Her breath caught in her throat. “How do I know it’s you?” she demanded. Her guard was still up and she still clutched the lamp tightly in her fist. It was too strange to be true, yet she desperately wanted it to really be him.
“Ask me anything. Ask me something only I would know.”
Amelia thought for a moment. “What’s special about the last New Year’s Eve we spent together?” she asked, not expecting to get the correct answer.
There was a pause and a twinge of regret in his voice. “We decided to start trying for baby that night,” he replied.
She could have fallen over. Never in a million years did she expect to get that response.
It was something no one else could have possibly known.
They’d opted to spend a quiet night at home in front of the fire instead of going out with friends. They’d reflected on the past year and had talked about their hopes and dreams for the future. Then they’d decided the time was right; they were ready to start a family.
Amelia made Jake promise not to tell anyone they were trying. She’d seen the heartache her cousin had suffered after miscarrying, when well-meaning people had unknowingly asked painful questions. She’d also been glad to avoid the barrage of teasing and “helpful” baby-making advice, particularly when she and Jake hadn’t been able to get pregnant.
She believed with all her heart that Jake wouldn’t have told anyone they were trying.
But she asked a second question just to be sure.
“What was our last fight about?” she asked in a trembling voice.
“Socks,” he replied without hesitation. “I mean, maybe it went deeper than that and I probably should have helped out with the housework more but…on the surface of it, our fight was about me leaving my socks on the floor in the middle of the bedroom…sorry ‘bout that.”
Amelia’s shoulders heaved. No one else would have known that. After that explosive argument that had escalated too much too fast, he’d taken off. Jake had left in such a hurry that he’d forgotten his cell phone on the nightstand beside the bed. He’d driven straight to the cabin, stopping only to buy a few packs of beer.
“Amelia,” he said gently, “It wasn’t your fault.”
She began to cry. “How can it be you?” she sobbed. “I want to see you.”
“It doesn’t work that way in the afterlife, Sweetheart. I’m with you all the time. Those first few days when you could barely get out of bed? I didn’t leave your side. I crawled into bed beside you and tried to hold you but my arms went right through you. I’m sorry for putting you through all that, Amelia.”
“You mean I can’t see you?” she bawled, unable to fully comprehend what Jake was saying.
“No. I mean, if you stare into the water you might see a glimmer of my reflection,” he said. “Sometimes you might even think you see my reflection behind you for an instant when you look the mirror. But I can’t touch you or hold you or kiss you. God,” he said, his voice cracking, “I want to kiss you so bad right now.”
“Why haven’t you ever talked to me before?” she asked, feeling hurt as she struggled to regain her composure. “It’s been over a year, Jake. If you’ve been with me all along the way you say, then why didn’t you tell me you were there?”
“I tried, Sweetheart. God, I tried more times than I can count. I’d scream until my voice was hoarse and raw. Sometimes you’d turn and look my way and I’d be sure you’d finally heard me. But you never did. Sometimes at night when you’re sleeping I can get through to you for a few seconds, I think because your walls come down when you’re dreaming. But it’s never long enough.”
So Jake really had been visiting her in her dreams. “I know,” Amelia sniffled as she thought of those brief, precious nighttime visits. “It’s never long enough.” Then she asked, “Why can I hear you now if I couldn’t before?”
“My presence is stronger here,” Jake explained. “Wolf Lake is where I died…and it’s where I lived, too. I visit you no matter where you are, but my calling now is to be here at the lake. I’ve been waiting so long for you to come here.”
“I’m sorry. I wanted to. I thought about it so many times, but it was so painful…” She wrapped her arms around herself tightly, wishing they were Jake’s instead. “I miss you so much, Jake. I’m so sorry for –”
“Shhh. Don’t, Sweetheart. Don’t apologize. Don’t beat yourself up any more. It wasn’t your fault. Every couple fights. We both said horrible things to each other that night, but I never doubted for a moment that you loved me and I never stopped being crazy about you for a second. I just needed some time away to cool off so I came out here and…”
“And drank yourself into a stupor?” she demanded.
