Jake nodded, pleased to see her so excited.
Speechless, she turned her gaze back toward the view through her window. It was magnificent in every way. The shimmering lights of the coast and the fishing trawlers inching back home for the night through Sandy Hook Bay were mesmerizing.
Being in a helicopter was a lot different than being in a plane. She loved being able to fly low enough that she could actually see what was happening on the ground. She felt like a kid standing over a giant map complete with toy cars and boats and buildings.
By the time they flew over the East River and above Lower Manhattan, it was dark enough to see the magnificent glowing spire of the Empire State Building. Brooke was spellbound.
“No way,” she whispered as the Statue of Liberty came into view, her glowing patina torch thrust majestically into the air. She’d seen Lady Liberty before, but never like this. Jake squeezed her hand. She looked over at him. He didn’t say anything. He just smiled. She was so blown away. How could anyone else ever compare?
“I’ve got clearance to land,” the pilot announced and Brooke felt the helicopter begin to descend. It was as if they were slowly sinking, sinking, sinking, until the skids touched down on the top of a building.
When the rotors stopped, Jake and Brooke took off their headsets, laid them on their seats, and climbed out. A well-dressed older man with a beard met them at the stairwell and led them down a flight of stairs and into a restaurant. Brooke had no idea where they were, but given the rows of wine bottles on the wall and tuxedo-clad waiters, she knew it had to be expensive.
The older man escorted them to a table near the window and pulled out Brooke’s chair. As she sat, he shook open her napkin with a dramatic flair and laid it on her lap.
“Aperitif, sir?”
“Extra-dirty martini for me and something a little sweet for her,” Jake answered.
“Cosmopolitan?”
“Have you had a cosmo before?” Jake asked, turning to Brooke. She shook her head. She wasn’t even sure what they were talking about.
“Sure,” Jake said approvingly and looked at Brooke as the man walked off.
“I don’t even know what an aperitif is,” she said, stumbling over the pronunciation. She glanced around, feeling completely out of place in her jeans. Jake gave a dismissive wave of his hand, not fazed one bit.
“It’s just a snooty word for a before-dinner drink. I hope you don’t mind that I preordered our meals. This place is known for its sea bass and I wanted to make sure they didn’t run out.”
“It sounds amazing.” She still couldn’t believe she was sitting across from one of the hottest guys she’d ever met, in a restaurant in NYC. She was so excited, her hands were trembling.
“So how does this date rank against your others?”
“Jake,” Brooke gushed. “I don’t even know what to say. This whole thing is crazy.”
“Crazy in a good way, though, right?”
“Yes. Incredible. This is the most amazing thing anyone has ever done for me.”
When a server brought their drinks, Jake nodded in gratitude. Brooke picked up her bright pink drink by the stem and studied the curly twist of lemon rind hanging off the glass.
“This is fun,” she said, holding it up to show Jake. He burst out laughing.
“It’s just a garnish.”
“Oh,” Brooke said and tucked it back onto the glass before taking a sip. Delicious. Jake bit one of the olives off the pick and gazed out the window.
Everything about this date had already been amazing but she wanted to make sure Jake understood that it was their initial connection at the karaoke bar that drew her in. If he was doing all of this just to make up for their fight at school, it wasn’t necessary. She wondered how to bring it up without offending him.
“Jake,” she started, “you know you don’t need to do all of this stuff to impress me, right? It’s incredible, but I would’ve been just as happy ordering pizza and watching movies at your place.”
“Just as happy?” he teased.
“Well, this is pretty damn hard to beat,” she laughed.
He chuckled. “I know you don’t need it,” he said with a seriousness in his voice. “But I’ve waited a long time to do this kind of thing with someone. I like being romantic. I like planning surprises that’ll make you happy. It’s as much for me as it is for you.”
