When he settled again, she told him about her father’s intuition that there would be ‘coming events,’ which would be labeled as government ‘processing’ or ‘federal aid’, but which would actually be different. The government was trapped, she explained, damned if it did and damned if it didn’t. At this point, there was not enough food for everyone. Period. Nothing they could do, she shook her head.
“But we can escape Sean,” she said with newfound excitement. “That is why I have been training so hard. Because Papa left me with a plan to get away to a place where we will be safe and there will be Truefood.”
“How?” he asked, confused. “Where?”
“Eden,” she smiled.
Something about her smile and her insistence that she had a plan helped to settle Sean’s nerves, if only a little. Uncle Mike had thrown her a lifeline and she was throwing it to him and his family. Now that she’d explained it, explained all of it, he understood why she had not told him. With the burden she’d been bearing alone he was surprised she hadn’t gone crazy.
He gave a long low whistle when she finished. “Jesus Fi. How have you been doing all this, keeping all this inside?” he asked, thumbing through her father’s journal.
“I don’t know, I just have,” she sighed. “You gotta do what you gotta do, right?” she said with a shrug and Sean eyed her again. Fi had always been a tough girl, but there was something different about her now. Like a new edge had been honed. Even the fact that she wouldn’t complain about this, about any of it, to him was different. Over the years she had spent hours complaining to him about silly things like unfair grades and annoying classmates. Now she’s carrying the weight of the world on her shoulders and it was just, ‘shrug – gotta do what you gotta do’? He shook his head.
“I guess Fi but,” he paused and bit his lip. “Are you sure you ‘gotta do’ all this? I mean this seems totally nuts, like you’re talking about Armageddon or something.” He shook his head, and then he looked up to meet her burning eyes. Uh oh, he thought. That was a look he was familiar with…it was the ‘don’t make me kick your butt’ look. “Um, I mean, not nuts but, ok…it’s just…a lot.”
“It’s ok,” she sighed as she brought her chair beside his and turned it around to straddle it. “It’s more than a lot, and it is definitely more than nuts,” she admitted. Her face twisted into a wry smile and she ran her hand through her hair, the curls tugging at her fingers. “I’ve asked myself the same question almost every day. I mean, really? I keep thinking that…just ‘Really?!?’ I mean, here I am fourteen years old and I’m teaching myself to shoot, to hunt, and to fight just because my sick father made me promise to do it. Because he thinks it may be needed.”
She shook her head. “It’s killing me physically and mentally, and it sucks lying to my mother and Kiara. It’s such a relief to have someone to tell, you don’t even know.” The words tumbled out of her now after being bottled up for so long and he felt his chest tighten. She’d been dealing with so much, he thought, and he’d been such a jerk to her last night. He felt awful.
“So what keeps you going then?” he murmured. “Why keep doing it all?”
Her eyes widened in wonder and surprise. “Because Sean, what if he’s right?”
One Hand, One Head
----------- Fi -----------
It was such a relief to have Sean in on her secret now, Fi thought as they headed out together on the bus to Sensei’s. On the way there, Fi told Sean as much as she could about working with Sensei Bob and his training. She laughed as she told him that he was going to have to establish his “baseline” fitness markers and teased him that he likely wasn’t as fast as she.
“I’m like…Sooopah-fly!” she said, with a swoop of her hand. He laughed.
“Alrighty 007,” he joked, turning red. “I will not be surprised if you’re better at this stuff than me, but you’ve also been at it longer.”
“True,” she acknowledged. “You know Sean, the interesting thing is that there are going to be some things about it that you will be good at naturally that will surprise you. Whether it’s your speed, your strength, your precision, or your strategy. There is a lot to learn, but there is a lot to be good at too.”
