by G. R. Lyons
Zevic looked from the doctor to the Elders and back when Dr. Graeden fell silent, and saw the old men sharing looks and scrutinizing him.
The chairman finally spoke up: “Pull four officers from the Eagle guard. Have them report each day to escort Dr. Graeden and his fellows to and from the hospital, and stand guard at their doors at night. Under no circumstances are they to leave their apartments for any reason but to go to their assigned work.”
“What?” the doctor shouted.
“Until such time as your expedition here is over,” the chairman continued, leaning forward and glaring at the doctor, “you will obey every law or suffer the consequences.”
“Then let us go home now,” Dr. Graeden snapped. “Clearly, you don't want us here.”
“You will finish out your time here, and you will leave when we say you can,” the chairman insisted. “Now, be gone.”
Dr. Graeden threw down the empty sack next to the foot and stormed out of the room. Zevic turned to follow him, but stopped at the sound of the chairman's voice.
Zevic? Be a good lad and remove that thing from Our presence.
Zevic turned, eyeing the foot with disgust, and gingerly bent to pluck up the sack and drape it around the foot, holding it out at arm's length as he bowed his head and hurried out of the room, muttering imprecations about the Agori doctors all the way home.
* * *
GRAEDEN WALKED into his apartment and found Zhadeyn pacing rapidly while tears streamed down her face. She cowered back at the sound of the door shutting, then saw him and let out a cry as she threw herself at him.
“Graeden!” she cried, grabbing his head and kissing everywhere she could reach. “Gods, I was so worried!”
“I'm alright,” he insisted, hugging her tight and then taking a step back. “I'm sorry, I'm a mess–”
Shaking her head, she grabbed him by the coat and pulled him close again, kissing him firmly on the mouth.
“Gods, I thought you'd died, or…or…Oh, gods, I don't even know. Where have you been? Zevic's been asking for you every day, and your friends were worried, and–”
“Deyn, honey, please,” he sighed, holding up a hand. She sucked in a breath and held it, letting him go and trembling before him. “I'm sorry. I'll tell you everything, I promise, but right now I need a very hot shower and some very fresh food. A lot of food.”
“Of course,” she said, nodding rapidly, hurrying ahead of him to start the water while he got undressed, and laid out fresh clothes for him before taking away the filthy ones he'd been in for the past four days.
Graeden scrubbed himself raw, trying not to think of the rotting stench of the pit, then got out and brushed his teeth twice before quickly running a razor over his chin. Feeling a little more alive, he padded out to the kitchen and found a hot meal waiting for him on the table.
“Thank you,” he murmured, giving Zhadeyn a deep kiss before he sat down and dug in.
He shoveled in several mouthfuls of food, groaning and sighing with relief, while Zhadeyn hovered quietly in the background.
Then his imagination took over.
He saw the pit of bodies, and tried to push the memory away, only to have it rise up stronger, placing Zhadeyn's body in the midst of rotting flesh. Graeden shivered and tried to think of something else, but then Zhadeyn disappeared, and in her place was Lorel, bloody and naked and walking calmly across the dead with a knife in her hand.
Graeden dropped his fork and started to get up to run to the washroom, but Zhadeyn stopped him, hugging his head to her chest and pressing a hand to his belly.
He cringed and gasped and tried to get away for a moment, but then felt the nausea slowly fade and the images get pushed from his mind.
She pulled back with a gasp and cowered away.
“I'm sorry,” she whispered, wringing her hands. “I'm not supposed to do that, but…”
Looking down at the floor and taking a few slow breaths, Graeden held out a hand for her and pulled her onto his lap.
“You were projecting,” she went on in a shaky whisper. “I'm sorry, I just…You were hurting and…”
“Deyn, it's alright,” he whispered back and straightened up to look at her. “Thank y–”
Graeden blinked, finally looking at her fully for the first time since he'd returned, and saw a fading bruise on her face.
