by Fiona Murphy
Deeper now, I’m giving her what she wants, what I need. I’m fighting not to come, it isn’t easy. Christina is sobbing, begging, pleading for me to move faster, to give her the orgasm just out of reach.
With a hard push I’m buried deep inside her, savoring the moment. I do not get long, however, before Christina clenches tight around me, urging me on. Witch. Leash off, I give in to need and fuck her the way she begs, harder, faster deeper. It feels like only seconds, but my cock is screaming it’s been far longer. Finally she comes, and now I can too.
***
Christina
The night doesn’t end, it’s a replay of the first time, the first day we made love. Ivan leaves my body only long enough to change positions, he fucks me twice more in the ass and I’m trying not to be ashamed of how much I love it. It helps me when he tells me how much he loves that I love it. It isn’t until pink touches the sky he allows me to fall asleep with his cock still inside me.
When I wake up, I’m alone. I check the bedside table. Holy shit, it’s two in the afternoon. We were supposed to leave at noon. Sitting up, it’s back again—the tender tingly feelings of soreness throughout my body. I spend a good twenty minutes in the bath, then pick out a light pink summer dress. What is going on?
Walking out of the closet, I find Ivan on the sofa looking at his phone. He looks up when I walk toward him. “Are you hungry?”
He doesn’t look angry or icy, he smiles at my confusion.
“There are benefits to owning the plane. It leaves when I say it does. I wanted you to get the rest you needed. We’ll have a very late lunch and while we’re doing that our things will be packed.”
“Okay, I am starving.” That easily, he takes my hand and we go downstairs.
***
Christina
The flight home takes seven hours, but it goes by too fast. We spend it in bed, wrapped up in each other talking about the trip, all the things I liked and didn’t, and I treasure every second. When it’s close to the time to land, Ivan sends me into the shower first then uses it when I’m done. Too bad, I could have gotten use to traveling like this, I think as I put on a new dress.
I sit down in a chair in the cabin and lecture myself on not crying or being a baby. Ivan appears again, he’s in jeans and a polo and I want so badly to touch him. He sits down beside me. Taking my hand, he squeezes lightly. I can feel him thinking.
“You’re coming home with me. This isn’t over between us. Not today, not tomorrow.”
My heart is in my throat. His eyes fathomless, he’s expecting a fight. Why, I have no idea. “For how long?”
A shrug. “Why do we have to put a number on it? Until we both don’t want to.”
Closing my eyes, I wonder if this is a dream, if this is real. Ivan squeezes my hand harder—no dream.
“Look at me, Christina. Open your eyes, don’t hide from me.”
It comes rushing back, that moment so long ago. I open my eyes.
“I tried. I’m not letting you go.”
“That’s good, because I don’t want you to.”
***
Ivan
Thank fucking god. That was easier than I thought it would be. Christina is happy, glowing. She didn’t want to leave me. Now I can breathe again.
Taking Christina’s hand, I guide her through the condo. I feel her confusion as we go in the other direction of our bedroom. When she sees it, she gasps my name in sheer joy before throwing her arms around my neck.
This was the main living area and the largest room in the condo, I don’t use it often. There is another, smaller room that Christina prefers anyway. A corner unit, this is where the two corners meet and the two walls are of thick glass with panoramic views of the lake.
My instructions were followed: everything was removed, including the carpets. Now there are bare wood floors, and the cream rolling curtains that cover the two walls have been changed out for soft white. There are three easels, and three different rolling carts to hold paints, brushes, and tools, all filled with the best of those items, acrylic, oil, and watercolor paints, since from her history she used all three at various times. There are fifty blank canvases ready for her use in the various sizes they came in.
“How did you do this? When did you do this?”
“Lilly did it yesterday. I called her and told her to make a studio you couldn’t walk away from.”
Her head tilts in question.
“In case you didn’t want to stay.”
