by Lisa Bilbrey
“You think so?” she asked, sniffing back her tears.
Derek smiled and nodded. “Yeah, I do.”
Elle slid her legs off the edge of her chair and scooted onto his lap, wrapping her body around his. “I hope so.”
“Is everything okay in here?” Callum asked. Elle laid her head on Derek’s chest as she looked over at him and Sadie, both of whom looked concerned.
“Yes,” she whispered, and then reached for them. They were at her side in a heartbeat, their arms enveloping both Derek and Elle. “Just needed a good cry, I guess.”
“Me, too,” Sadie admitted, and when Elle cocked an eyebrow. “I was in the shower, and it just kind of hit me. First Christmas without our parents.”
Elle nodded.
“The other day, I was thinking about the first Christmas after we got together. Do you remember?”
Warmth flooded her cheeks. “Of course I do.”
“Helina was on the war path because you had spilled paint on the jeans she bought you for Christmas, and James had locked himself in his office so he could write. Ivy had gone to her new boyfriend’s house, so it was just you and me. And we locked ourselves in your room, and —”
“Made love,” Elle whispered. “You were so gentle and sweet. You kept telling me how beautiful I was, how good I tasted.”
Sadie inhaled a deep breath. “I almost said fuck it all and told them about us.”
“You did?” she asked, and when Sadie nodded, she added, “Why didn’t you?”
“Because it was new, and I was afraid that you’d pick your mom and dad over me. I loved you even then, Elle.”
“I loved you, too,” she admitted. “Think I’m just PMSing or something.”
Sadie laughed. “You’re allowed to be emotional right now. Christmas is about family, and we’re missing a part of our family, but we can’t change that. Now, we have an amazing group of people in our live who love and accept us. Ivy and Nick, Samuel and Lydia, Lucia, Carlos, and Felicia, Thomas, Leigh, and Tyson, and they’re enough. For now at least.”
“You’re right.” Elle blew out a heavy breath and leaned back, dragging her hands through her hair. “Okay, I am going to take a shower and try to wash away my embarrassment.”
“There’s no reason to be embarrassed,” Callum scoffed, but Elle rolled her eyes. “There’s not!”
“Okay, I’ll remember that the next time you start sobbing like a two-year-old in front of your future mother-in-law,” she grumbled, but Derek, Sadie, and Callum smiled. “What?”
Before they could explain what was so amusing, Felicia walked into the kitchen, nervously glancing from Elle to the oven.
“Sorry to interrupt, but I don’t want the cinnamon rolls to burn,” she groused.
Derek’s eyes widened, and his nostrils flared as he sniffed. “I thought I smelled your homemade rolls.”
Elle laughed. “You just now realized it?”
“Well, yeah,” he muttered, shrugging his shoulders. “I just figured it was one of those girlie candles you and Sadie like to burn.”
“Oh, dude, no,” Callum grimaced, but Felicia laughed.
“Mijo, you’re an idiot,” she scoffed as she pulled the pan of cinnamon rolls out of the oven. “If I’ve taught you anything, it was that you never, ever, under any circumstance make a snide comment about what the woman in your life, or women as the case may be, enjoy. Besides, I’m sure this place smelled like boys before those two moved in. I, for one, am glad they burned those ‘girlie’ candles.”
“Yeah,” Sadie snickered.
“Sorry,” Derek grumbled, but when he looked over at Elle, he winked.
Felicia rolled her eyes. “Whatever. Elle, where do you keep your platters?”
“Oh, I can it for you,” she said, stepping around Sadie and Callum.
“Nonsense.” Felicia waved her off. “Just point me in the right direction.”
“Um, in the cabinet to the left of the stove, on the bottom,” she replied.
Felicia opened the door to the cabinet. “Ah, yes, this will be perfect,” she exclaimed, pulling out a dark, green platter and placing it on the counter. Looking over her shoulder, she said, “Boys, get off your asses and help me. I need milk and juice. Oh, and forks.” When they didn’t move, she huffed, placed her hand on her hip, and pointed directly at them. “Do not make me ask you again.”