Amelia didn’t know what was wrong with her. She was getting the chance most people can only dream about – the opportunity to speak with her dead husband. Yet all she was doing was getting angry at him. She didn’t understand. Maybe it was simply easier to be furious than heartbroken.
“Amelia.”
“They didn’t find your body for two days, Jake! Two days! Do you know what that was like for me, waiting by the phone and worrying and hoping you’d walk in the door? Then…then I got that phone call,” she spat, her blood boiling. “They told me you were dead, Jake. You’d drowned in the lake, they said. My idiot husband got drunk and decided to go swimming.”
She threw the lamp into the lake with as much force as she could muster. Water splashed up violently and a loon that had been sleeping on the water a few meters away flew away, startled.
“Amelia,” he said more forcefully. “Listen to me.”
“No!” she interrupted. “You listen to me! Do you know what it was like to have to break the news to your parents that their son was dead? Do you know what it was like to see the expressions of grief and sorrow on their faces and know that I was breaking their hearts by telling them?”
He was quiet for a moment. “I’m sorry you had to do that.”
“Jake.” Her voice was a whisper now, all the rage drained out of her. She felt small and defeated, standing out there staring at a massive lake and talking to an invisible ghost. “Did you do it on purpose?”
They were the words she’d never dared utter aloud before. Jake’s death had been ruled an accident, but she’d never been able to completely silence the tiny voice in the back of her head that wondered if Jake’s death had been a suicide.
“What?”
“I told you I hated you,” Amelia reminded him, despising having to relive the awful things she’d screamed at him. “I told you not to bother coming home and then…then you didn’t.”
She heard him sigh. “Sweetheart, I said things I regret, too. We were both angry. And no, my death was an accident. It was muggy out that night and I needed to cool off. I dove into the lake for a swim, but my foot got tangled on some seaweed and I couldn’t get loose.”
A whoosh of air escaped Amelia’s lungs. She hadn’t even noticed that she was holding her breath. “That must have been awful for you,” she said sadly, simultaneously horrified and relieved to learn of her husband’s last moments of life.
“It was quick,” he assured her. “Death isn’t so bad…but God I hated leaving you, Sweetheart.”
“I wish I could hug you.”
He hesitated. “There’s a way you can, if you want.”
“Of course I want to – how?”
“I was there listening when Harold was telling you about the legend of Wolf Lake,” Jake told her. “It’s true, what people say. We, the dead, do come back, rising up from the mist. I’m the most energized at night, which is why I’m able to talk to you. My voice is at its loudest and strongest while the moon is rising. But once it reaches its peak, well…”
“What?”
“I change into a wolf.”
Amelia blinked. She had a million questions. “So you’re sort of like…a werewolf?”
Jake laughed. “Yeah, something like that I guess.”
&nbs
p; It had been so long since she’d heard that laugh. She felt her heart skip a beat. “That wolf I keep seeing…?”
“It’s me,” he affirmed. “I tried to tell you in a dream but I think we got our wires crossed. I’m sorry for scaring you. I was only trying to protect you.”
Amelia looked up at the sky. It was a full moon. “You can really take the form of a wolf?” she asked uncertainly. The whole thing sounded too far-fetched to be real, but then again here she was standing in a lake talking to her dead husband.
“Yeah,” he replied. “It’s almost time for me to change. I can’t seem to communicate when I’m in wolf form – it’s as though animal instinct takes over. But you can get that hug if you want?”
“Yes,” she told him without hesitation.
Amelia stood there at the edge of the lake looking around uncertainly. It was completely dark out now, the moon her only source of light. The crickets that had been chirping in the forest abruptly fell silent and the breeze suddenly died down. She felt a shiver pass through her as she waited anxiously.
