by Elly Blake
“You mean you stole it?” I grinned in admiration.
“Yes, well, borrowed is a more accurate word. I held the book only briefly, before Lord Ustathius discovered I had it and took it back. That book”—he turned and peered at the shelves as if he might summon the volume with the power of his will—“is where I first learned of the prophecy of the Child of Light and the destruction of the throne. I am certain that it contained knowledge of the destruction of the Minax. Since the day I returned here after King Rasmus banished me, I have scoured the castle to no avail.”
“Maybe Lord Ustathius still has it,” I suggested.
“I questioned him. He says he barely remembers the book, although he does enjoy thwarting me. We had a sort of informal competition for the king’s ear many years ago.”
“So another copy lies in Sudesia,” I said, drawing his attention back to the point at hand. “But on which island?” I’d seen the maps showing islands clustered together like pieces of broken slate tossed to the ground.
“I assume it is kept in the capital, Sere, where the queen lives, as well as being home to the school for Fireblood masters.”
It was the closest thing to hope I’d felt in weeks. “But… Arcus will never agree to my traveling to Sudesia. He’ll say it’s too dangerous. And even if he would allow it, you know he would send warships and soldiers to accompany me. We might as well declare war.”
“We need that book,” he said. “I’m convinced it has the answers we seek.”
I saw my own certainty reflected in Brother Thistle’s eyes. There was no alternative: I had to go. But we couldn’t tell Arcus.
Even as worry and guilt churned in my stomach, I couldn’t help a surge of excitement at the prospect of boarding that ship. Sudesia was a land of warmth and fire. I had longed to know where Firebloods came from, the customs and practices of a place that seemed mysterious to me now but was home to my ancestors. Home to my mother before she’d come to Tempesia, though she’d never told me why. Maybe in returning to her homeland I would find that part of myself that echoed with empty longing since the day she died. “When I get there,” I said, “if I get there safely… where should I start?”
“There is a library in the school for Fireblood masters that is second to none, and older even than ours. If you can find the ancient text, or perhaps a scholar with an obsession for esoteric knowledge, there lies our last hope of finding out how to destroy the Minax.”
“Then you should come with me. No scholar is more obsessed than you.”
“I highly doubt your Sudesian friend would allow me on his ship.”
“Why shouldn’t he? After all, if it weren’t for you, King Rasmus would still be on the throne.”
“If it weren’t for us.” He reached out and patted Arcus’s hand where it lay limply on the covers. “Whatever our mistakes, we did accomplish that.”
I covered Arcus’s other hand with mine. We sat like that quietly for a minute, the three of us connected. We’d been through so much together. I didn’t want to leave them. The thought alone made it feel like a steel clamp was squeezing my heart.
“But it does not matter that I helped you,” he continued. “The Sudesians would see me only as a Frostblood. An enemy.”
“Then I’ll go alone,” I said softly. “But how can I leave Arcus like this, wondering if he’ll recover? He’ll worry about me.”
“I will tell him our plans as soon as you’re gone. He will be angry, but he will forgive me. Try to send us a message when you arrive in Sudesia. Perhaps if the southern provinces are aiding the passage of Sudesian ships, they would also be willing to let messages pass.”
“I will. And I’ll find the book.”
“Do not tell the queen your intentions. If she is under the influence of the curse, she will protect the throne at all costs. Your best chance is to ingratiate yourself with her and the Fireblood masters. If they see you as some sort of hero for destroying the frost throne, you might be welcomed.”
I noticed a thin coating of frost covering the monk’s chair, a sign he was losing control of his gift and more anxious than he let on. And no wonder. There were so many hopeful assumptions in our plan. And so much on my shoulders. It was dizzying. For a minute I just gripped my hands together and breathed deeply until I regained my composure.
“So if you think about it,” I said, “not only will I be searching for the book, I’ll be trying to mend ties between our kingdoms, which is just what Arcus wants. In that light, I could be called a sort of unofficial ambassador on behalf of the Frostbloods.” I caught his eye and we both smiled at the irony, though his smile didn’t reach his eyes. “Really, Brother Thistle, who would have thought?”
