by Mary Smith
We only own a few DVDs, and I figure I’ll give them away to the children’s hospital since they’re mainly kids’ movies and I know the girls don’t watch them anymore. There were a few books the girls would read a lot as kids and I packed them as well. I tape up the first box and mark it with the address for the donation.
Progress.
I’m about to start in the kitchen, but my phone rings. Oliver. I answer it.
“Tad, come down to the hospital. Remington’s wife had her baby and everyone is here.”
“I’ll be there shortly.” I grab my wallet and keys and drive right over to the hospital.
Maxima is a good person, and Remington has a heart of gold. I had been shocked they got married quickly since I didn’t even know they really dated, but I guess when you know, you know.
As I step off the elevator on the maternity floor, I’m met by Hamilton.
“Hey, Coach.” He sounds nervous.
“Hamilton.” I nod.
“The room is down here. Oliver asked for me to take you.” He points off to his left.
“Okay.”
Clearly the kid wants to say much more to me but stops himself and leads the way down toward the end of the hall where some of the players are in the hallway. I greet all of them and make my way into the room. Maxima is in bed with her hair in a high ponytail, no makeup, holding a swaddled baby. Remington is right next to her hovering as I figured he would be. He’s a protective man. The rest of the team is all around the bed, with some of the wives and girlfriends.
“Coach Long.” Maxima smiles. “I’m glad you made it.”
“Of course. I had to meet the newest Bear.” I joke coming closer. The baby has a full head of dark hair and sleeping soundly in its mother’s arms.
“It’s a girl,” Remington tells me. “We named her Alyssa.”
“Lovely name for a lovely little girl.” I smile. “Enjoy it because they grow up fast. My girls are moving out tomorrow, and I’m not sure where the time went.”
Maxima laughs. “I will. I promise. How are you?”
“I’m—” I stop myself as I hear Caryn in my head with her babbling about the word fine. “I’m doing much better. I put my house up for sale. I have a condo sale pending and hopefully I’ll hear something soon.”
“Sounds like you’re a busy man,” Remington comments.
“I have been and I’m ready to get back to work.”
“Do you know when?” he asks.
“I’m not a hundred percent sure right now, but as soon as I know I’ll let you all know.” I assure them. “Mainly, I came up to see this bundle of joy and say congratulations.”
“Thank you, Coach.” Maxima smiles and I shake Remington’s hand.
When I leave the room, I talk to a few of the guys telling them the same thing I just told Remington and everyone seems ready for me to come back. I’m sure they don’t miss my yelling and drill sergeant behavior, but it seems to be effective considering the current situation the Bears are in.
Halfway down the hall, Hamilton is leaning against the wall. I know he’s waiting for me. They poor guy looks a true mess.
“Coach, may we talk for a moment?” He looks around. I’m not sure if he’s looking for a quiet corner or to make sure no one hears his question.
“Sure.”
“Um... I’m not sure where to begin. I feel as if I should be apologizing for Janan and me and our... thing.” He rubs his hands together and I have to say it’s weird seeing him this way. This man is the biggest player I’ve ever seen at six foot eight and well over two hundred twenty pounds. Now, he looks like a teenager meeting his girlfriend’s parent for the first time.
“Are you sorry? Because Janan didn’t seem sorry at all. In fact, she’s more hurt by your actions than anything.”
“I don’t know. I’m a basket case.” He runs his hands through his hair. His Alabama southern drawl is deep as he continues. “I don’t know if I should be telling you this, but I want to be with her, but I don’t know how.”
“There’s no instruction manual on how to date or be in a relationship.” Hell, isn’t that the truth. “You have to take everything day by day. Simple as pie.” Okay pie isn’t always simple, but it’s the best I have right now. “Look, I know you’re a good guy and if you’re seeking my permission to be with Janan then go be with her. I trust my daughter’s judgment more than anyone else. If she has strong feelings for you then go to her and tell her.”
Hamilton stares at his sneakers and shuffles from foot to foot. Finally he looks up. “Are you still moving the girls tomorrow?”
“Yes.”
“Do you need help?”
I know where he’s going with this. “I’m sure we’d appreciate your help, Hamilton.” I pat his shoulder as I walk past him.
THE GIRLS AND I bring down all their boxes and surprisingly they don’t have much. Most of it’s clothing except Nova, hers is books. The furniture was delivered this morning and set up already. Right now we’re dragging down the beds to be loaded into the U-Haul I rented. The girls and I manage to get them and the dressers all in as Hamilton pulls up in his truck. Janan looks at me and I just shrug. I didn’t tell her I saw him yesterday.
“Thought I would come help,” he says nonchalantly.
Nova and I both look at Janan, who’s staring daggers at him.
“Great. You know us nineteen year old females, we don’t like to get dirty or break a nail.” She slams into his shoulder as she jumps off the back of the U-Haul and heads back into the house.
“She’ll have a lot of sarcastic and snide comments all day.” Nova warns him and follows Janan into the house.
Hamilton sighs and glances at me.
I chuckle. “Best of luck with her,” I tease him and head back to the house to grab more boxes.