Then she saw the beautiful grey and white wolf emerge from the forest next to her. It was the same one she’d seen before. Its brilliant green eyes focused intently on her as it walked toward her, stopping a few feet away. It stared at her patiently, waiting.
Her reflex, of course, was to run. How did she know it was Jake and not an actual wolf? It sure as hell looked like a wolf! She wished she hadn’t thrown the lamp into the lake, just in case she needed it to fend it off.
But she trusted Jake – dead or alive.
She stepped toward it apprehensively. “Jake?” she asked softly, holding out her shaking hand.
The wolf stepped forward and licked her hand.
She sunk to her knees in front of it, her trembling legs no longer able to support her body. “It’s really you!” she gasped, reaching for the magnificent beast. She wrapped her arms around its muscular body and buried her face in its soft, shiny fur.
It nuzzled her neck in response.
It obviously wasn’t quite the same as hugging her husband when he was in human form, but she could nonetheless feel Jake everywhere. His presence was so strong and felt so comforting. It was overwhelming.
They remained like that for quite some time, the wolf shielding Amelia from the cold with its sturdy, strong body. She closed her eyes and listened to its heartbeat – Jake’s heartbeat. It was almost like he was alive again. She didn’t dare move lest the moment be lost.
It was only when the wolf stood and urged Amelia to start walking that she noticed how cold it was. If she didn’t know better she’d say there was frost in the air. She looked up toward the moon to gauge how much time she had left with Jake. It had disappeared behind one of the dark storm clouds that had built up in the sky.
The wolf tugged at her hand, careful not to break her delicate fair skin.
It was leading her back toward the cabin.
“It’s too dark,” she protested. “I’ll fall.”
The wolf paid no attention to her. It simply spurred her along, refusing to take no for an answer. Amelia was too emotionally spent to argue. She tucked her long red hair inside Jake’s hoodie, thankful she’d thought to put it on before leaving the cabin. Then she put its hood up, shivering in the crisp night air.
Amelia could hardly see where she was going, but the wolf led her fearlessly through the forest. They walked slowly, the wolf patient as Amelia trailed behind it with her hand on its broad back for guidance. It paused every so often, looking over its shoulder as though to check that she was okay.
By the time Amelia and the wolf reached the back of the cabin, her teeth were chattering. Thunder was rumbling in the distance and the odd bolt of lightning was illuminating the black, star-less sky. She fumbled through her pocket for the key to the cabin and when she looked up, the wolf had disappeared.
She looked around and then went around to the front of the cabin. As she neared the corner, she walked into a tall, muscular man. “Jake!” she gasped, wrapping her arms around him.
“What the hell?”
It wasn’t Jake’s voice.
Amelia stumbled backward and tripped over the uneven earth. She would have crashed to the ground but the shadowed stranger reached out to steady her at the last second.
He let go of Amelia’s shoulders and pulled out a flashlight. “Sorry to scare you,” he said. “I didn’t get away from the shop until late and then I had to take my dad to the hospital two towns over because he didn’t feel well.”
It was Chase.
He cleared his throat. “Anyway, when we got back after a ridiculously long wait in the emergency room I towed your car in for you.”
Amelia took a deep breath, trying to clear her head. After her encounter with Jake in the forest, it was difficult to concentrate on anything else. She scanned the surrounding woods for the wolf but it was nowhere to be found.
“Thank you for towing my car,” she said. “Is your father alright?”
Chase nodded. “Yeah, he was just reacting to a new medication. He’s resting comfortably at home now. I should get back.”
Amelia took a closer look at him. “What about you, are you alright? You look exhausted.”
There were dark circles under Chase’s eyes and even his posture was that of a weary old man. He waved his hand dismissively. “It’s been a long day,” he replied. “It’s been a long year, actually, looking after my dad and trying to keep the shop afloat. But that’s not your problem.”
“Have you eaten?” Amelia hated herself for channeling her mother, but she couldn’t help it.
“Nah, I’ll grab something when I get home.”
