by Diana Bold
She smiled, not wanting him to know she had any concerns about the prospect of marrying Tristan. “Your father has asked me to marry him.”
Billy’s mouth formed a perfect “O” of surprise. “Why would he want to do that?” he asked after his obvious shock had worn off. “He doesn’t even like you.”
Savannah flinched at the accuracy of her son’s words, but she forged on, determined to make this work. “It’s true that he isn’t too pleased with me at the moment,” she conceded.
The understatement of the year.
“But he once cared a great deal about me and I’m certain, with a little time, he’ll grow to care for me again. Anyway, the important thing is that we both love you. We both want to be a family, the way it should have been all along.”
Billy was silent, staring at her as his expression slowly went from anger to wonder.
“Well?” Savannah asked, realizing her son had been dreaming of this all along. “What do you think?”
“If you marry him, he’ll have to stay here with us always, won’t he?”
“Yes,” Savannah said softly. “He will.”
“Then I think we should marry him,” Billy told her solemnly. “How soon can we do it?
Chapter Seventeen
“We should have a double wedding,” Ian suggested to the small group gathered in the parlor later that morning. “It would make things much simpler, and Mary and I wouldn’t mind, would we, darling?”
Savannah turned her gaze to her soon‐to‐be sister‐in‐law, consternation wrinkling her brow. She, more than anyone, knew how much time and energy Mary had spent arranging her and Ian’s wedding, which was set to take place in two weeks. The last thing she wanted to do was ruin her friend’s special day.
“It’s fine with me,” Mary said with a breezy smile. “We’d be honored to have you join us.”
Savannah frowned, trying to read more into her friend’s easy acquiescence. If she and Tristan were marrying for the right reasons instead of the wrong ones, she wouldn’t have wanted to share that special moment with anyone.
“Are you sure?” She reached over and squeezed Mary’s hand. “Don’t feel like you have to say yes. Tristan and I will understand if you’d rather we wait for a week or two.”
Tristan cleared his throat, speaking for the first time since the two couples had sat down to discuss their wedding. “Savannah’s right. We don’t want to ruin things for you.” He glanced at Savannah, and she was shocked anew by the utter lack of emotion in the depths of his emerald eyes. “In fact, I think Savannah and I should just go into town tomorrow and get married by the Justice of the Peace.”
Tomorrow.
Savannah returned his gaze, trying to not to show the bone‐deep terror his words provoked. She wasn’t ready for this. Not yet. She’d hoped to have a little more time to get past his anger before moving into his house and sharing his bed.
“Surely there’s no rush,” Ian interjected before she could voice the same opinion.
Tristan set his jaw. “I don’t see the point in waiting. Besides, under the circumstances, I don’t see the need for a big, church wedding.”
Savannah swallowed back a cry of dismay. She knew he was angry with her, but she’d never expected him to deny her the right to marry in a church. No matter what had precipitated this wedding, she still planned to honor their vows. Didn’t he?
“Women set quite a store by a church wedding,” Ian interjected, his voice laced with warning. “No matter how all this came about, Savannah still deserves to have her special day.”
Savannah dropped her gaze, unable to look at anyone. As much as she wanted a church wedding, she didn’t feel she deserved one. “It’s all right, Ian. It would be easier for everyone if we just went to the Justice of the Peace. Billy is anxious to move down to the cabin, anyway.”
Ian made a disgruntled noise, but didn’t say anything further.
Tristan sighed and stood up. “Well then, it’s settled. We’ll move your things down to the cabin in the morning, and then ride into town tomorrow afternoon.”
Savannah nodded, trying hard not to give into her despair.
Tomorrow she would become the wife of a man who didn’t even care enough for her to swear his vows before God.
What on earth was she getting herself into?
* * * * *
Tristan knew he was being a jackass.
He left Savannah sitting in the parlor with her brother and Mary, all her wedding hopes dashed to bits, but his actions hadn’t brought the satisfaction he’d expected. In fact, it was all he could do to keep from going back in there and begging her to forgive him.
What would it hurt, really, to get married in a church with her family and friends looking on?
He’d only suggested the Justice of Peace to be difficult, to prove he was only marrying her because of Billy—that he had no desire whatsoever to look into her beautiful eyes and pledge to love and cherish her for the rest of his days.
Hell, didn’t she remember he’d already done that beneath a towering old oak in Maryland nearly eleven years ago?
Still, he wasn’t going to back down. If he had to stand there, put a ring on her finger and kiss her at the altar, he was afraid the shell he’d erected around his heart would crack into a million pieces.
He couldn’t let go of his anger, not now, not yet. He was terrified if she knew how much he still loved her, she’d use it against him in some way. That he’d forever be off balance and vulnerable.
He couldn’t let that happen. Even if it meant ruining Savannah’s wedding day.
* * * * *
Savannah searched dejectedly through her closet, trying to decide what to wear for her wedding. It had been months since she’d had a new dress—there weren’t many occasions that required one, living as they did in near total isolation. But she’d never expected to have to wear an old work dress to her wedding.
Sighing, she thought of the dresses she’d owned before the war.
Gowns from Paris, London and New York. Satins and silks, Belgian lace, corsets and stays...