Brooke’s heart swelled a little and she felt guilty for doubting him earlier. Why did she have to overanalyze everything? Like Keisha said, she should just have fun and not worry so much. It’s how she remembered herself being before her diagnosis and she wanted to be that way again. Light. Happy. Confident.
When dinner came, the food was unlike anything she’d ever experienced.
“Sea bass is my new favorite fish,” she said, delicately forking her last bite into her mouth. “I’m totally ruined now for that frozen stuff my mom buys.”
“It’s so great to be here with you,” he said. “I never really got to see what a real relationship is supposed to be like. When I sit here with you, it’s so easy and natural and I feel like I’ve found it.”
Brooke leaned in, touched. The compliment was sweet, but she loved that he was offering information about his past without her asking.
When they climbed back into the helicopter to transport them home, Brooke didn’t want the night to end. She wished she could rewind it and live the whole thing over. As she looked out at the pitch-black ocean to their left and the twinkling lights of New Jersey on the right, Brooke realized how limited her life had been. There was a whole world out there she had yet to experience, so many things she didn’t even know existed. The idea of doing them with Jake was not just enticing, but inspiring.
It was five minutes to ten when the helicopter touched down on the roof of Jake’s penthouse. There was no way she’d be home by curfew. What would she tell her mother? Hey, Mom, sorry I’m late but it took us longer to fly back from New York City than I anticipated. She could just picture the fit her mother would have if she knew Jake had taken her two states away for glazed sea bass. But, Mom, come on. It was glazed sea bass. She needed to come up with some excuse that her mom would buy. In ten minutes, she’d receive a text asking why she wasn’t home, and if she didn’t text back, she’d be grounded.
“What are you thinking about?” Jake asked as they entered his condo.
“Nothing. I’m just supposed to be home by ten on school nights.”
“So don’t go to school tomorrow. Then it’s not a school night,” he teased. “Do you want me to call your mom and explain it’s my fault? Say the restaurant valet lost the key to my car or something? She knows you’re with me, right?”
“Yeah, but she’ll ask why I didn’t just Uber it.” If Jake was going to help come up with excuses her mother would buy, he had to do better than that.
“So what if she does? What’s she going to do?”
“Make my life difficult. Not let me go out for a week. Which means I won’t be able to go to Riley’s party.”
“Oh yeah, the party,” Jake said dismissively. Brooke paused, surprised. The last time they talked about it, he was dying to go with her.
“Why did you say it like that? You don’t want to go?” she asked, slightly defensive. If he didn’t want to go, she was perfectly happy going by herself and spending more time with Maddie. That’s what she’d wanted to do to begin with. Besides, Maddie and Keisha weren’t bringing anyone, and she didn’t want to rub it in Maddie’s face that she had a boyfriend and Mads didn’t.
“I want to go because it’s important to you,” he said and poured himself a glass of gin. “But would I rather do something like we did tonight instead of hanging out with a bunch of high school kids? Yeah. Wouldn’t you?”
Brooke tried to understand his point, but she just couldn’t. Tonight had been amazing, but she’d also been looking forward to Riley’s get-together since he announced it a month ago. Two totally different types of fun. There was n
o reason they couldn’t enjoy both, right? And she didn’t love hearing him put down her friends. He didn’t even know them.
“I had a terrific time tonight, but if you give my friends a chance, I think you’ll have a good time.” She didn’t really know why she was trying to talk him into a party that he clearly had mixed feelings about attending and that she would rather go to alone. Trying a different tactic she said, “But I can go by myself if it’s not your thing and we can hook up on Saturday or something after I finish cheer camp.”
“Of course I’ll go with you, silly. Don’t get all freaked out.”
Who was freaking out? Brooke thought. And of course he’d go? A minute ago he implied he didn’t want to. What was going on? Brooke felt something inside her bristle. Why was it that every time she was feeling so happy about her relationship with Jake, he did something weird to ruin the moment?
“Okay. I’ll see you on Friday, then,” she said, puzzled by the exchange.
