“Yeah it seems like a fit, this house,” she said. “That stream we found is in walking distance, the house can be well-protected, and we will be warm.” Fi clicked off the flashlight and dropped onto the couch where a cloud of dust exploded around her. Sean laughed at her and Fi laughed and gasped at the same time. “C’mere Sean,” she teased, patting the space next to her as he’d done to her so many times. “Come have a wonderful seat,” she laughed, choking.
“Alrighty,” Sean said and then took a leap while Fi yelled, “No Sean!” He hit the couch next to her like a ton of bricks, raising a mushroom cloud of dust that made them both hack and cough. Fi’s eyes and nose began to stream as she struggled to clear the dust.
“Uggh,” Fi sniffed. She pulled out her canteen to wash her face and clear her throat. “Well, this place will definitely need some serious and ongoing sweeping. But otherwise I think we are in good shape here.”
“I agree,” Sean said, choking as well. Served him right, Fi thought affectionately as she swigged more water from her canteen. “I think we found it,” his voice sounded warm, like he was smiling as well. It was much darker inside the house than outside in the moonlight so Fi couldn’t see his actual expression. His hand patted her leg in the dark. “This is it,” he said in a gentle voice. “Our winter Home.”
Both of them were very worried about stopping their progress north, but there was really little other choice with cold weather on its way. Already the leaves had not only changed, but were falling from the trees, littering the forest floor. Another reason not to stay on the road, Fi realized. Without foliage, the forest did not offer much cover anymore. As she glanced around the room, Fi could picture it, Rachel and Maggie settled comfortably in the beds upstairs, or sitting by the fire. Lucy and Aliyah cooking and sweeping. Fi chuckled; there would be a lot of sweeping until it snowed. She could see Lucy in the kitchen with the kids.
Fi sighed and patted Sean’s hand in return. They were Home, she thought. The idea felt restful.
“You know what this means,” Sean spoke up from the darkness and squeezed her thigh. Oh God, Fi thought, her heart starting to pound. He wasn’t going to try to put the moves on her here in the darkness on the couch was he, she wondered? Praying in silence, she hoped that she was wrong.
“It means you have to start taking me on raids.” He bounced, child-like, on the couch next to her, sending up more clouds of dust. She laughed, relieved, and waved at the air.
“Jeez Sean,” she laughed. “Don’t choke me to death!”
He laughed with her and said, “Well?” A red glow lit the room as Fi turned on her flashlight and held it beneath her chin.
“Yes Sean,” she said in her best attempt at an evil, frightening ghost voice. “You will begin joining me on raids!” She finished with what she thought was an eerie laugh. Sean guffawed.
“You sound like a Sesame Street character,” he criticized. Fi kept the light on, pleased that the house felt so safe.
“Sean, seriously,” she began. “I probably shouldn’t joke. It’s really no joke going on the raids,” she said in a somber voice. “I know you’ve been training hard with me and you’ve gotten really good with your weapon. And I recognize that you are more strategic than I am,” she offered. Sean tilted his head, listening. Fi took a deep breath, searching for the words, “But we can be killed out there.” There was no other way to put it, she realized. It was the truth. Sean took a deep breath.
“I’m ready,” he said, his voice firm, and Fi believed him. At first Sean had accepted that she had to go alone because she needed him to guard the Family. But once the Family had grown and there were others who could hold and fire a weapon, Sean had pushed to join her.
“C’mon Fi,” he’d whined, “there are more mouths to feed anyway, so it would help if we could gather two packs worth of stuff.” He had a point there, she’d realized. There were consequences to accepting more Family Members. She had made him work hard at his fight training with her. Though she wished she knew more fighting techniques, she was still better than Sean, particularly since she’d been tested in real life. In their training sessions she was tough.
“Effort, commitment, focus,” she would bark. “You can’t come out there and cover me without them.”
