by Nikita Singh
Akriti was shaking her head, utter disbelief etched across her face. ‘How dare you drag my dad into this? I can’t believe this …’
Siddhant’s eyes didn’t leave Akriti, but his ears burned, knowing everybody was watching, feeling their eyes on them.
A few months ago, Siddhant would’ve immediately been reduced to an apologizing mess, accepting all the accusations levelled against him. But this time, even if he discounted her behaviour because of her immense loss, he couldn’t think of one reason why her outburst towards him was valid. She was publicly shaming him for trying to help her, and he was in no mood to simply stand there and take it. He couldn’t allow her to treat him like that. Not anymore.
‘That’s enough,’ he said. He spoke calmly, maintaining his composure. ‘I’m leaving. You should come with me.’
‘What the fuck does that mean?’ Akriti snapped. ‘You can’t just go. I’m talking to you!’
‘You’re not talking to me. You’re yelling at me. I’m leaving.’
Siddhant turned to Priyesh, who seemed to have returned to normal now, and they walked towards the house.
‘Where are you going?’ Akriti screamed after them, her voice breaking.
They kept walking. The crowd around them parted easily. No one at the party was focussing on anything else anymore. They were all watching Siddhant and Akriti.
‘You can’t just leave me here!!’
Siddhant halted, and looked over his shoulder at her. ‘Then come with us. Come home.’
‘No! I don’t want to! You can’t make me!’
Her voice was so loud, so frantic, that Siddhant could feel everyone around them get suspicious. By the way things looked, he wouldn’t be surprised if they suspected that he was mistreating her.
Siddhant started to turn back to her, but Priyesh held his arm. ‘We have to leave, dude,’ Priyesh muttered. ‘You’re not doing yourself any favours by letting this go on longer. They probably think you beat her or something.’
‘This is crazy … You know I …’ Siddhant couldn’t find words.
‘Trust me, I know, but they don’t. Let’s just go.’
Siddhant didn’t need further persuasion. He followed Priyesh out. Akriti was with Prachi and the rest of her friends. She would be fine. Just this once, he didn’t have to be the only person responsible of taking care of her. And yet, as he walked through the restless crowd, he felt guilty for leaving her there.
How many times had he read about depression? How many times had he told himself that she was only lashing out on him because she was in a bad place and didn’t know what to do? That she wasn’t herself when she had episodes like this out of the blue? Yet now, when she was drunk and distressed, he was really going to give up on her and leave her there? Hadn’t he promised himself that he would be there for her? So now when she was clearly in a crisis, he was just going to wash his hands off her and walk away?
He paused. ‘Priyesh, stop,’ he said.
‘What’s up?’ Priyesh said, turning around. ‘We have to go.’
‘Not without her. I have to go get her. She’s not okay. She needs—’
‘Coward!’ Screaming, Akriti caught up with them at the front steps of the house. She’d come around the house from the lawn, limping. She was clutching one of her sandals in her hand. Waving it in the air, she shouted, ‘You’re a coward. Such a coward.’
‘Let’s go!’ Priyesh took Siddhant’s arm and dragged him to the main gate. Several of the guests from inside the house had followed them out. ‘If we stay here any longer, we’re going to get beaten up by the mob.’
Siddhant didn’t doubt that. He could hear snippets of conversation behind him, and sense the general anger of the guests – they thought he was abusive or that he had done something terrible to her. How had the night turned in this direction? Siddhant tried to understand the turn of events, but came up short.
He allowed himself to be dragged out of the main gate by Priyesh. No, he wasn’t doing anything wrong by leaving her behind. She would be safe with her friends. He was not a coward for trying to protect his self-respect, regardless of what she shouted behind him as they left.
They sprinted towards their cars, but when Siddhant reached his, he realized that Akriti had the keys. She’d kept them in her purse before they entered the party. Turning around, he saw the same realization dawn on Akriti’s face. She walked over to them, looking crazed, like she had no control over her own thoughts and actions, but was driven by some unknown force.
