All I Want for Christmas

by Jenny Hale

  * * *

  “When David texted me to get kitten supplies at the pet store, I thought he’d gone a little crazy,” June said, carefully buckling a petite red collar around the kitten’s neck. They’d told her the story when she’d come home. She set her down and the cat ran to her bowl of food for the second time. “But judging by the shape she’s in, she hadn’t wandered far. She’d have frostbite if she had.”

  “But there aren’t any houses around. And there were no other cats. Where has she come from?”

  “I don’t know. You don’t think someone would drop her off in this weather, do you?” June asked, concern flooding her face.

  “No one dropped her off,” Sadie said, as she and the other two children crowded around the cat, petting her as she ate. “She was meant for me.”

  June leaned over them to get another look. “What are you going to call her, Sadie?”

  “Lucky,” she said, as if she’d always had a name in mind. But then she explained. “Lucky, because I’m so lucky to have her and she’s so lucky we found her.”

  “I love that,” Leah said.

  Chapter 24

  Sadie had scooped Lucky into her arms and taken her with the kids upstairs. David was up behind them, changing into dry clothes, and the others were all in need of a break, so June had opened an early bottle of wine since they’d spent the whole afternoon cooking, and they’d settled in the sitting room.

  “I feel like Nina put that cat here,” June said, taking a sip of her wine and looking at the glass for a long time.

  “I thought the same,” Leah agreed as she sat down next to Roz, Louise across from them in a chair. “Thank you for watching Sadie and the kids today, Samuel. I know it was a lot of work.”

  “Oh, it’s fine.” He was visibly tired as he sat in the chair by the fire, a glass of red wine in his hand. “I never had kids of my own. I feel like I missed out, and I’m happy to spend time with them.” He looked over at the fire as if deciding something. Then, he said to Leah, “Would you like to hear about my little Sadie now?”

  “Are you sure?” She worried that he might feel uncomfortable, having everyone else in the room.

  Samuel insisted it was just fine.

  “Then yes.”

  David came down in a clean outfit and sat on the other side of Leah on the settee, just in time for the story.

  “Nina had complained of lower back pain all day—I still remember it,” Samuel said, looking at the fire for a moment before he continued. “I promised I’d come over and give her a back rub that night. She’d refused to move in with me, for the sake of the children, and she hadn’t told them she was expecting our child. She was waiting to find a good time.” He swallowed, the sadness evident on his face as he tried to continue the story. “She’d said she was fine, and she went home. That night, she called me. She was having terrible cramps, and she said something just didn’t feel right. A neighbor sat with the kids while I took her to the hospital. We lost Sadie that night. The kids never knew a thing. Nina hid her pain and her sadness from them. But I’ve always missed our little girl.”

  “Wow,” Leah said, at a loss for words. No wonder Nan had been so understanding when she’d told her she was pregnant. And now, knowing what she knew, she was so thankful she’d used the name Sadie for her own little girl. After that story, it had new meaning for her.

  “Being with Sadie today doesn’t make the pain go away completely, but it makes me feel like I’ve found a missing piece of the puzzle.”

  She took a moment to look around and every eye was on him. Louise’s elbow was resting on the arm of the chair and she had leaned her head on her fist as she listened; Roz had taken the sofa pillow and put it in her lap, her legs curled underneath her, her complete attention on Samuel; June was in the rocker, her legs crossed, her wine untouched. Leah turned to look at David and was surprised when she realized he was looking at her. She smiled and turned back to Samuel.

  “Did you ever try to marry Nan?” she asked, feeling protective of her grandmother. Nan should’ve had Samuel to go through life with her. He could’ve helped her in her last days.

  “When I found out she was pregnant, I orchestrated the perfect sentiment, the most heartfelt way to tell her how much I loved her. I proposed to her that night, and she said no.”

  “Why?” Leah was baffled by this news.

