Niles huffed, and his breath tickled the sensitive skin on Rusty’s neck.
“I’m a little tipsy, but otherwise, yeah.”
“How’d you get here?”
“I took a Lyft.”
“I didn’t know there was Lyft in Bison Hills,” Rusty said stupidly. Niles licked his ear and then dropped to his knees.
“It’s not a third-world country.” Niles leaned forward like he was going to nuzzle Rusty’s crotch.
Rusty chubbed up in a second flat, and anger rushed through him. He gripped Niles by his shaggy hair and tipped his head back roughly. Niles moaned. Which did not help the whole boner situation. Niles’s pulse was visible on his neck, ticking wildly, and Rusty’s fingers itched to drag across it, to feel it fluttering against his palm. He wanted to hold Niles steady and cover his exposed throat with hickeys.
“What are you doing here?”
“Are you back with The Todd?” Niles asked, rather than answer his question.
The Todd?
“What the fuck? No, I’m not back with Todd. Why are you here?”
“It’s pretty obvious, isn’t it? I’m putting myself out there. I’m taking risks. Are you with someone else?”
“No,” Rusty gritted out as Niles’s hands landed on his thighs, kneading and caressing him. He shouldn’t allow this with so much anger coursing through him. “You think you can come here, blow me, and everything will go back to normal?”
“I know everything won’t go back to normal.” Niles slid his hands around to Rusty’s ass. “I don’t want it to go back to normal. I just want you to fuck my mouth. Clear enough?”
Rusty clenched his hands more tightly in Niles’s hair. And Jesus Christ, Niles was perfect on his knees. His lips were wet and open, his eyes already lust-glazed. Rusty wanted this. It didn’t matter that he was mad—hell, his anger was only making him hornier.
He pressed his thumb against Niles’s lips, and Niles immediately sucked it in. A moan fell unbidden from Rusty and echoed through the alley.
Oh shit. He was going to do this. He was going to have hate sex with the nicest, most insecure guy on the planet, and that made him a horrible person.
But he didn’t fucking care.
“Let go,” Rusty said, tugging his thumb gently from Niles’s mouth. He smeared the spit on his thumb around those dick-sucking lips and then across Niles’s cheek. “Are you too drunk for this?”
“No, not drunk at all,” Niles gasped. “I’m probably under the legal limit, but I’m a rule follower and was too scared to drive myself.”
Tenderness bloomed through Rusty, but he pushed it down. Niles didn’t get to be cute. It wasn’t fair.
“This doesn’t mean anything,” Rusty said pointedly. It couldn’t mean anything. Not with him moving in a matter of months. He tried to clear his head, hoping to banish that thought because it would ruin this, and he didn’t want to stop.
“Fine. Whatever you say,” Niles spat, heat and his own anger flashing through those beautiful dark eyes. He reached for Rusty’s pajama bottoms, but a car down the street backfired and they both jumped.
“Not out here,” Rusty choked out. He wrenched the door to his private stairwell open and dragged Niles inside.
The stairwell wasn’t exactly creepy. It was moderately well lit, and Rusty tried to keep it clear of bugs and critters. But in the grand scheme of things, it was a concrete stairwell, with concrete block walls, a metal door, dim lights, and concrete steps. Concrete wasn’t exactly sexy.
But Niles dropped right to his knees with his back to the metal door, and Rusty didn’t much care about location, not with Niles mouthing him through his pajama bottoms.
“You’re not running out of here without coming too,” he threatened because that would be so like Niles. He’d blow Rusty’s mind and then rush out while Rusty was still trying to assemble a clear thought.
“I’ll have to call for a ride. Pretty sure that kills any chance of a dramatic fleeing scene.”
Niles yanked Rusty’s pants down and then his boxer briefs. Rusty’s dick flopped out and tapped Niles on the chin. He would have been embarrassed by how achy and hard he was, but Niles moaned, “Oh, God, please,” and Rusty found he wasn’t embarrassed at all. Just a little pissed and a lot turned on.
“Suck me,” Rusty growled.
Niles skated his lips over Rusty’s cockhead and flicked his tongue in that one special spot that always made Rusty’s eyes roll back in his head. He thrust into Niles’s mouth because the slow and sweet was too much, too good, and it wasn’t at all what he wanted.