At first she had really tried to get Sean to drop his wish to join her by pushing him so hard, but he simply accepted the challenge, letting her know he was serious. When they settled into this farmhouse for the winter, she thought, he can start coming with me. Chuckling, she remembered their last sparring session that morning…how she knew when he’d swept her legs that he was ready. From flat on her back, she’d held out her hand for him to help her back up.
“Good,” she complimented him, sucking in deep draughts of air as he pulled her to her feet. It was important that she encourage him, she realized. “Very good.” It was the third time he’d bested her in the past two weeks. “You’re definitely ready.” His smile was so wide it almost broke her heart. He had really earned it, she thought, wincing at the small shiner she’d given his left eye. Fi turned her flashlight on Sean’s face. With the red light, it didn’t even make a person squint.
“Sorry about that,” she reached for his black eye with slender fingers. He pulled away.
“S’alright,” he said with pride. “Can’t let a little thing like that stop you right?” Clicking off the flashlight, Fi agreed.
“Yeah, you might take a hit and still have to focus and keep your wits for the fight. Like you did against the big guy,” she reminded him of his one fight to date. At least he’d won it, she thought, smiling. Still, nothing could really prepare you for going on a raid, she knew. Fi stood, brushed her clothes with her hands, and turned to walk back toward the door. “Well, this is definitely it. This is our shelter for the winter.” She stopped and turned back to Sean. “First raid in two days,” she smirked. “Get ready big boy.” She walked out the door, amused at the conflicting emotions on Sean’s face. Now it was dawning on him.
The next day, the steps of the farmhouse creaked as the feet of the Family mounted them and made their way onto the dusty porch. They trooped through the front door as Fi held it open.
“Welcome Home,” she greeted as they passed. Several of them smiled and said ‘Thank you’ or gave her a little squeeze or hug. Funneling in, they left their packs on the porch and squeezed into the family room. Fi turned on her flashlight once they were inside with the door shut. The windows in this room were all shuttered. In the soft red glow of the flashlight, the Family sat and stood all around her gathered on the dusty couch, on the floor, and leaning up against the walls. It had been a long hike tonight and Fi estimated that they were only an hour or so away from dawn. They’d made it in perfect time.
“So Family,” she said. “This is the Home that Sean and I found for us to shelter in over the winter that is coming. Would anyone like the grand tour?” she joked and several people laughed. “Well,” she said in her best advertising voice, “here you can see we have a quaint living room with couch and,” she swung the flashlight around, “a fireplace.”
“That is definitely going to be necessary,” John nodded. They all knew New York winters well. The upstate area sometimes got the heaviest snowfall in the country. The days would be icy once the mantle of winter descended. Fi nodded and swung her light through the adjoining doorway to the room beyond.
“And if you’ll come with me please,” she said, walking backward like a tour guide. “Here we have a very nice dining room with table and chairs and a sizable mirror,” she emphasized and she heard Lucy and Aliyah gasp. She knew that would get them, she thought. No one had really been able to look in a mirror in weeks or months. Those first weeks they’d had glimpses, but they had been in the woods for a long time now. These little aspects of Home were now foreign. Fi continued her backward walk through the second door of the dining room into the kitchen.
“The kitchen,” she began, moving her flashlight around, “is a bit small.” L
ucy laughed at her ‘realtor’ act.
“That’s an understatement,” she said. “You should use a word like ‘quaint’ or ‘charming’.”
“Exactly, the kitchen is charming, with all the original and completely dead appliances still in place,” Fi joked, swinging her light across them. “And the cabinets come just as they are at the factory,” she opened several doors. “Completely empty!” Everyone laughed a little at that. “Well, actually we do have cups and silverware and cookware, all of which is nice. We also have another table and chairs for meetings or studying.” Fi emphasized and Kiara groaned.
They had recently started making the children spend some time studying each day, even though there wasn’t a really specific curriculum. It was mostly based on whatever books or resources Fi could get on raids. Right now Kiara was stuck with division, including long division. She was not thrilled. Fi continued her tour of the upper and lower floors.
