“I love geeky vocab!” she protested. Asher grabbed for her finger and reached to poke her back and her stomach flipped over. Feeling a sudden urge to show off Fi pulled away, her face coy. “Hubris is the perfect word anyway. I think you should always use the perfect word, when you can.” She gazed up at Asher from beneath her long dark eyelashes and his face twisted for a moment. Her heart skipped as he cleared his throat.
“Vocab geekiness, ok,” he said with a thumbs up. “Duly noted and appreciated.” Suddenly Sean stirred and they both looked over at him, the spell broken.
“Time to try to get some rest,” Fi said as she handed back the journal with a wistful glance.
“Ay, ay Cap’n” he joked and he moved to lie down on his sleeping bag as Fi did the same. As she laid in the darkness, she knew that it would not be easy to sleep. All she wanted to do was stay up all night and all day talking with Asher. Everything he said was so intelligent, so passionate. She loved his stories.
And his beautiful face, her mind chimed in, startling her. Enough of that, she thought, suppressing the indulgence. There is a lot of business to handle. Silly, unreturned crushes were for the Fi she had been in the old world.
In the morning the group rose and broke camp, heading northward. They would be home in just a couple of hours.
The Heroes Return
Homecoming
----------- Fi -----------
They arrived at the borders of their winter Home the following afternoon. Fi was anxious to avoid frightening the Family sentries, so she walked in the lead.
“Hello?” she called out as they walked up the gravel road. Sarge stepped out from behind the giant oak tree at the entrance to the property and wrapped her in a big bear hug, still clutching his rifle.
“Hello Fi darlin’!” he laughed. “Sean!” Grinning, he moved to hug Sean as well. “I’m so glad to see you both intact, though you look a little worse for the wear,” he said as he stepped back and held Sean at arms’ length.
“It’s ok Sarge,” Fi reassured him. “We’re ok.” She paused. “And we’re alive thanks to Asher.” Sarge examined the third member of the group and nodded, holding out his hand to shake.
“If you saved these two, then I’m most pleased of all to meet you,” he said with a smile. Asher nodded and held out his hand and Fi’s mouth twitched. It almost seemed to Fi like Asher was nervous. Sarge grabbed his hand and shook it with enthusiasm.
“Thank you!” he said. “Thank you for bringing them back to us.” Asher coughed uncomfortably and withdrew his hand.
“Well, Fi is giving me too much credit,” he objected. Sarge roared with sudden laughter.
“Of course she is,” he smiled. “Why would she be any different than she is?” Sarge grabbed both of her hands and nodded toward Asher. “Consideration, right?” he asked and she nodded, and she bit her lip to stop herself from smiling. Sarge caught the fleeting gesture and grinned. “I assume one vote is a given?” he whispered with a wink, and Fi squirmed. Sarge laughed as her neck and cheeks flushed.
“Alright, Asher,” Sarge said, turning toward him. “We have a process here that we normally follow, but since it was already broken for Jose and Mayra, I assume that our Leader will be ok with your not being blindfolded the rest of the way.” He said this to Asher, but looked at Fi from the corner of his eye, seeking her approval. She nodded.
At this, Asher seemed taken aback and Fi suppressed a smile. Though Asher had known that Fi was the Leader and that she had Sean’s obedience, this was different. This was an older man, presumably military, who was deferring to her. The look on his face was clear. Asher was impressed.
“Thanks for the special treatment,” he joked, raising his hands. “I come in peace.” Sarge grunted.
“I was blindfolded when she brought me in,” he said gruffly and it was Asher’s turn to gasp. “And speaking of peace…”
His voice trailed off as his gaze moved to the sword strapped to Asher’s back. Fi followed his eyes and nodded her agreement, turning to face Asher. Her tone grew serious.
“Asher, if you want to come to our Home, then you have to let us take your sword.” Asher considered Fi’s proposal, his gaze steady. Fi stood with her arms crossed and her face firm. There was no softness in her eyes now. She was the Leader. At least, that is what she knew she looked like on the outside. On the inside, her heart was racing as she waited for his decision. With a deferential bow he removed the sword and handed it to Sarge with some regret. She exhaled.