Frowning, she turned to look in the mirror. She wore only a chemise beneath her plain cotton dress. Her hands were rough and calloused, and her hair limp and straggly. No wonder Tristan didn’t want to stand beside her in a church. She no longer resembled the pampered girl he’d fallen in love with.
In many ways, she was proud of the person she’d become—no longer a worthless trophy for a rich man to parade around like a dressed-up doll on his arm but a strong, independent woman. Still, what she wouldn’t give to see Tristan’s eyes light up at the sight of her, the way they once had.
Overwhelmed with despair, she didn’t even hear Mary enter her room, wasn’t aware she was there until her friend touched her lightly on the shoulder. “Are you all right?”
Suddenly the entire situation was too much. Savannah turned around, a sob bursting from her lips before she could stop it. “I d‐don’t have a th‐thing to wear!”
Mary laughed in startled surprise and then hugged her. “Is that the only thing wrong? Or have you decided you don’t want to marry him after all?”
Savannah just cried harder, all her worry and fear pouring out of her in an unstoppable flood. “I don’t know. I’m afraid I’m making a terrible mistake.”
Mary pulled away so Savannah was forced to meet her concerned gaze. “Ian sent me up to tell you it’s all right for you to call the whole thing off. He’s furious because that man is making you get married by a Justice of the Peace. If he cares for your feelings so little now, this marriage will be a disaster.ʺ
“Oh, Mary, it’s not like that at all. You don’t understand.” Savannah was determined not to let her friend think badly of Tristan, no matter how he was behaving.
Mary bit her lip, clearly embarrassed. “Ian told me about Billy. But that doesn’t excuse the way that man behaved toward you.”
That man. Savannah smiled through her tears. “His name is Tristan. And I
am going to marry him, even though you and Ian may not approve. Because I love him. I can’t bear to lose him again.”
Mary stared at her for a long moment then sighed and shook her head. “You’re sure?”
“Absolutely.” It was true. The brief cry had helped. She’d been resisting her tears all day. Perhaps it was good to have finally shed some.
“Well then, wait here for a moment. I have something for you.” With a wink, Mary turned and left the room.
When she returned moments later, she had a large burlap bundle in her arms. She set it down on the bed and unwrapped it, revealing a length of sky blue silk and white lace. “My wedding present to you.”
Savannah reached out and touched the material reverently. “It’s beautiful, but there isn’t time…”
“Maybe not for one set of hands, but with both of us working together, and the men fending for themselves for lunch and dinner, I think we might be able to pull it off.”
Savannah wiped away her tears with the back of one hand, a smile lighting her soul for the first time in days. Mary smiled back, and Savannah impulsively hugged her friend. She was so pleased Mary hadn’t tried to talk her out of marrying Tristan once she’d made up her mind.
“I’ll never forget this. And I can’t wait until we’re truly sisters.” Mary wiped away a tear of her own. “Let’s get started, then.”
Chapter Eighteen
Tristan awoke to a knock on the cabin door early the next morning. The first rays of morning light were barely lightening his bedroom walls, and he cursed beneath his breath as he hurried to dress.
Who the hell was at his door this early? Didn’t they know it was his wedding day, for God’s sake?
He stomped through the main room and flung open the front door, only to find his soon‐to‐be wife, her arms piled high with an assortment of household items. She gave him a wan smile, and he was shocked to see the dark circles beneath her beautiful eyes.
“Do you know what time it is?” he asked, stepping back to let her in.
“I couldn’t sleep,” she mumbled, crossing the room to deposit her load on the table. “You said you wanted me to move all my things down here this morning, so I thought I’d get an early start.”
He frowned. “I didn’t expect you at the crack of dawn. And I didn’t mean for you to do it all by yourself. I intended to help you.”
“Well, there was a lot to do. And I wanted to get it all done before the wedding. Besides, I still haven’t started cleaning out the other bedroom for Billy. If I don’t get it done today, where on earth will he sleep tonight?”
Tristan stepped forward and grabbed Savannah’s arm, stopping her long, breathless stream of conversation. “Billy’s going to stay with Ian and Joel tonight. I’ve already spoken to him about it.”
“But why?” Her eyes were round and startled, yet filled with a wary hope that nearly tore his heart out.
“You know why. This is our wedding night.” The mere thought of the night to come made him hard. He shifted uncomfortably, moving so that the table separated them.
“I didn’t think…” She broke off, twisting her hands nervously in front of her.
He leaned forward and lifted her chin with a gentle fingertip, forcing her to meet his gaze. “You didn’t think what?”
She cleared her throat, her embarrassment obvious. “I didn’t think you still wanted me. Not in that way.”
“I’ll always want you in that way,” he told her, forcing himself to be casually cruel. “In fact, I consider the unlimited use of your body one of the only good things about this whole marriage.”
Savannah paled and jerked away. She turned her back and started unpacking the dishes, pots and pans she’d brought with her, as though she hadn’t a care in the world. But the tremor in her hands gave her away. The urge to take her in his arms and kiss away the hurt his words had caused was nearly unbearable. He didn’t know how much longer he could keep up this charade.