‘Ha!’ she laughed mockingly. ‘That’s what you get for trying to run away from me! You were just gonna leave me alone here, drunk, at a party? What kind of a boyfriend does that?’
‘Sid, come with me. We’ll take my car,’ Priyesh said urgently.
Even though Siddhant knew there was no point trying to reason with her, he said, ‘I didn’t get you drunk. And you’re not alone – all your friends are—’
‘Right! How convenient. So that gives you the permission to just kick me to the curb?’
‘Sid, just get in the car,’ Priyesh insisted.
‘But you’ve never been a real boyfriend, have you? Or even a real boy for that matter. Why can’t you touch me?! What are you hiding in those pants that you can’t show me?’ Akriti said.
Siddhant was shocked. Her outbursts were nothing new to him, but he had never imagined she would stoop to this level of pettiness.
The honest answer to why they were not physically involved with each other was that he was in love with someone else. But even if Maahi hadn’t existed, the relationship between Siddhant and Akriti was more like that of a nurse and his patient. There was nothing romantic about it. Touching her felt wrong, as if he was taking advantage of her when she was vulnerable. He could never think about her romantically because he felt … imprisoned by her.
‘You call yourself a man?’ Akriti challenged. Standing there, holding his car keys in one hand and her sandal in another, yellow under the street lights, slurring her words, stumbling on uneven feet – she looked like she’d lost her mind.
He couldn’t leave her there.
‘Siddhant, we have to leave now,’ Priyesh begged.
‘I have to get her,’ Siddhant muttered, and walked back to her. ‘Just come with us, okay? We’ll go home, and we’ll sort this out?’ he pleaded with her. He reached for her hand, because she looked like she was about to topple over, but she slapped it away.
‘Don’t touch me!’ she screamed frantically, as if he’d done something terrible to her.
Siddhant backed off, raising his hands in surrender. This wasn’t her. She wasn’t in her senses. She needed help. He was failing. ‘Tell me what to do, please,’ he begged. ‘What do you need? Tell me how I can help you.’
‘I don’t need your fucking pity. Who the fuck do you think you are?’
‘Akriti, please, tell me what you need me to do—’
‘Back the fuck off. I don’t need you. I’m leaving!’
And with that, she marched to his car and let herself in. By the time Siddhant rushed to the door, she’d locked herself in. She started the car, and yelled, ‘Get the fuck out of my way!’
‘No! Akriti, this is insane!’ Siddhant said, crouching by the window, panic settling like lead at the pit of his stomach. ‘You can’t drive like this! You’re in no state to drive. Akriti, please …’
‘Get out of my fucking way!’ she screamed, her eyes flitting from one thing to another, as if she wasn’t sure of what was happening around her. Her body was there, but her mind wasn’t. Siddhant thumped on her window to try and snap her out of it, but it only made her madder. ‘Just leave me alone!’
‘Akriti! Akriti, please! Listen to me – we can work this out. We can talk about this. You’ll be okay, just please get out of the car!’ Siddhant said frantically.
‘NO!’
‘Please, Akriti, you can’t drive like this. You’ll hurt yourself! Please, listen to me …’ But as he spoke, the car revved up, and
he felt his heart drop. ‘No, don’t do this, Akriti, NO!’
She reversed, hit the car behind her, swerved, and in the next second, she’d sped off.
‘Akriti, no! Come back,’ Siddhant yelled after her, but it was too late.
‘What the actual fuck!’ Priyesh threw his hands in the air as he watched the car screech away.
‘Let’s go!’ Siddhant said, frantic.
They ran to Priyesh’s car, and wasted no time to follow her. It was a few minutes before they found her. It seemed like she was headed to their apartment, but her car was weaving and looked ready to crash.
‘What the fuck is she doing?’ Priyesh muttered, in the passenger seat.
‘I think we should stay back. We should just follow her to make sure she gets home safe. If we try to stop her, she might …’ Siddhant couldn’t finish the sentence. All of this felt surreal.
‘Go crazy on your ass again? Yeah, I don’t doubt it,’ Priyesh said.