“So that’s it folks,” she said when they trooped back upstairs into the kitchen from the cellar. “How do you like it?” Maggie spoke first.
“Oh Fi, Sean,” she breathed. “This is wonderful.” Aliyah agreed.
“This is the closest thing to a real home that I could imagine for us all,” she said.
“I know it will be tight and that in the winter it will get tough. Without heat we’ll need to keep the fire going,” Fi said, her mind already racing to the troubles ahead, as usual. Aliyah touched her arm, bringing her back.
“We will cross that bridge when we come to it,” she said. “For now let’s get some rest.” Fi nodded and suppressed a yawn. She was exhausted too, but they were still going to need sentries. John approached her.
“I assume that you were planning to take sentry duty first,” he began gruffly, and he interrupted as Fi began to speak. “You always take too much on yourself,” he chided her. “You can’t be our Leader if you drive yourself into the ground.” His tone was kind, but firm. Fi’s expression remained stubborn. “I’m not that tired right now,” John continued. “It must be the excitement of finding our shelter. So I would like first shift.” He reorganized his statement. “I request that you allow me to take first shift.”
“You’re right John,” Fi agreed with another yawn. The weariness of the summer was settling into her bones now that they’d found a safe shelter. “I can’t do a good job if I’m too tired to think. I will take the rest, thank you,” she hugged him. Fi walked onto the porch where Sean was also getting his pack to bring inside.
“Uncle John is taking first shift.” She couldn’t see Sean’s expression, but assumed it was one of surprise. “He offered,” she explained and turned to go back inside, yawning again.
Yes, she was ready for rest. In the daytime there would be plenty to do. The house needed swept and dusted, the fireplace needed cleaned out, the couch needed…Fi thought about it. Well, it probably needed to be dragged outside and beaten to be honest. And the linens needed to be washed so that the beds could be used.
And lastly, she thought. Lastly, the next raid would need to be planned. It was time to start filling those cabinets for the winter, she thought as she stretched out and rolled onto her side in her bag.
Educating Sean
----------- Fi -----------
“Are you excited yet Sean?” Fi asked as they walked along and he nodded. They were still hours from the town she wanted to raid. This was the first time that Sean, or anyone else for that matter, would be joining her on a raid. She was excited but she was also extremely nervous. It would be different, she thought, worrying less for herself and more for someone else. She focused on getting Sean ready to distract herself from her nerves.
“Let’s go over the basics,” she said, “And please don’t be offended.” They strode forward, hopping roots and stones in the cool morning air. It was an absolutely perfect, beautiful day in late fall. Leaves exploded into deep kaleidoscopic colors against the crisp blue sky. Dry, cloudy puffs rushed out of their nostrils and mouths. The temperature was warming now that the sun had risen, but Fi’s toes were still numb. Annoyed, she squeezed them as she walked. Numb extremities were her main issue with winter. Movement was the best way to stay warm, so she set a quick pace.
“The absolute gold find, as you know,” she began, “is canned or preserved foods. At first in the Ghost Towns, you could find big stockpiles of canned food. But that’s getting less and less common now. Many of those towns seem to have been found by Others and cleared out. You can sometimes find good stockpiles in homes, but it’s riskier to go into homes and you have to go into so many to get what you need. Stores are definitely better.”
Sean nodded. He remembered vividly what they had learned about going into homes. The underbrush grabbed at their feet as they the skirted a bare open field, dust rising ominously when the cool breezes blew. With all fields transformed into Dead Zones, Fi knew that the added hand of winter would leave little alive. She wondered what the spring growing season would bring. She continued.
“The next most important thing after food is ammo. You need sporting goods stores, outdoors stores, or superstores to find ammo. It can be very difficult to find, so that is why we ration ours.” He nodded. “If you do find ammo for any of our guns though, take ALL of it.” Her command was firm. “After ammo, you have drugs. Pharmacies are everywhere, but they’ve been hit pretty hard. Fortunately we keep our emphasis on things like first aid supplies, antibiotics, and analgesics. If we were looking for Oxycontin,” she smirked. “We’d be S.O.L.”
