Too upset to speak, she hurried out the door, as if she could flee rumor and gossip and the mess she had made of her life, and the danger in which she had put her family, and Connor’s, too.
She couldn’t face Rennick now. Not yet. There was time for her to tell him what must be. First, she would find Connor. She needed to see him, to be with him. To ask him to leave and say a last farewell.
She slowed to a walk. She had cast aside honor to be with him, and dared to hope. Honor and hope were dashed; the least she could do was try to maintain her dignity.
But she didn’t want to be dignified. She wanted to throw herself to the ground and wail and rend her clothes, screaming her anguish, demanding that God take pity on her and smite her enemies—
The door to the chapel opened and Auberan came out.
She could not bear to see or speak with Auberan. She ducked inside the garden and closed the gate.
Turning, her breath caught in her throat as she saw Connor. The walls around her heart quivered, then shook, and a great breach opened and her love for him poured out and through her, burning fierce and bright when he saw her and jumped to his feet.
She ran to him and threw her arms about him, holding him as if she would never let him go. She didn’t want to let him go, now or ever. Only the safety of their families could come between them, and it had.
Slowly, reluctantly, she stepped back, her gaze searching his face, determined to memorize his features so they would always be in her mind. Cold comfort, but better than none.
“I know what has happened, that the baron has been given guardianship of you and Edmond and Isabelle.” He gently pulled her into his comforting embrace. “Come away with me, Allis,” he whispered, his breath light and warm on her cold cheek. “You and your brother and sister. I’ve been sitting here thinking about it, and that is what you must do. It is the only way we can be together and your family safe.”
Even as she held him as if her life depended on it, Rennick’s threat sounded in her ears and she shook her head. “I cannot. We cannot.”
“You must!”
“If we do, Rennick will hunt us down and destroy us—and your family, too, Connor.”
His embrace tightened. “He can’t!”
“He can, and he will. There is only one way to keep everyone I love safe, Connor. I have to marry him, as I have already pledged.”
He drew back and the pain in his eyes was like her own. “No! I won’t let you throw yourself away on that dog. As you love me, you must come away with me. I will protect you and both our families with my last breath, if need be.”
She reluctantly shook her head. “Against Rennick your martial skills will not be enough. He will not come at you directly the next time, with a lance or sword, but he will find a way.”
“Poison?” he suggested. “Such as something to make a young man’s heart fail?”
Of course! She should have seen this, too! She had truly been a blind fool.
“I know the kind of man he is,” Connor said, his deep voice full of confidence as he rested his hand on the hilt of his sword, “and that knowledge means we can protect ourselves.”
How she wished it could be so simple! “Against the assassins his money can buy? He will stop at nothing to be avenged.”
“You fear him that much?”
“I know him that well.”
“He is not above the law, Allis. He is not above the king and the king’s court.”
“What good will the king’s justice be to any of us if we are dead?” She took her beloved’s face between her hands and as she looked into his wonderful eyes full of love for her, she willed him to understand. “My love, my dearest love, nothing but the threat of death against all those I care about would make me give you up and marry Rennick DeFrouchette.”
Connor gathered her into his arms. “There must be another way,” he murmured fervently, his lips against her cheek.
“Not without risk to everyone we hold dear.”
“Then you will not come with me?”
“Oh, my love!” she cried, her voice breaking with grief. “If it were only the two of us I had to consider, I would not hesitate. But I have to think of Edmond and Isabelle, as you must think of your brother and sister—four other people, Connor, who have done nothing to deserve trouble except be related to us. I cannot put them in jeopardy because of what I want. Can you?”
Hurt and dismayed, he twisted away from her. “I have done it before, have I not? I have spoken and acted with no thought to anyone but myself, and my wounded feelings and betrayed ideals. You stand here telling me what I must do, as if I cannot make a sacrifice. Is that what you truly think of me, Allis? That I do not comprehend duty and sacrifice?”
“No, that is not what I think. You are chivalrous, and understand duty and sacrifice better than many a man, for you have tried to repair your past mistakes. If you were selfish, you would not be risking your life in tournaments to pay your family’s debts. But there is one more sacrifice you must make, Connor, for your family’s sake, as I make it for mine.”
A sob caught in her throat, and the sound ripped into him like a dagger.
“And I hope you may yet be full of dreams, and hope. That someday you will know love and happiness again, Connor, because I never will. When you leave, you will take my love and happiness and all my dreams with you. We have had a time in paradise on earth, however brief, and that is more than most people will ever have. But now it is over. You must leave here and never come back.”
As he enfolded her trembling body in his arms, he knew that he would never break her resolve. The strength he had so admired was now marshaled against him, and she would never yield. She would do what she must to protect others, no matter how much she loved him or the cost to her own happiness.
He could not make her be less than she was.
“Never is a very long time to stay away from you,” he whispered, his own voice breaking.
“For my sake, it must be so. Please do not come back. I couldn’t bear to see you and be reminded of what I have lost.”
“Isn’t this touching?” Rennick slammed the gate shut. “Let go of my bride, Welshman.” Connor kissed his beloved’s forehead. Then he faced their enemy and smiled his dangerous smile as he drew his sword, ready to kill for her freedom, or die in the attempt. “Make me.”
