by Lisa Bilbrey
“Is everything okay?” Elle asked.
Derek nodded. “Family crap.”
“Your parents?” she pressed.
“No, my sister.” He shifted his attention over to her. “She needs money for rent — again. My parents won’t help her anymore so she turns me.”
“Oh.” Elle picked up her coffee and took another sip. “Why won’t your parents help?”
“Lucia is nineteen and irresponsible. She dropped out of college after one semester to pursue a music career but has been bouncing from one mindless job to another for over a year now. She’s … Well, she’s a bit of a free spirit and it aggravates my parents. They feel that by cutting her off financially, they can force her to go back to school, but it won’t work. There’s nothing Lucia wants more than to sing.”
“Is she good?” Elle pushed their empty tray toward the end of the bed and rolled onto her side so that she was facing Derek, who mimicked her position.
“She’s amazing. Her tone and pitch are flawless. She just needs someone to give her a chance, but the odds aren’t in her favor. There are just too many other people chasing the same dream.”
“Does she live here in San Francisco?”
Derek shook his head. “She’s in L.A., which also angers my parents. They don’t like the fact that either of us left home.”
“Yeah, mine and Sadie’s didn’t either,” Elle murmured with a sigh. “Texas girls aren’t supposed to leave the prairie for the coast, but we couldn’t wait to get the fuck out of there. That town, our parents — they were suffocating us and our relationship.”
“You and Lucia would get along.” Derek laughed. “She hates Arizona; complains all the time about it offering her nothing. Sometimes I wonder if she hates it there because I left her alone with them.”
Elle smiled and placed her hand on his chest. “Are you and Lucia close?”
“We’re as close as we can be considering that there’s a nine year gap between us. By the time she was born, I was too busy playing baseball and going to Boy Scout meetings.”
She laughed. “I can’t see you as a Boy Scout!”
“Eagle Scout, beautiful,” he boasted with pride.
“Hmm, interesting,” Elle murmured. “Do you hate Arizona? Is that why you decided to go to school in L.A.?”
“No. I never hated it, but I don’t belong there, either. My parents moved us from Mexico about a year after I was born. My father is a proud man who found work as a gardener. He wanted a better life for us than he could give us in Mexico, I think.” Derek paused, smiling. “Not long after Lucia was born, the man who my father worked for died. He left my father his house and half his wealth. I was just nine at the time, but I knew that was the moment that changed everything for my father. He invested the money so that he could help pay for our education. He didn’t want us to have to take out ridiculous loans just to get a degree, but my decision to move away from him and my mother was hard on him. His children are the most important part of himself, his legacy, and I think he feels like us leaving, branching out on our own like this, is our way of telling him to fuck off.”
“Are you?” Elle asked.
Derek smiled. “No, but I couldn’t stay in Arizona, either. I didn’t belong there, Elle. Sounds crazy, I’m sure, but I never felt … whole there. When I got my scholarship to UCLA, I couldn’t say no. I was a Mexican boy being offered the chance to study at one of the best schools in the country.”
“And when you moved to L.A., did you find what you needed there?”
Nodding, he said, “A part of it. I was terrified to leave home, but when I met Callum, got to know him, I found someone I knew I could count on. Callum’s my best friend, Elle. I’ve cared about him for a long time.”
“Are you in love him?” Elle questioned. Derek opened his mouth to reply, but clamped his lips together before he could utter a sound. “You are, aren’t you? You’re in love with him.”
“I don’t know,” he admitted, sliding his hand onto her hip. “I don’t know what I feel right now. He’s everything I never knew he could be. In my family, men aren’t supposed to love each other like this, Elle. They’re not supposed to want to kiss them, to make love to them, but I do want to kiss Callum and make love to him. I just … I just want him.”
“Hey, you don’t have to explain that to me,” she groused. “My parents would disown me if they knew anything about you, Callum, and Sadie. I learned a long time ago not to expect their approval, Derek. And not just because of my attraction to Sadie, either. They made it clear that I wasn’t the daughter they wanted me to be, but I’m okay with that because I’m happy with who I am. I have Sadie, and you and Callum now. My sister and her fiancé love me, support me, and I’m all right, ya know?”