He pushed hard, but Niles took it in stride. The squeeze of his throat flung Rusty right to the edge, so he jerked out of Niles’s mouth to calm the hell down.
“Too fast,” Rusty panted, and Niles nodded, his head tipped back in supplication, his lips parted and picture-perfect. Rusty gripped him by the ears and leaned him backwards until his head rested against the metal door. Niles’s eyes fluttered closed and Rusty groaned. “Give me your hands.”
Niles lifted his arms up, and Rusty grabbed his chin with one hand and pressed his wrists to the cold steel with the other. He had no idea why he was being so controlling. It wasn’t normally his thing. He wasn’t used to taking, but, oh God, Niles wanted him to take. It was written all over his face.
“So hot, Rusty,” Niles whispered, pushing the point home. “Don’t stop.”
“I’m so mad at you,” Rusty choked.
“I know. I’m mad at you too. Now fuck my mouth already.”
A growl worked its way through Rusty’s chest and he fed Niles his tip.
“Lick it,” he demanded. Niles swirled his tongue around Rusty’s crown, and then sucked gently, exactly the way Rusty liked it.
It was too good, and Rusty wanted it to end and he wanted it to go on forever. It was like a river rushing over his head, cleansing him and drowning him at the same time. But the adrenaline, metallic and angry, pulsing through his veins won out, and he fucked Niles’s mouth harder.
And Niles sucked harder, milked Rusty’s length with his tongue, and welcomed him into his throat until Rusty couldn’t handle it anymore. Couldn’t deal with the pleasure or how hot Niles looked. When a noise like a sob fell from his mouth, right before he released into Niles’s throat, he could have died from embarrassment. But pleasure washed his vision gray, and Niles’s wrecked moan catapulted him into such a pit of need, he couldn’t find it in himself to care.
He didn’t care if Niles could see through him in that moment, could see his pain and the darkness of his emotions swirling inside him because it was heaven to have Niles’s hands in his. To be gripping Niles’s chin when he swallowed. To see his throat work and his eyelashes cast night shadows on his cheeks.
It was too perfect and over too quickly.
And a minute later, Rusty felt used up and empty.
Rusty seemed wrecked and Niles didn’t know what to do about it. For all intents and purposes, Rusty was in control—he was now cupping Niles’s cheek with one hand and still holding his wrists above his head with the other—but his eyes were dazed and full of vulnerability, like every one of his walls had tumbled down. Niles wanted to hug him, and maybe kiss a little.
He’d forgotten to kiss Rusty before he’d hit his knees, which was a shame because from the moment he had started drinking earlier, all he’d been able to think about was how he’d knock Rusty’s socks off with a kiss so sweet and incredible that he’d never want anyone besides Niles. Especially not fucking Todd.
Rusty released Niles’s wrists and almost pulled Niles into his arms but aborted the movement at the last second by taking a step back. And, well, fuck that. Niles wrapped his arms around Rusty’s shoulders, and Rusty shuddered but didn’t relax.
Niles wasn’t the only one who needed reassurance, and for once, maybe he could give rather than taking and then running away. Because that was his problem. He had been so worried about being used and feeling shitty afterward that he’d clos
ed himself off, and in the end, he’d used Rusty and made him feel awful. And yeah, Rusty should have told him about The Todd, but Niles shouldn’t have pushed him away at every moment of conflict.
“Will you come upstairs? My feet are getting cold,” Rusty said. Niles nodded into his shoulder, and for a brief moment, Rusty touched the back of his head. Maybe they would be fine after all.
Rusty led him upstairs, but once they were there, Niles didn’t know what to do. He stood at the counter and toyed with the buttons on his shirt while Rusty leaned against the kitchen island and stared at him.
“Want something to drink?” Rusty’s voice was flat, and Niles flushed.
“No. Do you want me to go? I don’t have to stick around.” Rusty certainly wasn’t acting like he wanted him there.
“That would be just typical of you.” The venom in Rusty’s voice made Niles’s stomach clench.
“I don’t know what you want me to do, Rusty. I don’t want to make you mad.”
“I’m already mad.” Rusty stepped into Niles’s space and pulled him forward by his ass. “I want to make you come. You okay with that?”