He walked her to the door and kissed her once again. But the kiss didn’t feel as good as the first one. Her thoughts were still on his subtle dig at her friends.
“Drive safe,” Jake said as they parted.
“I will. Thanks again for tonight.” She meant it.
“Just the first of many surprises,” he assured her and watched as she got on the elevator. As soon as the elevator doors closed, the anticipated text came in from her mother.
Mom: Are you almost home?
Brooke sighed.
Brooke: Leaving Jake’s now. Sorry. Restaurant screwed up our reservation and we ate really late. Be home in twenty minutes.
She hated lying to her mom, but what choice did she have? Tucking her phone into her purse, she knew she’d hear about it the next day. As long as her mom wasn’t so upset that she nixed the party, it would be fine. The bigger concern was Jake. Once again, it had happened. She’d gone from a perfect evening and all the signs that she was falling in love with him to feeling like something wasn’t right. She couldn’t put her finger on it. All she knew is when she left Jake, she felt unsettled.
Thirteen
Words of Warning
It wasn’t Brooke’s intention to talk to Dr. Fenson about Jake. She wanted to focus on the progress she felt she was making with her condition. Things that would have set her off a few months ago like Jake dissing her friends and Maddie’s response to her in the hallway before cheer didn’t anymore. She wasn’t sure if it was the medication or the anger-management tools Dr. Fenson had taught her, or a combination, but things were certainly getting better.
Somehow, though, Brooke found herself on Dr. Fenson’s couch, telling the doctor about her feelings toward her new beau.
“It’s just weird,” Brooke said as she picked at a thread from the cushion on her lap. “He makes me feel . . . confused. One minute I think I’m completely in love with him, and the next, I feel like he’s either insulting my friends or talking me into stuff I don’t want to be talked into. Something just doesn’t seem right.”
“What other emotions, besides confused, do you feel?” Dr. Fenson crossed her thin legs.
“Guilt I guess.”
“Why guilt?”
“I don’t know. He had a really messed-up childhood that he doesn’t like to talk about. I don’t want to be another person in his life that rejects him. Especially when he’s going out of his way to do all these sweet things for me. I mean, how do you break up with someone who flew you to New York?”
“Trips to New York aren’t the basis of a relationship. They’re perks, and you’re going to find them with any guy you choose to be with.”
Brooke got what the doctor was saying. She knew she had to be careful not to let herself get so caught up in the fantasy that it became hard to judge whether Jake was really the right guy for her.
“If Jake’s mature enough to be in a relationship, he’s mature enough to know that he could be rejected,” Dr. Fenson went on. “If he doesn’t understand that risk, he shouldn’t try to have a relationship. That’s on him, not you.” That made sense. Everything Dr. Fenson said made sense. That’s why Brooke liked coming to see her every two weeks.
“You’re right.”
“Guilt is something we’ve discussed previously, right? When you say or do something you regret, you feel guilt. And you should. That’s why it’s important to control our words and actions. When we control them, and stop ourselves from saying things we don’t mean, there’s no reason to feel guilty.”
She’d talked about this with Dr. Fenson before, but for the first time, Brooke felt like she was really comprehending it.
“That’s different than what you’re talking about. You can’t go through life doing what other people want, instead of what you want, just so you don’t hurt their feelings. You are going to disappoint people. It’ll happen your entire life. But there’s no reason to feel guilty over those things. You have every right to choose what’s best for you and they need to learn to deal with the disappointment.”
Brooke absorbed her words. I need to remember this, she thought. I need to recognize the difference between hurting someone for no reason and disappointing someone because I don’t want to do what they want me to do.
“This party that he’s going to with you on Friday, will there be alcohol there?”
“Yeah,” Brooke said honestly. She knew Dr. Fenson would never tell her mother anything they said in session.
“Are you going to drink?”
“I want to. Everyone else will be. Except my friend Keisha of course.”
