Rafael’s mom had said her peace. Her heart wasn’t heavy with grief, she accepted that her life wasn’t a good one or a fair one, it just was one. Cleaning the kitchen after dinner, she snuck glances at Iggy. He was broken also—no good either. She just didn’t want to tell him, “estamos quebrados.” There was no need to waste anymore hope on them. Hope went to Augustine—maybe he could give some to Rafael, who she also considered hopeless.
Putting the dishes away, she reminded herself that Rafael having no soul, no light, was her fault and she must save the child from her. She had nothing.
In a living room drawer, Iggy found pictures of Rafael as a baby. In one, was his sister at the hospital and a nurse was handing her the baby. The nurse looked exactly like Lisa. It was Lisa. It was Lisa…Iggy stood up and walked to the kitchen giving the picture to his sister and pointing to Lisa. His sister interrupted with a shrug and said, “Ni me acuerdo de estar embarazada…” She left the room, and Iggy knew that this was something. This was something bigger than him, bigger than the street, the town, and bigger than any cloud in the sky. No more chicken shit, Iggy knew he’d have to go find her and ask questions.
Lisa
Handing Maggie a glass of water, Lisa touched the picture in her pocket. She felt the urge to show it to Maggie, but since Craig was sitting on the couch, it seemed impossible to do it in secret. Lisa knew she would show Craig at any minute. She needed to, she wanted to, it had to be done, but her mouth wouldn’t open and her feet wouldn’t move. Looking down at Maggie, she noticed the older woman studying her. She was watching her like a concerned mother and Lisa almost felt some warmth for the woman.
Almost… then she remembered why she was there and Lisa remembered who she was. She had no time for warmth or attachments. All of this would be over soon enough.
She was doing nothing to prepare for next week and this was her decided upon doom. Lisa couldn’t help but wonder if it was too soon to ask Craig. What if he became angry and decided to leave before week 5? Week 5 was only a couple days away and she had no idea when Superior Mother would have End Point come. At the beginning of the week, middle, or end? There was no telling. There was no information.
She risked a lot asking him now, but she couldn’t help thinking that everything for her was lost already. Almost lost, Lisa told herself. There might still be time to save herself.
Helen was busy learning every corner and path Superior Mother took in The Grey. She learned that her days, like all in The Grey, were scheduled and her routine mostly predictable. Except for the times she disappeared behind doors Helen could not enter. When she went behind those doors, there was no telling what she did, but the time she spent behind those doors was almost always the same. Helen worked hard to memorize all this in her head, never wanting to chance a scrap of paper that could be discovered. Week 5 was coming for her daughter and she needed to make her move to become Superior Mother quickly, and before Superior Mother made a move on her.
Lisa handed Craig the photo, she looked at his big knuckles and his fat fingers—a man’s hands were the only thing Lisa found attractive about the so-called opposite sex. The strength in the grip, the size of the fingers—these things would make her think that perhaps they were worth having in The Grey.
Craig stared at the photo and Lisa could feel a tension rise in the room, but suddenly the doorbell rang. Lisa didn’t notice Maggie run and hide. She did not notice Craig’s neck stiffen. Lisa opened the door to Iggy, who just walked into her apartment and handed her a photo. There stood Lisa, looking at yet another photo of herself. The photos were decades old…neither one was her, but how to explain. Lisa needed to explain, but was distracted by Iggy. He was different, less insect and more man. How did the lunatic become a guy?
“That’s not me…but it is my sister. I have many, many sisters,” she began. Craig stood up, looked her in the eye, and then sized up Iggy. “Dreadlock Guy cleaned up alright…” Craig took Iggy’s picture and looked at it himself, putting both photos side by side, then glancing up at Lisa.
Nothing in The Grey, nothing at all, had prepared Lisa for this moment. They were a secret society. The women of The Grey lived by their own ways, their own rules, and their own intelligence. There was no way of describing The Grey to make them understand what Lisa understood. There was no way Lisa could make them believe that she actually understood very, very little of the inner workings of The Grey.