He stays and neither of them really speaks to each other as we all four pack the truck. With Hamilton, it took less time since he can carry two boxes at a time with ease. My back and legs can’t handle the load.
I drive the truck over to the girls’ apartment as they follow in the car and Hamilton brings up the rear. We are able to unload it quickly and Hamilton sets up their beds for them. I had been working on the kitchen when I noticed I’m alone. I go off to find everyone and see Nova hiding in the hallway outside of Janan’s room. The door is almost closed.
“Hey what—”
Nova motions me to be quiet and waves me over.
“Are you eavesdropping?” I whisper and she nods. I roll my eyes because I can remember Nova doing this as a child all the time. She’s very quiet.
“Jan, I’m sorry.” Hamilton’s voice comes from the bedroom.
“Hamilton, I accept your apology, but it’s not going to change anything.” Janan admits. “I will forever be in your debt for how you helped my family and kept our secret. It was extremely honorable of you. I’m sure someday you’ll find an amazing woman, who isn’t nineteen, and have a great life.”
I hear a drawer shut.
“You have to see it from my side. I didn’t want to cross a line with you to make you feel I was forcing you into something you didn’t want to be in. You were in a fragile time in your life. I can remember how crazy my life had been at nineteen, and I didn’t even have half of your dilemmas in it.”
“Look.” Janan pauses. “You aren’t understanding what I’m saying. Never have I ever been fragile. My mother made sure of it. I did, I repeat did, have a lot of craziness in my life, but she’s dead, and now I can breathe again because Daddy and Nova are safe. When I told you how I felt about you, you chalked it up to me having a crush on you because you’re older than me, which it wasn’t. Believe whatever you want to sleep better at night. I know how I felt, and I thought you were on the same page as me.”
“I am now.”
“But it’s too late.” She cuts him off. “The moment has passed. I’m too good of a person to sit by my phone and hope the guy I like texts me for a late night blow job.”
“I want someone to respect and care for me because of who I am and what I have to offer to their life. Not my age. My age hasn’t nothing to do with it.”
“I shouldn’t have thought about it so much.” Hamilton sounds hurt.
“You’re right, and now you can live with the regret of what might have been.”
“Jan, please.”
“Don’t touch me, Hamilton.” She doesn’t say anything for a second. “Like I said before, you will always have a special place in my life for what you did for my family but nothing more in my life. I wish you all the best and thank you for the lesson of what I shouldn’t do the next time I want to be with someone.”
There’s more silence in the room and then Janan tells him to leave. Nova and I scurry to the kitchen and I feel awful for listening in, but at the same time I’m glad Janan stood up for herself. A moment later Hamilton comes in.
“Coach, looks like everything’s all good here. I’m going to head out.”
Yes, he’s sad and trying to hide it.
“Okay. Thank you,” I say and Nova gives him a hug.
“Bye, Hammy.”
He smiles down at her and leaves.
“I’m going to check on Janan.” Nova heads off and I follow her. We both find Janan sitting on the side of her bed, fighting back the tears. “You okay?”
She glances up at us. “I’m good.” She smiles and even though she’s lying I’m positive she’ll bounce right back to her old self soon.
Chapter Eight
THE HOUSE IS much different without the girls. I have stared at both of their empty rooms for a while now, unsure of where the time has gone. It seems like yesterday Sharon had told me she was pregnant.
Has it been over nineteen years…
I walk into the kitchen after a long workout and practice with the Indiana Mustangs. I enjoy Indiana and I think Sharon does too.
“Taddy, are you home?”
“Yes.” I grab a glass of water. “I’m in the kitchen.”
“Could you come into the bathroom?”
I set my glass down and head toward her. “You okay? Are you still sick?” For the past week, we’ve been thinking she has the flu or a stomach bug.
“I’m not sick.” Her brown hair is short and pushed back with a headband. “Look.” She points down to the vanity and there are four white sticks.
“What’s going on?” I go in for a closer inspection.
“Taddy, I’m pregnant.”
As I look again I realize I’m looking at pregnancy tests. All have two bright pink lines on them. ‘‘Holy shit.”
I spin around and Sharon is standing near the door with tears in her eyes. I rush to her and wrap my arms around her.
“I’m so happy, Taddy. I’m so happy.”
I continue to gawk at Janan’s room before crossing the hall and doing the same to Nova’s space. Her walls are pink. The girl loves pink more than anything because it reminds her of cupcake frosting.
Seventeen years she’s lived with us…
“Sharon, she’ll go into foster care. You know her shitty father isn’t going to want her. I can’t let my only niece live with strangers.” I hold my tiny niece in my arms. She’s fast asleep and we need to make a decision soon.
“Taddy, she can live with us. She’s our family. We never let family down.” Sharon runs her fingers through my hair and kisses my forehead. “It’ll all work out. We’ll make it work.”
She made it all sound simple and easy, almost perfect. Where did it all go wrong? What did I do to make it all change? It had to be me, right?
“YOU THINK YOU’RE the one who caused Sharon to change and start drinking?” Caryn asks.
“It has to be me, right? There’s no other underlying factors.” I’m standing in front of the sunflower painting. “I put too much stress on her and demanded too much.”
