by J. S. Scott
Since Blake had only known me as a bratty child, I doubted he’d believe me. My distant memories of him were cringe worthy, even though I’d only been a young child.
His steely gaze swept over me, finally releasing my hand as he said, “So I see. You’re definitely…all grown up.”
“We all here?” Marcus’s booming voice queried from the entrance to the kitchen.
Aileen beamed. “We were just waiting for you,” she told her oldest son. “Chloe and I can serve up supper now.”
Chloe got up from her seat. “But the men get to do the dishes,” she said adamantly, shooting a mischievous look at Gabe.
Chloe’s husband shrugged. “Not a problem for me.”
“Me, either,” Blake seconded, never taking his intense gaze from my face.
“I don’t think any of us will argue since we can’t cook worth a damn,” Marcus added as he bussed his mother’s cheek when she stood to get dinner on the table.
“I’ll help,” I told Aileen hastily, confused by the way my heart was racing under Blake’s scrutiny.
I glanced at Marcus and he shot me a warning glance. I wasn’t certain what he meant by it, but I certainly wasn’t about to share with his family why I was here. I’d told Aileen I just needed a break, and I thought Rocky Springs would be perfect. She hadn’t really questioned me about staying at her resort. Aileen knew we had sold my parents’ place after they’d died, not a single one of us wanting to keep the home where our parents had been so happy.
It was too painful to be there without them.
I hopped up, grateful to be able to turn my back on Marcus and Blake as I helped Aileen set up dinner. It was more than a little disconcerting seeing the two twins together.
There was no doubt that Blake and Marcus were identical. They’d even dressed in similar clothing: heavy sweaters and a pair of jeans. The only difference was that Marcus had selected a sedate, gray sweater, while Blake was wearing navy blue. At first, I wasn’t sure I could tell them apart if I didn’t have the identifying sweater colors. But as the meal continued, I realized that the two men were different, even though they physically looked exactly alike.
Blake traded insults with Gabe, making it obvious the two of them were close. Marcus was quiet, observant, his responses to his mother and Chloe straight and to the point.
I spent the majority of time catching up with Aileen over dinner, but I could feel Blake’s frequent gaze.
Maybe he still can’t stand me because I was so hateful as a kid.
By the time we finished dessert, Blake still hadn’t spoken much to me. He’d blatantly ignored me, focusing most of his attention on Gabe.
I wasn’t sure exactly why that bothered me, but it rankled that he didn’t even attempt to strike up a conversation to be polite. Of course, neither did I because I was too busy wondering why his masculine scent was practically making me salivate. He smelled so damn good, and the heat radiating from his body made me want to move even closer than the cozy table forced us to be.
I wondered if he was feeling as tense as I was, but I discounted the idea. He didn’t know me, and I really didn’t know him. Sure, I’d slept with his identical twin over a decade ago, but it had never been Marcus’s looks that had attracted me. He’d been handsome, but it had been so much more than his attractive face back then that had made me want to be closer to him.
The pull had been almost inexplicable, but that attraction was long gone.
I let out a relieved breath as we all got up to take care of the dishes, despite Chloe’s claim that the guys would do the task, and I avoided both Marcus and Blake as I quickly helped load the plates and clear the table.
After that, I made my excuses to Aileen and slipped out the door, doubtful that anybody would even notice that I’d gone.
Blake
Everybody in my family already knew that I was impersonating Marcus, so I had no problem venturing out of his home and heading to the lodge.
I hadn’t been happy when I’d returned from a private conversation with Gabe and Chloe to find that Harper had escaped the family dinner early.
Holy hell! Seeing her again had rendered me mute, and I could barely speak to her without blurting out the truth of what had really occurred twelve years ago. I’d ended up focusing my attention on Gabe to keep my mouth shut, but sitting next to Harper after so many years apart hadn’t been easy. Especially since I knew she’d been so misinformed.
Maybe she hadn’t disliked me.
Maybe she’d just been angry.
Those were questions I’d been dying to ask her, but it wasn’t happening in the middle of a family gathering.
I wandered into the lodge of my mom’s resort and hot springs, ready to grab some breakfast. Like most of my other brothers, I was a lousy cook and ate out as often as possible.
It was something Marcus would do because he couldn’t even boil water as far as I knew, and he took advantage of the breakfast buffet almost every day when he was home.
Good thing…because I’d taken over impersonating my twin several days ago, and I hated it. This wasn’t the first time I’d done this for him, but I was determined it would be the last. None of my family knew the truth about the Private Rescue Organization except me. My family, of course, knew exactly who I was, whether I was acting like Marcus or not. Not that I could be as big of a prick as he could, but family just…knew who was who, even though we were identical. Especially my mom. Not once had she failed to recognize which twin she was talking to. However, my family did know about Marcus’s involvement with the CIA, and we attributed my impersonations to his duties to the government.
