by Izzy Shows
Getting locked in with a werewolf wasn't a good idea. Not that I really had anything but bad ideas.
"The living room's a mess, I thought we might go into the study," he said, and I nodded my head. No reason to argue with that. We walked farther into the house, taking a turn down a hallway and ending up in his study. I had the feeling I would get lost trying to get out on my own, but I told myself I didn't need to think about that just now.
I'm hanging out with a friend. Nothing is going to go wrong.
"How has your day been?" He sat down behind the desk and I took a chair in front of it, the solid oak forming a barrier between us.
I grimaced. "That's actually what I'm here about."
"Ah, so no pleasantries to get out of the way? No pretenses of you paying me a pleasure visit?" On the surface his words were light, easy, but I could hear the strain under them.
He knew he was under scrutiny and he didn't like it. I couldn't blame him. Who wouldn't react that way, to be on trial for just existing? I felt for him, but I couldn't allow that to affect the way I faced this situation.
"I'm sorry, but no, this is another business call."
"I'm starting to see that that's all I'm going to get from you."
I offered him a weak grin. "If we get this out of the way, I could promise you a no strings attached hang out where we don't talk about business the entire time?"
He visibly relaxed. "I'd like that," he said. "I don't have a lot in the way of friends, Blair, and I'd like to change that."
Good. I could always use another friend, especially one who understood what I was and the demands that came with being me. I hoped we would get through this in one piece. I hoped that I wouldn't have to kill him.
"On to business then," he said, waving a hand at me.
"Yes. There's been another attack."
He kept his face as still as stone as he processed that information.
"Should I even pretend that I don't know what this has to do with me?"
"It'd be easier on both of us if you didn't," I said, wincing. "I know. I know this is awful, Geoff, but please try to see it from my side. From a clinical view, and I hate the idea of having to be clinical with you, your alibi just isn't very strong. You're the only werewolf in London, and I've ruled out the shifters. There's just nothing else around that could be doing this. It's the only logical conclusion."
He nodded, tapping a finger idly on the oak desk. "So, why are you here, talking to me, instead of coming after me?"
I held my breath for a moment before letting it out in a rush. "Because, I find it hard to believe. Because, I want you to be able to explain it away. Because, I don't want to come after you."
"You make a very bad cop, you know that?"
I grinned. "So my friend tells me. But I'm going to need more than that to clear your name," I said.
"I have but one defense left, I see, and it is not one that I would easily give up," he said, choosing his words carefully. I tensed, uncertain what was going to happen next. Was he going to jump across the desk, shift midair, rip my throat out?
Calm down, Blair, none of that is happening.
"What?"
"A mind meld," he said, lifting his chin almost defiantly.
I frowned. I'm sure that was supposed to be more dramatic than it felt, and it was all my fault for not having a clue what he was talking about. "I'm sorry, a what?"
His features relaxed again, and he smiled. "A mind meld, Blair. It's a very intimate thing, where you can see into my soul, and I yours. You will see me as I am, judge me, and determine if I am the thing you are looking for."
I sucked in a breath, staring down at the ground. Yep, I was right, that was definitely dramatic.
"You would see my soul?" I all but squeaked the words out.
"Yes. As I said, not something I would easily turn to, but it seems this would be the only way to assure you of my innocence. And, so that you can know some of your own history, it is not an unusual tool for magical enforcers to use. In fact, there was a day when they were common practice. I hear that after so many people see your soul, it gets easier. I have not experienced this."
Experienced it getting easier, or experienced the mind meld at all? I wanted to ask, but somehow it felt rude. Prying. But that was what he was asking me to do, pry into his very soul and see what was left of it and judge him for it. Could I do that to him?
I didn't want to. But he was right; what option was left?
Taking in a deep breath, I stood up. "OK, how does this work?"
He cleared his throat. "Best to remain seated, you don't want to fall down. Here, I'll come to you," he said, standing up and walking around the desk to take a seat in the chair next to me. I sat down again and he motioned for me to turn my chair to the side. He did the same, and we were soon facing one another.
I could feel my heart in my throat, so anxious was I about doing something so...unknown. And in an unknown place. No one knew where I was.
Was this going to backfire on me?
He lifted his hands and motioned for me to lean forward, I did so, and he grasped my temples with his fingers. "Do as I do," he said, his voice oddly calm. I mirrored him, placing my fingers on his temples. His skin was smooth, he wasn't sweating at all, he didn't even seem nervous about what we were about to do. Maybe I was the weird one. "Now, you will have to say the incantation. Ostende vester mysteria."
I was so used to the power that came with Latin these days that his words sounded odd to my ears—empty. Void of the magic that I had come to know so well. He wasn't capable of performing magic, or if he was than he wasn't familiar with it.
Taking a deep breath, I locked eyes with him. "Ostende vester mysteria," I said, my voice a soft murmur. For a moment, it looked like nothing had happened or was going to happen, we remained seated, and I thought for certain that I had failed. Or he had got the spell wrong and we were just going to sit there, touching each other’s faces, and looking like a bunch of idiots.