After a long moment of silence, Savannah turned back to face him as though the last few moments had not happened. “There are some large items of furniture that need moved down here. A grandfather clock, one of the sofas from the parlor, some rugs and my bedroom suite. Joel will help you, if you want to hitch up the wagon.”
“All right.” Perhaps it was best to get away from her for a while. After tonight, they’d have all the time in the world to work things out.
* * * * *
Savannah gave one last look around the snug little cabin that was once again going to be her home. She was pleased with the transformation she’d managed to make in the last few hours. Paintings and portraits now hung on the formerly bare walls, the hard, wooden floors were covered in places by soft, colorful rugs, and the living area now boasted a comfortable sofa for long evenings in front of the fire.
Dear Lord, she had so many hopes and dreams for this small house.
All she had to do was close her eyes and she could picture the three of them, popping corn and drinking hot cider, laughing and talking and cuddling beneath a soft, sweet‐smelling blanket on a cold winter’s night.
She could imagine their first Christmas together, even the possibility of more children. Maybe a daughter, whom Tristan would have the opportunity to hold and bathe and watch grow up.
But all her plans hinged on Tristan’s forgiveness, and she was very afraid he was never going to give it to her.
She suppressed a shudder when she thought of his words this morning. He’d said the only thing he wanted out of their marriage was unlimited access to her body. Was that truly all he cared about? Or was he still so angry he was trying to hurt her the way she’d hurt him?
She prayed for the latter, because she was terrified he’d meant what he’d said. If he intended to use her as little more than a whore, she didn’t know how she was going to bear it.
“Savannah?”
She turned at the sound of Joel’s voice, hoping her troubled thoughts didn’t show. “Have you come to fetch me?”
He laughed and crossed the room, giving her a swift, fierce hug. “Mary is having fits. The two of you were up half the night making that wedding dress, and now she’s afraid you aren’t even planning to come clean up and get into it.”
Savannah brushed a straggling strand of hair out of her eyes with the back of her grimy arm. “Well, I’d better hurry up there then. I wouldn’t want to disappoint her.”
When she would have turned to leave, Joel caught her arm. “Tell me the truth, sis. Are you hiding out down here because you’re having second thoughts?”
She looked into her brother’s earnest blue eyes and was pleased to find him completely sober. Perhaps her lies hadn’t totally driven him over the edge. It was one small worry off her shoulders.
“I’m fine. I just wanted everything to be perfect for tonight.”
He nodded, although he didn’t look convinced. “Just remember, it’s not too late to change your mind. All you have to do is say the word. Ian and I will support you no matter what you decide.”
She tried to summon a smile, but knew it fell far short of the mark. “Then support my marriage. I truly think everything will work out in the end. I’m not crazy; I know it will take some time. A lot of time, perhaps. But it can’t be any harder to live with him than it’s been to live without him for the last ten years.”
Joel sighed and dropped his gaze. “I didn’t realize you were so lonely. I feel as though I’ve failed you.”
She shook her head. “You didn’t fail me. It was my own fault. At least now my life will have some purpose. I’ve been drifting lately. You know that. And to tell the truth, I’ve been terrified by Ian and Mary’s marriage. I mean, what was I supposed to do, when it was Mary’s house, Mary’s kitchen?”
“It wouldn’t have been like that. You know Ian would never have allowed her to replace you. Besides, I don’t think she’s that kind of person.”
“No, she’s not,” Savannah agreed. “But she still must have been as uncomf
ortable about the whole thing as I was. I know I wouldn’t want to marry a man, knowing his old spinster sister ran his house.”
“You’re far from a spinster.” Joel steered her toward a big, oak‐framed mirror behind them. “Just look at yourself. You’re still so beautiful.”
Savannah didn’t want to look. She knew what she’d see. A tired, troubled woman, with bags under her eyes from yet another sleepless night and the weight of the entire world on her slim shoulders.
She tried to shrug out of his grasp, but he held tight. “Look. Just look.”
Hesitantly, she lifted her gaze. As she’d suspected, she did look tired and worried, but the underlying excitement in her eyes was impossible to miss, and her wild, unkempt hair made her look younger than her years.
“I know what you mean by drifting.” Joel met her gaze in the mirror. She was stunned by the sadness in him, the regret. “I lost my family and my profession because of that war. I don’t belong here on this ranch. I never have. I’ve just allowed Ian to pull me along, replacing my dreams with his.”
She took his hand and squeezed it. “You should practice medicine again. We both know that’s the only thing that will make you happy.”
“And you’re probably right. You don’t belong in Ian’s house when he’s on the verge of starting a family of his own. But you do belong with Tristan. I see that more clearly than I’ve seen anything in years.”
Savannah turned and hugged her brother tightly. “Thank you. Thank you for being here, and thank you for understanding.”
He laughed and pulled away. “Well, let’s go. You’ve got a wedding to prepare for, don’t you?”
She nodded and sent one last, swift prayer winging upward. “Yes. I sure do.”
Chapter Nineteen
Tristan paced the wide hall beneath the staircase, waiting for his bride. It had been over an hour since Joel had brought her up from the cabin, and there had been nothing but total silence from the direction of her bedroom ever since.