Suddenly I realise. Fucking my sum, sucking my thumb. He’s transposing letters.
‘Aren’t you clever sucking your thumb,’ I pronounce the words slowly. I see relieved faces from other parents around me. Thank God for that. I buy Trey a talking Woody and a Buzz Lightyear from Toy Story and leave the store as fast as I can.
We head back to the coffee shop. We’ve only been forty minutes.
‘Mummy. Mummy.’ Trey yells.
Beth stands up as we reach her. ‘Is everything okay?’
‘Yeah. Fine. I’ve spent up.’
Beth looks at the two gigantic bags in my hand.
‘I know.’ I tell her. ‘I’ll learn to reign it in.’
‘Well, if you find the secret, let me in on it.’ She winks. ‘I can never help myself. Just one more thing, I think.’
‘So we have a spoiled son?’
‘Kind of.’
‘Well, there are worse things in life.’
‘True.’
‘Do you want a coffee?’ Beth asks.
‘Yep, I certainly do. I’ll get it. Let me get Trey’s drink out for him. I open the bag and extract his beaker. ‘There you go Trey.’
‘Well I’m very impressed,’ Beth tells me. ‘For a first attempt, that seems to have been a success.’
Trey pulls his thumb out of his mouth as he takes the beaker. ‘I’m fucking my sum,’ he yells loudly.
Beth fixes me with a stare and a raised eyebrow.
‘I’m going to get my drink,’ I tell her and hurry off to the counter.
Chapter Eleven
Camille
We’re two months on and my mother is about to bang Beth and Leo’s heads together.
‘It’s so bloody obvious they’re in love with each other. Have you seen them? Every time one turns away the other one stares at them. They’re driving me insane.’
‘Now you know what we all feel like,’ deadpans my dad.
‘Yes, Mum, but it’s their business. Things are going well. The counsellor is pleased with their progress.’
‘Counselling. Huh. Leo should have saved his money. I could have put them straight. He could have paid for a honeymoon with it instead.’
‘Dora, you are going too far again. The counsellor is qualified to get them to work through the issues the last three years have thrown at them.’
‘You need to stop going to the clubhouse with Leo. I don’t think you need any more lessons.’
‘I like Leo and I’m enjoying his lessons. He says I’m more mime artist than ice sculpture now, I’m developing fluidity.’
‘Only fluidity you’re developing is your bladder being full after too many pints in the clubhouse. Stop ringing your son for a lift home. He’s got his own life now.’
‘I don’t mind, Mum.’
‘Yes, you do.’
‘Can we please get back to the matter in hand?’ I tell them. ‘That is. Progress is being made with Beth, Leo and Trey and that’s great. Leo’s having him for a full overnight soon.’
‘Yes.’
We all turn towards my Mum.
‘Do you know what Beth needs?’ She’s nodding her head. Oh God. Another Mother idea.
‘Peace and quiet?’ I say.
‘A night out. A lovely night out at a club where she can let her hair down. A night where she can be hit on by complete creeps and realise what she’s got in front of her face.’
‘What if she meets the love of her life?’ I ask her.
‘In a nightclub? Doubtful. Anyway, you’ll be with her, ready to get rid of anyone who seems nice.’
‘Mum, I don’t want to go clubbing.’
‘So you don’t want to help your friend?’
‘That’s not what I said.’
‘Fine.’ My mum raises a hand. ‘Maybe it’s a jealousy thing. You don’t want to see your friend happy because then she’ll have a partner and a child and be in front of you in the whole peer group pressure stakes.’
‘I would be pleased for my friend.’
‘So you’ll do it then?’
‘Oh my God, all right, Mum. Just one night.’
‘One night. A horrendous night out. Get her drunk and make sure she’s surrounded by idiots. Get her on the dance-floor. Then somehow, I need to get Leo to come to her rescue. Hmm.’
At this point, my dad picks up my mum’s giant Yorkshire Pudding with his fork and stuffs it in her open mouth.
‘Give it a rest.’ He tells her. ‘You’re an employee in her professional business, not part of her personal business.’
Mum grabs the pud and puts it back on her plate.