But then colours started to pop and brighten, and then the world swam. I was falling. There was no chair beneath me, no floor to catch me, there was only the empty void for me to fall through. I grasped wildly about, but there was nothing but the deep dark chasm that I was inside of.
Geoff was gone.
Panic began.
I had been trapped, this was all a ploy, I was going to die. There was no other explanation for the hole that I was falling down just now.
I'm going to rip him limb from limb when I get out of this, I swore to myself, knowing that I would make it true if it was the last thing I did.
There was no landing, but suddenly I was on my feet, sturdy ground beneath me. There was no jarring impact, no moment for my bones to buckle and break. I didn't understand what was happening, but my senses were on high alert—I didn't have time to wonder where I was, to feel bad for myself for falling into such a trap without thinking.
Who does a spell some random werewolf teaches them?
An idiot, that's who. But enough of that.
I began to walk through the dungeon, taking in the scent of mold and decay, the uneven cobblestones threatening to trip me if I didn't watch my step. The room I was in had but one exit, and it was no blocked, so I made my way through it and down the hall. There were no forks in the road, no other corridor for me to go down, but there were plenty of empty cells. Waiting for some poor idiotic soul to fall down here for the rest of eternity, no doubt.
Well, I was not going to spend the rest of my life in some cold, dark cell, that was for certain. I was going to find my bearings and get the hell out of here, just watch me.
The corridor ended abruptly in front of a medieval wooden door, with iron bars across it. I reached a hand out for the door knob, aware that I was shaking, but yanked my arm back when it burned me. I cursed under my breath, glaring down at the door knob as if it were a living thing that had hurt me and could feel my wrath through the force of my eyes alone.
Some kind of mag
ic had to be protecting it. I lifted my shirt slightly, wrapping my hand in it, and used it to open the door, surprised that it turned this time without issue. Huh, guess it was only looking for human skin as an indicator.
I was not prepared for what lay inside. At the far wall was a creature, half-man and half-wolf. Its hind legs were fully turned, its hands had claws, there were patches of fur breaking out all over, and the creature’s hair had turned into a full mane of fur. Its head was pointed towards the ground and it was completely still, at first I didn't think it was even breathing.
And then it struggled against its chains, a mournful note escaping its mouth, before it fell back against the wall. Futile. Caged.
It could not get out.
It was then that I understood what I was seeing; this creature was Geoff. Or Geoff's inner beast, the wolf that he kept contained within himself. Unable to shift, kept in between stages by the chains that held it to the wall.
My heart lurched, squeezing tightly in my chest, and I pressed a hand there. I couldn't help but feel sympathy for the creature, it looked like it was being tortured and I didn't want to leave it like that.
I stepped forward, uncertain of what I was going to do, but unable to leave it like this...and the world swam again. I wasn't falling this time, but rather floating, propelled upwards by some unknown force, until I sat in the chair again. My fingers were still on Geoff's temples and I dropped them, twisting my fingers together in my lap.
My eyes wouldn't meet his anymore, I didn't know how to look at him after what I had seen. He had a monster inside of him, true, but it was caged. And it was a part of him, as much as my magic was a part of me. How would I feel if a piece of my being was tied up like that, unable to move or exist? He had to be in so much pain every moment of every day, but he did it to keep those around him safe. I finally understood him, how he could never be the person who had hurt those people. He had everything under control, no matter what it cost him.
There was too much silence in the room, I couldn't take it anymore. Geoff was waiting for me to broach the topic, obviously, giving me my time to deal with it. I lifted my eyes slowly to meet his, dragging them inch by inch up from the floor, only to find a look on his face that I couldn't quite decipher.
"Geoff?" I started to reach for him but thought better of it and returned my hand to my lap. "What's wrong."
"Blessed Mother above..." His words came out a soft, reverent whisper.
"What? What did you see?" I inched forward in my seat, simultaneously terrified and too curious to sit still and wait. I had to know, what had my soul looked like? Was it a twisted, demented thing, turned black and sour by the years of abuse in foster care? That had to be it. He had seen something dark in me.
Oh, Gods, had he seen the demonic power within? I should have thought about that before I agreed to the mind meld.
"Geoff?"
He shook his head, eyes flicking away to focus on the floor beside us. I watched as his chest rose with the large breath he swallowed. All I could do was wait, wait for him to tell me what he had seen. I picked nervously at the fraying edge of the hole in my jeans, certain that I would unravel them completely if he didn't tell me soon.
"Please, Geoff, say something." The anticipation was killing me.
"I'm sorry, Blair, I can't," he said at last. He still wouldn't look at me. "And I don't want you to tell me what you saw. It's dangerous, knowing what your soul contains. There are secrets there, that a person likely hasn't shared with themselves."
My eyes bulged incredulously. He wasn't going to tell me? I had to know! "Geoff, I'm going to lose my mind thinking about it if you don't tell me. Please, how bad was it? It can't be that bad..."
Could it? Could I be such a horrible person that he still wouldn't look at me, that he would prefer to hide his eyes from me lest he see it again? I looked away from him again, colour filling my cheeks. Best not to know, I supposed. Maybe he was right, maybe knowing what a twisted person I was would change me.
