by True, Holli
“Unbelievable, I thought you were smarter than that,” he muttered under his breath, casting a disgusted look her way.
Tell him to leave, I willed Hailey. But she didn’t.
“Apparently we’re both idiots,” he continued.
“Make him stop,” I warned Ethan through clenched teeth.
“Why should I?” Ethan countered, flashing me a wicked grin. “I think he’s just getting started.” He stepped around Matt, squaring his shoulders off to mine as he looked me up and down, as though he was sizing me up. “You don’t look so good, Trabor.”
“Back off.” It was the only warning I would offer before taking action.
Completely unaware of us being there, Hailey fired off at Matt like a cannon. “First of all, Matt, you have no right to talk to me that way. Second, who I date, or choose to love for that matter, is entirely my decision. Not yours or anyone else’s. You don’t get to come in here and try to make me feel bad or insult me.”
“I’m sorry,” Matt said, though he didn’t sound it.
Hailey continued, ignoring his failed attempt at an apology. “I thought you were a good guy. Maybe we are both idiots.”
“Stop, Hailey. I said I’m sorry.”
Hailey shook her head, “You know, all you seem to do these days is apologize. But you’ve become such an ass, I don’t even want to know you anymore.”
“Well, at least I haven’t been lying to you the entire time.” Matt’s words were cold and laced with resentment.
Ethan raised a brow, a slow smirk growing.
I knew exactly what Matt was getting at. Make him leave, I willed her again, this time with more force.
She looked completely unaffected by my words, she didn’t even hesitate to press him for more details. “What are you talking about?”
“Jonah. He’s lying to you. He’s been lying to you the entire time.”
Don’t listen to him!
“He’s not registered here, Hailey. He’s never even been a student. I looked into it because I thought he seemed shady and I was right. They have no record of a Jonah Trabor. Ever.”
A small, nearly silent gasp escaped Hailey’s lips, the news, no doubt, a shock to hear. But she recovered quickly, “You’re lying.”
“Actually, I’m not. You can check for yourself.” Matt shrugged, his stance and tone had calmed significantly in the few minutes that had passed. “It didn’t really matter when I thought he was gone, but now I think you should know.”
Don’t listen! I wanted to destroy both Matt and Ethan, silence them once and for all. The rage building inside of me was becoming impossible to contain, distracting me to the point that I couldn’t think straight anymore.
“Well,” Ethan murmured to himself, “I think our job here is done.” He circled around Matt, moving toward the door, his eyes fixated on Hailey.
“Here,” Matt held out a rumpled piece of paper at Hailey, she hesitated before accepting it from him. “Notes from Mills class yesterday. I can see you’re not going today either, so I’ll stop back by this evening with today’s. We have a test on Monday.”
She sighed softly, “Thank you for doing that.”
He nodded, saying nothing more before exiting her room, leaving her and I both reeling.
. . .
“We need to talk.”
I wasn’t surprised to have Hailey greet me this way, she had been stewing all day. Masking my expectant expression with a surprised one would have been pointless, so I didn’t even bother. Instead, I took a deep breath and walked through the door she was holding open for me, back into the room I’d already been confined to all day.
It was hard to look at her, seeing the pain in her eyes, so I didn’t turn to face her. “How are you feeling?” I asked, already knowing the answer.
“Better,” she said softly. “You?”
“I’m fine.”
I heard the faint sound of her feet moving across the thin layer of carpet, but I didn’t turn to look. There was no doubt in my mind she was about to ask me questions I couldn’t answer, which meant I’d either be forced to lie or not respond at all. I didn’t care for either option, but there was little else I could offer her.
“I had almost given up on you,” she finally said, she was right behind me now. “I can’t lie, I’m surprised you actually showed up at all.”
“I said I’d be here.”
You could cut the tension with a knife. The mood was vastly different than the night before, it was stifling. I could feel her eyes on me, but I still wasn’t prepared to face her.