‘And it’s going extremely well, my involvement in her professional business. From strength to strength in fact. My chocolate willies make their professional debut at a hen party next Friday night.’
‘Lindsay threw my chocolate boobs in the bin. Said I was making her feel inadequate. Women are weird,’ adds Tyler.
Chapter Twelve
Beth
Too many mornings now I’ve woken up in a sweat after dreaming of a tangled sheet tussle with my ex. This has got to stop. Too much time has passed. I need to focus on Leo being a dad to Trey. So it’s perfect timing when Cam calls and asks me if I want to go clubbing with her. I remember what my nan used to say. The best way to get over one man is to get under another.
So here we are. It's Friday night and Dylan has dropped us off at Snake in Sheffield City Centre. Fridays are half price cocktails and free entry so I’m already on my second Cosmo. It's time to dance my heart out and forget the stresses of the last few weeks.
‘Come on. Dance floor,’ I beckon Cam and start to wander off.
‘What’s got into you?’ she protests. ‘My feet already hurt in these heels.’
‘God, you are getting so boring. Where’s your slippers?’
‘Piss off. I can out-dance you, aching feet or not.’
‘Prove it.’
Tonight I’m dressed in a fuchsia pink embellished bodycon dress that emphasises my skinny frame. My dark hair is tousled bed-head style. My lips are a pout of baby pink and my eyeliner is in a feline flick. I feel sexy. It's miles away from my mummy outfit of baggy top and jeans. My parents begrudgingly accepted Trey for the night. Although they have him every Friday, they usually come to my house and I’m home no later than midnight. This time, I wanted to stay out. Though aware I could have asked Leo, I don’t want Trey staying out all night there yet. I know I’m being stupid and putting off the inevitable, but that’s how I want it tonight. To forget all of it. I’ll bring it up with the counsellor on Monday night.
I watch my friend as she gets into the beat. Cam can be self-conscious about her size fourteen frame, which is stupid. To be honest, she looks tons better than me. She glows with health whereas I look knackered and drawn. Yes, my makeup has rescued me tonight, but Cam in her trousers and tunic top looks so sophisticated. Her blonde hair is down and in ringlets. She’s completely oblivious to the admirers watching her shake her booty. Oh, to be loved-up.
Fuck. What am I saying? That’s exactly what I don’t want.
‘I’m getting another drink.’ I mime it so Cam understands where I’m going.
As I wait at the bar, I find myself in line behind an attractive looking brown haired bloke. His hair is tousled, and he has what I can only describe as a cheeky face. It kind of dimples as he talks to his mates.
I’m jostled by a couple of females who sidle up to him.
‘Excuse me.’ One of them says in a stupid high-pitched girly squeal.
He turns to them and gives them a megawatt smile, ‘Yes ladies. What can I do for you?’
‘We’re on a hen night and we’ve got to do this challenge.’ One of the women shows him a card. ‘We’ve got to come back with a piece of clothing from a sexy man. Can you spare anything?’
‘Hmm, well I wouldn’t want to let you ladies down.’ He peels off his shirt to reveal a tight tee underneath. Then he strips that off, revealing a fucking cracking abdome
n emboldened with a dragon tattoo that stretches partway across his arm. Unfortunately, he puts his shirt back on. ‘There you go, ladies.’ He passes them the tee. One woman forgets she’s supposed to be in a competition. She lets her friend take the tee and stays at the side of the bloke.
‘Nice tat.’
‘Thanks. Well, nice meeting you.’ He turns back to the bar and she’s dismissed, just like that.
‘What a twat.’
I don’t realise I’ve said this out loud until he turns around.
He smiles and holds out his hand. ‘Also known as Sebastian Kingsley, but twat will do.’
‘How’d you know it was you I was calling a twat?’
He winks. ‘It’s not the first time I’ve been called it.’
He leans in close to my face and sniffs near my mouth.
I step back. ‘What are you doing?’
‘Pint of beer,’ he says to the bar staff, ‘and a Cosmo for the lady.’
I cross my arms over my chest. ‘Oh my God, are you for fucking real? Perhaps I didn’t want that.’
‘Well, what do you want?’