“Ivan, you have to be the stupidest, most idiotic, brilliant billionaire that ever existed. I would never stay for a studio or a closet full of dresses, or even a ring on a dream board. It’s only ever for you. Just you.”
20
Christina
“More coffee?” I ask Ivan as I refill my cup. It’s weird how much I love taking care of him, which I only get to do on the weekend. We fend for ourselves with Lilly only working during the week. He usually makes breakfast because he’s up for hours before me, sneaking into his home office then working out. Like most mornings, he wakes me up with kisses and coffee. Then in the afternoon I cook us lunch and in the evening we make dinner together. Sometimes we go out or even have our meals delivered, but not often. We enjoy cooking together and staying in our own little world of just the two of us.
I hate the idea of leaving this perfect cocoon. However, if we don’t I’m risking offending Elise, and I don’t want to do that. When we got back from England I had lunch with Elise and Lydia as promised. Elise was even nicer than I hoped. We’ve only had lunch twice because Anna was hurt when I mentioned going to lunch with Elise. I fumbled, not sure if I should invite Anna or not the second time. After that I thought it was best to keep my lunches for Anna, since we didn’t go out in the evening. It was nice to keep our afternoons the same, considering all the ways everything else has changed.
Elise was so sweet, she understood, no harm at all but that meant we needed to come over for dinner. I’ve been ordered to show up with Ivan in tow for dinner tonight or else. Ivan is even less happy about it than I am, but he’s given in because he knows how Elise can be.
I spot it, he’s doing the tapping thing with his forefinger. Carefully, I put the carafe of coffee down, as I wait for whatever is coming that has made him so tense.
A final tap. “It’s been a month.”
The best month of my life. Is it over already?
“You have not made a single change to anything outside of your studio.”
A sigh of relief escapes. “Do you want me to make a change?”
He exhales slowly, it’s the one where he’s trying to keep hold of his temper. “I want you to feel comfortable. This is your home now. Yet I do not feel you treat it as such.”
Swallowing down all the words I want to say isn’t easy. Baby steps, I assure myself. “Okay.”
Exasperated, “Okay, what?”
Do not laugh, he will be so pissed if you laugh. “Okay, I’ll redecorate. Do you have any ideas?” Or help would be nice.
“I don’t care. It hasn’t been changed since I moved in. I’m sure things are out of date. As long as you leave my office and workout room alone you could put red velvet on the walls. I don’t care what you do as long as you like it.”
“One room in red velvet coming up,” I tease.
“You think you are so funny.”
“I think I’m hilarious.”
***
Christina
“If I didn’t remember what it was like, I would gag.” Lydia giggles. “You two are acting as if it’s torture to be on opposite sides of the table from each other.”
“Be nice, you do remember exactly what it’s like. Those first few months with Dmitri, I resented everyone and everything that kept me from putting my hands on him for longer than an hour or two. I hated when he stuck me at home and wouldn’t work with me.”
“I considered giving up working entirely. Decker tried to talk me into quitting and I thought about it.”
/> “I’m a horrible person. I hope Connor never comes back. Ivan finally found a new assistant but he’s working less time in the office, so that means more time us assistants need to do the busy work. Which means I need to stay as his PA.” I shrug as I admit it out loud.
“I don’t want to leave. I love working with him every day. The thought of going to my own office doesn’t appeal in the slightest the way it used to. This goes away eventually, right? The bubbly, intoxicated feeling when you look at him? I mean I keep reading about women who can’t stand to hear their husband’s breathing. When does that happen?” I brace for impact, waiting to hear Elise confirm it.
Elise considers the question before shaking her head. “I have no idea. It hasn’t happened yet and it will be nine years this year. Don’t get me wrong, he has his moments where I would love to smack him for saying things without thought. I think that’s it, when we get thoughtless with each other, when we forget to be grateful for what we have with the person we fell in love with.
“I don’t mind quite as much as I used to when Dmitri goes away for a day or two because when he comes back...” She sighs. “It’s like we’ve been apart for years, and we get so greedy for each other’s attention all over again.”