She paused. “Yes, but you have this way of disappearing at a moments notice.”
I said nothing.
“In fact, it got me a little curious about where you go, considering you’re a student and all. You can’t exactly come and go as you please, you know, with classes and everything. What did you say you were you majoring in, again?”
“I didn’t, so you can just stop.”
“Stop what?” she asked coldly.
“Stop trying to lie your way to the truth.”
She shook her head at me, “Why?”
“Because you’re a terrible liar,” I said flatly.
“And you’re a very good one.”
I shook my head slowly, “I never wanted to lie to you, Hailey.”
“But you did.” She stepped around, taking a stand directly before me, forcing me to look at her. “And now I don’t trust you.”
“Good. You shouldn’t,” I said.
She flinched at my words, they obviously stung. But she was right not to trust me.
“You are seriously messed up, do you know that?”
Her words ripped my heart out of my chest. The pain was excruciating.
“Hailey...”
“How could you lie to me?”
“There was nothing else I could do. And that is the truth.”
Tears welled up in her eyes, slowly spilling over the ledge, leaving a trail down her cheeks. I couldn’t help myself, I reached out to wipe them away, but she turned her face away from me, denying my silent request to touch her. My hand immediately withdrew, aching for her.
“I thought I knew you,” she mumbled.
“You do.”
“How can you say that?” The pain in her eyes was evident, “I only know the lies.”
“No. You know me, Hailey. There are certain things I can’t tell you, that I can’t be honest with you about. But don’t mistake it, you know me, better than I know myself sometimes.”
“I don’t know what to believe,” she brushed away more tears, keeping her eyes away from mine.
“Believe this, I love you. More than I have ever loved anyone or anything.” I lifted my hand up to her chin, nudging it my way so I could see her beautiful face. “There is nothing I wouldn’t do for you.”
“Then tell me the truth.”
I felt so helpless. I wanted to give into her, give her everything she was asking for. There was nothing I would love more than to share every part of who I was with her, just as she had unknowingly done with me her entire life. She had earned it, hadn’t she? But what could I say without breaking every rule I had been designed to live by?
“I can’t promise you that I can answer every question you have, but I can try. I’ll be as honest as I possibly can.”
She didn’t look convinced.
“Please, Hailey.” I pleaded with her, “Give me a chance to make this right with you.”
She hesitated for a moment, sighing heavily. She wiped away the rest of her tears with the back of her hand and slowly made her way to her bed, where she sat down. With her other hand, she pointed to Shayne’s bed, indicating she wanted me to sit across from her. I did as directed, relieved she hadn’t thrown me out.
After a long silence, she finally spoke, “Is your real name Jonah?”
“Yes.”
“Trabor?” she verified.
“Trabor,” I confirmed.
“Where do you live?”
“Nearby.”
She shook her head with pursed lips, “Not good enough.”
“Close enough to walk here,” I offered.
She raised an eyebrow, processing my words. “That’s not a very tough question.”
“Tough enough,” I cautioned.
It took her a moment to ask her next question, “Why do you keep disappearing?”
It was my turn to hesitate. Her question was huge and it had such a complex answer, I didn’t even know where to begin. Every time I opened my mouth to speak, nothing came out.
“Is it because of me?” she asked softly.
My eyes flickered to hers, an unspoken answer to her question. She frowned.
“Why?” she whispered.
“Because loving you scares me.” I looked down at my hands, feeling vulnerable and more transparent than I had ever been. I was baring my heart to her and my greatest fear was that she would reject my offering.
I heard her catch her breath, when my eyes met hers, they revealed a new sadness in them. I wanted nothing more than to reassure her and kiss away her fears, but I couldn’t. Not without a signal from her that she was ready to forgive me for all that I had done.