“You know I care about you, Elle, don’t you?” His tone was almost pleading. “You and Sadie — you’re not just a causal fuck for me or Callum. It’s important that you know that you’re both important to us.”
“Of course I do,” she murmured, trying to keep her emotions from betraying her. “I care about you, too, Derek. So much that it scares me.”
“What scares you?” he whispered.
Elle’s eyes closed, and she took a ragged breath. “I don’t want to lose you. The thought of not having you in my life makes my heart ache.”
“Look at me,” he ordered and her eyes opened in a heartbeat. “We are not leaving you, at least not unless you want us to. Do you understand that? Callum and I will never pressure you to give us more than you feel comfortable with.”
All Elle could do as tears filled her eyes was nod. The warm drops sprinkled against her cheeks.
“Don’t cry, beautiful,” he cooed, leaning forward and brushing his lips across hers.
“Then don’t be so fucking sweet,” she whimpered, smiling through the cascade of tears. “I trust you, Derek. You, Callum, and Sadie — you’re everything I never thought I deserved.”
With a kick of his foot, Derek sent their dishes crashing to the floor before closing the small space between bodies and reminding Elle how much he wanted her.
Eleven
Sadie and Callum didn’t return to the house until almost midnight. Neither of them would tell Derek and Elle where they went or what they did, not that it mattered. Elle could tell by the simple ways that Callum touched Sadie and the responding smile on her best friend’s face that they had needed to spend some time together. In a lot of ways, the relationship between the four of them had been shifting toward Derek and Sadie being a couple and Callum and Elle becoming lovers, but it didn’t feel right, not anymore. Elle wanted them all as equal partners and lovers in their crazy, unconventional relationship. Based on the way Derek let his hand slide over Callum’s hip as Callum made love to Elle the night before, he wanted the same connection with his best friend that she had with hers.
Early Sunday morning, Elle slipped out of their bed, shimmied on Callum’s discarded shirt, and padded down the stairs and into the kitchen. She made a pot of coffee, and once her cup was made to perfection, she hugged it to her chest and slipped out onto the front porch. Elle settled in one of the white, wicker chairs next to the door, tucking her knees up in front of her as she sipped her coffee and just enjoyed the ambience displayed before her.
The view was incredible. She could see the Golden Gate Bridge, and the light fog that was rolling on the top of the gleaming blue water. Other than the sound of the seagulls squawking, the area around Callum and Derek’s house was quiet. It was easy to forget that they lived in such a large and thriving city.
“What are you doing out here?” At the sound of Sadie’s voice, Elle smiled and shifted her attention toward the front door. Wearing one of Derek’s shirts, Sadie was leaning against the door frame and had a huge grin on her face. Ever since they’d started seeing Callum and Derek, her best friend had been so happy, smiling all the time. Elle had often worried that her inability to trust anyone else had cost Sadie her chance at love, but seeing how blissful she
seemed now, Elle knew her worries were pointless.
“Just enjoying the view,” she said. “It’s so beautiful here.”
“It is,” Sadie agreed. She pushed off the frame and sat in the chair next to Elle. Reaching over, she brushed Elle’s hair behind her ear. “What’s on your mind, sweetie?”
Elle laughed. “Am I that obvious?”
“Kind of.” Sadie shrugged her shoulders and let her hand slide over Elle’s.
Sighing, she shook her head. “The last couple of days — hell the last few weeks — have been … amazing, Sadie. I haven’t felt this relaxed and content with my life in so long.”
“But,” she prompted. “There is a but, isn’t there?”
“Not a but as much as a how. People aren’t going to accept our relationship. They’re going to judge us, call us names for giving into our desires,” she whispered, ashamed of the tremor that laced each word. “It will cost us everyone.”