“Yes, ma’am,” Derek and Callum muttered, scrambling to their feet.
Elle bit her lip to stop from laughing and walked out of the kitchen. Carlos was sitting on the couch with the newspaper perched up on his leg. Shifting his eyes over the top of the paper, he gave Elle a subtle nod before turning his attention back to the article he’d been reading.
“I have one question for you, Elle,” he said.
“Oh? What’s that?”
Carlos smiled and turned back to her. “Heads or tails?”
“Excuse me?” she asked, laughing.
“Heads or tails?” he repeated himself.
“Um, heads, I guess,” she replied.
“Interesting,” Carlos mused, and turned his attention back to the paper.
“If you say so.” And with a shake of her head, she turned and headed upstairs and into their bedroom.
Half an hour later, she’d showered and dressed in a pair of jeans and a T-shirt. She’d just walked out of the bedroom when she saw Lucia lingering at the top of the stairs.
“Are you going down?” Elle asked, causing Lucia to jump and spin around. “Sorry.”
“It’s okay,” she said, waving a hand in the air. “I’m waiting for my mother to sit down.”
“Okay.” Elle nodded. “Is there a reason you’re waiting for her to sit down?”
Lucia smiled. “Hell yes! If she’s still standing when I go down there, she’ll make me go shopping with her. I heard her and Pop talking last night about it. Said my clothes were too slutty.”
“She said that?” Elle blurted out.
“Well, not in those exact words,” she rambled. “Ma doesn’t like my style. Feels my hair and piercings are a cry for help, but what really gets her are my clothes. She thinks I’m slutty, that I’m a floosy because I like short skirts, tight tops, and I don’t wear underwear.”
The bluntness of her comments shocked Elle.
“Too much?” Lucia asked, wincing. “Don’t get me wrong; I love my mother. She’s a fucking rock star, but she still sees me as little girl with my hair in pigtails, you know?”
“Um, yeah, sure, I guess,” she said.
“I think it’s safe to go down now,” Lucia murmured, leaning around the corner.
“Can I ask you something first?”
“Sure!” Lucia chirped.
“Your dad asked me an odd question,” she began, but pressed her lips when Lucia groaned.
“Heads or tails, right?” she asked, and Elle nodded. “He has this theory that people who select heads are optimists, while those who go with tails are pessimists. He asks everyone to choose. Says it’s his life’s work.”
“Oh, okay.”
“That’s just my dad for you, though.”
Elle shook her head, but didn’t say anything as she followed the spunky woman downstairs. However, when the doorbell rang, Elle veered off to the right and pulled it open, feeling the air still in her lungs. Because standing right in front of her were Helina and James Reid and Claudia and Bruce Williams.
Twenty-six
A dozen emotions flooded through Elle: hope, bitterness, joy, anger, love, and fear, but none of those eased the ache that filled her heart as she stood in the doorway and stared at the people standing in front of her.
Normally styled to perfection, Helina Reid looked horrible. Her silky brown hair was messy, like she’d just ran her fingers through it and yanked it into a disheveled ponytail, and her dark, chocolate-brown eyes had purple circles under them. Next to her, James Reid didn’t look much better. His raven hair stuck up in several directions, almost as if he’d grippin
g it in frustration. Maybe he had. Like Helina, his brown eyes had circles under them. It was the first time she’d ever seen her parents this distraught, and she wasn’t sure how to feel about it. They’d always been so put together and perfect.
“Baby, who is it?” Sadie asked, sliding her arm around her waist as she came to stand next to her. “Oh.”
In that instant, that short span of time, Sadie’s normal, cheerful disposition evaporated, and her voice was cold and harsh. Her arm tightened around Elle, who couldn’t seem to turn her attention away from her mother and father, away from the people who had turned their backs on her. Yet, there they were. But why were they there?
“Honey,” Claudia Williams murmured, reaching for her only to pull her hand back when Sadie shifted away from her. Like her daughter, she had flaming red hair, but unlike Sadie, who had brilliant green eyes, Claudia’s were a dull grey.
