‘Nooooo.’
She sits him in his high chair. ‘You can watch me and Dora make chocolate and then it's time for bed.’
I’m in awe of Beth’s skills as she takes me through the process of how to make the perfect chocolate penis.
‘I can’t thank you enough, Beth. You’re so good at this.’
Her eyes light up. ‘Thanks, Dora. I enjoy doing it. It's relaxing. Right, I’ll get this rascal up to bed and then we’ll go through the books so you can see what records you need to keep.’
By the end of the evening, I've got a pretty good idea of how to start my business, but I’ve been told in no uncertain terms I’ve to walk before I can run. It’s odd to have the tables turned and get life lessons from the alcopop girl. That I must be able to make a perfect penis almost every time before I start to sell them, and that my workspace needs to be arranged so I have a side solely for business prep. My kitchen is large so that shouldn’t be a problem with a little reorganisation.
I reach into my bag for my purse. ‘Let me pay you for your time, Beth.’
I get a dirty look in response.
‘Not a chance. Though, you can pay me another way.’
‘Yeah, what’s that?’
‘Can you teach me to bake biscuits? I’ve had an idea of how to expand my own business.’
I nod eagerly. ‘Of course I can. Cakes and biscuits are my speciality.’
‘Brilliant. Thank you.’
She tells me how she’s going to make iced biscuits to sell to the party mums and hopefully supply Kid Zone, in place of the awful shop bought cookies Cam serves with her coffees. It’s a great idea. I wish she could bring some sweetness into her own life. I’ll have to talk to Cam. We need to get Beth to loosen up and have a life of her own because she’s avoiding all the risks and with that, avoiding the joy to be had in life.
Time for Project Beth.
Chapter Three
Camille
It’s a Thursday and I’m sitting chewing on the end of a pencil when Beth bursts through the doors of Kid Zone.
‘You haven’t left him here.’
‘Eh?’
‘Trey. Thought you’d lost him with how you careered through that door.’
She eye-rolls. ‘Funny aren’t you? We’ve got the dentist today, so you aren’t seeing us later.’
I pout. ‘No Trey cuddles?’
‘This should shut you up.’ She pushes a heart-shaped ice biscuit toward my mouth. I take it from her hand.
I bite into it. The biscuit melts in my mouth and a buttery goodness explodes on my tongue. The sugar of the icing compliments the flavours. It's exquisite. I try to talk with biscuit in my mouth. ‘Where has this been all my life?’
Beth takes a seat. ‘Your mum has been teaching me to bake biscuits for the last week. What do you think about selling these in Kid Zone? They’re much better than the packet biscuits you sell.’
‘I think that’s a definite possibility, but I need to try more before I decide.’ I wink.
‘Also, what about you sell your mum’s cupcakes alongside my biscuits?’
I almost choke on a crumb. ‘Erm because I don’t want her long blonde hair in my customers’ food?’
Beth leans back and crosses her legs. ‘Your mum’s serious this time. We’ve made her a workstation. She has protective hats and everything. She’s an inspection due and then she can start.’
‘Wow. You mean my mum has found something to settle to at last? She is a good baker.’
‘She really is. But she needs to start out slow. Maybe she could supply Kid Zone first and then some of the mums might want our cookies and cupcakes for their children's parties. I’ve told her to hold off on the willies until she’s more established.’
My eyes narrow at Beth. ‘So you’ve been spending a lot of time with my mum then? She never said.’
‘We wanted it to be a surprise. Until I came to you with my perfect biscuits.’
‘Well, they certainly are.’ I take another bite.
Gemma, my right-hand woman at Kid Zone, comes over to the table with two hot drinks. ‘There you go ladies. Just the thing to go with your rather nice looking biscuits.’
‘We can take a hint. Here.’ I pass her a biscuit, this one is in the shape of an ice-cream cone and again, is beautifully iced.
‘Oh my Lord, that’s divine.’
‘Yes, we’ll definitely be selling these.’ I tell Beth.
‘Mm-mm.’ Gemma waves a hand at me as she can hardly speak with a gob full of biscuit. ‘The anniversary party.’ Crumbs sprinkle over me. ‘Sowwy.’