I sigh. ‘I do want a Cosmo.’
He brings our drinks and directs me to the side of the dance floor.
‘So. Out with it. I can tell by my new nickname that you’re anti-men right now.’
‘No.’ I drink some of my Cosmo. ‘All you know is that I think you’re a twat.’
He shrugs.
‘Don’t you care?’
‘Not particularly.’
‘So what happened to make you anti-women?’
‘Who says I’m anti-women? I already decided I wanted you.’
I splutter some of my drink.
‘Seriously? What a line. You’d not even noticed my existence at the point you dissed that woman.’
‘Really? Why do you think I took my shirt off? Usually, I’d have told them to fuck off.’
I shake my head.
‘Anyway, enough about how we met. Tell me about how I’ve never seen you in here before.’
‘I’m a spy, working undercover. They sent me to Sheffield tonight.’
‘Ooh, feisty. Not my usual sort of woman it has to be said.’
‘What’s your usual sort of woman?’
‘Vulnerable. Easy to manipulate. Grateful.’
I widen my eyes at him. ‘Seriously? Someone must have really done a number on you at some point.’
‘Or maybe I’m just a twat. Now, come dance with me. I’m here from Derby. For one night only, so let’s go have some fun.’
And that’s what sways me. One night only? One night of fun with a good looking twat who I’ll never want to see again because when I’m sober, I’ll realise he truly is a pig.
Sounds great.
We hit the dance floor.
Cam watches from a table she’s acquired. She raises an eyebrow at me.
‘Hang on a tic,’ I tell Seb.
‘Just having a quick boogie and then I’ll be back. Don’t worry, he’s a twat.’
‘He’s very good looking.’
‘Well, he’s an idiot. Fine for tonight, though.’
‘Okay. Enjoy then. My feet are killing and I’m more than happy to people watch.’
‘You’re going to sit texting Dylan, aren’t you?’
‘Yeah probably,’ she admits. ‘Off you go. The sharks are circling your fish.’
I dance with Seb for a while, flirting. It’s good to be relaxed and feel attractive in another man’s company. When I’m overheating and want another drink, I indicate I’m leaving the floor and he follows me. I introduce him to Cam.
‘What are you drinking?’ I ask him. ‘Another pint of beer?’
‘Yes thanks,’ he says and lets me go to the bar. I shouldn’t complain. Women want to be equals but I sigh as I leave him with Cam.
I take twenty minutes to return and when I get back, Cam is alone.
‘Where’d Seb go?’
‘Imagine a bat with wings on fire.’
‘Oh, Cam. Did you tell him about Trey?’
‘Yes, but only after he asked me if I wanted to dance. The fucktard.’
‘Seriously?’
‘Yeah. He told me he had a thing for blondes and did I want to leave while you were at the bar.’
‘He did not?’
‘Yes, he did. He also said that you’d be all right because you had his drink and could drown your sorrows.’
‘The fucking twat.’
I finally manage to get myself on the chair at the side of Cam. Why are these stools so fucking high?
‘I knew he was a player but I thought he might play with me for one night before he moved on.’
‘Well, when he hit on me, I said we had to get back to our kids soon. I made out we both had them. I swear the bloke went white as milk, and that was it. He bid me good night and wandered off.’
‘Oh well,’ I reply. My face falls. ‘We might as well get going soon.’
Cam leans towards me and shouts. ‘Sorry that your night hasn’t been what you wanted.’
‘It's fine. It's reminded me that men are mainly jerks and I’m better off sticking with my three-year-old.’
‘Leo isn’t a jerk.’
I put a hand on her mouth. ‘Don’t.’
‘Sorry.’
‘Okay,’ I tell her. ‘I’m drinking this Cosmo and this pint and then I’m on the dance floor again. You, lady, have to come with me. You can rest those feet tomorrow.’
Cam’s face falls.
‘Another thirty minutes please?’ I plead. ‘I’m enjoying dancing.’
She nods and we drink up and dance before sharing a taxi home.
I’m drunk. I can feel the numbness. It's lovely. I feel dead happy. I sit on my sofa and think about how lovely my life is.