  “She didn’t want to get married just because of the baby, and I couldn’t convince her that my proposal had nothing to do with that. We should’ve done things the other way around, but in the end, we didn’t, and that was just how it was.”

  “I like having you here,” Leah said out of the blue. “I feel closer to Nan than I have since we lost her. I feel like you were the only one who really knew her.”

  He was leaning back in the chair, his glass swinging from his fingers. “She was the love of my life. I like being here too. It makes me feel… whole again. For so many years I’ve been missing something, and I feel closer to her here as well.”

  “How are you still fond of her when she refused to marry you and she ran away and never answered your letters?”

  There was a moment when Samuel was silent, as if he were trying to find the right words. The candles flickered on the mantle, their flames vibrant despite the daylight coming in through the large windows. Finally, he spoke. “Because I separated her fear from who she really was. It was her fear that drove her away from being happy. It wouldn’t do me any good to allow that fear to ruin what we had. I never held her running away against her. There was a part of her, after your grandfather died, that was so fragile I felt as though I needed to hold her hand to keep her together. In the end, when she lost the baby, that fragile part of her shattered and she shut me out completely. That’s my take on it anyway.”

  “So what happened? Did she just leave you?”

  “A week after she lost the baby, she sent me a letter telling me that she couldn’t take any more loss. She wasn’t ready to be vulnerable, she said. To her, love was vulnerability, but to me, you see, love is strength. Loving Nina was what gave me the energy to see life again. But I’d never get the chance to convince her of my view or change her mind. When I went to her house, she was gone. It was empty. I remember the sinking feeling as I peered into the dark windows, every single shred of her having vanished.”

  “You must have felt terrible.” The whole room was looking on, and as Leah listened, she felt the strength in having that quiet support of her loved ones around her.

  “Yes. I didn’t know what to do. That was when I started writing the letters. It wasn’t just a quick romance. It was years in the making. Nina worked for me the whole time and I was a perfect gentleman. Our mutual loneliness was how it began. We’d eat lunch together, have dinner when the kids were at parties or sleepovers. She stopped by the house when they were at school… Then, one day—I still remember it—the change in her eyes when she looked at me. That friendliness, that excitement, and happiness when she saw me deepened and I saw love in her eyes. It scared me a little. I’d never felt like that, and all of a sudden, I knew I wanted to see that look for the rest of my life.

  “She’d told me once that she’d gotten quite good at being on her own and she just didn’t have the courage to allow anyone else into her world. But that night, when she looked at me the way she did, I could tell that her resolve had faltered. I kissed her right then. It was the most glorious moment. I knew then that I loved her.”

  “That’s a beautiful story,” Leah said, wondering how Nan had had the strength to run away from that kind of love. Was that what Nan had been trying to tell her about regrets? Don’t run away from what makes you whole? And right there, with everyone around her, she felt whole.

  * * *

  After Samuel’s story, David had gone up to the sewing room to work. Leah felt the need to make sure he was okay, not believing his story about working since it was so late in the day, so she went up there. She closed the door behind her, and he looked up.


  “I just wanted to check on you,” she said, walking over to him. “You look like you have a lot on your mind.”

  He stood up, facing her. He wasn’t smiling; he looked concerned, his gaze swallowing her up.

  It could’ve been the fact that she had a house full of people she enjoyed, the Christmas decorations, the smell of the food, and her parents in flight to Evergreen Hill, but all she wanted right now was to forget about the fact that she’d signed the house over to David, and just enjoy being with him. His compassion today made her realize how much she liked having him around.

  Suddenly unable to say anything, her emotions were welling up. She blinked, successfully keeping them from spilling over, thank goodness.

  “Sadie’s crying over the house broke my heart.” He looked at her for a long time before speaking as she scrambled to get herself together. “And so did yours,” he finally said.

  He put his arms around her in a comforting way, but as she wrapped hers around him, he pulled her closer. When she’d gotten herself together, she looked up into his eyes, trying to find the reason for his affectionate embrace. He reached up and moved her hair off her shoulder, putting it behind her.