“What did you demand from her?” she questions me.
“Take care of the girls. Keep the house. Be at my beck and call,” I explain.
“You demanded all these things from her?”
“It had been implied,” I reply.
“And Sharon had no say in the matters? You just brought Nova into the house, handed her to Sharon and went off to work, right?”
I turn back to Caryn as she’s jotting down notes. “No. We talked about her staying home and taking care of the girls. I had actually suggested a babysitter for Sharon so she could continue to work.”
“Doesn’t sound demanding to me. Did you force her to drink as well?”
I shake my head. “It had started out as a glass of wine or two a night and then, well, it just progressed.”
“Because you demanded her to drink.”
“No, I mean I understood a glass of wine at night to unwind and such. When it became worse I did everything to help her. Hell, I sent her to rehab.” I sit on the couch.
“None of this sounds as if you demanded anything from her.” Caryn leans forward. “Taden, no one will ever know why Sharon did what she did or why she drank. If you’re looking for the answer, I can tell you there isn’t one and beating yourself up over it isn’t going to help one bit. You’re here to focus on you and your life. What will happen if you dwell on the past, Taden?”
I shrug.
“Come on, Taden, let’s not be an emo teenager right now. What will happen if you keep your thoughts in the past?”
“I’ll never move forward,” I answer her.
“And you want to move forward, right? You have the house on the market and you’re about to close on your condo. Isn’t that what you want?”
“Yes,” I blurt quickly. “I do. I want to move on.”
“Then that’s what I’m going to help you with.” She smiles.
I STROLL INTO the steakhouse and see Nova at the hostess stand. “Well, look at you, working lady.” I tease her.
“Uncle Tad.” She looks up and smiles. “Are you here to see Uncle Oliver and Mr. Philips?”
“Yes.”
“This way.” She leads me back to the private dining area.
Oliver and Connor are already drinking beers when I sit down. “Hello, guys.”
“We didn’t order you anything. We weren’t sure what you wanted.” Oliver informs me, sipping his beer.
The waiter comes and I order a water and we all order our food. Considering we’re steak and potato guys, it’s a simple order.
“Why did you guys call for this meeting?” I ask. I’m not nervous, just curious about it.
“We’ve received all your doctor reports and it all looks good,” Oliver begins. “Even though the season is pretty much over, we need to start focusing on next season and the draft.”
“Are you saying it’s time to come back to work?” I ask mainly because I want to hear them say the words.
“Yes,” Connor answers. “I have a list of potential draftees I’d like to go over.”
Normally, the general manager is the controller of who is on the roster, but Connor makes sure I’m involved in every step. It’s a rarity.
“The main question we have to ask, Tad, is, are you ready?” Oliver questions.
“I’m more than ready,” I quip.
“Great.” He claps his large hands together and rubs them. “Now, let’s get down to work.”
For the next hour and a half, Connor takes notes on a small pad of paper about roster changes, line changes and draftees. I express, more than once, how much I think this roster could get us to the championship. The catch for this year’s draft is we don’t have many choices since we had traded many spots away.
“I’ll see you at the office in the morning.” Connor shakes my hand and leaves Oliver and me alone.
“Tad, tell me honestly friend.” He places his hand on my shoulder. “Are you ready to come back? Your job isn’t in jeopardy.”
“Oliver, I need to come back to work or I’m going to lose my mind.”
He smirks. “Then
get some rest. Tomorrow is going to be a long day.”
WALKING INTO MY office is how a person should feel walking into their home. This is my home. I sit down and smile. Sure, I’m alone in my office, but I’m happy here, even though there are only five games left.
I flip through the daily emails, but there’s nothing serious since the season is about over. Then the summer activities start. I’m sure the PR department will be soon sending down the list of our duties for the offseason.
I change into my Bears uniform of sweats and skates and head into the locker room where I’m greeted with cheering and whooping from the team.
“All right. All right. Enough.” I calm them down. “Just because we only have five games left doesn’t mean I’m going easy on your asses. Let’s hit the ice.”
A few players are already out there. Vance and Hamilton always seem to be first. Those two have a serious work ethic to hockey. Hamilton’s eyes land on me and he simply nods. I can feel the tension between us and I don’t want there to be any. The guy is a good guy, just inexperienced with woman. Like I have room to talk about the subject manner. Look how my marriage was and ended.
I get the team into doing drills as Mike and Kevin fill me in on a few topics. Most of it revolved around Nathan and Teo. Kevin had called Teo back up to be Nathan’s backup on the bench, hoping it would help both of them. In truth, both are just as bad, Nathan being the lesser of the two.
“We can’t seem to get through to either of them and we don’t have any better options on the farm,” Mike says.
“After practice send them both to me. I’ll see if we can’t figure this out,” I tell them and blow the whistle for the team to come in.
For the next two hours we run through drills. Hard. I’m not letting up on these guys. It’s not punishment by any means, but it’s time for them to see their potential and get them back on the right track. Even if the season is about to end.
The guys are worked hard as we all make our way back to the locker rooms. Nathan and Teo are both waiting for me outside my office.