by Deja King
When I got home I ran upstairs and locked my bedroom door. I stared up at the skylights trying to figure out how this shit got so fucked up. The stars seemed to be shining extra bright in the dark sky, and I was tempted to make a wish, but little girls from the hood learn early on that it is nothing but a waste of time. I wanted so much more for Aaliyah than I had for myself, but after what happened tonight, hope was leaving my body and hopelessness was taking its place. I got off the bed and went to the bathroom. Standing in front of the mirror, I rubbed my fingers over the scratches Vernika left on my face. They were battle scars I was willing to take for Aaliyah, but I was still no closer to finding her. I wanted to believe that Supreme had better luck inside that house, but my gut told me it wasn't so. Mike was holding all the cards, and the fact that he believed that Aaliyah was his daughter was the only thing that gave me solace. I stripped out of my clothes and took a quick shower, hoping that Supreme would be home by the time I got out. He still hadn't called me, so I had no idea what type of moves he was making. I figured Devon had reached out to him, giving the lowdown on what happened to save his own ass. Supreme would be livid that I hadn't gone home from the jump like he requested. All that and a million more things ran through my mind as I dried myself off, gathered my hair on top of my head, threw on a tank top with matching boy shorts and headed downstairs. To my relief, Supreme was home, apparent by the yelling coming from out of his office. At first I thought someone else was with him, but the door was wide open and all I saw was him screaming on the phone. The harshness from his voice dragged my body closer until his words smacked me in my face. "Aaliyah is my daughter, and not one strand of her hair better be out of place when I get her back, or I will make sure that each time you're on the brink of death, I'll bring you back to life and kill you all over again, you sadistic fuck!" Supreme said, and slammed down the phone. "Tell me that wasn't Mike," I said softly. "Yeah it was that motherfucker. He had the balls to call me on my fuckin' office phone taunting me and shit. That sick bastard even said he was Aaliyah's father, and I was mourning for a child that wasn't even mine." "Why did you have to tell him otherwise?" "Have you bumped your fuckin' head? `Cause you got me confused." "Why couldn't you let him believe Aaliyah is his daugh ter?" "You're officially crazy. What, you smokin' crack? You can't possibly be asking me that dumb-ass question with a straight face." "Are you so fuckin' egotistical that you don't get it? The only reason Aaliyah is still alive is because Mike believes there's a chance she's his daughter." "Are you telling me that you was spoon feeding this bullshit to that nigga, letting him believe that my daughter was his... is that what you're telling me?" Supreme was stomping towards me with his finger pointed towards my forehead. "I would do anything to protect my daughter. I didn't have a choice." "Oh, your daughter. I'm so sick of hearing that fuckin' shit come out of your foul ass mouth. She ain't just your daughter, she's my daughter too, right? Right? Or can't you answer that?" Before I could respond, Supreme had his entire hand spread across my neck and he had me pinned up against the mahogany bookcase that lined the wall. "Supreme, of course Aaliyah is your daughter. I was only trying to protect her." And I was, and now I was trying to protect myself. Supreme knew I was raped by Mike, but I told him I was able to get him off of me before he got off in me. Did Supreme believe me when I said there was only brief penetration, and that it wasn't possible that he emptied his venomous seed in me? I had no idea, but I refused to consider that a baby so sacred to me could be the product of one of Satan's disciples. But I never told Supreme about the night I shared with Nico. At the time, I thought he was dead and I felt completely alone. When Supreme came back to me, I decided that what happened between me and Nico needed to stay in the past. Never did I think I would end up pregnant so soon. I prayed that the child I was carrying belonged to my husband, although I was never a hundred percent sure. The only thing I was sure of was that after losing my first child, I wasn't going to have an abortion and kill the second. I loved Supreme with all my heart, but I loved and wanted the baby inside of me even more, so I was willing to roll the dice and take my chances. "Don't lie to me." "Baby, don't let Mike do this to us. You know Aaliyah is your daughter... she's our daughter." Supreme fixated on my eyes as if the truth was buried somewhere deep