‘Take your blooming biscuit over there. Out of my way, you lopper.’ I shoo her away.
‘What anniversary party?’ asks Beth.
‘Kid Zone’s. It’s one-year-old on the eighteenth of July. So I thought Saturday sixteenth I’d have a huge celebration. That’s why I was chewing on a pencil before you replaced it with that yummy biscuit. I’m trying to get ideas for making it a bit different. Not too expensive, though.’
‘Oh, can I make suggestions?’
‘Be my guest.’
Beth sweeps a hand over the biscuits she’s brought with her. ‘Well, obviously a huge array of my chocolates and biscuits. I have a new chocolate I’m bringing out. It's been successful elsewhere in the country with kids. It came up in one of my business forums.’
‘Yeah, what’s that?’
‘Chocolate bars done in kids initials. Kids love them apparently.’
‘Great idea. You could do kids initial biscuits too.’
‘So I could,’ she says.
I pick my pencil back up from the table. ‘Could you make me two hundred iced biscuits with Kid Zone One Today on them?’
‘Sure.’
I scribble on my pad.
‘I’ll ask my mum if she’ll supply the same in cupcakes.’
‘Your mum will be ecstatic.’
‘I hope I won’t regret this,’ I tell her.
With Beth gone I spend more time working on the party. Firstly, I book catering to supply sandwiches and other food as I’ll be too busy to be concerned with party sausages. I look down my list. Entertainment-wise, I’ve booked a juggler from a local circus school in Sheffield. My celebration needs something else to draw the crowds in on what could potentially be a sunny Saturday. I stare into space. What could I do? Then I get an idea. What about a celebrity of sorts? But who could I ask? I think of Cole Grant, the ex-professional tennis player. He’s easy on the eye, the mums would like him and I bet my mother could get him to come as she played cupid for him in Center Parcs. I’ll ask her. Juggler for the kids, eye candy for the mothers, cakes and biscuits for the dads. I think we’re sorted.
Saturday 16 July 2016
Kid Zone is heaving at the seams with children and parents. There are balloons being battered around everywhere. The noise volume is high as kids shriek with excitement.
‘Congratulations, love, we’re so proud of you,’ says my dad. My mum kisses me on the cheek. Her arm is firmly around my dad’s waist. I hope they’re not going to keep making public displays of affection or I’ll need the sick bucket for myself rather than the children. They’ve been on their best behaviour around each other since a recent falling out. I hope the lovey-dovey stuff wears off soon and I get my usual parents back. It’s not normal.
Beth wanders over to us, having been supervising the distribution of the biscuits and cupcakes. Trey is with my brother.
‘You’ve done an amazing job there, Beth,’ I tell her.
Mum high-fives her.
‘Oh it’s nothing,’ says Beth.
‘For goodness sake, Beth, I wish you’d appreciate your talents a bit more. The biscuits are amazing. So are the chocolates. You need to sing your own praises,’ I scold.
‘Hey, we’re not all confident like you, Camille. Some of us prefer to blend into the background.’ She lifts an empty paper plate up and hides her face behind it.
I nudge her. ‘Well, it’s
a shame. You’re multi-talented.’
‘What about me?’ asks my mother.
‘You too.’ I sigh.
‘Well naturally you got your confidence from me,’ says my mother, ‘and your understanding of figures from your father.’
Dad looks at one of the sexier mothers. ‘Yep, I’m pretty good with figures.’
My mother pinches his bum. ‘Hey. Eyes over here.’
He winks at her. ‘You’re the only one for me, love, you know it.’
Vom.
‘I’ll be back in a tic, I think they’re having a cupcake fight over there,’ says Beth.
‘So what time is Cole getting here, Mum? Only I’m doing my speech at two pm and he’s supposed to give out balloon animals.’
‘Oh, he’s not coming,’ my mother says, waving her hand in the air.
‘What?’ I shriek. ‘You said he was coming. I’ve promised a famous sports person. Oh my God, how embarrassing. What am I supposed to do?’
‘Calm your tits, Cam, I got someone else to replace him.’
I give my mother a death glare.
‘Who?’
‘They’re here now.’ She points toward the door.