She slowly rose from the bed and walked the few steps to where I sat, stopping just in front of me. Saying nothing, she wrapped her arms around me, pulling me close against her. This was the only cue I needed. My desperate arms wrapped tightly around her waist, pulling her even closer so I could rest my forehead against her rib cage. The gentle, methodical rhythm of her heartbeat calmed me. I could spend forever with her there.
Her hands slowly caressed the back of my neck, traveling upward into my hair. The sensation awakened all of my senses, lighting a fire inside of me. If she only knew what she did to me.
“Losing you scares me,” she said tenderly, her very words caressing my soul.
“I’ll always be here, Hailey. Always.”
- 15 -
human
HAILEY
I sighed heavily and slumped into the vacant chair next to Shayne at the table she was sitting at. I was drenched from my walk back to the dorm from the dance studio. The relentless rain had soaked through my clothes and my hair was dripping down my back. My jeans felt clingy and cold and were growing increasingly uncomfortable by the second. My sweater had increased in weight by a few pounds due to the moisture and was now hugging my body in the most unflattering way. I was miserable.
“You look happy,” Shayne provoked me with her sarcasm.
I glared at her. She giggled to herself as she scooped the last spoonful of yogurt from the container, glancing sideways at me.
“Bad day,” I grumbled, my mood matched the grey skies outside. I rubbed my own shoulders, trying to stretch my neck, “I’m still too sore to dance. I swear, I feel like I got hit by a bus.”
Shayne gave me a sympathetic smile, “Give it a few more days.”
“I’m losing patience.”
“Well, maybe you should avoid running in the dark?” She was very amused with herself.
I didn’t smile. “Lesson learned.” I leaned forward, resting my elbows on the table. “My body is paying for my stupidity, trust me.”
Shayne distracted herself with her phone for a few minutes. When she set it down on the table, she smiled at me coyly, “Matt says he hopes you feel better soon.”
“Speaking of stupidity,” I mumbled under my breath.
Shayne laughed, “Spoken like a true second grader. You should write him a hate note so he can retaliate by pulling your pigtails.”
“He pissed me off.”
“Wow,” Shayne raised her eyebrows, “sexual tension much?”
“No. Absolutely not,” I said flatly.
“If you say so.”
“Shayne,” I shook my head firmly. “No. You have it all wrong.”
“Maybe not for you, but he’s so hung up on you, it’s kinda pitiful.” She shrugged her shoulders.
“Pitiful is right. He must be getting desperate if he’s resorting to texting my friends.”
She ignored me, tucking a short, blonde strand of hair behind her ear. “He’s not happy about Jonah.”
I groaned, “I don’t care if he’s happy.” I wasn’t sure what he had said to her about Jonah, though I was pretty sure he hadn’t held back too many details.
“We just don’t want to see you get hurt again.”
“We? Nice.” I rolled my eyes, absolutely appalled. “So, is this some sort of intervention or something?”
“Hailey, we’re your friends.”
“You’re my friend,” I corrected her, crossing my arms in front of me. “I revoked Matt’s right to call me that after the stunt he pulled yesterday.”
“You mean covering your ass by taking notes for you?” She gasped for dramatic effect, “The nerve!”
It was my turn to ignore her. This was getting out of hand and I was exhausted by the constant, unwelcome opinions. “Look, I don’t try to run any of your lives. You want to party? Then party. You want to drink? Drink. You want to stay out all night long doing God knows what? Have at it! But stop trying to control my life and interject your unwanted input on my relationship.”
“Hailey-” Shayne tried to interrupt, but I cut her off.
“You don’t like Jonah. Fine, I get it. But I love him, Shayne. As my friend, I wish you would just support that.”
She sighed softly to herself and leaned forward, her eyes locked on mine. “Of course I support you.”
“That’s all I’m asking you to do,” I said softly. I was relieved to have her support, even if she was giving it reluctantly.
“But, I have to ask you... Do you trust him?”