Information was earned in The Grey. Missions gave you ranks—the higher the ranks, the more information you were allowed. Lisa was the lowest rank and the only one who knew everything was Superior Mother. How could Lisa get them to understand that.
Iggy sat down, “There are many of you…I’ve seen them in the alley by this apartment. I was friends with one many years ago. She was my teacher. Then, she left and took my mind with her. You came back and my thinking came back. What does it all mean? It means something, something.”
Lisa looked at Iggy and felt that she owed him the truth. Whatever lady of The Grey was here before the rift took his sanity. There was a mistake in The Grey. Lisa shouldn’t be here, there was evidence of them left behind. fingers. Lisa crumbled on the floor, looking at her marks; it was in her apathy and her enabling herself to do nothing that everything came and sat on her lap.
“There are many of us, hundreds, maybe more. We are in every country, spread out all over the world. You could call us clones if you like, if that is your understanding. We don’t see it like that. We are a breed of superior female species, not human, but not much of other either. Like most breeds, we look alike, but are individuals. I am the lowest rank in The Grey and because of that, I know very little else. Information in The Grey is earned from mission’s that our Superior Mother sends us on.”
Iggy, Craig, and Maggie said nothing. They just watched Lisa like a news report. Lisa was on stage confessing her sins to the journalists. Iggy was the first to speak, “Ladies of The Grey?” Lisa smiled despite herself. She had asked this question in school many times and was always given the same answer by every Mother, “We are not peace, yet we are not chaos. We are the logical line between the two, which is grey.”
Lisa then grabbed a pillow, leaned on it and went on, “That’s the answer I was taught. I don’t know who named us. As I said, I am the lowest rank. I am the dirtiest caste. You three are part of my mission, but I was not told exactly what my mission with you is…”
Craig perked up at that, “Mission? We are part of it? Who else? Who else? What do you mean you don’t know?” Craig finally sat down and looked at Lisa as if she was already the enemy.
“You don’t get it! I’m shoved out into your world, given very vague orders, and a timeline. Orders will be given as needed. It’s a way of testing me to see if I can think on my feet. If I can think of the whole…I’ve failed. I’m telling you I’ve failed…” Spontaneously, Lisa started sobbing. Saying it out loud, she realized that she would finally find out where the bad girls go.
Maggie who had stayed silent the entire time nodded and asked, “cuando mi mantan? I want to die. Let them come and kill me. I am ready, Lista…” Maggie looked at Craig, “y tu, te debes de ir a la inferno con migo.”
This made Craig belly laugh, while Lisa sobbed, Iggy thought, and Maggie stood her suicidal ground.
Superior Mother
Helen stood in Superior Mother’s bedroom, waiting patiently for her to come in. She had surprised her assistant by following her in and quickly stabbing her to death. Helen was hiding next to a bookshelf. Her assistant had been shoved into Superior Mother’s bathroom. Crouching there, she understood her motives. She knew what she wanted so much it was making her itch. She would be Superior Mother; she would open all doors and know all secrets. Her chance was moments away and the anticipation was making her jittery.
Superior Mother stepped into her bedroom, gently closing the door behind her. She knew what was waiting in her room. She understood the next steps. Should she fight or should she hand it over
? Superior Mother was more scorpion than sparrow, yet she felt tired and no longer wanted the keys to the castle.
“Come here Helen…I know what you’ve done. I know what you intend to do. Do not worry yourself, there won’t be a battle. I felt the icy itch. I will honor you as my predecessor with conditions, of course,” Superior Mother walked over to Helen and held out her key ring and a small silver ring that she wore on her right finger—it only had a slash on the top, nothing more.
Helen stood up, “You abdicate?” The key ring was odd; there were at least fifty keys on it, but it felt light as a feather. Superior Mother put the ring on Helen’s finger; it prickled icy cold and didn’t warm. She put her other fingers on it and it stayed icy cold.