A vision of hunky goodness enters Kid Zone. He’s looking around as if trying to spot a familiar face. He’s completely unruffled by the children running past him. The larger than normal amount of children run amok as almost every mother’s gaze hones in on the six-foot-plus, smouldering Man God. Can skin look glossy? His does. Smooth and glossy. Well, they do say black don’t crack. His close shaved hair reminds me of the top of a tennis ball. He looks familiar but I can’t recall where I’ve seen him before today.
My mum runs over and practically drags him back with her.
‘Cam. This is Leo Coleman. He’s an ex-pro golfer, currently working at Rother Valley.’
I hit my forehead. ‘Ah, that’s where I’ve seen you. I saw an advert for lessons in the paper.’
‘Ah yes. Well, thanks for letting me come and say a few words. Sorry I’m late. I got lost. I should put the satnav on, but hey, I’m a guy and think I can work it out. I’m hoping I can recruit some of the fathers for golf lessons while I’m here.’
‘And the mothers,’ says my mum. ‘I bet there are a lot of women here who’d like lessons.’
‘Yeah, I try not to encourage those,’ laughs Leo. He has a booming laugh that makes his eyes sparkle. I think I’m in love.
‘Well thanks so much, Leo, for coming here today. Do you want to follow me and we’ll head over to the microphone?’
‘Sure. Sorry about running late.’
‘No worries. I’m just pleased you’re here.’
I cough and ask for people to be quiet. Miracles can’t be expected, so it gets quieter, but silence in a kids play centre will never happen.
My parents come and stand at the front as I start my speech. I cross my fingers that my mother doesn’t cry or applaud like I’ve won an Oscar.
My eyes scan the crowds while I address the people paying attention. ‘I’d like to thank you all for being part of our one-year anniversary party. When I opened Kid Zone, I never expected to not only run a business but to make a family of the team of staff that work here.’ A round of applause is made for the staff. ‘This business couldn’t succeed without all the parents, carers, grandparents and kids that come here. So, to say thank you, I hope you’ve grabbed some chocolate, a biscuit, a cupcake or all three, plus a free tea, coffee, water or juice. Here’s to another year.’ I raise a plastic tumbler of water. There is a loud cheer and another round of applause. ‘Now, without further ado, I would like to introduce you to our special guest. He’s an amazing golfer. Please welcome to Kid Zone, ex-professional Leo Coleman.’
The place erupts in applause, the kids copy their parents, even though they’ll have no clue who he is. Leo places the microphone below his mouth.
‘Wow, thank you for such a warm welcome, Kid Zone. Now if you don’t know me, I used to play golf quite well and now I’m running lessons at Rother Valley, so if any interested dads want to come see me after my speech.’ He winks. ‘Now I don’t have any kids of my own but know that most children like a balloon animal. So who wants to come get one?’
As Leo states he doesn’t have kids of his own, Beth walks out of the toilets with Trey in her arms. Her face hones in on Leo’s voice and pales. The next few minutes feel like one of those moments when you try different keys to open a lock and suddenly find the right one. As Beth stares as Leo, and I stare at her, I realise why Leo’s face is so familiar. Not only from an advert but because he is so clearly related to Trey.
Holy shit.
Chapter Four
Beth
Camille's brother, Tyler, had been minding Trey while I served customers with biscuits and juice. Tyler said he'd rather play with Trey than obey his younger sister's bossy instructions. However, I saw Lindsay, Tyler's girlfriend, getting fed up of watching Ty and Trey playing in the ball pool. Tyler looked disappointed when I ended their fun, at least until Trey did a body tremble and wee appeared at the front of his shorts.
'Oh, Trey,' I grab him and my bag and hurtle to the toilets. I should have known better. Newly toilet trained, the excitement had proved too much for my three-year-old son. He'd held his bladder as long as he could to continue having fun. Luckily, I go nowhere without wipes and a change of clothes, so after a quick wash down and change we're ready to leave the toilets and rejoin the party. Trey holds onto me like a little koala, sitting astride my right hip while I hold the carrier bag of wet clothes in the other hand. Hopefully, Camille will let me put them in her office until it's time for us to leave.