“Take good care of it,” he said and Sarge nodded. The three left Sarge at his sentry post and continued up the long path to the house. When they were a hundred yards away Jose gave a shout and came running down the hill with Mayra trailing close behind him.
“Fi!” he yelled as he sprinted. He flew toward them, smiling, until he saw Asher and then he froze and Mayra almost crashed into the back of him. Fi waved at them and in two more bounds Jose was there, throwing his arms around her and kissing both cheeks. She winced as she felt her rib complain, but Jose had already released her as he turned to Sean.
“Sean!” he cried, reaching out to touch Sean’s face. “What happened, Sean?” his gaze flitted between Sean’s face and Asher’s still form standing behind them. Fi winced again, this time at the knowledge that some of what happened to Sean’s face was Asher’s fault. Sean shook his head in silence.
“It’s so good to see you two!” Fi proclaimed to Jose. Breathing free and smiling, she realized it was true. They were Home. Jose laughed.
“I’d ask what you brought back from the raid, but I can see that it will be a long story.”
“That it will,” she agreed as her gaze moved to Asher. He gave a little grin and her stomach fluttered. Disarmed by the sensation, a happy smile broke across her bruised face like a wave. “We certainly got more than we bargained for,” she laughed. She turned back toward the house before she could see both boys flush. Fi took a few quick strides forward so that she stood between the group and the house and she whirled, her face beaming.
“C’mon, you guys,” she said pulling her hair free and sending the curls flying in the spring breeze. “Let’s go Home.”
Unfortunately, once they reached the house, they had to deposit Asher in the cellar as they had done for everyone else. This rule had not yet been changed. He acquiesced to this requirement.
“If I’m going to be part of the Family,” he said, “I realize that I have to follow your rules.” Fi felt bad leaving him there, but she believed fervently that he would be part of the Family the following day.
“It won’t be long,” she insisted as she left him with a few books to keep him busy. She knew several of the Family Members would visit him to start getting to know him. For now, she and Sean had to focus on distributing the spoils of their successful raid. They stood in the farmhouse living room with their packs on the couch.
“First things first,” Fi said to Sean. “Let’s put together what we have for Doc.” They went through and checked all the meds that were for Rachel. Fi gathered up the bottles in her shirt, pleased with what they had found. Cradling her stash, Fi joined Doc Ron in the kitchen where he was conducting an inventory on the huge Ziploc bags filled with bottles that served as the Family ‘pharmacy’. She deposited the contents of her shirttail onto the table, and the bottles spun and rolled away in every direction.
“Oh gosh,” she grabbed for them as they headed for the edges of the table. “Sorry about that Doc,” she apologized as they retrieved several from the floor. Settling into the chair beside Doc, Fi watched him, her knees jiggling up and down with nerves. He murmured to himself while he read the labels.
“Fi, this is really good,” he nodded and she exhaled. “Yes, this is almost eight weeks worth of medicines for her,” he murmured. “We have plenty if,” he started and then paused.
“If we decide she needs it,” Fi finished and he nodded. At that, she sat back in her chair and took a deep breath. The feeling of relief overwhel
med her. A noise behind her made her turn and she saw that Sean had followed her into the kitchen. His face was red, but his expression was happy. Tears welled in her eyes when he met her gaze and she got up and embraced him. She felt her tears of relief and exhaustion well over as they held each other tightly. They had risked their lives to save his sister, and maybe, she thought, just maybe, they had done it. Please God, she thought, let it be so. She pulled away and laughed at Sean’s battered tear-streaked face.
“God, Sean,” she sniffed. “It almost killed us, but we did it.” He laughed too, a tired sound, as he wiped away his own tears. “We did it,” Fi repeated, suddenly exhausted with the knowledge that the mission was truly complete.
“Yes Fi,” he sighed wearily and smiled. “We did it.” He patted her shoulder and plopped down in the chair to talk to Doc. Fi trudged back into the Family room. She was ready for a nap.
“Fi come here,” Maggie chuckled as she walked through the door into the kitchen. “You’re all buttoned up like Uncle Ross,” she reached for Fi’s shirt. Fi smiled, this was one of her favorite Maggie-isms. Maggie liked to include non-existent relatives in their lives. She would do things like include an extra place setting for ‘Uncle Rufus’ at dinner. It was silly, but Fi no longer found it embarrassing. Now, she found it endearing.
