by Amy DeMeritt
“Shit, Lana, I’m sorry.” She bends down, and whispers, “If you change your mind, I’ve got you.”
Lana gives her an appreciative smile, then Asia walks back to her own desk. With a sigh of determination, Lana gets to work.
Asia has been with the company for four years compared to Lana’s six. Lana trained Asia when she was hired and has been like a mentor to her, helping her grow her skills over the years, and she has become a great asset to the team and company. They became friends pretty quickly and grew to trust each other just as much as two people with a secret to die for. Lana knows she can trust Asia to help her with this without anyone finding out, but she needs to do this on her own. She needs to prove to herself that she can still do this and that she still belongs here – something she’s been struggling with for months.
Lana’s love of numbers and solving puzzles started when she was a young girl. When she got to college and was thrown into math unlike anything she knew before, it was like someone was feeding candy to her brain. She landed some great jobs after college, but getting the financial analyst position here at Bit-Cube Tech was like being hired at Disney World as a roller coaster designer. She loved it. It was like she was given her own chunks of land to design and construct new rides and sweet shops.
She has excelled better than any other analyst here and she has received many raises as incentive to stay with the company. But for the past several months, she hasn’t had the same drive or experienced the thrill she used to get. She doesn’t know if she’s having a mid-life crisis or if she has gotten bored, like maybe she’s not being challenged enough anymore.
Even with the time crunch, the assignment Beverly tasked her with is not a difficult one, it’s just time consuming and tedious. The only thrill Lana is experiencing while trying to complete it is the need to prove she can meet the deadline. She doesn’t feel like her brain is being fed candy or that she’s constructing some grand roller coaster. She feels like she’s trying to untie herself from a conveyor belt before she’s loaded into a wood chipper. It’s an unsettling and nauseating feeling, which just confuses her even more about what she wants to do about her job.
When the clock in the bottom right corner of her computer reads 1:47pm and she is staring at the completed project in front of her, she doesn’t feel even the briefest moment of satisfaction. She doesn’t feel accomplished. She doesn’t feel vindicated. She feels empty and exhausted. She attaches the files to a reply email to Beverly, types up a brief summary, and hits send.
“Done.”
Asia pops up from her desk at the quiet declaration from Lana and comes over to sit on her desk.
“You finished?”
“Just before the deadline.”
“That’s great. Do you want to take a break and tell me what the hell is going on with you?”
“Sure. Coffee?”
“Do you have to ask?”
Lana locks her computer and the two of them work their way down to the café to get a fresh cup of coffee. Then they ride the elevator up to the rooftop where there are benches and garden areas for relaxing and making phone calls. They avoid the groups of smokers and find an empty corner to sit down close to the guardrail to look out over the city.
“Spill it. What happened to you today?”
Lana rolls her eyes as she takes a sip of coffee before she begins the tale of her horrible morning. “First, I overslept. I just kept hitting the snooze button and I couldn’t get my ass out of bed. I skipped breakfast and coffee so I could get out the door on time, but there was a freaking delivery truck double-parked on my street, completely blocking me from being able to get out. I searched the whole building looking for the driver and couldn’t find them. I ended up having to call a cab. Then the rain started and the driver slowed to a pace that made me nearly lose my mind. I swear, I think he was trying to drive me mad instead of drive me to work.” Asia releases a small laugh, which makes Lana release a small exasperated laugh at her own horrible misfortune today. “We were two blocks from the office and a bicycle passed us, yet there was no one in front of him. I swear, I thought I was going to explode. Anyway, I decided to just walk the rest of the way.”
“Let me guess, as soon as you got out, the jack-weed took off like he was trying to escape the police.”
“Yes! Then, as if my morning wasn’t bad enough, I turned and stepped right into a sewer drain grate.”
Asia looks down at Lana’s feet and quirks a smile, saying, “That explains the mom flats.” Lana laughs and gently shoves her friend’s shoulder. “What happened next?”
“As ridiculous as my day was going, it only got more ridiculous. I was literally standing right in front of a shoe repair shop.”