within. He wrestled to see if there was any hesitation with my response. I mustered up my sincerest gaze, hoping to Jedi-mind-trick my own husband. "What happened to your face?" he asked, rubbing the scratches, which seemed to snap him out of his outburst. "It's a long story." "I have time." "How about this: If you move your hand from around my throat, I'll tell you what happened." "I'm sorry, I didn't mean to hurt you." Supreme released me from his grip and placed a gentle kiss on my lips. "I know, it's all Mike's fault. He has us both losing our cool. I can't believe he had the nerve to call you." "He probably already got word that we got his man, Donnell." "When you say `got him', does that mean he is dead or alive?" "He's alive. My people have him stashed up in one of my spots. But he ain't telling us shit. I want the nigga dead, but he's our only link to Mike right now. I wanted the chick, Vernika, because it would've probably been easier to break her, but when we came outside she was dead in the middle of the fuckin' street. We had to haul ass out of there because we could hear the police sirens coming." "Did you see any indication that Aaliyah had been there?" "Nope, and we ransacked the joint from top to bottom. But I definitely think that nigga, Donnell knows where the fuck Mike is keeping her. He's riding the shit out hard though. My men beat the shit out of him, but still nothing. I want to know who killed homegirl though. That bullshit can't be no coincidence." "I guess you haven't spoken to Devon yet?" "Nah, my cell went dead and I haven't had a chance to call him. Why, did something happen?" "You know when you asked me about my scratches?" "Oh, I know that motherfucker ain't responsible for that shit!" Supreme was getting cranked up again, and I had to calm him down before he got out of control. "Hell no! Vernika did it." Supreme put his head down and started shaking it from side to side. "Yo, you so fuckin' hard headed. I told you to go home. You murdered that chick?" "No. I had Devon take me to the house. I wanted to see what was going on. We were parked on a side street and I saw Vernika pulling up in her Denali. She must've figured out that something was wrong, because she got out the truck and then turned around and got right back inside. I couldn't let her bounce like that, so I made Devon block her car." "I can't believe you're telling me this shit. We needed her alive." "I know. It wasn't my intention for her to end up dead." "So what the fuck happened?" "She got out of her truck cursing out Devon, and when she got to the car window I got out and we started fighting. I only wanted to beat information about Aaliyah out of her, but then Devon ended up shooting her." "Devon killed her? Why?" "She jumped on top of me and her back was facing his. He thought she was going to use the weapon she had in her back pocket to kill me, so Devon killed her first." "This bullshit was going on while we were sitting up in that fuckin' house? Why didn't you call me when you saw her car pull up? My men could've handled it." "It all happened so fast, I didn't have time to think it out. All I knew was that I couldn't let her leave because she was a link to Aaliyah." "Now that link is dead, and the other link wanna be a soldier and not tell us shit. What a fucked up operation this turned out to be. I'm grateful that Devon saved your life, but I can't believe he murdered that girl. What type of weapon was she packing?" "I think it was a knife, but honestly I don't know. When we first started fighting she was reaching in her back pocket for something, but I didn't give her a chance to let me see what it was. Devon probably panicked and decided to shoot to kill. He probably figured you would be pissed at him for even taking me to the house, and if anything happened to me you would have him dealt with. So don't be too hard on him. Honestly, I'm glad he was there." "He's still going to be dealt with. If he had followed my instructions and brought you home none of this would've went down." "Supreme, it wasn't his fault. I didn't give him a choice. It was basically either you take me or I'll find another way." "If it's that difficult for