“Oh Mama,” she pretended to roll her eyes while Maggie re-buttoned her and then gave her a big hug. Fi leaned back from her embrace. “You’re such a sneak-attack hugger,” she laughed and then brightened.
“Oh, I have something for you Mama,” she said as she released Maggie and retrieved her pack. “It’s a special surprise,” she sang as she came back. Maggie gasped when Fi pulled the fur vest out of her pack, softly unrolling it to its full length. The long, soft white fur was tipped in grey and black. It was tunic length and would cover Maggie almost to her knees, keeping her warm at night. “For you Mama,” she smoothed it with her hands and raised an eyebrow. “Dolce and Gabbana.”
“Fi,” Maggie breathed, reaching out to touch the soft fur, her slender fingers stroking it. “What? How?” she stammered, protesting as Fi helped her to pull the soft vest over her shoulders. “I can’t Fi! It’s too much!” Fi ignored her protests and then grasped Maggie’s hand and walked her over to the mirror in the dining room.
When Maggie saw her reflection in the mirror she gasped, and Fi’s heart sank. In her excitement, she’d forgotten that her mother did not look at herself very often these days. Despite already being painfully thin, her skin had gotten thinner somehow, like she’d aged thirty years in this past one. She was so malnourished, that her normally thick beautiful hair had thinned and her deep blue eyes were sunken. Quickly, Fi came around behind her and brought the vest together, hugging Maggie and smiling at her in the mirror. They both stroked it, and Maggie turned back to Fi.
“It’s beautiful, Fi,” Maggie smiled and Fi patted her back. Tears came to Fi’s eyes as she felt her mother’s thin shoulders. Maggie turned around and put her forehead to Fi’s, her eyes shining. Fi felt a tear break its bounds at the edge of her eyelashes and streak down her face. “You’re a really good girl, Fi,” Maggie smiled, her own tears welling over. Wiping them away, she held Fi’s hand and they walked back into the living room where the others were organizing the supplies. Aliyah took one look and let out a low wolf whistle, and Maggie laughed and blushed.
“Mag-gie!” You look fabulous dahling,” Aliyah said, her hand held out to the side like a diva. Fi joined Maggie’s laughter as the others turned and whistled and cheered as well. At their urging, Maggie twirled in a circle and sashayed a few steps, flipping her dark hair. Appreciative whistles accompanied her personal runway show until she finally plopped down on the couch, weary. She lay back and closed her eyes, her fingers still stroking the vest. “It’s wonderful Fi.” Maggie’s voice was a purr. “Where on earth did you get it?” Taken off guard by the question, Fi felt a giggle bubble out of her. Maggie looked surprised, a confused half-smile creeping over her face.
“What?” she asked and Fi felt the giggles growing and taking over her. She covered her mouth, but they kept coming. “C’mon now Fi, what is it?” her mother demanded. Fi burst out into a true laugh.
“I got it,” she laughed, “at Bloomingdales!” Fi doubled over, moving her hand from in front of her mouth to hover above her heaving belly. Maggie’s mouth flew open in surprise, and then she erupted into gales of light laughter. Maggie’s laugh had always reminded Fi of a child’s, it was so high and airy.
Their laughter drew attention and led to the re-telling of the joke, which was enjoyed by the whole Family. Fi sat back against the couch and closed her eyes, feeling pleased. It had been a dangerous raid overall, and her detour into Bloomingdales had been silly and self-indulgent. But now in this one moment, she thought, it was all worth it.
A View to a Kill
----------- Fi -----------
Fi’s contentment was not to last. Asher’s Consideration Day did not go as smoothly as she would have liked. Then again, she thought, it was her own insistence upon total honesty that made it difficult. Asher told the Family the entire truth, including the fact that he had been the Leader of a gang in New York that was often vicious and dangerous.
“I’m not sure why I decided to stay,” he admitted. “I guess I didn’t believe the thing about the nukes because it seemed like ‘Who was still around to push the button’? The soldiers in the City certainly had no idea what was happening and many abandoned their posts within a week.” He shook his head. “It seemed better to stay put, so I did. But the City turned out to be a hellish choice.” Fi’s stomach tied itself into knots as he shared his stories. He had seen it all too, she realized. In fact, he had seen more because he didn’t know to ‘Stay Away from People’. His voice was flat as he told his story.