“You mean our parents,” Sadie said, and Elle nodded. “Honey, I don’t care anymore if either of our parents accept us or not. I need you too much to let you go because they can’t get over their homophobic fears. And I need Derek and Callum, too. I refuse to live without y’all.”
“Your Texas twang always comes out and you say ‘y’all’ when you start ranting.” Elle brought Sadie’s hand up to her lips. “I won’t let you go, or Derek and Callum, either, but I don’t want my mother to hate me more than she already does.”
“Helina doesn’t hate you,” Sadie scoffed.
Elle rolled her eyes. While her mother had never said those exact words to her, Helina had never hidden her disgust for her daughter or the choices she had made. Her mother would never look past the girl who stumbled into the house at three in the morning, drunk off her ass and see the woman who worked her fingers to the bone in order to graduate from Berkeley with two degrees. No, in Helina Reid’s eyes Elle would never be the ideal daughter.
“She doesn’t!” Sadie insisted. “She just doesn’t understand you, Elle. You’re not like Ivy, and it frustrates her. I, however, happen to love that you’re not like your sister.”
Elle smiled. “I love Ivy, but I will never be the perfect daughter that she is, you know?”
“Enough of that bullshit.” Callum’s voice started Elle and Sadie, who were quick to turn and look over to the door. He and Derek were standing there, both of them wearing nothing but a pair of cotton shorts that didn’t hide the fact neither of them had put on underwear. Callum was standing in front of Derek, who had his arm wrapped around the other man’s waist. “You’re amazing, Elle, and beautiful. Look at what you’ve done for the company in just the last week.”
“I haven’t done anything,” she scoffed.
“Again, enough of that bullshit,” Derek replied. “You landed an account with our biggest client, which says more than you realize. Trust me, beautiful. Samuel presented plans for Alvarez Park to Gabriel three months ago, and he shot him down flat, calling his work amateur and juvenile. The only reason he didn’t take his business from the company is because Samuel convinced him to give him one more chance, promising to find the perfect architect.”
Elle was stunned. Gabriel Alvarez had rejected plans from the CEO of Davis Architecture and Design, but had accepted hers after just half an hour? “I — I don’t know what to say.”
“Say you’re brilliant and amazing.” Derek smiled. “Elle, people all over town are talking about you and your work.”
She gasped, standing up. “What?”
“You really don’t know, do you?” Callum asked, shaking his head. “I shouldn’t be the one telling you this, but my dad has been fielding phone calls from developers all over the state about you.”
“What about me?” Elle asked.
“They’ve been expressing interest in you working on their designs. And I’m not talking about one or two, Elle; I mean like more than a dozen developers.”
Flabbergasted, she stood there, unsure of how to respond. People were asking about her, wanting her to work on their projects? Overwhelmed, Elle brought her hand up to her chest and tried to understand what was going on. She was a nobody in the business, a newbie who was still getting her feet wet. Why would they want her?
“Are you going to puke again?” Callum asked, warily.
She laughed, though she wasn’t sure why; none of what they were telling her was funny. “No, I’m not going to be sick. I just don’t understand.”
Callum smiled. “You’re amazing, Elle. Why is that so hard to accept?”
“Because I’m not. My work is sloppy and messy. It takes me dozens of drafts before I’m somewhat happy with what I’ve done. Ask Sadie how many times I screamed, cursed, and threw my plans on the ground out of pure frustration.”
“A lot, but that doesn’t mean that you’re not amazing, Elle. That just proves that you’re a stickler for details.”
Shaking her head, Elle turned and walked down the path toward the driveway. “This is all too much.”
“What is?” Derek asked, and when she looked back, she saw him, Callum, and Sadie watching her.
“All of this!” she exclaimed, waving an arm in the air. “Sadie and I landing the Alvarez account and going to work for the company, meeting the two of you and falling in love!”
Derek, Callum, and Sadie stood there on the porch, staring at her with their mouths hanging wide open.
“Please don’t tell me that I am the only one feeling overwhelmed with everything going on?” Elle pleaded with them.