So they hung back, quietly following her. Siddhant grew anxious, watching her car zig-zag on the road. And then, she noticed them. That was the only explanation Siddhant could come up with for her wild honking on a relatively empty stretch of road. Immediately, he pulled over to the side.
‘We can’t follow her. She’s not in control – she’ll hurt herself if she gets more agitated,’ Siddhant said, thinking quickly. ‘We’ll just wait here for a few minutes, and then head home. It’s not far now, hopefully she’ll get there safely.’
‘Good thinking,’ Priyesh said, clearly relieved that they had stopped.
‘As safely as can be expected …’ Siddhant was shaking his head, his eyes wide and concerned, his mind racing to find a solution.
Probably in consideration of Siddhant’s state, Priyesh kept his thoughts to himself. He wasn’t a fan of Akriti, especially after the very public meltdown she’d just had, but in that moment he chose to remain silent, which Siddhant was thankful for.
And then, out of the blue, they saw her approaching them at full speed. She’d taken a U turn, and was driving on the wrong side of the road, heading right towards them, sounding her horn relentlessly.
Siddhant got only a few seconds to absorb what he was seeing. Even before he could reach for the key, Akriti crashed into their car with the ear-splitting crunch of metal on metal.
Siddhant’s side of the door caved in, and he was thrown to his left, towards Priyesh. In the rush to follow Akriti, he hadn’t fastened his seat belt.
The world became still.
‘Oh god, oh god, oh god …’ Priyesh was muttering as he struggled to free himself from his seat belt. ‘Siddhant! Are you okay? Siddhant … talk to me, stay with me, no …’
Siddhant’s eyes snapped shut and the scene disappeared from before him. For a blissful moment, he didn’t hear anything or feel anything … then suddenly, his eyes shot open, and he felt every part of his body scream in pain. In the dim yellow light from the streetlight, he saw that their windshield had shattered into a million pieces. Siddhant’s side of the car had crumbles, and pieces of metal had fallen out and were piercing his skin. Blood was gushing from a wound on his head, streaming down his face and seeping inside his shirt.
He tried to raise himself up, to see Akriti … He could barely make her out in the darkness. She was pressed against the back of her seat, her head lolling to her side. Her body was completely still.
‘No …’ he groaned, before slumping down, his head spinning, his lungs gasping for air.
‘It’s okay … you’re okay. I’m getting you out …’ Priyesh was chanting.
That was the last thing Siddhant heard before he lost consciousness.
Chapter 15
All he could tell for sure was that he was in a hospital. He was awake, but his eyelids refused to open. He tried to move his fingers, but his body couldn’t make it happen. He tried to wiggle his toes, but with the same result. At long last, the most he could do was gulp. There was a terrible taste in his mouth. A sort of metallic taste that could be a mixture of blood and medication.
Siddhant stayed like that for a long time, awake but unable to move. He figured he was feeling the after-effects of a strong anaesthetic. Then, slowly, he began hearing voices around him, muffled at first, then clear … he understood some of the interaction. Doctors talking to someone … a woman whose voice he didn’t recognize. And was that … Priyesh? Priyesh. Was he okay? He heard something about a miracle … but before he could hear anymore, he slipped back into an uncomfortable unconsciousness.
The next time Siddhant woke up, his mind was blissfully clear. He opened his eyes, blinking at the bright lights and took in the bland white ceiling with a fan hanging from it. Without moving his body, he looked around. He was in a shared room with another patient, an older man who seemed to be asleep at the moment.
He heard voices from the door, and strained his neck to see Priyesh standing there, blocking the way. Who was Priyesh trying to keep out? Siddhant tried to call out to him but all that escaped his mouth was a groan.
Priyesh spun around. He looked suspiciously at the old man first, before realizing that the sound had come from Siddhant. ‘Hey man …’ he said, rushing to his side. ‘How are you feeling?’
‘Medium,’ Siddhant croaked. His throat was dry and it felt unusual to speak. ‘You?’
‘I’m okay. My left shoulder’s got a bruise – I hit it against the door when … the crash happened.’ Priyesh held his left arm by the elbow and threw a dirty look at the woman near the door before continuing, ‘But that’s all. I’m okay.’