Asia chuckles and tilts her head up at the sky, posing the question, “Hey, fella, what are you trying to tell my girl down here?”
“Seriously, I would really like to know too.”
“If I didn’t know you better, I really would think you were making all of this up. Did you tell Beverly this wild story of unbelievable coincidences?”
“I tried to explain, but she didn’t want to hear it.”
“That’s probably a good thing. There is no way she would believe you. What happened next? Wait, let me guess, the love of your life owns the shop and it was love at first sight.”
Lana blushes beet red and raises her eyebrows in answer, which makes Asia throw her head back in laughter.
“Shit, girl. Seriously, did you fall into a pool of angel dust or something? Wait, I’m still real, aren’t I? You didn’t bump your head last night and I’m just a figment of your imagination while you work out some life shit inside your head?”
“Very funny. Anyway, the woman was probably just being nice. I walked in there like a bat out of hell and ready to take names as punishment for how horrible my day was going.”
“You are always so charming when you’re hungry and inconvenienced, so I just can’t imagine you behaving like that.” Asia mocks her with a grin, earning her another playful slap on the arm and a laugh. “So, what does this lady look like?”
“She’s not my normal type, but she’s beautiful in a simple way with a bit of a rough edge. She has short blonde hair, ocean blue eyes, and a great smile.”
“Damn, you’ve got it bad for the shoemaker. Did you kiss her?”
“No!” Asia grins at the look of shock on Lana’s face and pinches her side to tickle her, making her laugh and swat her hand away. “Anyway, she wasn’t undone by my bitchiness and she soothed the beast within me in no time.”
“That is quite an accomplishment. Your inner beast is a nasty piece of work. Lana, you better hold onto this one.”
“Bitch.”
“See, nasty piece of work.”
“Anyway, she made me an offer – I could pay for the services, or…”
“Hold up – let me guess – a quickie in the store room?”
Lana releases a loud embarrassed laugh and shakes her head. “No! Coffee. She wanted me to stay and the look of disappointment when I couldn’t, was just… God, it nearly made me want to just say to hell with this job so I could stay and look at that smile longer. I told her I would call her to arrange for another time.”
“Will you?”
“Yes. Probably. I don’t know.”
“God damn it, Lana. You better call her.”
“You said it yourself, I’m a nasty piece of work. She’s so sweet and nice and funny and… She doesn’t need someone messed up like me.”
“Get the hell over yourself. I don’t know what’s going on with you lately, but your pathetic ass ended up at the shop for a reason. You made a real connection with someone – do you know how damn hard that is? I swear, if I meet one more Derrick, Brian, Mike, or John, I’m going to vomit. What’s this lady’s name, anyway?”
“Elli Voss.”
“Now, that is a name. You better call and I’m going to be on your ass till you do. Just let something good happen to you for a change. You’re not a boxer, so
stop fighting everything in your life.”
Lana slumps against the guardrail to look out over the city and cranes her neck to see if she can see Elli’s shop from here, but of course she can’t.
“I’ll think about it.”
“You might be one of the smartest people I’ve ever known, but you’re a moron if you don’t call. You have guts though – there’s no way I could not call and then go back to pick up my shoes. I’d have to leave them.”
“Maybe I will leave them.”
Lana groans as the quiet pathetic thought slips from her lips and earns her a stinging slap on the arm from Asia.
“Stop being self-destructive. You have plenty going for you – you’re worth being with and anyone would be lucky to have you. You’re pretty and you have a nice shape. I mean, you don’t have much of an ass, but it’s pretty decent for a white girl.”
Lana laughs as her eyes scan down and her head tilts to appraise Asia’s generous round perfect ass in her skirt suit. Asia is part African-American and part Malaysian. She’s a beautiful woman and definitely has a nice curvy figure.
“You know that ass thing is just a myth. There are plenty of white girls with bubble butts and black girls with flat ones.”
“Maybe, but my ass is still better than yours.”
Lana laughs again and nods, saying, “No competition,” before she takes a sip of her coffee.