She gasped and turned away, but he caught her by the chin and turned her back to face him.
“Who did this to you?” he asked, and she shook her head rapidly. “This wasn't a fall. Someone hit you. Who did this to you?” When she still didn't answer, he asked, “The last one wasn't a fall either, was it?”
Zhadeyn took a shaky breath and whispered, “Zevic.”
Graeden pushed her off his lap and stormed toward the door.
“No!” she cried, grabbing his arm. “No, Graeden, please, don't go! Don't leave again!”
He turned around and held her while she clung tightly to him.
“Please don't leave,” she whispered.
“I'm going to kill him,” Graeden fumed. “Why did he do this?”
Zhadeyn pulled back and looked down at his chest as she said, “Because I couldn't tell him where you'd gone.”
Graeden fell back a step, and then another, mouth agape as he looked at her.
“Gods,” he breathed. “I did this to you. I should have told you…”
“No!” she cried, throwing herself at him again. “No, no. If I'd known where you'd gone, it would have been worse. Trust me. Much worse.”
Graeden held her, wondering if he'd ever be able to stop causing pain to the people he loved.
“Please don't go,” she whispered. “Come. Please. Sit. You need to eat.”
Graeden shook his head. “I've lost my appetite. I'm sorry. You did all this…”
“I'll save it. It's fine.” She loosened her arms around his neck and kissed him. “Then come to bed.”
“Let me look at this first–” he began, reaching for her chin.
Zhadeyn yanked her wrap off her shoulder and moved his hand from her chin to her breast.
“Come to bed.”
She wrapped her legs around him as Graeden lifted her off the floor to carry her back to the bedroom, and for a few hours he managed to forget all of his earthly horrors.
Chapter 25
GRAEDEN STEPPED out of the apartment the next morning, only to find an armed guard standing ready just outside the door. He narrowed his eyes but didn't say anything, and more felt than saw the man fall in behind him as he made his way to the hospital.
“I'm sorry,” Graeden whispered to his friends when they all arrived within moments of one another, the armed guards remaining at the door while the doctors went inside. “It's my fault–”
“Damned right it is,” Jase growled.
They were silent until they reached their assigned room, and while it was still otherwise unoccupied, Jase turned on Graeden and asked, “So where in seven hells were you, Grae? What'd you do this time?”
Graeden glanced around to make sure they were alone, then they all bent their heads together while he whispered a brief recital of his journey.
“Oh,” Jase said, wide-eyed. “Shit.”
“I'm going to be sick,” Quinn added.
“That's just fifty-seven kinds of wrong,” Leni groaned, shaking his head and clutching his stomach.
Someone passed by the door, and the group broke up in a hurry, but no one came in.
“Speaking of numbers, Len?” Jase asked.
“Thirty-eight,” Leni answered immediately.
The others looked at one another, and Graeden could tell they were all thinking the same thing: The smaller the number got, the bigger it felt.
Jase took a deep breath and nodded. “Right, then.”
Without another word, the doctors turned to their work, and did everything they could to follow procedures to the letter.
* * *
FOR THE next two weeks, Graeden came home
each night to find Zhadeyn pacing anxiously, hugging him with relief at his return. Eventually, her worry began to ease slightly, but they still kept alert, conversing mentally so as not to let the guard outside overhear, and making extra effort to obey the laws and not come under further scrutiny.
More weeks passed, one day disappearing into the next as identical routine followed identical routine. Every morning, Graeden and the others were escorted to the hospital by armed guards, and every evening they were escorted home, their doors blocked throughout the night, only to repeat it all the next day. The only changes they knew to differentiate one day from another were the different patients they saw and the slow but persistent countdown that Leni whispered to them each morning.
Graeden kept his eyes and ears open, waiting for Zevic to strike, but the bureaucrat mostly left them alone, and no more was said about Graeden's unauthorized journey north.
The silence worried him more than anything.