Niles whispered, “Yeah,” and Rusty bit his chin. Blood rushed in Niles’s ears as the sharp sting spread through him.
There was no way he was going to miss his chance to feel Rusty up as much as possible, so he snuck his hands under Rusty’s T-shirt. Rusty let him pull his shirt off, and his own shirt quickly followed. Then it felt like the most natural thing for Niles to lean in, press their chests together, and kiss Rusty. But it obviously wasn’t right for Rusty because he turned his head at the last second, and Niles’s lips fell on his bearded cheek instead.
“Oh,” Niles said.
Rusty had told him this didn’t mean anything and he’d made it clear he was angry, but until that moment, Niles hadn’t really gotten it. Hadn’t understood.
But now he did. This hookup wasn’t about reconnecting. It wasn’t about anything other than being horny and mad and good in bed together. And Niles’s self-respect, what little of it he had, flew right out the window because he didn’t give a shit. He’d take scraps if that was all he could get.
After a soft nudge from Rusty, they both stumbled toward his bedroom. Rusty might not want to kiss Niles on the mouth, but he didn’t seem to have trouble lavishing kisses over his shoulder blades or spine after bending him over and forcing him to plant his hands on the edge of the bed. Once his lips got to the small of Niles’s back, Rusty dropped to his knees behind him and unbuckled Niles’s jeans. Rusty helped him out of his shoes and then yanked his briefs down so Niles could kick the whole tumble of clothes away.
“This okay?” Rusty asked.
“Yes,” Niles whispered.
His arms almost gave out when Rusty gripped his ass cheeks, but instead of face planting, he spread his legs farther apart to make it easier for Rusty to get to that secret, intimate part of him.
He didn’t have to wait long. Rusty spread him open without hesitation and licked across his entrance. His arms did give out then, and he caught himself on his elbows, which tipped his ass more invitingly into Rusty’s face.
Rusty rumbled, “That’s it,” and then smacked one side of his ass. Niles’s cock throbbed when the small burst of pain hit him, and he gasped into the bedspread. The comforter smelled like Rusty. Like his spicy cologne and a little bit like his warm sleepy body, and Niles wanted to stay there forever, with his ass being licked open and face pressed into the bed of Rusty Adams.
Rusty worked his thumb into Niles’s ass and bit one of his cheeks. Niles’s legs started to shake, and he thought about sneaking a hand down to his cock, but he didn’t want this to end. It might be the last time he’d ever feel like this, ever feel cherished or important in bed, and he wasn’t going to rush it for anything.
“I’m going to get some lube. Is that okay?” Rusty asked. He ghosted a hand over Niles’s balls, and Niles’s knees buckled. Rusty caught his hips and righted him before he fell over.
“Yes. God.”
Niles could hear Rusty rifling around in his bedside table and then the pop as he opened the bottle of lube. Before Rusty even touched him again, Niles moaned, his whole body thrumming in anticipation.
Rusty licked him, which was fucking great, and then pushed a finger in without pausing to let Niles adjust. And it was exactly what he needed. A little dirty, a little demanding—just like the blowjob in the stairwell. Rusty nuzzled his face into the back of Niles’s leg and plunged his finger in harder until he was pegging Niles’s prostate with each pass.
Niles gripped Rusty’s bedspread, and tried not to thrash. Too good. It was too good. His balls tingled, and his cock grew heavier and needier. One touch and he’d fly apart.
“Fuck me,” Niles breathed. “Please, Rusty. I want you to fuck me.”
“Like this?” Rusty pressed a second finger into Niles’s ass. The stretch was fantastic, and got better when Rusty drove his fingers in harder.
“No. No. You … I want you.”
“Fine,” Rusty snarled and pulled his fingers out. Niles fell flat on his stomach in a daze. He didn’t know if Rusty’s harshness was the hottest thing ever or if it was going to rip his emotions to shreds, but then Rusty rubbed a gentle hand down his spine. “It’s okay. I’ve got you.”
Rusty maneuvered them both fully onto the bed with Niles still on his stomach, and then he rolled on a rubber and smeared on another dollop of lube.
Niles was sure Rusty was going to thrust in without another word, and part of him was excited by that, excited to be taken apart so completely, but the other part—the part that had always struggled letting others in—rebelled. He clenched, his back muscles strung tight, and Rusty placed a kiss in the middle of his spine.