“How was the ass on your shoemaker?”
Lana’s face splits into a wide grin, making Asia laugh. Lana licks her lips to moisten them, and through a grin, she says, “She has a nice figure. She’s a few inches shorter than I am, a bit thicker – about average, and even with her shapeless carpenter jeans, I took notice.”
“You ‘took notice.’ You’re hilarious. In all seriousness, please stop thinking and just act – just call her, right now.”
Asia starts to walk away, and Lana protests, saying, “Hey, wait, where are you going?”
“Make the call.”
Lana sinks against the guardrail again, feeling abandoned and scolded by her friend. She pulls her cellphone out and does an internet search for the shop’s contact information. The listing comes up quickly and Lana stares at the call button with anxiety and uncertainty paralyzing her.
Chapter Three
After seeing her last customer out the door, Elli pulls the security gate down and locks it, completely sealing off the windows and door from the sidewalk. She closes the door and locks it as she turns the closed sign. She checks her watch then throws a disheartened glance at the phone behind the counter. Before she can allow sullenness to make her sulk, she pulls her apron off and grabs her keys from under the counter. She sets the security alarm at the back-alley entrance and locks up.
Elli turns the key in her compact sedan and carefully makes her way up the alley and out onto the street into rush hour traffic. After fighting her way in and out of rushing cars and pedestrians, she gets on the highway, takes the third exit, and two turns later, she’s parking outside of her parents’ house.
The knob turns in her hand, and her annoyance grows, but she keeps her tone level as she calls out, “Mum, Dad!”
“Is that you, Elli?”
“Aye. Why is the door unlocked?”
Elli walks into the living room and her parents beam at her. Their warm smiles melt her annoyance, and she bends down to kiss her dad’s cheek before walking over to sit next to her mom on the couch. She gives her mom a kiss on her cheek and her mother takes her right hand to hold in both of hers on her lap.
“How is my Buttercup, today?”
“Alright. Have you had dinner yet?”
“I have a brisket and potatoes in the oven. I need to check it soon. But first, tell me about your day.” Elli’s mood sinks again and her mother, Maggie Voss, senses it. She squeezes her daughter’s hand and caresses her cheek. “Why the long face, Buttercup?”
Not wanting to talk about Lana, she tries to deflect the long face question. “It was a typical day for the most part. Had several pairs of shoes brought in, a couple of suits that need to be altered, and a bridal party came in needing alterations for the bride’s gown and bridesmaids’ gowns. That’s going to be a nice sack of pennies when I get them done. You remember Mr. Tilley with those prehistoric boots he brings in once a year to have reconstructed? He came in today and I think those boots are in the worst state yet. He joked that after he passes, he’ll have to bequeath the collection to the Smithsonian.”
Maggie laughs and pats her daughter’s hand, saying, “Sounds like a good day for business. Now, why the long face?”
As always, her mother is too in tune with her emotions and her tactics to avoid a conversation. Maggie Voss has always been insistent on people talking about what is eating at them and not allowing it to fester inside. She firmly believes that the weight of one’s spirit is lessened by speaking freely about everything as often as possible.
“Life is just bittersweet. That’s all.” Maggie runs a hand over Elli’s head and gently tugs on her ear in a familiar sign that indicates she’s waiting for her daughter to continue. “I met someone, someone I thought could become… Well, I don’t think it’s going to work out.”
“Tell us about her.”
“Picture a beautiful business woman type riding a wrecking ball.” Maggie laughs and waits for Elli to continue. “She came into the shop in a right good state – fire in the eyes, venom on the tongue, and limping from her broken heel, which she actually blamed me for because it happened on the drain out front of the shop.”
“Sounds like a real charmer, honey. What do you see in this wrecking ball?”
Elli looks over at her dad, Hudson Voss, and shrugs a shoulder. “She’s pretty and she seemed to take a liking to me, but I guess I was wrong.” Elli explains the encounter to them, and finishes saying, “She said she would call, but she didn’t.”
“You have her number, don’t you?”