Lydia nods. “I agree. I’ll admit it, the money helps, we’re extremely lucky. Being able to afford the nanny, and the housecleaning, and someone else to do the laundry and cooking so we have the time and energy to focus on each other. If I had to spend nine hours at work, come home, cook, clean, and worry about the two little ones without any help from my husband, I would grow to hate his breathing not being as labored as mine from all the work I’m doing and he’s sitting on his ass.”
“That is so true. There is no way in the world I could imagine having six kids without a nanny, and the housekeeper we have. I would have lost my mind. And Dmitri is very hands on, he’s there for soccer games, and violin recitals and he puts the kids to bed every night. Even with all the help, I get why rich people send their kids to boarding schools.” Shaking her head, “Our oldest is pushing every boundary we have right now and I swear it’s just for fun.”
Lydia laughs. “Ella’s favorite word is no. We don’t dare leave her alone with Ben for long for fear she’ll hurt him. A word of advice, Christina: do not let it go too long between kids because they hate giving up the spotlight to the next one. I had thought three sounded good, but I’m a little worried if it’s safe at this point.”
“Ooh, you’re blushing. Have you had the kids talk yet?” Elise wiggles her eyebrows at me.
Great, her pointing it out makes me blush even more. “Yes, and no.” I shake my head as I think of it. “At the beginning I told him I wanted kids and he said he hadn’t even thought of it. But it’s not a no. Then we had a slip.” Another blush, how embarrassing. “And you would have thought he was disappointed. Since we got back we’ve had more than one. I offer to get the morning-after pill and he says no. I’m really confused.”
Lydia rolls her eyes. “Um, duh, he wants you to get pregnant. No man, especially a brilliant billionaire like Ivan, is going to chance something like that.”
Elise nods. “They just don’t. There’s too much at stake for them. It will never happen unless they want it to happen. Most of the time they won’t even let the woman handle the condom.” My eyes go wide at the implication. “Oh yeah, it’s like that.”
“So?”
I’m confused.
Sighing, “So, what do you want? Are you okay with these slips?” For the first time Elise is very serious. “Because it’s bullshit if you aren’t.”
“Oh, god yes. I’m happy. Very happy.” The first time Ivan forgot a condom when we got back to Chicago, I could have sworn he did it on purpose. There was something so different from the time in Manchester. A part of me wanted to grab him and tell him I loved him, and I wanted his baby so badly I dreamed of it nightly. A baby boy with big black eyes and Ivan’s grin. Even now, I fight not to shiver with longing.
Blushing, I realize both women are smiling at me. “I wasn’t sure what it meant. If I was reading too much into it or not. I can’t think of anything that would make me happier. Except Ivan actually saying out loud it’s what he wants.”
“The same could be said for you.” Lydia shrugs. “I don’t get why you don’t just say it.”
Shaking our heads, Elise and I laugh as we see it. “I love you to death, Lydia, you know that, but it’s so fucking annoying when women like you with high self-esteem and positive body image take a thump at those of us without all of that. They are less than three months in, for fuck’s sake. It’s scary to have the conversation even a year in.”
“Are you all right?” Dmitri asks, his eyes narrowed on his wife.
“I’m fine, we’re good. We’re going to go check on the kittens. Come on, ladies. We have the most adorable kittens in the world. We started with one fat street cat and she went and had babies on us.”
“I didn’t even think we were loud. Were we loud?” I ask as I follow Elise through her beautiful home. I’m terrified Ivan might have heard.
“No, we weren’t. I had an eye on them to make sure. They were deep into a discussion on futures, usual boring men stuff. Before that they were talking about the changes in British politics of late. Dmitri’s always got his eye on Elise though.”
Shrugging, she nods with a smile. “He’s very alert when he’s worried about something interrupting our planned special time. I had to do some hard bargaining to get him to agree to having people over. He hates it. The having people over thing, not the actual people. Us not having dinner with the kids or putting them to bed, he hates his schedule to be messed with in any way.”