“As much as I cringe to think of sending you on a mission of diplomacy,” he said, “you are our best hope for peace. And our only hope for destroying the Minax.”
We discussed the plan until my eyes grew heavy, and Brother Thistle left. Arcus’s bed was so large that I was able to curl up at the foot quite comfortably. Exhaustion took over and I drifted off immediately, opening my eyes only when I heard Arcus asking for water. Dawn seeped through the crack between the curtains, laying a yellow stripe across the floor. I hopped from the bed, shivering in the morning chill. I poured water from a crystal pitcher and held the cup to Arcus’s blue-tinged lips.
He struggled to lift his head. I slid one hand behind to help him, my heart contracting at the sign of weakness. Even in the battle for the throne, he hadn’t been hurt like this.
He took a sip and nodded, settling against the pillow as I put the glass back on the table.
“I didn’t expect you to be here,” he said, his voice rough from sleep.
I smiled, light-headed with relief that he was awake and lucid. “At your service.”
“I need to be ill more often,” he said. “My own personal—”
“If you say ‘servant,’ I’m leaving.” The truth was, he could say whatever he wanted and I wasn’t going anywhere. I would savor these last few moments with him.
One eyebrow rose. “I was going to say ‘healer.’”
“Ah.” I smoothed my fingertips over his forehead and he closed his eyes with a sigh. “That’s acceptable. Although I have no idea what to do other than keep you in bed.”
A mischievous grin spread across his face.
I narrowed my eyes at him. “And don’t say anything about how I’m to keep you in bed. You already embarrassed me in front of Lord Manus. I’ve never seen a Frostblood blush so much.”
He huffed a small laugh. “I’m sorry I don’t remember it, then.” He glanced around. “Was Brother Thistle here last night? I have a vague memory of hearing your voices.”
A pulse of alarm jolted through me. How much did he hear?
“We were discussing who could be behind the attack. What to do next.”
His eyes fluttered closed. “And? What did you come up with?”
“Nothing definite as yet.” I hated to lie to him. It was harder than I thought it would be. I continued stroking his forehead, then trailed the back of my hand against his cheek.
“Ouch.” His hand came up to grab mine. I blinked in surprise to see the ring Kai had given me on my finger. I’d forgotten all about it.
“Where did you get that?” he asked. “This filigree is so intricate. It reminds me…” His brows pulled together. “It reminds me of a ring that has been passed down in my family. It was from Sudesia. But it has a sapphire. And thicker here.”
“Oh?” I didn’t know what else to say. If I told him about the ring, I’d have to tell him everything.
“Ruby.” His voice was hard. “What aren’t you telling me?”
“You’ve been keeping things from me, too,” I countered quickly, pulling my hand from his. “The Minax? The murders?”
A flicker of guilt passed over his expression. “That’s different. I was trying to protect you.”
“Well, so am I.”
His glance fell back to my hand. “Wh
ere did you get the ring?”
I sighed, resigned. “From the southern dignitary.” I paused. “Only he wasn’t who he claimed to be. As it turned out, he was a Sudesian.”
His eyes pierced mine. “How the blazes did he get into the ball?”
I fiddled with the ring, watching as it caught a band of sunlight. “I don’t know. He must have had someone vouch for his false identity. Anyway, he came to the ball to… to see me.”
“To see you?” His volume rose with each word. “What for?”
I told him what Kai had said, leaving out the part about the people of the southern provinces helping him through the Frostblood blockade. If Arcus knew that, he’d be forced to deal with it.
“So this stranger claims to be a Sudesian and he’s offering you passage across the sea.” He was angry. “Why? What do they want with you?”
I shrugged. “Perhaps it’s an interest in peace, which he thinks could be achieved through someone like me negotiating. But I didn’t get to ask further questions. After the attack, he ran off.”