“No,” she commanded, stepping between them. She turned to him, her eyes blazing with passionate determination. “Connor, if you kill him, you will be brought before the king’s court—before Richard. It will not go well with you, not after what we have done. People already suspect we are lovers, and they will believe you killed Rennick to have me.”
His blood boiling with the longing to do battle, he did not care what happened to him, as long as she was free of this parasite. “They would be right.”
“The charge would be murder, Connor, and you would be executed.”
“I would be saving you from this blackguard and defending myself.”
“Is that how it would look to Lord Oswald and other Norman nobles, or like you killed the man I was to marry for our own selfish, dishonorable desire? Can you expect them to sympathize or understand?” She clasped her hands together in supplication. “Please, Connor, put up your sword and go. Do not risk a disgraceful death for me. The only thing that will give me any happiness in the time to come is knowing that you live.”
“Listen to her, Welshman,” Rennick sneered, “and take the opportunity to leave while you can. I am a patient man, as Allis well knows, but even mine eventually wears thin.”
Allis looked at Connor with love and blatant yearning, as well as hopeless despair. “Go, Connor, and live for me.”
Their gazes met and held as they had that first night. But this moment stretched into an eternity of regret and longing. She could not be his, not while Rennick DeFrouchette stood between them, yet he must do as she asked—or seem to. Regardless of Rennick, he pulled her into his arms and kissed her passionately
. His kiss was a promise and a pledge, even if she did not know that.
But as he had sat in the garden where they had first kissed, he had made a plan. He would save her by going to the king and seeking his help, even though doing so would be risking his life. Richard might make good his threat to have him charged with treason and executed for daring to come into his presence again, but that was a risk he was willing to take.
“Good-bye, my love,” he murmured as he broke the kiss.
“God go with you,” she whispered, choking back a sob. “My love, my heart.”
“Since I am willing to be merciful, Welshman,” Rennick growled, “I will give you until the noon tomorrow to be gone from Montclair.”
As Connor stepped away from Allis, he smiled once more—coldly, deliberately. He knew as well as DeFrouchette that great harm could be done without raising a weapon. “I go now because Allis asks me to, but I swear before God, His Son and all the host of heaven, that I will not forget you and what you have done. Do not sleep too soundly. You are not the only one who knows how to bring death swiftly, before a man’s proper time.”
Rennick colored and his hand moved toward his sword. “If I die unexpectedly before my marriage to your lover, you will be suspected.”
Connor walked slowly toward him. “You assume I have no patience, do you? That I am still that impetuous young man who dared to upbraid his king? Well, perhaps I am, and so if I ever hear that you have harmed the woman I love, or any of her family—if you render her sacrifice useless—I may impetuously come for you and just as impetuously kill you.”
“Get out!”
Connor bowed insolently, then he gave Allis one last, longing look before he strode from the garden.
The gate slammed shut, like the thunderclap of heaven, ending her paradise on earth with a blow that smashed her heart.
But then, as Rennick crept toward her like an upright snake, so different from Connor, the broken remnants of her heart shifted and reassembled into something stronger, bolder, more resolute than before, forged in the heat of her passion and tempered by the elements conspiring against them.
Before, she had been a coward, despite all her words about duty and sacrifice. She had feared not what Rennick DeFrouchette would do, but what he might do.
Connor was right. She had doubted his ability to protect her and her family. She had not trusted him, or been willing to count on anybody except herself, despite all that he had said and the love she claimed to feel for him. Instead she had renewed her promise to marry this odious blackguard standing before her now.
What a fool she had been not to accept Connor’s love and protection! But it was not too late. He was still here in Montclair and she could go to him, and bring Edmond and Isabelle, too. Let Rennick have Montclair; he would not have them.
Rennick continued to ooze toward her, sly and slick. “So Allis, now we will have no more foolishness.”
Blatant, greedy lust gleamed in his cold blue eyes, but she was not afraid of him anymore, not even when he grabbed her and hauled her close. “Let go of me, Rennick.”
He eyed her, wary and surprised. “You are mine, Allis, to do with what I will.”
“The chivalrous Baron DeFrouchette! Do you think to rape the lady of Montclair?”
The lust glimmered in his eyes as he shook his head. “Rape? No. I am not going to put my seed in you until I am sure you’re not with that lout’s child.”
He shoved her away so hard, she fell to the ground. He put his foot on her back and pressed her body down. “There are other ways you can pleasure me that will not get you with child, Allis, but not now. Still, it’s nice to see you groveling at my feet, where you belong.” He pushed down harder. “Remember this position, Allis. As my wife, that is where you had better imagine yourself, or it will be all the worse for your brother and sister. Now go and change your gown. That is no fit way for a lady to look.”
He left the garden, and after the gate closed behind him, she slowly got to her feet.
Rennick believed he had won.
More fool he.