Priyesh was nodding vigorously, as though unable to believe that he’d ended up coming out of the crash okay. Siddhant felt a pang of guilt, and said, ‘I’m so sorry …’
‘You didn’t do it! I was there. You didn’t do anything. It was that—’ Priyesh caught himself before saying what he thought of Akriti.
‘How’s she?’ Siddhant asked, his heart racing, the sinking feeling returning to his chest.
How had this happened? Why couldn’t he have stopped it from going down like this? The image of Akriti’s still form pressed up against the back of her seat, her head drooping on her shoulder, was still etched his in brain. It would always haunt him. What if Akriti …
‘She’s alive. They’re saying she’s in shock, but she’s going to be okay. Your car has airbags, so she was protected,’ Priyesh said, and then added after a moment’s pause, ‘I mean had. You don’t have a car anymore. Neither do I.’
In the silence that followed, they both went over the scene from the crash in their minds. Siddhant wondered about how hurt he was. He almost didn’t have the courage to ask Priyesh about his own condition. He was too scared to look down at himself, or move at all. His mind was clear, but his body felt as though it was still asleep. And to be a surgeon and do what he did, he needed both his body and his mind.
Before he could say anything, the woman loitering by the door finally walked inside. Now that Siddhant could see her clearly, he was able to place her immediately.
‘Hello, Siddhant,’ the woman said.
‘You’re Akriti’s mom,’ Siddhant said in response.
‘Stepmom,’ the woman said dryly. ‘Don’t let her hear you call me her mom. She’s angry with you as it is.’
‘She’s angry …?’ Siddhant blurted in disbelief, then kicked himself for even being surprised. This was not out of character for Akriti – to try to kill all of them, and then be angry with him for failing to do so. He’d stood by her through a lot of her crazy behaviour, but she’d crossed a line this time, by putting him and his best friend in danger, along with herself. This wasn’t forgivable.
‘She’s angry that I was called. Your friend here is filing an FIR,’ Akriti’s stepmom said, motioning towards Priyesh.
‘The police arrived at the scene and followed us to the hospital. Not that I was going to protect her by lying to them, but even if I were, those officers weren’t stupid. We were in a parked car on the side of the road
! She was drunk. She tried to kill us!’ Priyesh’s voice got louder as he spoke. ‘The only reason she isn’t locked up right now is because she needs medical attention. But believe me, there are officers outside her door. She isn’t getting away with this.’
Before Siddhant could wrap his head around that, Akriti’s mom spoke. ‘Siddhant, please. You know she’s not in her right mind. She needs help, she didn’t do it on purpose—’
Priyesh cut her off angrily. ‘She did do it on purpose! I was there. She intended to hit us head on. It was every bit intentional.’
‘She would never do that! Not in her right mind!’
‘Well then, she lost her mind, didn’t she? She’s been treating Siddhant like a slave for months and months, and the first time he stood up against her, she flipped her lid,’ Priyesh fumed.
‘Priyesh, please let me talk to Siddhant,’ Akriti’s stepmom said. ‘I know what my daughter did to you both is unjustifiable and unforgivable. Trust me, I understand where you’re coming from. But if you file an FIR against her, she will never get her life back. She will be tainted … her reputation will be ruined. She might go to prison! And with a criminal record like that, she might never be able to practise medicine again.’
‘Good! She shouldn’t be allowed to be a surgeon. What if her next breakdown happens in an ICU? She’s a threat to herself and those around her,’ Priyesh countered.
‘I know it’s a lot to ask, but please, please, consider this. I’m begging you, please don’t destroy her life.’ Her voice was pained. She seemed extremely tired, but her eyes were alert. ‘I know it is a lot to ask, but please consider my request. I’m the only family she has, and she’s the only family I have left … I have to look out for her. I can’t let her go to prison …’
Siddhant was trying to process everything that had been said in the room. But before he could say anything, or even think clearly enough to form a thought, she spoke again.
‘Don’t decide now. Please, think about it,’ she said, as she backed out of the room. ‘I’ll be with Akriti.’