“Not exactly the mark of an honest man. He could have made the offer directly to me.”
“He doesn’t trust you. Surely that’s not a surprise. All the Sudesians know is what your brother has done to the Firebloods in Tempesia. And we’d just been attacked.”
“For all we know, he was in on the attack.”
I shook my head. “That makes no sense. Kai fought the attackers off with me.”
“Kai,” he spat. “You’re on a first-name basis with him?”
I stiffened. “When Drake had a knife to my throat, Kai saved my life.”
Arcus’s face lost color. “Drake had a knife to your throat?”
I pulled back the collar of my robe to uncover the tender skin Drake had scored with his blade. “I would have died if not for Kai.”
He swallowed and was silent for a minute. His expression didn’t change, but his eyes showed fury and fear as they rested on the wound. Then his nostrils flared. “You wouldn’t have been out there in the first place if not for him. What was he planning? To kidnap you? Who knows what would have happened if—”
“If those handy Frostblood assassins hadn’t come along? Are you even hearing yourself? This could be the only way to repair ties with the southern provinces and find a way to destroy the Minax. Which, in case you’ve forgotten, is turning people into murderers. What if it’s planning to come back for me as it promised?” I gestured to my heart-shaped scar. “What if the visions, which are only getting worse, are a precursor to possession? What if I become the next murderer? I can’t just sit around waiting and wondering, not if I can do something to protect the kingdom, to protect you.” I was half-breathless after rushing to say my piece. I took a steadying breath. “Brother Thistle knows of a book—”
He waved a hand. “I know about his blasted book. Don’t you think I’ve been searching for it, too?”
“Then you know how important it is. Perhaps, if I can somehow learn how to bring the fire Minax back to Tempesia, we can find a way to destroy both creatures at once! So, fine, I’ll admit that we don’t know much about Kai. But considering what’s at stake, and what we stand to gain, it’s worth the risk.”
“‘Worth the risk.’ As if it takes much of anything for you to put yourself in danger.”
“It’s not safe here, either.”
“It will be,” he swore. “I almost lost you! I’ll be a damn sight more careful whom I trust now. And by the way, the Blue Legion, or whatever they call themselves, tried to kill me, too. Are you suggesting I also run to Sudesia?”
“You’re so infuriating! Think, Arcus. Why do these nobles want to kill you?”
“Because I’m making changes. Because they’ll lose the land my brother gave them. And because they want to hold on to old prejudices and hatred.”
“Yes. Precisely. Rasmus spent two years twisting everyone and everything to suit him, no doubt with the Minax influencing every thought and decision. And now you’re trying to untwist it all in a matter of weeks. It’s one thing to get treaties signed, but it’s another to… to parade a Fireblood in front of them all.”
Arcus’s eyes flared, then narrowed. “Be very, very careful, Ruby. If you’re suggesting that I’m using you as some sort of… taunt…” His eyes burned with cold fire. “To imply that it’s wrong for you to be here because of your heritage…” He shook his head. “You’re a hypocrite.”
“And you’re a fool if you don’t see what you’re doing! My presence here is hurting you. And I can’t stand it.”
His eyes were made of cracked ice, his cheekbones and jaw carved from stone, the scars standing out as if a sculptor hadn’t sanded the edges down yet. “I’ll die before I send you away to satisfy their hateful expectations.”
The vow sent a quiver of something painfully sweet through my nerves. “But, Arcus, if you die, what do you think will happen to me?”
His eyes closed slowly and stayed closed. He looked almost defeated, so unlike his usual self, and I remembered that his body was fighting a battle to heal.
“I’m sorry,” I said, slumping onto the edge of the bed. “You’re so tired. You’re injured and you should be resting. We can talk about this later.”
He shook his head, eyes still closed. “I can’t trust you not to leave.”