‘Glad I don’t have a jerk in my life,’ I say to myself and then I do a jerk movement. ‘Just this jerk in my life.’ I do a little kind of jerky dance.
Why don’t I dance in my house more often? I put my CD on and give it my best to some Taylor Swift.
‘Turn it fucking down,’ bellows from next door. Mardy bastards.
I switch the music off and sit on the sofa. I still want to dance. It's not fair. I want to put my music on loud and give myself up to the beat. Then I have a brilliant idea. My mobile is on the side so I pick it up.
A voice shouts out, deafening me. ‘Beth. Is everything all right? How’s Trey?’
‘Wha? Trey’s fine. But, I… I want to dance.’
There’s silence.
‘Beth, are you drunk?’
‘Lil bit.’ I admit.
‘Where’s Trey?’ Leo’s voice comes out very slowly.
‘Oops, I left him outside, fucking his sum.’
‘What?’
I snigger. ‘Kidding. He’s at my mum’s.’
There’s a deep sigh. ‘Why are you ringing at one am?’
‘Because I want to dance. You. You - have a fucking great gigantic massive house and no neighbours.’ I mimic them. ‘“Turn that fucking music down.” Let me come play Tay-lor Swift.’
‘Stay there. I’m on my way,’ says Leo, and the line goes dead.
I throw my mobile down. Why is he coming to me? I want to go to his house? Oh, who cares? ‘God, I just want to daaannnce.’ I follow the path of my mobile, throwing my body onto the settee. My face mashes into the sofa arm. ‘S’not fair. Jerks.’
I startle. What’s that noise? Where am I?
I rub my head and hear a knocking. Oh, it’s the front door. I must have nodded off.
After knocking into the walls several times like I’m a fucking ball in a pinball machine, I manage to open the door. Leo stands on the doorstep, arms folded across his chest.
I lick my lips.
He watches me.
‘I’m thirsty,’ I tell him.
‘You’re drunk. Let me in and I’ll make you some coffee.’
I put my hands either side of the doorframe. ‘What’s the password?�
� I ask him.
‘Er, please?’
‘Nope.’
‘Beth. Let me in.’
‘Password. It’s not difficult.’
‘Trey. Is Trey the password?’
‘Course.’ I open the door wider and gesture for him to come through.
‘You woke me up.’ I complain.
‘Beth, you called me twenty-five minutes ago and I was asleep then.’
‘Well I was sleeping and you woke me, so we’re even-stevens.’
‘Sit on the sofa while I make you a drink,’ he says.
The coffee he hands me tastes like the best coffee on earth.
‘This is dee-lic-ious.’ I turn to him. ‘You’re dee-lic-ious, Leo. Dee-leo-cious.’
‘Beth.’
‘Leo,’ I say back to him in the same school headmistress tone. ‘Behave yourself.’ I wag my finger at him. ‘Or you’re going to get spanked.’
‘Oh, fuck this,’ he says, leaning towards me and crashing his lips into mine.
It's even more dee-lic-ious than the coffee.
I’m transported back in time as his pout crushes my lips. His tongue, insistent, pushes between my teeth to tangle with my own. His hand caresses the back of my neck before pushing through my hair to hold my head in place.
Clothes are discarded. Skin slides against skin. Smooth, hot, soft. This might be the biggest mistake ever but it feels so good I don’t care.
Leo raises himself above me on the sofa. Cock paused at my entrance. He captures my lip again. Bites it. He enters me.
‘Fuck, Leo.’
Afterwards, Leo carries me upstairs and we fall asleep, his large arms wrapped around me. I refuse to let my mind question my actions. Tomorrow. I’ll worry about it tomorrow.
We’re awoken by my mobile ringing. I look at my handset. Five am. I bet Trey’s woken my parents early.
‘Beth?’
‘Yes, mum,’ I croak. Mouth dry after a night of too much alcohol.
‘Beth, hurry. We’re in an ambulance on our way to the hospital. Trey got a fever and collapsed.’
Chapter Thirteen
Leo
I sit up in bed as I watch Beth’s face on the telephone. She gasps, then squeezes her eyes shut. Her voices shakes.
Balls Fore (Ball Games #4) Page 7