“He's planning something,” Graeden muttered under his breath. Jase gave him a questioning look, so he clarified, “Zevic. I keep waiting for something to happen.”
Jase nodded. “I know what you mean. It's freaking me out that he never hovers around here anymore.”
“Stay alert,” Quinn warned, and Leni nodded agreement as they continued on with their work, holding their tongues every time they ran up against a regulation, and doing what little they could for their patients without going outside the law.
Finally, blessedly, their last working day came to an end. Graeden went home to his apartment while his friends went to theirs to start packing, though Graeden found half his work already done for him by the time he walked in the door.
His suitcases lay open on the bed, all his clothes in neat piles around them. Zhadeyn already had her few skirts and wraps rolled up and tucked into a small sack, and Graeden made quick work of stuffing his suitcases, making sure his medical kit and his grandfather's hospital file were both safely strapped in before squeezing in his clothes, leaving out one set to wear home the next day.
When they were finished, Graeden and Zhadeyn looked at one another in silence.
“It'll be alright,” he told her, reaching for her hand. “Tomorrow, we'll be on free land.”
“Gods, I hope so,” she murmured, curling in against him, going very still and stiff in his arms.
“Hey, what's wrong?”
She shook her head. “I just keep worrying something's going to happen tomorrow.”
“I don't know. They made it pretty clear in their letter that they didn't want us overstaying our welcome. I'm sure everything will be fine.”
Zhadeyn was silent for a moment, then whispered again, “Gods, I hope so.”
* * *
AFTER DINNER and a shower, Graeden lay in bed with his wife in his arms, staring up at the ceiling in the dark, too eager about going home to fall asleep.
“Agoran will be a bit of a shock to you,” he whispered.
She nodded. “I'll be alright. It'll be worth it.” She lifted up on one elbow and looked down at him. “Are you ready to go back?”
He nodded, knowing exactly what she meant. “It'll be hard, and there will probably be all sorts of drama, but it has to be done. I have to go on with my life. Start over now that things have changed.”
“I think your family will understand.”
“Will they?” Graeden asked, snorting a laugh. “I'm not so sure. Keeping a secret like that for five years…and especially now that Lorel's gone…”
“From what you've told me about them,” Zhadeyn began, lacing her fingers through his, “it sounds like they all have very open, accepting minds–”
“Unlike me,” Graeden cut in.
Zhadeyn shrugged, not quite conceding the point. “I think, once you explain it all to them, they'll understand.”
“Hmmm.” He kissed the back of her hand and settled her head on his shoulder. “But then you…I'm sure they'll be shocked about you. I think my mother had pretty much given up hope of ever seeing me settle down. Of course, if I'd only told her about…”
“Graeden, stop,” she murmured, turning his head toward her and kissing him. “It'll be fine.”
He took a deep breath and nodded, then smiled at her. “At least she'll be excited about grandchildren,” he said, resting a hand on her belly.
Zhadeyn's eyes went wide as she sat up. “How did you know?”
“You've only had one mooncycle since we married. I'm just wondering why you never told me.”
She frowned and looked away. “I was worried it would upset you, because of what happened before.”
“No,” he laughed. “No, with you, I'm not worried at all, oddly enough. Though I will say, just as soon as we get to Agoran, I want to put a scanner on you to make sure everything is progressing well.”
“A what?”
“A scanner– Never mind. You'll see. Come here. Come lie down.”
Zhadeyn rested her head on his shoulder again and grabbed his hand, pressing it to her belly.
“Do you want to see?” she asked.
He turned his head to look at her. “Is that possible?”
Zhadeyn nodded and closed her eyes, opening her mind to him. Graeden followed her inside, down through her body, and they stopped at her womb, able to see a healthy, well-formed fetus nestled inside.
Gods, that's incredible, Graeden said, inwardly gaping. I just…Wow. That's better than any scanner. Gods. Amazing!
He felt Zhadeyn's inward smile, and after a lingering moment, admiring his growing child, Graeden pulled back from Zhadeyn's mind and looked at her in awe.