“Say it again,” Callum murmured, his lips curving upward into a smile.
“What?” she asked. “That everything is out of control? Because it is.”
“No,” he said, walking over to her. “Give me your reasons again. What is too much?”
“The account, the new job at the company, you and Derek,” she rambled.
“And?” he pressed, gripping her hips.
“And what?”
“You don’t even realize what you said, do you?” Derek smiled, sliding his arm around Sadie.
“What did I say?” Elle asked.
“You said that you were falling in love with them,” Sadie told her.
Elle gasped, trying to think back to the words she had sputtered during her rant. Had she just confessed her love with them? “Oh.”
“Did you mean it?” Callum asked, bringing his hand up to her face. “Are you in love with me? With Derek and Sadie?”
“I …” she trailed off and swallowed against the lump in her throat. If she was honest with herself, she’d have to admit that she was in love with them. They’d only been together for a few weeks, but in that short amount of time she’d come to need them, to yearn for their touch, and to love them. As a tear fell down her cheek, she closed her eyes, parted her lips, and whispered, “Yes.”
In an instant, Callum had her in his arms and his mouth pressed against hers. Elle cried out and when her lips parted, he slipped his tongue in, deepening the kiss. Elle’s hands slid up his body, wrapping around him as their mouths danced together frantically. Her body tingled, the need to be closer to him soared through her, but before she could touch him, he tore his lips from hers.
“I was hoping that it wasn’t just me,” Callum said, peppering her jaw and neck with kisses. “I kept telling myself that it was too soon, that I was rushing everything, but, damn it, I love you. All of you. You’re everything I want and need.”
“I love you, too,” Sadie called out, pulling Elle and Callum’s attention to her. She was wrapped in Derek’s arms, tears swimming in her dark, brown eyes. “Elle, I’ve always loved you. You’re my girl, but us with Derek and Callum — I know without a doubt that I’m in love with all of you.”
“Derek?” Callum asked, causing them all to shift their attention to him. “Are you in love with us?”
“I … I am,” he stammered. “I mean, I think I am. The thought of not being with the three of you hurts here.” He placed his hand over his heart.
“Is that love?”
“Yeah. For me it is. I just …” Callum trailed off as he released Elle and walked over to Derek, placing his hand on top of Derek’s. “You’ve always been there. Always. From the moment I met you, you were the one person I knew I could count on, the only person whose opinion mattered.”
Derek smiled and leaned forward so that his forehead was resting against Callum’s. “I feel the same. You’re just … damn, dude, you’re sexy as hell, and I want you. All of you.”
“You have me.” Callum closed the distant between their lips, and Elle moaned. It wasn’t the first time she’d see the two men kiss, but it was the first time she’d seen the passion and desire behind it. “I never thought you’d want me, too.”
“Yeah, well, you’re an idiot.” Derek laughed and looked at Sadie and Elle, who had found themselves wrapped in each other’s arms while they watched their men together. “I love all of you. The four of us — we’re perfect together.”
“Yeah, we are,” Sadie agreed, looking at Elle. “Right, sweetie?”
She released a deep breath, feeling more vulnerable than ever with her lovers. “Somehow, I think we’re exactly where we’re supposed to be.”
The heaviness of their moment hung over them until the sound of Derek’s stomach growling echoed through the air, causing them all to laugh. With the weight of their declarations off their shoulders, they headed into the kitchen and made breakfast. It wasn’t anything special, just pancakes, bacon, and eggs, but they were together, touching and kissing.
Elle and Sadie had never hidden their relationship from Derek and Callum, and now the two men were opening that side of themselves and letting their love show. Simple gestures, but a kiss on the shoulder, a hand grazing a lower back, but they were reconfirming their love for each other. Much like Elle and Sadie, Derek and Callum had been lovers for years; they just hadn’t learned how to express that love.
“So, what should we do today?” Callum asked as they finished breakfast. He stood up and began gathering the dirty dishes from the table and carried them over to the sink.