  “I’ve been thinking a lot about the house,” he said, looking down at her with concern in his eyes. “Losing Sadie scared me to death. That night, all night, all I thought about was what it would feel like when you left—how empty that would be for me now. I don’t want to lose you and Sadie.”

  “What are you saying?”

  “What if you and Sadie stay here with me?”

  Was he asking to share the house? “I couldn’t… afford it.” She hated to even admit that, but he was being so honest, she felt like she could be too.

  “With a million dollars in your pocket?”

  “You mean you’d want me to live here, while you owned it, and what—me pay rent?”

  “Or you could keep your half. I’ll take care of things until you can get a job here.”

  While it was a very generous offer, she did have her pride, and she wasn’t going to take handouts. That wasn’t who she was. “I’m sorry,” she said, shaking her head at the same time. “I can’t do that.” She pulled away from him. “I’ve signed the papers, David. I did what you wanted. There isn’t any other way.”

  Ultimately, it was still David’s house, and she couldn’t live there and watch him make changes to it, make the sole decisions for it, while he spent his hard-earned money to keep her and Sadie afloat. That wasn’t how things should be.

  “That’s not what I want anymore,” he said, his voice almost pleading.

  “David, I’m flattered, but things wouldn’t end the way we’d want them to in that scenario.”

  “How do you know unless you try?”

  “I just know.” She started toward the door. “I’m going to check on Sadie,” she said.

  But he caught her arm. “Wait,” he said urgently. “If I let you go, I’ll regret it.”

  They both stared at each other, the word “regret” hanging between them.

  “Stay a little while after Christmas. We’ll figure it out.”

  “I signed the papers,” she said again for emphasis.

  He locked eyes with her, his stare direct and focused. “But I never sent them.”

  “Why?” Her voice came out in almost a whisper. She was so confused. She’d signed those papers well before Sadie had gone missing, before David’s revelation that he didn’t want to lose her.

  “Because I can’t take the house from you. I felt awful.” He took a step into her personal space and placed his hands on her arms gently. “I don’t know where to go from here. I just know that I want you with me.”

  Then he put his hand on her face, drawing her near. As if asking permission with his look, he moved his lips closer to hers. She closed her eyes in response. Then, there was an explosion in her body as she felt his warm lips on hers, and it was as if they were meant to be together. Like pieces of a puzzle, their lips moved perfectly together, his breath mixing with hers. She reached up and grabbed the back of his neck, running her nails along his hairline as he grabbed at her waist. They kissed so passionately that she forgot where she was or why she’d come into that room anyway. All she could think about was that one moment.

  When they’d finally slowed to a more regular level, he pulled back and looked at her, a grin on his face. Neither of them said a word. Then lightly he bent down and touched his lips to hers one more time.

  * * *

  “Ah–hem,” Roz said, when Leah went back to her room to freshen up. She wanted to make sure she didn’t look like she’d just made out with David. Roz was sitting on her bed. “Would you like to tell me why you just came out of that room with a weirdly happy look on your face?”

  “I was just thanking David for saving Lucky.” She tried not to give herself away, straightening her face to a more regular look.

  Roz squinted her eyes. “And how were you thanking him, exactly?”

  “Roz!” Her voice came out in an exasperated gasp.

  “Don’t play Mrs. Manners with me. I can see it all over your face.”

  “It was just a kiss,” she admitted.

  Roz’s mouth hung open and she lifted off the bed like a rocket, landing right in front of Leah, grabbing her shoulders and shaking them. “You kissed the enemy?”

  Leah tipped her head back and laughed.

  “Look at you. Laughing like you’ve been hit by some sort of love arrow. Get a grip, woman.”

  “I’m totally fine,” she said, still laughing as she pulled away.

  All of a sudden, Roz clapped her hand over her mouth and gawked at her friend. “Did you seduce him to get Evergreen Hill back?” she teased. “You are brilliant!”