“My gang grew steadily weaker as they killed each other or I threw them out. I kept trying to find a way to protect our weak members, the older men and women, but it was a losing battle. I saw things,” he hung his head, “and did things, that I would have once thought unimaginable.” He raised his head and stared straight into Fi’s eyes. “Including hurting Sean,” he said and the Family gasped. John’s face screwed up in anger, and Sean flushed. Asher turned to Sean, his face remorseful.
“I’m sorry Sean,” he apologized. “But I have to tell them who I am, what I’ve done.” Sean turned away from him in silence. Asher then told them about capturing Sean and beating him. Fi listened with her eyes closed and her head down, her fingers laced behind her neck. Though Asher was kind enough to leave out many of the details, Sean’s shame was obvious and it ripped her apart. Angry and flushed, he sat utterly still, staring at the ground while the rest of the group gasped at each confession. She wanted Asher in the Family so badly, but…it was a Family Rule that they could not harm one another, Fi worried. Could they accept someone in their midst who had already hurt one of them?
When it came time to make her case, her stomach twisted with nerves. Fi argued eloquently for him, and she thought that most of the Family was willing to say ‘Ay’, but Sean was sticking.
“I don’t know Fi,” he said, his tone honest. “I don’t know what we need with another fighter really. I mean we did fine when you were our only fighter. And he’s another,” Sean looked Asher up and down, “rather large mouth to feed. He doesn’t bring much to the table like Jose and Mayra.” Lydia piped up.
“But I don’t really either Sean,” she said, “Not really.” She shook her head and smiled at Asher who smiled cautiously back at her.
“I think that the Family Teacher is an extremely important role,” he replied. Fi was annoyed by his tone and then felt confused. Why would she feel annoyed? When Fi studied Asher’s face, she just didn’t see harm there. He was so kind, even if he was a fighter. Sean persisted, his tone growing petulant.
“Let’s assume that we don’t care that Asher’s skills aren’t necessarily needed,” he said. “What about whether we can really trust
him?” Fi’s heart sank as he posed the question. “He’s an amazing fighter, I saw that myself, but what if he decides to turn on us? Isn’t that a concern?” His eyebrows were raised and he gestured with his hands as he spoke. The horrifying bruising of his face only helped to make his case.
“I mean, he left his own gang, of which he was the Leader, to go with us pretty darned easily,” Sean argued. “What do we think of someone who can do what he’s done?” His voice and emotions rose with each new question. He fired them like bullets and Fi felt every one hitting her dead center. “What about character? Doesn’t that matter to us? Can we have a killer in our midst?” his voice had risen to a near shout when his gaze settled on Fi’s bowed head and his face fell. In an instant, he realized that he had made a mistake.
“Well Sean,” Fi peered up at him with dull eyes. Her stomach filled with dread as she realized what she had to do. “I think if a person’s actions are going on trial here, then we need to be fair about it.” She kept her voice steady and purposeful despite the quavering in her gut. She wanted Sean to know where this was going, and that it was his doing. Sean’s eyes widened.
“No Fi,” he said, “it’s not the same thing!” he protested. She closed her eyes for a second. That is where he was wrong and that was why she had to do what she had to do.
“Yes Sean,” she opened her eyes. “It is.” She turned to the family and took a deep breath. “I have not always been honest with you Family,” she began and Sean dropped his head into his hands, distraught. There was a quiet murmur and Asher stared at her with concern. She felt the warning of tears and she bit the inside of her lip to control herself. “I lied by omission to try to protect you.” Her voice shook, despite her efforts to sound calm.
“I have never lied in Consideration,” she clarified, “but I do not share a lot of what happens when I leave to go out on raids.” Repeating Asher’s own words, she continued, “I have seen a lot of things and…done a lot of things that I would have once found unimaginable,” she said, as her eyes grew distant. C’mon, she thought. Just say it. It’s time you said it out loud anyway. She felt like she was going to throw up, but she managed to choke out, “Including killing people.” Fi dropped her head and tried to ignore the gasps around her. She kept her head down. If there was one thing she couldn’t do right now, it was face Maggie’s eyes.
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