“Thank you,” he whispered. “Gods, I never thought such a thing was possible. Do you have any idea what kind of discoveries we could make with your abilities? The breakthroughs we could have in studying the body? I just…”
“What?” she asked when he trailed off.
He shook his head. “I'm getting ahead of myself. I can't ask you to be a lab rat. It wouldn't be right.”
“A what?”
Graeden laughed. “Meaning I can't subject you to studies and lab trials. I can't just use you like that.”
Zhadeyn looked at him with a soft smile on her face. “Use me,” she said. “Make me useful. Tell me what I can do to help you.”
Graeden looked at her, thinking, and asked, “Are you sure?”
“I'll have to do something once I'm there, right? I can't just live off of you. I want to do something useful. At least, until the baby comes. I'd like to help you in your work, especially if it'll help other people someday.”
Graeden kissed her hand again and shook his head. “You are a wonder, you know that?”
Zhadeyn smiled shyly and ducked her head. Graeden hugged her tight and closed his eyes, trying to will himself to sleep so that the next day would come sooner.
So that he could finally go home.
* * *
GRAEDEN HELD Zhadeyn's hand while they each carried one of his suitcases on the way to the Council chambers. Their designated guard followed them the whole way, joining his fellows as they met Jase and the other doctors a few blocks away, the whole group walking silently through town and climbing the steps to the capitol building. Graeden shared a look with Jase as they stepped inside, their footsteps echoing throughout the chamber as they approached the starglass Gate, coming to a stop when Zevic, the Elders, and several officers arranged themselves before the portal.
The chairman gestured at one of the officers, who produced Jase's pocket knife, Leni's pistol, and Quinn's tablet. Rather than handing them back to their owners, the guard tossed the objects through the Gate. The doctors stayed silent, keeping their faces carefully blank as the Elders and officers stepped aside and left the Gate exposed.
Quinn went through first, walking slowly and stiffly toward the portal until he vanished from sight. Leni was next, and Graeden saw him glance carefully over his shoulder as he practically threw himself through. Jase approached the Gate, and Graeden led
Zhadeyn behind him, but two officers stepped forward and blocked their way, separating them from Jase.
“You won't be needing these,” one of the guards said as they ripped Graeden's suitcases out of their hands and hurled them through the Gate.
“Grae?” Jase started to complain, walking toward them, but he came up short as one of the officers leveled a gun at him. “What in seven hells is going on?”
Zevic strode over and stood in front of Graeden, looking at him while he answered Jase's question.
“You have married one of our women,” the bureaucrat noted. “Therefore, you now belong to us.”
“What?” Jase shouted. “No! Grae!”
“Silence!” Zevic spat over his shoulder, and Jase backed up a step toward the Gate as the officer closed in on him.
“Grae?”
“Go on, Jase,” Graeden told him, trying to keep calm. “Get out of here.”
“But–”
“I said go!”
Jase almost dropped his bag, staring at Graeden and Zhadeyn, then back at the gun pointed at his chest.
“Just…tell my family I'll be a little late getting home, is all,” Graeden said, trying to force on a smile for his friend's sake. “Go on. We'll see you soon.”
Jase looked inclined to argue, but with a dozen armed men around them, there was nothing he could do.
“You'd better,” Jase growled, and stumbled backward through the Gate as the officer closed in.
The officers arranged themselves in front of the Gate again, guns ready, and glared at Graeden and Zhadeyn. The Elders were silent, with smug looks on their faces, and Zevic was positively sneering at them.
“We'll be sending someone over to have you fitted for uniforms,” the bureaucrat announced, looking down his nose at Graeden. “You are now a citizen of Tanas. I suggest you start acting like it.”
Graeden glared back at Zevic until the man flinched and looked away, then turned without a word and led Zhadeyn back out of the building.
Graeden…
It's alright, he said, keeping his eyes forward. Just keep walking.