“Don’t be silly. I’ll make you a sandwich.” She didn’t particularly want the arrogant shopkeeper hanging around – she wanted to search the forest for Jake. But after all the trouble Chase had gone to on her account despite his own hectic schedule, she felt she owed him.
Amelia unlocked the cabin door. The paint fumes hit them immediately.
“Phew!” Chase complained, waving his hand in front of his face to ward off the strong paint smell. “You’re supposed to open the windows when you paint inside, you know.”
“I know,” Amelia said defensively. “Are you coming in or not?”
Amelia made a pitcher of lemonade and a bologna sandwich for Chase. They sat out on the back deck at his insistence; he joked that he’d start hallucinating if he had to breathe in the strong fumes for much longer.
They sat out there in silence, Chase devouring his sandwich as though it was the best thing he’d ever eaten. Amelia poured him a second glass of lemonade and topped off her own.
“What do you keep looking for?” he asked, watching her as she stared out into the forest.
“I, uh…nothing,” she replied. Then to make him stop giving her an incredulous look, she added, “I’ve been seeing a wolf around here lately. I was just wondering if it’s still around.”
It wasn’t a total lie.
“Damn wolves,” Chase muttered before taking a long gulp of lemonade. “I thought we were rid of them but I guess they’ve moved back into the area. They’re getting too close to town for my liking.”
Amelia was sorry she’d brought up the subject. “It didn’t seem to be hurting anything,” she insisted. “Besides, I like watching it.”
Chase looked at her like she was crazy but said nothing. “Thanks for the sandwich,” he said, setting his empty glass down next to his plate. “Have a good night – well, morning. Whatever it is…”
“You too – thanks again for your help.”
As Amelia watched Chase walk away his words echoed in her head. It was, she realized, morning. The sun was just rising, peeking through the thick trees to the east. It was turning the sky brilliant shades of orange, pink and mauve.
She’d never been so disappointed to see a sunrise in her life. It meant that Jake was gone.
She walked into the forest calling his name just to be sure. As sh
e’d feared, she received no response. It seemed Jake was gone until the night fell again.
Time had never dragged on so slowly.
Amelia thought she might go crazy as she sat in the cabin staring at the cuckoo clock on the wall. She willed the hands to move faster but the clock paid her no heed, instead mocking her with two miniature Dutch figurines who popped out and danced precisely every thirty minutes.
She tried to nap but she couldn’t sleep.
It was getting warm in the cabin, even with all the windows open and the fans blowing. Amelia stripped off her clothes and spread out on the couch. Her skin was clammy and cool and her red hair clung to her face.
She stared up at the ceiling and wondered if Jake was with her right now, watching.
The thought sent a thrill through her.
Feeling naughty, Amelia let her hand trail across her bare stomach until it reached her bare breast. She ran her fingertip lightly across her left nipple, causing the delicate pink nub to instantly harden. She did the same to the right one until they were both rock hard and standing at full attention.
Jake had loved to watch her play with herself. He’d always beg her to masturbate for him, claiming it was the hottest thing in the world to watch his sexy wife pleasure herself. Amelia had always been shy about it.
She’d occasionally agree to do it under the blankets or with the lights off, but she’d been too self-conscious to do it in broad daylight with nothing to hide her naked body from her husband’s lustful gaze. He’d tease her, saying that she truly was his “blushing bride” but the arousal on his face would be plain to see.
She wished she’d taken more chances. She wished she’d given him everything that he’d fantasized about.
Amelia spread her legs wide and slid her finger across her plump vulval mound, arching her hips as she did so. She picked a random corner of the cabin and pretended Jake was right there watching her, seeing everything.
She didn’t let herself hide, even as her cheeks reddened. Instead, she reached down and spread her slick folds open with her hands, giving her invisible dead lover a good show. She knew everything was fully exposed – her tight, wet orifice, her hard little pearl…everything.
Haunted (Wolf Lake) Page 4