Standing next to his wife, Bruce Williams fidgeted nervously. With honey-blond hair and sparkling green eyes, he towered over the woman to his right, but the fear in his eyes made him seem much smaller, almost like a child being scolded for sneaking a cookie an hour before dinner.
Sadie reached around Elle, grabbed the door, and pushed it shut, leaving their parents standing on the other side. She stumbled backward, her hands coming up to cover her mouth. “Goddamn sons of bitches.”
“Who was it?” Derek asked, walking over to Sadie and placing his hand on her cheek.
Her lips trembled as she shook her head, dislodging the tears lingering on her eyelashes. The doorbell rang again, and everyone turned from Elle and Sadie to the door. Callum stepped around Elle and once again opened it, his eyes widening as he looked back at Elle.
“Oh,” he murmured before turning back to the people standing in the doorway. “Um, come in.”
Slowly, Helina, James, Bruce, and Claudia stepped inside the house, their eyes locked on Elle and Sadie.
Callum cleared his throat as he shut the door behind him. “We didn’t think you were actually coming.”
Elle gasped and shifted her attention to Callum, who seemed to refuse to look at her. He knew they were coming? Or that they might come? Unease crept her, and she struggled to keep control of herself, of the range of emotions inside of her.
“We weren’t sure, either,” James said, keeping his eyes locked on Elle, who was confused. “I guess we should have called.”
“Yeah, probably,” Callum murmured, turning to Elle. “Honey.”
“You knew they might show up here?” she asked, barely able to speak above a whisper.
“Um, well, yeah, but we weren’t certain. Right, Derek?”
Elle shifted their attention to Derek. “You know about this, too?”
“You were so sad, and we just wanted to make everything better,” he mumbled.
“What did you do?” Sadie asked, facing him and placing her hand on his chest, fisting his T-shirt.
“Baby,” he whispered, covering her hand with his own.
“Say it,” she whimpered.
“Remember when Callum and I had to go to L.A. the week after Thanksgiving?” His words tumbled out of his mouth, softly and with a tremor.
Sadie nodded.
“We … we lied,” he admitted. “We flew to Texas, and talked to them. Tried to make them understand how much we love you, how much we need you.”
“You … you went to them?” Elle whispered, her hands coming up to her chest as her eyes flooded with tears.
“We did,” Callum said, sliding his hands along her arms and up to her shoulders. “Are you mad?”
She nodded. “A little. You looked us in the eye and told us you were going to Los Angeles. You fucking lied to us!”
He leaned his forehead against hers. “We did, and we are so sorry, but we didn’t want to get your hopes up just to have them let you down. Thanksgiving was hard enough on you both, we didn’t want Christmas to be like that, too. But we couldn’t tell you because we weren’t sure they’d come. If we told you and they didn’t show up, you’d be disappointed again.”
Derek stepped over to them, so that he and Callum were nestling Elle and Sadie between them. “Please forgive us. We would never do anything to hurt you. Not on purpose, anyway. Please, baby.”
“Just don’t lie to us again,” Elle whispered.
“We love you, and that won’t ever change, but don’t lie to us again. We’re in this together, every step of the way,” Sadie added.
“We promise.” Callum kissed her and then leaned over to Sadie, pressing his lips against hers before taking a step backward and looking at Helina, James, Claudia, and Bruce, who looked shocked and uncomfortable. “Can I get you some coffee?”
“No,” Elle said, before any of them could say anything. “They are not staying.”
“Elle, sweetheart,” James started, but Elle shook her head and reached around Callum, yanking the door open.
“Get out.” Her voice was calm and even, something that surprised her. “Get out now.”
“Elle,” Helina begged. “Please. Just listen to us.”
“Listen to you?” she quipped. “I did listen to you. I’ve listened to you for years. Listened to you tell me how I wasn’t good enough, pretty enough, worth enough to be called your daughter. No, I am done listening to you, so get the fuck out of my house.”