Superior Mother watched her amused, “It never warms. It will stay like that always. Late at night, when you are fast asleep, it will wake you. When you take a warm bath and dip your hand in, it will not warm. Until you abdicate or it is taken from you, it will not leave your finger. It is a constant reminder that we come not from sunshine, green grass, and fluff. We are from icy darkness where illumination is something light years away. The goal, my dear, is to return to our darkness. This is not home.”
Helen thought the mountain was home. It is the only home she has ever known. How can she lead when she knew not where to return them to?
Superior Mother grinned, “You have the keys to all doors and all knowledge…use it well. Generations have tried for home with no luck as of yet. Perhaps you, my dear, will be lucky.”
She went to her bed in a very old lady fashion, took off her shoes, and stretched out. “Feels wonderful to get that thing off my finger, even if it means the end.” Those were her last words. Helen left the room to let the women of The Grey know that they had a new leader. She was the alpha, and they were now her dogs.
Mother 86 watched the monitors with interest. Lisa was doing a big ‘no-no’ in The Grey—she was telling her story, her notion of The Grey. This had to be reported immediately. She should have gotten up fifteen minutes ago and told the other Mothers what was going on, but Mother 86 felt vexed.
She had been passed for missions three times now and this was sticking in her heel. Superior Mother could not seem to understand that she needed to get out for a bit and stretch her legs. Once, twice, and now three times she had been denied—told to carry on with her duties at home. Being forced to sit, day after day, at a desk watching others on missions was torture.
Mother 86 was guilty of another very big ‘no-no’ in The Grey—noncompliance. That, in The Grey, was a virus and Mother 86 was a vector. She knew she couldn’t change her attitude, she just couldn’t. Mother 86 also knew that Superior Mother wouldn’t change the way she handled her attitude.
Mother 86 heard a yelp and suddenly there was Mother 64 pointing and giving her one of those looks that was a mixture of disgust and confusion.
“There’s a breach…a breach…it needs to be handled!” Mother 64 put down the phone and looked at Mother 86, pursing her lips together. “I kinda liked you.” Mother 64 never bothered to let Mother 86 know that Superior Mother had ordered the situation handled hours before she went to bed. Mother 64 just hated Mother 86 and her sour-puss attitude.
Week 5
End Point
The twilight hours at the beginning of week 5 gave a nice shadow over the Mothers arriving on Feline Street. These Mothers were special—all the same and none different on the outside, but on the inside, these Mothers in particular were known for efficiency. Efficiency that is callous, maybe, but also effective. These were the Mothers that were sent in when no others would do; they would get things handled without a stutter. They arrived in situations with a smile on their faces and pants that were unwrinkled. Nothing phased them; you could not startle their stance. These Mothers were the ‘Boo!’ in the middle of the night when all was quiet and safe. These were the women who would tuck you into bed with a soft words and a cozy blanket knowing you’d never get back up again.
What was most frightening about these mothers was that they took great pride in their work. There was a glee to them when things got done. Never a question of why.
Lisa
Lisa felt ice in the air; she was still talking to Iggy and Craig. The talking had lasted for hours and was one of the most empowering experiences she had ever had: to speak openly about who she was, to question out loud why things went a certain way. Lisa felt giddy, even knowing that nothing good would come.
Craig’s breath was visible. Iggy started to shutter and then, within half of a blink, they were surrounded by mothers. One was nose to nose with Lisa, smiling at her and putting a finger to her lips, “Hush, don’t bother waking up the neighborhood.” She winked at Lisa, but didn’t move an inch.
“Waking people up is rude and well, I’m already annoyed with you, so waking up the neighbors would only add to my…dislike for you.” She sighed and smiled again, “At this point, I only dislike you a little, but hey it’s like a tree; it can grow. And the bigger it gets, the worse things will go for you sugar cheeks.”
The room was freezing now, and Lisa was shaking. She watched poor Iggy standing between two Lisa’s, his eyes darting back and forth. These Mothers would take his mind again.
“It’s not week 5…” Lisa whispered. There was no need to speak louder, she was positive they would hear the slightest hiccup from her.