him, then he don't need to be driving you around. I'll find a more suitable duty for him to tend to. Damn, Precious, this shit is out of control." Supreme fell back on the coffee-brown leather couch and put his hands behind his neck. My eyes darted over to a picture of me, him and Aaliyah that was placed on top of his desk. The smile on his face was in complete contrast to the conquered frown on his face right now. I walked over and sat down next to him on the couch. I put my hand on his upper leg and his body felt so tense. "Baby, I'm sorry I didn't listen to you. I'm sorry for many things. I know things are out of control right now, but we will get our daughter back." "I want to believe that too, but shit keeps falling apart. Every time I think we're making gain, we end up having to take a leap back." "I know what you mean. But we have to keep the faith. You know I'm not the one to call on God and be the religious type, but times like this I think it's the only way you can cope. Ms. Duncan, the lady who used to babysit me when I was a little girl, would always say if God takes you to it, He'll take you through it. Back then those words were idle chatter, but at this moment they mean so much more." "I hear you, Precious," Supreme said, standing up. "But when you're dealing with scum like Pretty Boy Mike, the only way to get through it is with ammunition. The way Ms. Duncan schooled you, my pops spit his knowledge to me, and he said it's better to be judged by twelve then carried by six. This right here comes down to Mike's life, or me and my family's life. I rather be facing time for ending his life than take a chance on it being the other way around." "I feel you on that and you know I'm down for whatever, but..." I stopped mid-sentence as our conversation came to a halt by a knock on the door. "Sorry, to interrupt boss, but Clip is here." "Send him back." "What is Clip doing here?" "I told him to come over." "You found out something? Is he involved?" I stood up ready to jump on Clip when he came swaggering through the door. "Chill, sit back down and let me handle this." "Supreme, what's up, my man?" Clip said giving Supreme a handshake. "Precious," he nodded his head shyly, knowing I wasn't fucking with him because of that Destiny shit. He had no clue I was also suspecting he was being a soldier boy for Mike. "Maintaining," Supreme countered. "I've been trying to get in touch with you. I was starting to think you had pushed my album back or was dropping me from the label." He tried to joke but you could hear the panic. "Why would I do that?" Clip then slanted his eyes in my direction trying to get my vibe, but I gave him no rhythm. "Well, I'm sure you heard about what went down with me and Maya a few days ago. It was a huge misunderstanding, but I know she's close to your family." "Yeah she is, but so are you." "I appreciate that, because you like a brother to me." "You're like a brother to me too, that's why I wanted to include you in on what's going down right now. But of course this has to stay between us." "No doubt. It won't leave this room." "I think we might have made some headway with getting Aaliyah back." "Word? That's what's up! The police got a suspect?" "Yeah, it's Mike." "Oh shit, he did take Aaliyah! We all heard he escaped from jail, but I was hoping he didn't go out like that. I can't believe that motherfucker would kidnap a child. Un-fuckin' believable," Clip's voice trailed off. "So, what's the cops' next move?" "I'm not sitting around waiting on their next move. I'm making my own moves." "I know that's right. If it was my seed I'd be doing the exact same shit. You need me to help you out in any way?" "I know you used to do some shit for Mike in the drug game. Did he ever mention a dude by the name of Donnell Graham?" Clip stood quiet for a few moments as if pondering hard over Supreme's question. "Nope, that name don't sound familiar. Does he go by a nickname?" "If so, I don't know it." "Why, what that kid got to do with anything?" "He's the one that helped Mike break out ofjail, and I also believe he assisted with the kidnapping of my daughter." "Why you think that?" "`Cause they were locked up together until Donnell got released a few months ago." "That would make sense. So you got any leads on how to track this Donnell cat down? From what you saying, he seems to be that link you need." "As a matter of fact, I got my people holding him now." "Word? You got dude on lock?" "Yeah, but he ain't cooperating. I was hoping that if you knew anything about him I could use the information against him. You know, like if you knew where his family or kids laid their heads at. You know something to motivate him to start singing about Mike." "I wish I could help you, but dude's name don't sound familiar." "You know that apartment I got over there in West Hollywood that I sometimes let artist stay at?" "Yeah, yeah, yeah, I've been to that spot a few times." "Well, that's where I got Donnell stashed out. I got a couple of men over there watching him. I'ma keep him on lock for a few more days hoping he'll crack. I know you still got connects in the drug game, so I would appreciate if you could make some calls and see if you can come up with anything on that nigga." "I'm on it. Whatever you need, you my brother, and anybody that would kidnap a baby belong in a jail