He reached out and touched my hand. "I...I'm sorry. I know that's not much help, but I hope you can understand."
"You'll keep it to yourself, though? If you won't tell me, you won't tell anyone?"
"Of course. Did you see what you needed to see?"
I nodded, remembering the wolf-man in the dungeon, my throat suddenly feeling like it had a lump in it. "I did. You're innocent," I said, my voice rough.
I didn't need to see anymore.
32
The car ride home was an uneventful, yet tense affair. There was no one in the car with me to talk to, which normally wouldn't be an issue, but tonight I found that I wanted to rant and rave about what I had seen and what I still had to do. I couldn't talk about it, though, not with anyone, and that made it all the worse. What was I supposed to do, just sit on that information?
I never should have let him talk me into the mind meld.
And what in bloody hell had he seen inside of me that had shaken him so?
I felt I might die if I didn't find out.
Pulling up alongside the kerb, I threw the car in neutral, killed the engine, and climbed out. It took three kicks to get the door to shut properly this time, and then I was making my merry way inside.
Kailan was pacing idly in the living room, stretching his legs. His limp was getting better, in fact it was almost gone. He really did heal a lot faster than expected.
"How's your leg? Want me to look at it again?" I put my bag on the chair closest to the door and took off my thigh harness.
"No, I think I am good. I am feeling a lot better, actually. Like I could be useful again," he said, giving me a look.
"No," I said, before he could go any further.
"Blair, I am going crazy being kept in here like some kind of house pet. It is not in my nature to be indoors for so long, I need to run...I need to be free."
His words, which normally would still have moved me, hurt all the more considering what I had seen inside Geoff's soul. The need to be free was one I could understand, but I didn't see what we could do about it.
"Well...I go for a run some mornings, to wake myself up and get out some of the tension from the previous night. You could come with me tomorrow, if you want. Get you out of the house and breathing in semi-fresh air?"
His face lit up like a Christmas tree. "I would love that. Could we run in the woods, do you think?"
I snorted. "We can go to a park and run, that'll be the only place that has actual trails for us."
Kailan nodded and moved back to the couch, taking a seat again. "I already feel worlds better knowing that I will be out of the house soon," he said.
Surprisingly, I also felt better, knowing that I had given him something he so obviously needed. There was little that I could do to change the necessity of him staying hidden, but I figured a run in the daylight of a park would be the safest situation for us to take him out in. Then again, the werewolf had attacked in the middle of the day in Peckham...
Mentally, I shook my head. That was different, that was a werewolf. The Utakar wouldn't show in a public place, I felt certain of it. It was an old creature, chances were that it respected the old way of doing things and wasn't going to push the bounds of our laws. You didn't reveal the magical world to the mundanes, that was both common sense and good as law in our books.
"I'm going downstairs to work with Fred a bit, shout if you need me."
"Will do."
I went downstairs, keeping my jackets on because it was freezing cold inside my house. Fred was sitting at the picnic table with one of his pulpy science fiction books in his hands.
"How come you're ready down here?"
Fred jumped, then looked over at me and let out a sigh that sounded relieved. "I was thinkings you was Kailan, Miss."
I tilted my head to the side. "You don't like Kailan?"
He fidgeted in his seat. "I is not likings change, Miss Blair. He is...he is new and he is old and different and is not belongings in this house wi
th us. When is he leavings?"
My eyebrows jumped up and I did my best to calm them. Fred didn't need me laughing at him. "He's leaving as soon as we finish this Utakar business, which you and I are going to work on in a moment here. I have something a little more pressing at the moment," I said, walking over and taking a seat opposite him.
Fred looked absolutely delighted at the idea of working on something—I think he liked the moments when he was a source of information for me. I know if the situation was reversed, it would make me feel important, valuable, and I would certainly enjoy that. There weren't a lot of times that I felt truly valuable to anyone. Actually, I couldn't think of a single instance. Huh. That hurt.
"What is you needings?"
"Werewolves, Fred, I need to talk to you about werewolves."
His expression soured. "Why is we talkings about werewolves again, Miss? We has already had this conversation." He was stern and suddenly I felt like a child being scolded by their parent.
"Because, I was right, and you were wrong," I said, scowling at him. "I did a mind meld with him. Do you know what that is?"
"Is I knowings what that is? Feh!" He scoffed at me. "Of course, I is knowings. You trusted that...that wolf with your mind? Is dangerous, Miss Blair, too dangerous."
"He said magic enforcers used to do it all the time," I said, frowning.
Fred sobered. "Yes. And theys lost they minds."
Oh, well, that certainly changed my opinion of that. Not something to go around doing, then.
"Well, I'm fine," I said, though I didn't feel fine with that information. I was already a couple eggs away from an omelet, I didn't need anything else pushing me farther into the frying pan. "Anyway, the fact of the matter is that Geoff is innocent. I saw it. I also went to Peckham—"
"Peckham!" Fred all but wailed the word at me, grabbing his oversized ears with his hands.
"Yes...Peckham," I said, staring at him.