“I need to warn you, Brooke. That’s very dangerous on this medication you’re taking. There are all kinds of side effects including blacking out and increased anxiety once the alcohol is out of your system.” Brooke had experienced the side effects she was talking about, but they didn’t happen every time she drank. Only when she drank way too much like she did that time at the lake. When she’d had a few cocktails with Jake at the karaoke bar and in New York, she’d felt perfectly fine.
“You’re basically saying I may have to be on this medication for the rest of my life. Obviously I’m not going to go my whole life without drinking.” Even Dr. Fenson would have to admit the expectation wasn’t reasonable.
“We’re not talking about your whole life, though. We’re talking about one night—Friday. A party with a lot of people you’ve never met. With a date you don’t know that well and could take advantage of you if you pass out. You need to assess every situation on its own merit. Does drinking alcohol in that environment put you at more risk than say, having a drink at home with Maddie?”
“I get what you’re saying,” Brooke admitted. But she wasn’t going to let Dr. Fenson’s warning deter her from having fun at what promised to be the best party of the year.
Fourteen
Friday
“I’ll meet you there,” Brooke told Jake on the phone as she touched the tip of her mascara wand to her long eyelashes. Despite his protests, she wanted to take her own car just in case he complained that the party was lame and wanted to go home. She could stay; he could go. She had a feeling it might happen given his comment about not wanting to hang out with a bunch of high school kids. This was her insurance policy that if Jake created some sort of drama, her night wouldn’t be ruined.
“If we’re going to be there as a couple, we should go as a couple,” he said.
She knew he expected her to say okay, but Brooke wasn’t about to budge. Dr. Fenson had told her not to feel guilty about sticking to her guns.
“Don’t let Jake, or anyone else, convince you to do something you don’t want to do. Compromise is not the same as being manipulated,” Dr. Fenson had said.
“There aren’t any rules, Jake,” Brooke said assertively. “If you want me to meet you in front of the house and we can walk in together, that’s fine. But I’m taking my car.” There was silence on the other end. She could feel his frustration through the phone.
“All right,” he said finally.
“I’ll text you the address. If I’m not outside when you get there, message me and I’ll come out.” Brooke was anxious to blow off some steam with her friends, and if Jake decided to be late, she didn’t want to have to wait around in the car for him to arrive.
“See you in a little bit,” he responded dryly and hung up. Despite feeling proud of herself for standing her ground, she couldn’t help but feel a little guilty. If Jake were taking her to a party with a bunch of his tech friends, would she want to meet him in the parking lot? Probably not, but then again, she wouldn’t have invited herself to one of his buddy’s parties.
On the other hand, if the night went well, maybe she and Jake would head back to his penthouse and spend their first night together. That’s the direction she was hoping it would go. Picturing Jake in nothing but boxers, stretched out on the bed, made Brooke’s heart beat a little faster. That’s why she’d worn her sexiest red panties and matching bra. Just in case.
Brooke stuffed a pair of sweats into her backpack and left a note for her mother that she was spending the night at Maddie’s house with a couple other girls. In the morning, if she came home in sweats, her mother would buy that it was a sleepover and not a party. The ruse was simple but it had worked many times before.
When Brooke pulled up to Riley’s house, there were already a dozen cars parked along the street and all the way up his winding driveway. The lights were on in almost every room of the rambling two-story mansion and she could hear music coming from the backyard.
Ready to let loose, Brooke locked her car, stuffed her keys into her purse, and made her way up the manicured lawn to the front door. It was open and she let herself in.
“Hey!” Riley said as soon as he saw her. She gave him a hug. “You’re here! Bar’s set up out by the pool. Help yourself.”
“Thanks!” Brooke wasted no time darting down the long hallway, past the sitting room and the living room and the formal dining area, and through the kitchen, where multiple trays of food and a stack of at least a dozen pizzas sat on the counter. Riley was obviously expecting a lot of people.
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