Fi felt she was being honest, but she also was being kind. Of course Sean was intimidated. Though he was a devoted Yankees fan like his father John, he had never actually played any sports. Sean was more of a video game guy and computer hacker than a jock. Yes, Fi thought, Sean had a lot of wonderful qualities. He was very charismatic in his own way, great with a funny joke or story. His little sisters were in stiches half the time with his stories. But Sean as a fighter? Fi had her doubts.
She patted his arm. “Sensei Bob will figure out your strengths and help you to maximize them, don’t worry.” She leveled her gaze at him and added, “But you better be prepared to work, because he doesn’t mess around.”
Sean nodded, his face serious. “Well, if you can take him punching and kicking you, then I certainly can,” he said, a touch of bravado in his voice. Ah, Fi thought, that is encouraging. She stared out the window as the bus trundled along the wet road. If he is willing to pretend to be tough, to be a fighter, then maybe he can be, she thought. The idea gave her hope.
Within two weeks, Sean’s bravado had taken a few hits.
“Jeez Fi, I give!” He grunted, pushing her foot off his neck. She jumped back lightly. Maybe the foot on his neck was a little much, she thought with a guilty smile.
“C’mon Fi,” Bob chided her, “don’t beat up on the guy literally,” he rolled his eyes. Fi grinned even wider as Sean picked himself up off the mat. He sighed as Sensei Bob barked, “Again!” and they both broke into fighting stance.
Fi almost felt more comfortable nowadays in the low, wide fighting stance than she did standing up. Her thighs welcomed the work and her fists held up protectively in front of her made her feel safe. As she eyed Sean, she had to admit that although he had not turned out to be a talented fighter athletically, he was determined, protective, and most of all, smart. Despite her prowess and speed, he had gotten her a few times with quick thinking rather than quick fists and feet. Sensei had made it a point more than once to congratulate Sean’s patience, his emphasis on good defense. That annoyed Fi. She hated losing.
Her arms flew out as she blocked Sean’s errant punch and spun away from the follow up. Sean’s foot swung wildly toward her and she ducked and then immediately turned and swept his standing leg.
“Ooof!” he groaned as he hit the floor. Unfortunately, she thought while standing over him and panting, his lack of athleticism was a serious drawback. Once again she wished that they had more time. Despite the uncertainty of the moment that they would have to leave, global events left no doubt that it was coming soon. Fi thought about the breaking news story today, a rumor that Japan was going to stop providing food to those over seventy. There was outrage and disbelief, but Fi knew it could be true.
As they got ready to start the fight again, Fi bowed and said a small prayer. Hopefully, she thought half in anxiety and half in irony, Sean would become a better shot. She was looking forward to tomorrow’s practice sessions with the weapons. Of course, she was dreading the afternoon, when they would be practicing gathering.
“That’s it, we’re done today!” Sensei commanded and they both nodded and bowed to each other and then turned to bow to Sensei. Sean flopped onto the floor with his arms and legs spread, his belly heaving.
“Phew!” he gasped. Fi pulled off her sparring headgear, freeing her hair. Breathless, she toweled her face and untied her dobok and sighed as cool air hit her sweaty tank top. She offered Sean a hand to help him up.
“Good job today!” she said generously. With chagrin, he blushed and pulled the protective gear off his head.
“Yeah right,” he rolled his eyes. She shook her head.
“No, I mean it, you’re getting better every day.” It was true, she thought, he was getting better every day and better was better
. They would take what they could get.
The next day, Fi found herself crouching over the roots of a tree, examining the small flowers blooming on the little stalks growing there. Her fingers flipped through the field guide in her hands and she squinted at the pictures. They all look the freaking same, she thought, irritated.
“Aaarrrgh!” Fi cried in frustration. “Why do I suck so badly at this?”
Sean laughed. “You do not suck,” he reassured her and then smirked. “You just aren’t as good as me,” he laughed and poked her in the side.
“Shut up!” she laughed and swatted him with the battered field guide. “I mean the pictures don’t even look a little bit alike and what kind of description is ‘small white clusters of flowers’? That applies to everything growing in the forest!” Her complaints were ended by a sudden yawn. Man, she thought, I am not just grumpy. I’m tired.