Helina whimpered, slinking back into James’s arms. “I’m sorry. Please, all I’m asking for is a few minutes.”
“And all I asked for was you not to be a bitch all of my life!” Elle scoffed.
Helina’s eyes closed, and a tear slid down her face. “I don’t … I don’t know how to do this.”
“Do what?” Sadie asked, causing them to shift their attention to her. “Hmm? You have no idea what you did to her at the wedding, what you’ve done to her every day of her life. She’s perfect and amazing, yet you made her feel worthless. What kind of mother does that to their child?”
Helina flinched backward. “I know. I wish I could take it back. I wish … Well, I wish a lot of things, but I can’t change what I’ve done, what I’ve said, but I’d like another chance.”
“Another chance?” Elle whispered, mostly to herself. “Where have you been for the last four months? Four goddamn months of nothing but silence from you!”
Pressing her lips together, Helina’s eyes closed. James shifted her so that she was nestled against his chest, his arms wrapped protectively around her.
“I know we don’t deserve anything from you after … after the way we handled things at the wedding, but please, just give us five minutes. That’s all we’re asking,” James said, and it was the first time Elle had even heard her father so vulnerable. Shaking her head, she bit her lip. “Elle, please!”
“Fine,” she murmured, shifting her eyes up to his and folding her arms in front of her chest. “Talk.”
James and Helina looked over to where Carlos, Felicia, and Lucia were standing, watching the people standing in the doorway. “In private, please,” her father requested.
“No,” Elle said, causing them to turn their attention back to her. “When you stood there and called me a whore, made me feel worthless and pathetic, you didn’t care who was watching, who could hear you, so why should I? Hmm? Why should I?” she snarled.
“Elle,” Callum said, pulling her attention to him. “Don’t do it like this. They’re trying. Just take them into the dining room, or the kitchen, or upstairs, or outside on the porch, but sit down and talk to them.”
“Why should I?” she whimpered. “You were there; you saw what they did to me.”
He placed his hands on her cheeks. “I did, and I’ve watched for the last four months as you’ve missed them, grieved for them, so I’m asking you to sit down with them in private, and at least listen to what they have to say.”
Her eyes fluttered to a close and she could feel her tears sprinkle down her face.
“Please,” he urged. “For me, for Derek, just listen to them, and if you don’t w
ant them here, then we will kick them out.”
Elle opened her eyes and looked up at him. “Promise?”
He smiled before he leaned down and kissed her. “I promise.”
Nodding, Elle took a step backward, and shifted her attention to Helina, James, Claudia, and Bruce before slipping her hand into Sadie’s. “Fine.”
Elle led Sadie through the living room and into the kitchen. She knew their parents would follow, though she still doesn’t understand why they were there. They’d made their feelings painfully clear, and then ignored her and Sadie for four months.
Elle and Sadie sat on one side of the table, while their mothers and fathers were on the other side. For several long, excruciating moments, nobody said anything. The silence was deafening, though. Elle couldn’t believe that they were sitting across from her, like nothing had happened. Like they hadn’t destroyed a piece of her soul and ripped her heart out.
“Well.” Helina cleared her throat, placing her hands on the table and spreading them out, almost like she was attempting to smooth out the wooden grooves. “This place is nice.”
“Say what you want to say and then leave,” Elle groused.
She opened her mouth several times before she said, “I was angry, Elle. You hid a part of your life from me, and I was angry. I didn’t handle it the way I should have, I can admit that, but I was hurt.”
“So was I.” Elle shifted in her chair. “When you flew in for the wedding, when Sadie and I picked you up at the airport, you didn’t hugged me. Not once.”
“What?” James asked, a frown creasing his forehead.
“You got off the plane, and met us at the baggage carousel, but instead of giving me a hug or asking how I was, you complained about how your flights were delayed. Then you said I was tired, that I worked too much, that Sadie was a bad daughter for not calling her mother enough. And it just never ended,” she rambled. “I stood there taking every insult, taking every sideways glances and pointed comment about how I was ruining my life, because I love you, and I didn’t want to lose you.”