I were in your shoes, I would have that baby and think about the rest later. There are women in this world who would give anything to have a baby.”
“Well, I’m not one of those women,” Wendy said, wiping her eyes and staring out the window.
“If you’re not one of those women, why are you crying?” I asked gently.
“I’m crying because I can’t believe how stupid I was to get myself into this situation. Pregnant by a man that doesn’t even give two shits about me.”
“I’m sure Alonzo cares about you, Wendy. He’s probably just as scared as you are.”
“Please.”
We drove the rest of the way to the clinic in silence, with Wendy looking out the window and me thinking about Terrence’s comment that his life is shit. If he knew the truth he would see that my life wasn’t that far behind.
“The station would fire me if I have this baby,” Wendy said, coming back to life after I pulled into a parking space at the clinic and killed the engine.
“No, they won’t. You’re the reason that people started watching Channel Four again. They can’t afford to lose Wendy Web. Besides, there are wrongful-termination laws. You could sue and own the station if they fired you for having a baby.”
She put her head against the headrest and closed her eyes. “What kind of mother do you think I’d be?”
“A great mother. That kid will be the best-dressed baby in the nursery,” I joked, causing her to chuckle.
“Something inside me has been saying that aborting this baby is a mistake. I never thought I wanted a child, but now I don’t know. I just keep imagining a little boy who looks just like…” A solitary tear fell down her cheek.
“Wendy, why don’t you take a little more time to think about it? This isn’t the kind of decision you make in haste.”
“I’m not perfect. I haven’t been an angel in the last couple of months, and I’ve been thinking that this is the universe’s way of paying me back,” Wendy said, looking sideways at me.
“A baby isn’t punishment, Wendy. It’s a blessing.”
We sat, looking at the tall, mirrored building. We watched women go in and come out the clinic. Sad, happy, relieved, and confused faces kept me quiet and Wendy thinking.
We waited for at least two hours. Her appointment came and went without either of us commenting. I sat, speaking when she was ready and remaining silent when she wasn’t. “Yvette, take me home,” she said finally, turning to me with a determination in her eyes I had never seen. “Whatever this baby will bring to my life, I’m going to see it through ’til the end.”
Yvette
27
I entered the loft as slowly as possible. I hated that I had to return, but Wendy had insisted she was fine, saying she didn’t need me and wanted to spend a little time deciding the course of her life. Alone. That left me with a plane reservation for tomorrow afternoon and
an angry fiancé to face at home.
The loft was quiet. The only light came from the bedroom. “Yvette?” Terrence called.
“It’s me.” I dropped my purse on the couch and sat down next to it. My feet were tired; my brain was exhausted. In some ways, I wished life could go back to the way it was before Nashville. That’s when life was easy and uncomplicated. I wasn’t happy, but things were simple.
“How did everything go?” Terrence asked, flopping down on the couch next to me and smelling of Zest soap and baby lotion. His white T-shirt gleamed, and his jeans were freshly pressed.
“Everything went well. Are you going somewhere?” I asked, touching his pants.
“In a bit. I’ve got a run to make, but I shouldn’t be long.” Terrence moved closer to me and laced his left hand through my right. I felt nothing.
“So how is Wendy feeling?”
I couldn’t tell if he was genuinely concerned or being a smart ass. “She didn’t go through with it. I don’t think she ever wanted to in the first place. She was letting the baby’s father pressure her into an abortion.”
The warmth in Terrence’s eyes slowly turned cold. I wondered why. “So she decided to keep the baby?”
“Yeah, said she wants a boy.” I removed my hand from his and picked up the television remote.
“I can’t imagine her as a single mom,” he said quietly.
“Maybe she won’t have to be; the father might come around. After he sees the baby, maybe he’ll want them to be a family.”
“Doubt it.”
We had become strangers. “Your mother called a couple of days ago,” he informed me, waiting for a reaction.
My heart fell and I didn’t respond.
“I told her about the wedding. It was a mistake. I thought you would have told her by now.”
“No, not yet. I was waiting…”
“Waiting for?” he prodded.
I shrugged. “I don’t know. I guess I was trying to decide if I wanted her there.” I stopped and looked deep into his eyes, hoping that he would give me a truthful answer to my question: “Why do you want to marry me?”
“Because I love you.” His words were sincere.