I hopped up again. “You’re being so obstinate! This could be the only way to save us. I came here alone and fought in the arena and killed and almost died several times over. Now I’m supposed to live wrapped in lamb’s wool so I don’t get a scratch?” I realized I was trembling and my hands were balled into fists. If there was one thing I couldn’t bear, it was confinement. I wouldn’t let anyone stop me—not even Arcus. “No. I’m going. I’m going.”
His eyes snapped open. “No, Ruby. You’re not.”
“What are you going to do?” My voice rose to a shout. “Lock me in your keep?”
“If I have to!”
“Well, you will have to! Just like your brother did! And I swear, I’ll never speak to you again. I vow it on my mother’s life.”
The words echoed and hung in the air like knives about to fall. My stomach lurched with a fear I hadn’t felt for weeks. Regret sank heavy, sharp talons into my chest. Had I just said that? How had we gotten here?
“Go, then,” said Arcus, his voice a bitter thread of sound. If the silence weren’t so absolute, I wouldn’t have heard him at all. The air reverberated with hurt. “Go to your people. Risk your life, if it seems that important to you. I won’t be accused of keeping you somewhere you don’t want to be. You’d only come to resent me. I refuse to be the source of your unhappiness.”
“It’s important to you, too,” I said, my voice breaking. “I’m doing this for you.”
He didn’t move, didn’t speak for several moments. “Tell yourself that, if you must. Chase things you’ll never find. Trust the lies of a stranger.”
“I don’t think he’s lying, Arcus. I don’t.”
“I can’t talk about this anymore. Just go.”
Suddenly, tears were behind my eyes and I couldn’t breathe. “I can’t leave you like this, when you’re so weak. Let me stay until you fall asleep again, at least.”
“No.”
“Then I’ll send for Brother Thistle.”
He scoffed. “I don’t want to see him, either.”
I could feel the change in him, the determination to shut us out. I told myself his anger was rooted in hurt, his cold rejection based in fear. Arcus had learned that caring led to pain. His mother had been killed when he was young. He’d loved his younger brother, Rasmus, but was forced to lead a rebellion against him to save the kingdom from the cursed king. When we’d lived at the abbey, he’d pushed me away—so fearful of his own feelings for me that he’d denied them for as long as he could. He was trying to protect himself by building walls, layer after layer of solid ice to keep out anyone who could disappoint or hurt him. If he kept it up, he would only succeed in isolatin
g himself from the people who cared about him.
“Don’t say that,” I said softly. “You’re like a son to him. He just wants to help. Don’t punish him for agreeing with me.”
“He can accompany you on your way to the port and then go to the abbey from there. I have enough enemies here.”
Brother Thistle was hurt but resigned at being expelled from the castle like an unwelcome guest. He spent the days packing, lost in his private worries.
Marella, on the other hand, once I admitted my plans, pestered me for details until I told her how I intended to find Kai in Tevros and sail from there. She insisted on helping me pack, ignoring my protests that I didn’t plan to bring more than a satchel I could carry easily. As she looked critically through my wardrobe, she offered advice about the route to Tevros and told cautionary tales about the dangers of trusting strangers, mostly involving loss of coin and life. I finally asked bluntly if she thought I was foolish to go.
Her violet eyes stayed steady on mine as she contemplated the question. My stomach tied itself in knots as I waited. Her opinion, I realized, had become important to me.
Finally, she looked away, stuffing a ball gown into my travel chest. I doubted I’d have any use for such clothing, but since I wasn’t bringing the chest, I didn’t bother to say anything. She seemed to enjoy packing, and I was touched that she wanted to help.
“Whether it’s wise is irrelevant,” she said, carefully folding a chemise I also wouldn’t be bringing. She looked serious, almost melancholy. Very unlike her. Before I could ask what was wrong, she shrugged and grabbed another gown. “Sometimes there is no choice. We all have our role to play and this is yours. You must go.”
I wished I could feel as certain as she sounded.
I tried two or three times a day to see Arcus, but the guards turned me away every time. Finally, on the third day, I threatened to burn the door down, speaking loudly enough for half the castle to hear.