“Sounds exactly like Ivan. Oh my god, they are adorable.”
We’re in a large playroom, filled with children’s toys and desks. There is a large cage with a black cat nursing two small black kittens while two other kittens, both gray, play with each other.
Elise opens the door and the two gray ones come charging out on wobbly legs. Picking up one, she hands it to me. I snuggle it close. “I have always wanted a cat. Are you going to keep them all?”
“Oh yeah.” She rolls her eyes. “the kids would scream bloody murder if we didn’t. They’re already upset they don’t each have one. So cuddle it close, but it’s staying here when you leave. Speaking of, about the whole scary conversation, I say don’t have it at all. Make him work for you a little more. From experience, I can tell you they appreciate it more when they have to work for it.”
Frowning, Lydia sighs. “But like how much work? Saying no when you mean yes or what? I’m just not feeling the whole manipulation thing.”
“Okay, I get it’s not exactly PC or whatever, but sometimes you have to put them through a little something to make them realize what they want and they have to work for it. I’ve done some things I’m not proud of, but these aren’t regular men. Please and thank you aren’t in their vocabulary. They take what they want, they aren’t used to hearing the word no and they like a challenge.”
Elise shrugs. “Give him a challenge. Not every man is the same. I get Decker had been through a ton of drama and bullshit, and he was ready for smooth and easy and clear definitions. Ivan reminds me so much of Dmitri, and for Dmitri it was all him trying to get and maintain control. Which, I get he needs, but he was playing fast and loose with knowing I would be there for him whenever he wanted.”
Shaking her head, “Hell, I wanted to be there. I wasn’t going anywhere, but complacency wasn’t working out for us either. There were times I felt like I was an afterthought. Which led to me resenting the fuck out of him. Look, don’t go overboard, because that’s no good either. I’m saying don’t make everything easy. Don’t shy away from the word no either.”
I think of the black lace dress, and how delicious the night was after.
“Even almost nine years in I like saying no every once in a while. He was shocked when I said I didn’t want to go with him to Paris for
a few days while he had business to do there. His plan was hotel sex, no kiddos, and work during the day. I told him that I liked the sex better when he’s been gone and he’s all needy.” She laughs, as she blushes. “Let me tell you, the sex was amazing that night. Then he picked me up and carried me out of the house with him to Paris, against my will. The entire flight was exhausting, in a very good way.”
“Hmm.” Lydia sighs. “It’s always good. Decker always goes above and beyond every single time. But it has been a minute since it was amazing. While I was pregnant with Ben and after, we went almost six months without sex. It was awful, between the baby blues and Ella’s tantrums we didn’t have the drive. We finally got back into the groove, but it’s strictly bedroom or shower, not the hot, dirty, sweaty stuff we used to have.”
“We went through that phase too. Between our third and fourth one, me learning to juggle between how much to depend on the nanny and how much to take on. You never lose that drive to want to be supermom—getting caught up in that was torture. I even thought it was a bad thing as a mom to enjoy anal sex, to enjoy sex at all as much as I did. These weird, crazy thoughts, thoughts I’d never had before, came crashing in and did a number on me and our whole relationship. For over two years it was bed only, lights off. I don’t know how he put up with it for as long as he did.”
Lydia reaches out and squeezes Elise’s hand.
“He went overseas and I barely noticed he was gone. Then it turned into two whole weeks. It only hit me when the housekeeper said something and asked if everything was okay. It took a minute to figure out everything was not okay.” She sighs.
“I realized I had done it, done that thing I promised I wouldn’t do. I put the kids and mommy thing before him, before me even. Two hours later I was on our private plane out to see him. Ever since then I refuse to let all the noise out there matter to me, what other people think, what ‘they’ say you should and shouldn’t do. It’s about us, what’s right for me and Dmitri and our kids, and that’s all that matters.”