“Well,” Sean said. “Come on, you couldn’t be better than me at everything,” he pled. “What would I bring to the team?”
He actually had a point, Fi thought. Maybe her competitiveness was getting in the way of what was truly important. If Sean was an excellent gatherer and she was not, then she was lucky to have him. Reflecting, she realized that she was going to have to be open to letting other people contribute. She sighed.
“It’s just that biology is my thing,” she explained. “I mean, I thought this would be right in my wheelhouse and it turns out…” she threw up her hands in disgust. Getting up from her crouch, Fi took a seat on a nearby log. Sean sat next to her and gently shoved her sideways with his shoulder. He finished her thought.
“It turns out that there is something that isn’t?” he laughed. “C’mon Fi, this may be ‘biology stuff’ but it’s also super slow and patient work. You have to go a long way, you often come back with nothing, and you have to examine everything over and over. And then you just get to bring back a handful of bitter, odd stuff.” Sean chuckled, “That kind of thing is really more my style than yours, given your attention span.” She laughed.
“Yes, you’re right about that.” She put her head in her hands. “I’d do it if I had to in order to live, but man I truly detest this gathering stuff,” she admitted.
Sean nodded. “But you’re a better fighter, better shot, and better hunter.” It was true, she knew. Sean was a decent shot with the Glock, but not a great one. He just wasn’t quick enough. It was the same way with the bow, Fi thought, wincing at memories of missed targets. At least now he was hitting a target pretty well from thirty yards. With more time maybe he could get better. But Fi thought his shortcomings really came ultimately from his gentle spirit. He just couldn’t reconcile the thought of killing things. Even fishing bothered him, Fi recalled. She’d always had to bait his hooks and free the fish when they went with his father.
“Yeah,” she agreed with him. “I’m really good at all the cruel stuff,” her voice was quiet and she dropped her eyes. Sean patted her leg and his hand reached for hers and squeezed it.
“Thank God someone is,” he whispered softly and her head snapped up, startled. His gaze was suddenly intense, and he leaned toward her. Oh gosh, Fi thought and she jumped up, pretending not to notice that Sean had drawn closer.
“So it’s decided then.” She forced a tone of merriment. Although she was avoiding his gaze, she peeked at him from under her lashes. His face looked quizzical and a little…hurt? It was hard to read. To lighten the mood, Fi pointed toward Sean and grunted in her best caveman voice, “You gather!” She pointed to herself. “Me hunt!” Sean’s face screwed up and he burst out laughing, Fi joining him. Thank goodness, she thought. Whatever that was before had passed. “Grab your stuff,” she urged, “let’s get back.”
Together they made their way through the forest and emerged into an open field. Fi stopped, peering at their surroundings. Wind whistled over the large field, still half-covered in melting snow. Forest lined the edges, the grey spidery branches showing the first tips of green as spring began its tiptoeing arrival. Even with her sunglasses on, Fi found herself squinting at the glare of the hazy sunlight on the snow.
“That’s weird,” she murmured. Sean had taken a few more steps into the field before he’d noticed that Fi had come to a stop. He turned back to her, mystified.
“What’s wrong?” he asked. She shook her head.
“I don’t know,” her voice was hesitant. “It just feels like something is wrong here.” She pointed. “You see there where all the snow has melted?”
Sean nodded. “Yeah, so?”
“Well, isn’t it weird the way that there is no grass there?” She said, nodding to herself. Yes, she though, it was weird. “There is no dead grass leftover beneath the snow and there is no new growth at all, unlike in the forest.” She pointed at the leaf buds on the trees behind them. Fi walked out into the clearing. “There’s not even any dry, dead grass sticking up above the snow.”
Sean’s feet crunched as he shifted his weight. “That is weird,” he said. “Now that you point it all out.” Fi shook her head and sighed.