My suspicions were instantly confirmed, Matt had shared his information with her. Not surprising. I took a deep breath and chose my words carefully, “Yes, I trust him. We had a long talk yesterday and all of the things that I was uncertain about before, I’m not now.”
“So he admitted that he lied to you?”
“Honestly, it’s between Jonah and I.”
Shayne didn’t look satisfied with my response. “Did he tell you why he lied?”
“He did. And it’s a lot more innocent than you think.”
“Yeah, but he still lied to you. How can you be okay with that?”
I shrugged, “ Aren’t we all guilty of lying about something? I have yet to meet anyone who exposes all of who they are to anyone. I know I don’t.”
Shayne looked away for a moment and then down at her hands, which were pressed together on the table. She remained silent for a few moments and then finally lifted her eyes to mine again. “I guess you’re right, Hailey. It is between you and him. It’s none of my business.” She sounded sincere enough that I believed her. “But, I’m warning you, if he breaks your heart again, I’m going to break him.”
“I’m not sure that’s possible,” I said with a small laugh, considering Jonah’s massive frame, compared to Shayne’s petite body.
“I know he makes you happy, Hailey.”
My heart swelled in my chest. “He really does.”
“Then I can give him a second chance,” she said, sounding sincere.
“Thank you, Shayne. I promise, once you have a chance to really get to know Jonah, you’ll like him. I’ve never met another guy like him.”
Shayne’s brow raised, she looked intrigued. “Does he have any hot, single friends? A twin brother maybe?”
I couldn’t help but giggle, “I’ll see what I can do.”
. . .
Five minutes. I took a deep breath and retrieved my makeup bag from my cubby in the backroom. I rushed to the restroom and quickly examined my reflection in the mirror. Jonah would be arriving to meet me at work in just a few minutes, which didn’t give me much time to freshen up.
I applied a new layer of mascara and lip gloss in thirty seconds flat, a new record. That would have to do. My hair was the bigger problem. It had been in a braid all day and was l
ooking pretty tragic. I loosened the braid as quick as I could, using my fingers as a comb to separate the wavy strands. Much better, I thought to myself. Not bad for a three minute makeover.
With only a minute to spare, I swiftly removed my apron and shoved it into my cubby, along with my makeup bag. Off went my coffee-splattered t-shirt and on went one of my favorite sweaters. I smoothed out the soft, cream fabric and walked calmly to the doorway, where I would have a perfect view of the entrance. Gathering all of my hair to one side, exposing my right shoulder fully, which I hoped would catch Jonah’s attention.
I leaned back against the door frame and tried to look calm, as though I wasn’t just running around the cafe like a crazy person only moments before. Trying to appear as casual as possible, I pretended to examine my nail polish. Only I wasn’t wearing any. Oops.
Right on time, I heard a soft tapping on the glass of the door. When I looked up to see him, I was greeted with a warm smile, which sent tingles down to my toes. It may have been the way the light from inside the cafe spilled onto him in the darkness, but seeing him stole the very breath from within my lungs. I never took my eyes off of his as I walked to the door and unlocked the latch. The blast of winter air felt exhilarating against my flushed skin, leaving a trail of goosebumps on my exposed flesh.
“Hey,” he said softly, the left side of his mouth curved upward into a smirk.
A small shiver ran down my spine. I wasn’t sure if it was a reaction to the cold or his perfect mouth.
“Hi,” I said through my lashes, struggling to look away from his lips.
“I hope you haven’t been waiting long,” he said apologetically, maintaining the half smile.
“Not really,” I said with a small wave of the hand, silently grateful he hadn’t arrived a moment sooner. I continued, “You just missed Rebecca, she had a date to get ready for.”
“It’s really starting to come down out there,” Jonah said, glancing out the window.
I nodded in agreement. He was wet, nothing like I had been earlier that day, but likely cold from his walk to the shop. “Black coffee?” I offered with a sly smile. It made me think of the first time he’d come to Fresh Press. It felt like a lifetime ago, though it had only been a few months.