  Leah rolled her eyes. “He kissed me. And he asked me to stay after Christmas.”

  Roz’s eyes got big with that news. “Whatever you’re doing. Keep doing it!”

  Chapter 25

  The Christmas tree was lit and the turkey was baking when Leah’s family pulled up to the house in a rented SUV. They got out, carrying loads of shopping bags in their arms. “Sadie!” Leah called. “Gran and Gramps, Uncle William, and Aunt Claire are here!”

  Sadie, Jo, and Ethan all came running, Sadie holding Lucky in her arms with an enormous smile spread across her face. Leah was delighted at the sight of her daughter so flushed and happy.

  “Hi, Gran! Hi, Gramps!” she called, stepping precariously onto the icy porch.

  “Sadie, come back in. You’re in your socks, your toes will freeze,” Leah warned.

  Leah’s mother struggled to climb through the snow in her red designer heels, despite the path that David had shoveled earlier that morning, while her aunt and uncle were pulling their bags from the vehicle. As the cold temperatures had dipped even further, the walk had gotten icy. Leah’s father was holding her arm, steadying her.

  June hurried in from the kitchen and met them at the door, followed by David.

  “Oh my gosh! June?” Leah’s mother said as she planted her feet on the solid hardwoods just inside the door. She set down the carrier bags and gave her a warm hug. “It’s been so long.”

  “You look amazing!” June said, shaking her head.

  “Thank you!” Leah’s mother looked over at David, recognition finally hitting. She put her hand to her chest. “Davey?”

  He grinned, nodding. “I go by David now,” he said with a chuckle. He shook hands with William and nodded at Claire as they arrived at the door with more bags.

  Leah’s mom gave David a hug, and she said, “You’ll always be Davey to me.”

  “Hi, pumpkin,” Leah’s dad said to Sadie, giving her a big bear hug and sweeping her up into the air.

  “Oh, you’re cold, Gramps!” Sadie said with a wiggle.

  He set her down and greeted Leah, “Hi, sweetheart. How are you doing?” His face was consoling, and she realized that it was the first time he’d seen her since the funeral. So much had happ
ened since then—she’d had so many emotions—but she wasn’t sad. She felt Nan with them.

  “I’m okay. I can’t wait to introduce you to Samuel,” she said. “You’ll never believe his stories.”

  “Everyone’s in the sitting room,” June said. “I’ll get us all a drink. What will you have, Marie?”

  “I’d love a glass of white, but whatever’s open,” she said, before turning to Leah to give her a hug.

  Leah took their coats, and they all settled in the sitting room. Every chair was full. Sadie and Jo were on the floor, while Ethan played with the cat, using one of the new mouse toys June had bought. David patted the spot beside him on the settee, and Leah sat down. When she did, he put his arm around her. She didn’t even flinch.

  After a little bit of conversation, and once they were all relaxed, everyone having taken their bags upstairs, Leah passed out drinks and took the lead. Nan usually did, so she thought it would be fitting for her to do that part. She stood up. “For the new folks, family Christmas starts with an opening toast to celebrate another year together, where we all say one thing we’re thankful for and then we have a big group toast. Does everyone have drink?”

  There was collective nodding and June stood up. “May I go first?”

  “Of course,” Leah said. David had his arm on the back of the settee, and she sat back down, leaning against his side. He moved his hand to her shoulder and scratched it lightly to show his affection.

  “I’m thankful for this room of friendly faces. How comforting to know that we are not alone.”

  “I’ll be next! I’m thankful for Lucky,” Sadie said, and she gave Lucky a big cuddle, the kitten purring in her arms.

  As everyone went around saying what they were thankful for, Leah thought about all the blessings she’d had: Sadie, Nan, her family, meeting Samuel, and… David. The times she and David had shared together flashed in her mind like a slideshow: the moment she’d first seen him, the M&M hitting his face, the way he’d looked at her when she’d thanked him for stringing the lights outside… She smiled.