“You told me once you’ve never liked this with another person,” Rusty whispered.
“I know,” Niles croaked. He wanted it so bad. He wanted to like it because if ever there was someone capable of making him feel wanted and free it was Rusty.
“Do you want me to stop? Or you could top.” Rusty humped his length against Niles’s crack, and Niles shuddered.
“No, please don’t stop. Fuck me,” he begged, shamelessly, his need overriding everything else.
Then Rusty pushed in hard, and Niles gasped into the mattress. Bright stars of pain burst in his vision, but Rusty ran his palms up and down his ribs until he could draw a breath.
“Shhh. I got you. Just breathe.”
Niles let out a stuttering breath as he adjusted, and Rusty managed to sink a little deeper into his body. They both groaned. Niles’s cock, which had softened at Rusty’s first thrust, thickened again, so he ground it against Rusty’s comforter.
“That’s it. Fuck back on me,” Rusty breathed against Niles’s shoulder blade. He bit down lightly, and Niles couldn’t help but arch into him as much as the position allowed. Rusty’s legs tangled with his in a hard clench and his stomach pressed against Niles’s spine. Niles squirmed, trying to get some push and pull to the hard weight in his ass, and the movement drove Rusty’s cock against his prostate.
“Guh. God. Rusty.” Niles’s whole body jerked, and pleasure tingled all the way to the tips of his fingers. “Please, fuck me.”
“Hell yeah,” Rusty groaned. He gripped Niles’s shoulder and drove into him with unhurried measured strokes.
“Oh, shit. Slow. You’re going … so slow,” Niles panted.
“Yeah, baby. You like it?”
Niles let out a strangled half cry, hoping Rusty would understand that yes, he really fucking liked it. His head spun with how much he liked it. Each thrust pushed Niles’s cock against the bed, and the moment Rusty sped up a little, Niles would fly apart.
“Nope. Not good enough. I wanna hear you say it,” Rusty demanded. “I wanna know that you love it.”
He reduced his thrusting to a grinding swivel, and Niles couldn’t help but tighten around him. Then Rusty groaned and bit him hard on the knob at the top of his spin
e. Niles’s orgasm teetered ever closer.
“Say it.” Rusty stopped completely, and Niles trembled. Rusty’s cock was huge and hard, and he had never felt so full. He’d never been so close to the edge without tipping over.
He could barely breathe. How the hell was he supposed to talk?
“More,” Niles finally choked. “Love it … Oh fuck.” Niles’s fingers scrambled on the bedspread, trying to find purchase, because Rusty was finally holding him down and fucking him into the mattress. They both moaned, and hearing that wrecked sound from Rusty’s mouth loosened Niles’s tongue. Loosened it too much. Because suddenly he was babbling, his words broken and nonsensical. “Yes … Love it, Rusty. Love it … Oh, God … Love you … It’s too good.”
His words caught up to him, and he cried out in anguish and embarrassment. But Rusty pressed him harder into the bed, his whole body against Niles’s back, and then gasped, “Yes, Niles. Oh hell yes,” into Niles’s neck.
The slight change in angle was too much. And Niles’s words were more than he could handle. So he let his body fall into an orgasm, thankful of the way it washed out his vision and his mind and filled his body with thunder.
He was still shaking and pulsing when Rusty pulled out and flipped him onto his back. He gripped Rusty’s thick thighs and tried not to curl in on himself as the dredges of his release rushed through him. Rusty ripped off his condom, jacked himself a handful of times, and then sprayed his spunk across Niles’s chest.
“Oh fuck, you look so sexy like that,” Rusty groaned and ran his fingertips through the come pooling on Niles’s chest and stomach.
He’d totally exposed himself by saying those words, so he couldn’t even enjoy Rusty’s sated smile. Tremors gripped him, and he stared at Rusty in horror. He was so stupid. If Rusty hadn’t been pinning him down, he would have been out of this fucking apartment before Rusty could blink. Tears threatened to leak out of his eyes, and his shaking grew more violent.
“Hey, whoa. It’s okay, Niles.” Rusty lay down on top of him until they were pressed together everywhere, and their faces were so close that Rusty’s labored breath feathered across his lips. “It’s okay.”
Life on Pause Page 17