“I’m not calling her. The ball is in her court, as Americans say.”
Maggie laughs and kisses Elli on the cheek as she brushes her hand through her daughter’s short hair. “You are an American, Buttercup. Even though you picked up an accent while you lived in Wembley, you’re still American. You miss it, don’t you? Are you sure you want to settle down here?”
“I miss it terribly, but I’m home now. I like the shop and I love being able to see you both whenever I want.”
“We love having you home too, Buttercup. Come on, let’s go check the brisket.”
Maggie gently tugs on Elli’s hand, so she stands up and follows her to the kitchen. Maggie pulls a bottle of red wine from the fridge and offers it to Elli with a corkscrew.
“You open that and I’ll pull the roast out.”
Elli nods and gets to the task while Maggie pulls a covered enamel glazed cast iron pot from the oven. Maggie carefully takes the lid off, then tests the tenderness with a large fork to see if it will easily pull apart.
“Nearly there. How about some girl talk while we make a salad?”
Elli smiles at her mom as she hands her a glass of wine and takes a sip of her own. “What’s on your mind, Mum?”
“Girls.” Elli releases a surprised barking laugh, making Maggie beam with a brilliant smile. “I’m serious, Elli. I worry about you. When is the last time you went on a date, sweetie?”
“Too long. I worry too. I’m getting old. It’s not as easy meeting women at my age, especially a woman who wants the same things I want. I’m trying though. I really am. I honestly was going to shut the shop down today just to have a cup of coffee with a woman. Doesn’t that show I’m trying?”
Her statements and questions are more posed at the universe and any higher being able and willing to hear and answer her pleas for a break in finding love again than they are for her mother’s ears.
“Do you think maybe you came on too strong? Maybe assuming she’d have coffee right at that moment was too aggressive.”
“Aye, perhaps. I was just tr
ying to be strong and spontaneous, something I thought she needed and would appreciate because she seemed like the kind of person who needs a little push to make decisions. Maybe she thought it was creepy and desperate. Oh, Mum, why are women so complicated?”
Maggie smiles kindly at Elli as she wiggles her nose and flicks the bottom of her chin up. “Keep your head up, Buttercup. She has to come back to pick up her shoes, so not all hope is lost. You’ll have a chance at making a second impression. You know what we say – three impressions before you judge a person.”
“Aye, that is our rule, but that doesn’t mean other people have the same rule or care that we feel that way.” Elli sighs in regret and shrugs a shoulder as she takes a sip of wine. “Maybe I should just buy a few cats and resign myself to a quiet solitary life of fixing shoes and sewing clothes.”
Maggie makes a clicking sound with her tongue and flicks Elli squarely on the forehead. “There will be no talk like that. You’re too young to think that way. You’re a beautiful, talented, smart, and funny woman. The right woman is out there. You just have to…”
“I had the right woman. There is no guarantee there’s a second one.”
Elli’s chest tightens with pain, and she refills her wine glass. Maggie studies her daughter’s face while Elli watches the wine swirling in the glass.
“I’m sorry, Buttercup. I miss Isabell too.”
Elli’s eyes sting with tears that threaten to push her over the edge. She gulps back some wine, then turns to the fridge to pull out the ingredients for the salad. They work in silence for several moments while they rinse vegetables and get positioned at two cutting boards to slice and dice everything.
It has been six years since Isabell died in a boating accident, but the memories of their ten-year long relationship are still fresh and causes Elli an enormous amount of pain and grief, as if it was only yesterday that Isabell passed away. They were the definition of soulmates and were madly in love and blissfully happy. When Elli got the call, she collapsed and was bedridden for weeks.
It has taken an enormous amount of love and support from her family to get her back to a mostly normal lifestyle and routine. It took her three years before she would even attempt to talk to another woman in a romantic capacity, but it was not easy. It brought on feelings of guilt and longing. The first few relationships she tried to get into ended quickly because of those emotions. She took another year off to regroup, then was able to hold onto a relationship for just under a year before it ended – the woman decided to get back together with an ex she was still in love with.