cell or six feet under. So if I can help bring that nigga, Mike down, then so be it." Clip was putting on his best "I'm down for the cause" voice. Looking at that pretty motherfucker made me have a throwback Christopher Williams moment, only an updated new millennium version. "I thought it was your voice I heard. What are you doing here?" Maya questioned, catching us all off guard as she pushed her way through the door. She stood with her arms crossed, giving Clip the head-to-toe stare down. "Maya, I came to speak to Supreme, that's all," Clip explained, looking uncomfortable. "Speak to Supreme about what?" "That's between me and Supreme, no disrespect." "I already told Supreme about that foul ass shit you did with Destiny, so you late." "That's not what I was discussing with him, and if you would pick up the phone and talk to me, you'd know that nothing happened between me and Destiny." "First of all, you have called me once in the last, what, four or five days? And furthermore, I can't believe you still rolling with that same whack-ass story." "Look, I'm not about to get into this with you in front of Supreme and Precious. They have real problems," Clip said emphatically. "This shit you beefing about is petty." "Petty? Would this shit be petty to you if you had came home and found me butt-ass naked in bed with another nigga? Nah, so don't stand there and say this shit is petty. Yo' monkey ass is petty." "Supreme, Precious, I'm sorry the two of you have to be caught in the middle of this. If I find out anything I'll let you, but, umm, I need to be going." Clip had embarrassed stamped on his face. "Don't apologize to them, you was just telling Supreme that he was like a brother to you. Well, that's what family do, get in the middle of bullshit." "It's not a problem, Clip," Supreme said. "Thanks, but I'll definitely look into that for you. And of course I'm keeping Aaliyah in my prayers." Maya continued to frown up her face as Clip brushed past her to leave. With her frustration getting the best of her, she turned around to catch up with Clip before he left. "That was an interesting performance. Now clue me in on what it was about," I said to Supreme. I knew there had to be a reasonable explanation for all that schmoozing he did with Clip. "I still don't believe Clip is helping Mike, but if I'm wrong, this will prove it once and for all." "How is that?" "Mike knows that I have Donnell and he's gonna want to cut him loose. If Clip thinks he knows where Donnell is, then he'll tell Mike, and of course they'll come looking for him." "Do you really want to take that chance of them actually being able to get to Donnell?" "I'm not crazy. I didn't give Clip the right location. If some people run up on that apartment in West Hollywood, they won't find Donnell and I'll know the only person responsible for leaking the information is Clip." "That's true." "Not only do I have a lot of money invested in Clip, I also got a lot of love for him. I'm praying that when he said I'm like a brother to him he meant that shit. But I don't have time to waste. I need to know now if he's loyal." "Hipping him to the Donnell shit was a good look. If he is in cahoots with Mike, then this setup will let us know. But, um, dealing with all this bullshit today has made me tired. I'm calling it a night." "Yeah, fighting in the street will do that to you." "Funny. Are you coming up?" "I have some calls to make. I'll be up when I'm done." "Okay." I walked over and gave Supreme a kiss goodnight and headed upstairs. I knocked on Maya's bedroom door before going to my room, but she wasn't there. I figu
red she must be outside having it out with Clip. That's what your first love will have you doingtrying to fix some shit that you know is fucking broke. When I got to my room, I checked my cell phone and saw that Ricky had called a few times. I hit him right back, anxious to hear what was up. "You hard to reach," Ricky said, answering his phone. "Sorry `bout that. I had a crazy night." "Well, it's about to get crazier." "What you mean?" "I took your word when you said that you didn't want to bring Nico any harm." "It's the truth. I put that on everything." "So that means you have no idea nor are you playing any part in what your husband is up to?" There was a long period of silence on the line before Ricky proceeded. "I need you to be straight up with me, Precious, if you want me to continue to help you out." "Earlier today I did come across some photos of Nico in Supreme's office. It looked as if they were taken by a private investigator. It got me a little worried, like maybe Nico could be in trouble. I wanted to get in touch with him, you know, give him a warning. But then I could've been jumping the gun and making something out of