Chapter 23
Careful not to wrench his left arm, Connor tore out the pegs holding down the sides of his tent, then tossed them into a leather pouch on the ground nearby. In the diminishing daylight, Demetrius whinnied as if shocked by the violence of his actions, but he ignored his horse as he started to haul the fabric off the poles. They were leaving as soon as he could take down his tent and gather his things, for he couldn’t let Allis marry that disgusting, loathsome, greedy nobleman and he knew what he must do. His pride, his honor, his life—he was willing to give anything for her freedom.
Out of the corner of his eye, he realized someone was approaching. Begrudging any interruption, he looked impatiently over his shoulder to see Lord Oswald sweeping across the grass of the ward.
“I have heard that you have been ordered to leave by the noon tomorrow. You do not look to be waiting even that long.”
Connor let go of the tent fabric. “I want to be on my way as soon as possible,” he said, in too great a hurry to couch his words in the mantle of calm politeness.
“I think that is for the best. Where will you go? Home to Llanstephan?”
He saw no need to tell anyone his plan, not even Lord Oswald. If Allis learned what he intended to do, and he failed, he would be adding to her despair. “No, my lord.”
“Ah. Too difficult, eh? Your justified denunciation of the king has caused them much suffering. In that case, I invite you to stay at my home in Wessex until you are healed.”
This offer was completely unforeseen, unexpected and unusual enough to raise his suspicions. “What will the baron think? You are his friend, and you invite his enemy to your home?”
Lord Oswald smiled. “The baron doesn’t have to know about it, does he? I certainly won’t tell him.” The nobleman clapped a beefy arm about his shoulder. “I am saddened by all that has happened to you at our greedy sovereign’s hands.”
Connor’s mind urged caution as Lord Oswald removed his hand. “It might have been better for me never to have left my home in the first place.”
“Oh, a fine warrior like you would never have been content to stay in Wales! Yet you could have avoided the Crusade and fought for a better cause. I’m sure many a king or lord would have paid well for your services.”
To suggest that he should have been enriching himself instead of freeing the Holy City from the infidel added to his doubts about the man before him, for it was not with the purpose of the Crusade he quarreled, as least in the beginning. It was the leadership of the army that first caused him to question the supposedly holy mission. “What better cause, my lord?”
Oswald leaned closer. “A better king for England.”
Maybe this was a test of his loyalty—a notion that filled him with ire. He had spoken the truth to Richard’s face out of outraged ideals, not thwarted ambition or greed. “Such talk is treason, my lord.”
“After all Richard has done, you would still be loyal to a man who has robbed and wronged you? Aye, and England, too?”
If Oswald blamed Richard for his brother’s death, that could drive him to vengeance, yet to plot against God’s anointed king was heinous treason. “I am a loyal subject of my king, my lord.”
“But in your heart, you agree with me, I think,” Oswald prompted. “And the man who would rid England of this blight of a ruler who is bleeding it dry could be sure that there are those who would reward him, perhaps who would even see to it that he be given that which he desires most.”
This was an offer, plain and simple: kill Richard, and Allis would be his.
Temptation, hot as fire, strong as a desert whirlwind, flashed through him. Kill Richard, the vainglorious bane of his life, and he could have Allis for his wife, to love and cherish always. It sounded so simple, so easy.
“You need make no decision today, Connor. Go to my estate in Wessex and consider. But if you do decide to help England, you will be rewarded, that I
promise.”
“Yes, my lord. I understand, and I thank you for the offer of your hospitality.”
His eyes glittering with pleasure, Oswald smiled. “The least I can do, my boy. Now if you will excuse me, the dew is not good for my old bones. This invitation is, of course, between the two of us, so say nothing to anyone as you go.”
“I will not, my lord.”
Edmond rubbed his sleepy eyes and nearly tripped as Allis led him to the bedchamber she shared with Isabelle.
“It’s the middle of the night,” he protested, yawning. “What are you doing?”
“Hush until I’ve got the door closed. I’ll explain when we’re alone,” Allis whispered, and the intensity and tension in her voice silenced his whining. They had to be quiet if they were to succeed.
Once in the bedchamber, Edmond blinked in the bright moonlight, then stared at Isabelle who sat upon her bed, fully clothed. He was dressed only in his long shirt and stockings.
“What’s going on, Allis?” he demanded, more awake now as he faced her. “Haven’t you made enough trouble already?”
“Yes, I have. And I’m not finished yet.” She saw their uncertainty and smiled to reassure them. After all, she had never roused them in the middle of the night before to take them from their home and all they knew.
Edmond looked at Isabelle. “What’s she talking about?”
Isabelle shrugged her shoulders, puzzlement on her face. “I have no idea. She woke me up and told me to dress, then said she was going to fetch you. Before I could ask questions, she was gone. What are you doing, Allis?”
“We are going to go away with Connor, and we must leave before dawn, so you must dress.” She pulled some clothing from a large leather pouch she had hidden beneath her bed. In it she had put some of their clothing, and all their jewels, leaving room for food they would get from the kitchen as they fled. “While you were eating, I was gathering some of our things to take with us.”
“What?” Edmond cried as Isabelle gaped. “Go where? Why? I don’t want to go anywhere.”
The Maiden and Her Knight Page 25