“This isn’t good Sean.” She knew that if they left for Eden now they could still face dangerous late season snowfalls. But if there was one thing she’d realized from what she saw in that field, it was that the grasses were not returning with the spring. Whether she was afraid to get going or not, she realized they would have to very soon. “It means it’s almost time.”
Surrounded
Announcement
----------- Sean -----------
“I would like to reiterate,” President Winter said, smiling firmly from the television, “that there is no need to panic. We will be handling these food shortages and we will weather this storm,” she continued. “Right now I will hand over the podium to Secretary of Defense Jim Holland who will brief you on the steps that we will be taking to ensure the safety and sustenance of all Americans,” her voice caught slightly. She coughed and moved aside as the other man stepped up.
Sean watched the screen transfixed, his breath quickening. The man wore a dour black suit and grey tie and an even more dour expression. He stepped up without any papers and grasped the podium. “Thank you President Winter,” he said giving a deferential nod and coughing. “Due to the severity of the food crisis, all branches of the military will begin coordinating in a nationwide operation we have dubbed ‘The Staff of Life’.”
The chair slammed to the ground as Sean leapt up. Taking the stairs two at a time, he ran to his room to grab his things. “Gotta go Mom!” he yelled as he ran out the door. Stumbling, Sean tore across the backyard.
On the television the man droned on, his tone flat. “Soldiers will be spreading out across the country to provide coordinated food rationing locations and distribution centers. In large city centers the rations will be brought in. It’s absolutely essential that everyone remain calm. This is just a temporary situation…”
----------- Fi -----------
Fi jumped as a door slammed downstairs.
“It’s time Fi, it’s time!” Sean yelled as he came running up the stairs. “They’re coming right now!” He burst through her bedroom door and came to a screeching halt, frozen in place.
“What the hell?” Fi yelled, startled. “Sean! Get out!” She stamped her foot. She was wrapped in a towel and was standing with a comb in her hand, her hair wet from the shower.
“Whoops!” he whirled around. “Sorry. Sorry. Ummm, we gotta go Fi,” he bounced on his toes with anticipation. She noted that he was carrying his pack and wearing his gear: cargoes, hiking boots, dri-fit T-shirt and vest. Her heart fluttered and she felt her breath quicken. Sean was ready. It was time.
“Don’t turn around Sean,” she warned. “Or I swear, I will kick your ass.” She grabbed the clothes she’d chosen for this day…for the day of their escape. As she yanked on a copy of Sean’s cargo pants and black long sleeve dri-fit T-shirt, she felt like a soldier for the first time. She stared at herself in the mirror and saw that she was stronger now
, so much stronger. She’d grown actual muscles, their soft lines gently bulging through the dri-fit in places. Her hair was braided back for efficiency and her clothes made her look tough, unisex, and ready.
“Ok turn around,” she said. Sean turned.
“We gotta round up the family Fi,” he said, his fingers twitching. “It’s time. It’s all over town. The government has sent soldiers out to provide us all with ‘food relief’,” he emphasized the last part. “It’s happening just like you said. The soldiers are already on their way and will be gathering people starting tomorrow morning. They could roll into town tonight!” His voice rose to a squeak and she realized that the adrenalin had to be coursing through him as well.
“Sean, take a deep breath. We have to be calm,” she urged. He nodded and gulped in air, blowing it out slowly. “Do you have the materials for yourself and your family ready to go?”
“Yes ma’am,” he replied. He’d taken to calling her ‘boss’ or ‘ma’am’ whenever she took charge. It was part joke and part reality. She clearly was the boss.
“Good,” she responded as she threw on her vest and grabbed her pack. “Let’s go get them all. Meet me in your kitchen in thirty.” She opened her door and threw him a last glance, “And Sean remember, NO ONE can know but the Family, so whatever you do to get them here, make it quick and quiet.”
“Understood.” He nodded. They left her house and split up.
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