nothing." "No, your first instinct to think there was trouble is correct. It hasn't spread through the streets because Supreme is doing an excellent job of keeping the information on the low, but a reliable source told me that your husband wants Nico dead." "What? Why?" "I was hoping you could tell me." "Does Nico know?" "I doubt it. Word is, it was supposed to happen a couple of weeks ago, but when your daughter got kidnapped Supreme put on the brakes, but told his people to keep close tabs on Nico." "Do you know where Nico is?" "He's supposed to be in Chicago, but from what I understand he'll be in New York tomorrow." "For how long?" "I'm not sure. But I'm hearing that he comes to New York often. It's just that he keeps a real low profile. Only a few people know when he stops through." "I'll be there tomorrow." The words flowed out my mouth so fast I didn't give myself time to think about how I would make it happen, but I just knew I would. "Is there anyway you can follow Nico so when I get there you can take me right to him?" "I'm already on it." "Good, because I'm coming in and flying right back out. Do you know what time he's arriving?" "They say he's taking a flight from Chicago first thing in the morning, arriving at JFK." "Alright, so I'll be there early afternoon. I'll call you when I arrive." "I'll talk to you then." When I hung up with Ricky, my stomach was doing somersaults. I couldn't believe Supreme was plotting Nico's murder, or why. Was it payback for him shooting me? I was so over that, but maybe Supreme wasn't. Or did Supreme find out that I slept with Nico when I thought he was dead? But I didn't tell anybody about that night. Whatever the reason was, as much as I loved Supreme, I couldn't let him kill Nico-period. I got back on the phone and made a flight reservation for the first thing smoking in the morning. A six-forty-five a.m. flight was the earliest one available and I took it. While I thought about the excuse I would give Supreme for having to leave so early in the morning and then not coming back home until the middle of the night, I began on my search through Vernika's purse. She had some tampons, lotion, lipstick and other random bullshit that females keep in their possession. I wasn't coming across anything worth my while. As I was about to go through her wallet, I almost fell off the bed when Supreme caught me off guard, "Hey, baby, you startled me. I thought you were going to be downstairs for a minute making phone calls." "Me too, but some shit can't be handled on the phone." "What's wrong?" "I have to go to the studio. They having some major problems I have to iron out." "You're going over there now?' "No because the engineer has another session that he has to wrap up. I'm tired as hell, so I'ma lay down for a couple of hours and get some rest, then head over because I know we won't get done until the sun come up." While Supreme took off his clothes, I discreetly tossed Vernika's purse under the bed. I doubted seriously that I would find any relevant information in her purse, but I didn't want to share with Supreme until I knew for sure. "Oh, baby, I was checking my messages and I totally forgot that Ms. Duncan had told me she would be coming to LA tomorrow." "Who?" "Ms. Duncan. You remember, the lady I told you about who used to babysit me when I was a little girl. She's basically the only family I have. She put my mother's funeral together for me." "Oh yeah, I think I do remember you mentioning her a few times. Why is she coming to LA?" "They're having some huge church seminar here and she's attending. She's very religious. When I told her about Aaliyah, she suggested I join her. It slipped my mind until I listened to her message and she gave me her flight information." "You're going to the church seminar with her?" Supreme asked, not hiding his surprise. "I know that's not really my thing, but I think it'll be good for me, you know, with everything going on." "That's cool. I think you should go. What time do you have to pick her up from the airport? I'll have one of the security men take you and stay with you at the seminar." "Baby, please don't have me take security." "What are talking about? You need security." "I'm going to church, Supreme. I'll be safe there. Plus, Ms. Duncan is older. Having security with us might give the poor woman a heart attack. I promise I'll call you frequently so you'll know I'm safe." "You better." "I will, but only if you hold me until I fall asleep," I whispered in his ear "Oh, I was doing that anyway." I laid my head on Supreme's chest and wrapped my legs between his legs. My body felt so safe with his muscular arms cradling me. I did love my husband, but I didn't trust him, and I had a feeling that he didn't trust me either. FIRST LOVE