As I leave the toilets, a deep voice speaks about not having kids. I follow the sound, it resonating in my ear like an alarm. There's a tingle in my chest and tightness in my gut. It can't be. There's no reason for him to be in a children's play centre. My imagination is obviously running wild. But my eyes settle on his face and I recognise the familiar features of my ex-lover, Leo Coleman. It may have been a few years, but he has changed little. My awareness of my surroundings dims as I'm transported back to student life in Manchester. A teenage girl enjoying life in a club, then a pregnant girl returning to Rotherham. My heartbeat feels like it will explode in my chest and my hands are clammy. I'm thinking of my fastest route out of here when my eyes meet hers - Camille's. Her wide-eyed expression and open mouth show me that she has made her calculations and is aiming for an A star result in mathematics. Shit.
Assessing the situation, I see Cam shaking her head, muttering to herself. If it weren't for the children waiting for their balloon animals, she'd probably have her hands around Leo's throat by now, demanding to know why a championship golfer has ignored his own son.
Because I said he was a twat.
Because I lied.
I shake my head at Cam and point toward her office. I pull Tyler and Lindsay to one side where I apologise but beg them to have Trey for a little while as I must talk to Camille. Lindsay frowns but Tyler tells me it's no problem.
Cam stalks towards us. Lindsay sees Cam's face and turns to me.
'We're fine with Trey. You'd better go.'
'He's Trey's father isn't he? Or an Uncle. He's definitely related.'
I sigh. 'He's the father.'
'Leo Coleman is Trey's dad?'
'I just said that didn't I?' I run a hand through my hair, almost grabbing it in a clump.
Cam flops into her office chair and gestures for me to sit in another. 'Fuck me, I didn't see that one coming.'
'You didn't see it coming?' I laugh hysterically. 'What's he doing here? I thought Cole was coming. If you'd mentioned Leo, I wouldn't be here.'
'My mum booked him because Cole couldn't make it. I didn't know he was coming, and I didn't know he was Trey's father so don't get at me. Now I know he's the fucking twat who couldn’t be bothered with his son I'll get rid of him. He needn't think he's getting any business from here. I'll make some shit up so no-one wants
anything to do with him.'
'Cam. I need to tell you -'
'Cheeky fucking bastard. To come to a kid's play centre when he doesn't have anything to do with his own.'
'Cam-'
'He even said he didn't have any children. I'm going to kill the fucker.'
'Cam!'
She turns to me. 'Sorry, honey, I'm getting worked up on your behalf.'
'He doesn't know,' I mumble.
'Pardon?'
Cam takes a deep breath and holds it in. She folds her arms over her chest.
'He doesn't know.'
Cam lets her breath go and then speaks just as slowly. If she were a cat, she'd be calculating how to catch a mouse right now. 'He doesn't know about what, Beth?'
I put my head in my hands and look at the floor. 'He doesn't know about Trey. He's not a twat. I said that so no-one asked too many questions. He doesn't know he has a son.'
'Oh, Beth.' says Camille.
I look away from her. Tears start to fall and won't stop coming.
Cam
I leave her in the room while I go and get her a cup of hot sweet tea. That's what you do for people in shock, isn't it? I find my mum first and ask her to take Trey from Ty and Lindsay.
Mum lifts her chin. 'What's going on with Beth?'
'She's not feeling very well.'
Mum frowns. 'She was fine earlier.'
'Not now, Mum, okay?'
Mum nods slowly. 'Ah, okay, hun. Let me know if I can help.'
'You can. Please get Trey.' I point at Tyler and Lindsay.
Mum holds Trey's hand and walks over with me to the counter while I get the tea. 'You need to say thanks to Leo before you disappear with Beth. He looks like he's finished up.'
As I look up, he's heading towards us. Shit. Trey.
Leo gives one of his fantastic smiles. I can see why Beth fell for him.
'Thanks so much for asking me to come, Dora, and you too, of course, Camille. I’ll chat with the father's now if that's okay?'
I scratch my eyebrow. 'Yeah, but don't take too long. You know, cos they won't be expecting to be talking about golf today will they?'
Balls Fore (Ball Games #4) Page 2