She laughed at Sean’s confused expression. “I swear, people took those before the food,” she explained. “If you do find any narcotics, go ahead and take them. They’re good to have around in case someone gets seriously hurt.” Or is dying and in pain, she thought to herself, shoving the thoughts of Maggie from her mind. “You also won’t find any alcohol in the stores. It’s pretty much all gone now, in some cases even rubbing alcohol, which is kind of sad.” For a moment, she was quiet. Whenever she thought about the millions who’d wanted to dull the pain, it made her sick.
“Well, it’s not like there are many of us who are of age anyway,” Sean joked, bringing her back, and she chuckled. Yes, it was ironic, but they were too young to have use for alcohol. Hell, she wasn’t old enough to drive, or vote, or do just about anything adults were allowed to do. She smiled and her voice changed a bit as she went on.
“Well, the sorta cool thing,” she said, “is that you can find almost anything else you’d ever want like clothes, sports stuff, camping stuff, toys, games, books, cards, art supplies…anything else. It’s kind of like going shopping sometimes.”
“Except for the being on guard for your life part,” Sean teased. Fi laughed and punched him in the arm.
“Exactly!”
They keep up a good pace as they swept over the rolling hills. By this time they were both fleet of foot in the woods. Along the way they found a running stream where they refilled their bottles. Fi shivered as she drank the icy cold water. They sat for a minute to gnaw on some venison jerky and Fi shared more. It was time to give Sean the real information, she thought. He has absolutely no idea what ‘all business all the time’ really means. Even though it was a little childish, she still resented that comment, even if it was true. With a wad of jerky tucked in her cheek, she began.
“You know, you do have to be really careful out there. Even though we will always be together in theory, I want you to know the things I’ve learned so that you don’t have to learn them the way that I did.”
Sean raised his eyebrows. Fi felt a little annoyed and then reminded herself that she had never really talked about the danger. She had always let Sean assume that she was just great at what she did, slipping in and out without having to fight. If he had paid closer attention, he may have noticed an occasional bruise on her arms or legs, or seen a slight limp due to a sore ankle. But Fi was so good at covering her own pain, her own needs, that he could hardly be blamed for thinking her invincible. It wa
s her goal that he should think that, she reminded herself.
“For example,” she continued, “if you find a store that is ninety percent or more empty, then you turn around and run. At best, it’s a waste of your time. At worst, it’s a trap.” Sean sucked in and covered his mouth, not that Fi was surprised. She knew this would shock him. She stood and stretched and Sean followed her lead. It was time to get going again.
“The worst sign,” Fi added as they broke into a trot, “is when you see nothing in the store except some canned food. Way out in the open too.” She was quiet for a moment and Sean spoke to break into her thoughts.
“So note to self, leave the super-empty stores right away?” he said and she nodded. For a while were silent as they jogged. It was growing warmer now that the sun was overhead. Fi’s stomach growled and she ignored it. There would be time for food later. By now she’d learned that you might have to go farther than you thought to get what you needed. It was always better to ration your food on the way out rather than the way back…just in case.
----------- Sean -----------
Sean figured that it was getting close to lunchtime. He reflected on the things Fi had told them. Obviously, Fi had been caught on her raids before. At the very least she had been chased, and he now felt certain she’d had to fight at some point. She may have even had to shoot someone.
As he tried to picture it, he realized that he couldn’t, that he couldn’t imagine her that way. He saw that she was tough, that she could fight, that she could hunt, that she could shoot. But he’d never actually seen her in action, defending herself and the Family. He guessed that he was about to see it for the first time, and he wasn’t sure if he was ready.
Fi spoke up. “We are getting close to the point where we have to start being silent, so I want to share one more aspect of raids.” Sean nodded, interested.
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