“Week 5…well, you pretty little bitch—I mean that though you’re gorgeous, you remind me of myself,” the Mother chuckled, “except I’m much smarter. Listen, when you open your big mouth and give away information that you shouldn’t give away, you forfeit your rights to—hmm how do I word this... breath.” With that, she punched Lisa in the stomach and Craig lurched forward. Two Mothers kicked Craig in the back and swiftly knocked him to the floor. “Take it easy big guy…trying to save her…trying to be a gentleman?” She dug her foot into Craig’s neck. “Don’t kid yourself fella, you’re no hero.”
“More like a zero,” chimed in the other Mothers, chuckling. “Too funny,” said the lead Mother sitting on the floor next to Lisa as she looked around sizing up the place. “See the problem with you girls is, you make messes that sometimes you’re too stupid to clean up yourself…what a looser…so, we are going to do it for you…Yep, just like that, hocus pocus.”
Lisa wanted to fight a fight that she was bound to lose, but just as she started to speak the leader popped her in the mouth with the heel of her hand, “Ooops, damn that was unnecessarily violent of me…wasn’t it? Really low class, but the thing is, I have no need to be polite and you have no need to speak unless spoken to. Also, just an FYI, we spend a lot of time at home waiting for orders. So, we get a little bored, and well, a bit overly excited when we get to go out.” She wiggled her fingers and two Mothers put an inhaler to Craig’s mouth and told him to breath in. Craig started to fight off the Mothers, but the leader stopped them.
“Listen big guy, we can do this pretty or we can do this ugly. I’m good at pretty, but really good at ugly… inhale or I will feed you your balls.” She grabbed Craig’s cheeks and he inhaled—falling limp almost immediately after. Lisa shook and thought about screaming until the leader got back in her face.
“Oh my goodness, don’t be a drama queen. I was sweet. He went quickly and without much pain. I much prefer blades…slice them up like apples…” She kissed Lisa on the nose, titled her head and looked at Iggy.
Pointing to Iggy, “To you Ignacio… we, the ladies of The Grey, owe our apologies. In a rift many years ago, we took your mind; in a rift for Lisa’s mission, you gained it back. We apologize for the years of suffering and inconvenience to your loved ones.” She blinked several times watching. Iggy intently nodded and an inhaler was put to his lips. His body fell to the floor with open eyes that were watching Lisa until the very last second.
“Phew…two down…that was easy peasy. Two more to go. Where’s the old lady? Bring her out here, she’s hiding in the hallway. Vente chicka.” Two mothers had
Maggie by the arms and brought her in. They dragged Lisa up from the floor and put the two woman face to face.
“Gonna say adios to your amiga?” Lisa noticed that this was the first time she had seen Maggie without makeup on. Then, she realized she had no makeup in the apartment and Maggie hadn’t had any on since she had gotten there. She knew that Maggie would want makeup in the end, and she should’ve had it here for her. She was a failure in every way. Lisa had failed her mission. She had failed her marks, and she had failed to give Maggie some dignity in the end. Lisa bowed her head low, crying over her inadequacy.
With that, Maggie grabbed an inhaler from a Mothers hand and put it to her own mouth, breathing in. She fell over and let the inhaler fall with her. In the end, she wanted to be the one to take her life, not them. Maggie knew where she belonged.
“Nifty…I’ll give it to the old woman, she had some guts. According to her faith, that was a one way pass to Hellsville.” The leader looked at her hands and pretended to count. “Looky, looky… we need one more.” She then pretended to look at an imaginary list. “HMMM… well, well…a little boy. I wonder why he’s not here? Didn’t have it in you to deal with children? Couldn’t muster the courage eh? No worries, we’ll take care of it right now…”
Lisa felt despair, grief, fear, and anger all at the same time. These humans and their dirty emotions. All day everyday there was this pinch in your chest, this tingle in your hands, questions in your head, the beat of a heart, and a wanting of other bodies buried into daily existence. It was cruel. It was a time waster. Stupid day-to-day emotions got in the way of everything.
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