I hated being someone I wasn’t, and I’d prefer to be at my own home. Since I had to be in DC a large portion of the time, I really appreciated my time in Rocky Springs. Warmer weather would be coming soon, and my heifers would be having their offspring. I was eager to be with my general manager and chief researcher on the ranch right now, preparing for deliveries.
Rescuing Danica is a hell of a lot more important than my cattle right now.
Harper had looked like she was holding it together, but she had to be frantic about her sister’s kidnapping. I’d been relieved that she hadn’t mentioned the situation to my mother, and my family apparently hadn’t said anything to give away the fact that it had been me and not Marcus who had gone to find her in Denver twelve years ago.
I thought back to my conversation with Dani all those years ago. I just wished Danica had mentioned why Harper wouldn’t want to talk to me.
It was evident that I’d hurt Harper Lawson without even knowing it.
Sitting through a dinner with her next to me had been torture, especially since I hadn’t been able to talk about what had happened.
I started serving myself from the long line of breakfast items in the dining room of the lodge, trying not to be incredibly friendly like I normally would. Hell, unlike Marcus, I actually liked people. And I loved Colorado. As a senator, it was natural for me to strike up a conversation nearly everywhere I went.
But Marcus wasn’t one to speak unless he felt it was necessary.
My brother avoided close relationships and was about as secretive as a man could get.
So, even though it pained me, I ignored the older woman who smiled at me as I piled eggs on my plate, and didn’t say a word to the elderly gentleman spearing some sausage.
Because it was exactly what Marcus would do.
I wasn’t positive where my older twin was now, but I was hoping he’d bring Danica back pretty damn soon. Being Marcus was going against my own nature, and I had to be aware of who I was pretending to be every moment that I was masquerading as my twin.
Now that I understood what had happened twelve years ago, I was having a hard time not setting the record straight with Harper. Our family dinner had been awkward enough, and I’d hardly gotten throug
h it without dragging her away so I could explain everything that had happened. Somehow, I needed to close that miserable chapter in my life. But I’d decided I should probably wait until Dani was back home and safe. It would probably be wise to avoid Harper until then.
Since Marcus said Harper was over the whole experience, it probably wasn’t important enough to her to justify seeking her out now.
Sitting next to her at Mom’s dinner, not saying a word, had been one of the hardest things I’d ever done. But it hadn’t been the time or place to explain, and I had no idea how she’d react. The best I’d been able to do was pretend I didn’t care.
Unfortunately, Harper still affected me just as much as she had twelve years ago, and it had taken everything I had not to talk to her. Maybe for her, the incident was forgotten and in the past. But I’d never forgotten her, or gotten over the fact that she’d completely dumped me.
Sure, I got it now, but plenty of years had gone by that I’d resented her for just coldly ignoring me after I’d made it clear I wanted to hear from her, and I’d often wondered why she’d refused to speak to me.
Now that I knew I’d unintentionally hurt her, it was killing me. I should have followed my instincts back then and tracked her down, demanded an answer. But her rejection had stung and it had been painful enough to keep me away.
Now that I knew the truth, I had so many things I wanted to say to her. I wanted to know exactly how she’d gotten to where she was in her career right now. I wanted to tell her how sorry I was that she’d lost her parents even before she’d finished college.
I didn’t need to ask her why she was involved in helping the homeless. I knew why.
Mostly, I wanted to be able to forget her completely, because I never really had.
I still thought about her. But I didn’t fantasize about her the way I used to. Well, okay, maybe I did, but not quite as often anymore. If I occasionally read stories about her building homeless shelters, and saw her picture, it was just curiosity—at least that’s what I told myself.
The first few years had been hell. I’d been telling Marcus the truth when I’d confessed that I’d called her. What I hadn’t told him is that I’d been obsessed with talking to her, so I’d phoned several times a day.
Over and over.
Hoping she’d finally answer—even if it was just to get rid of me.
When her phone number had finally been disconnected, I’d nearly lost it. But I eventually withdrew. If there was one thing I’d learned by being in politics, it was to fight the fights I could actually win. Not that I didn’t try to change things that I thought were wrong, but I had to prioritize. Harper Lawson had been a “no-win” situation back then. Even if she had answered my calls, what would I have said to her if she wasn’t interested? It was something I’d had to just accept.
“Marcus?” I heard the confused female voice from behind me, and my body tensed.
It was a voice I hadn’t heard in years except for the few words we’d exchanged at dinner, and I was suddenly tempted to ignore it.
Harper. What in the hell is she doing here? It hadn’t really occurred to me that she was probably staying here since she no longer had family or a home in the area. But it was logical. She’d obviously run into my mom, and it made sense that Harper was probably staying here.
In the end, I had to turn and face her, but when I did, it was like getting body-slammed by a linebacker.
Christ! She really hadn’t changed much. She was just as beautiful as she’d always been, a fact that had affected me so violently when I’d seen her at my mother’s place that I’d had to turn my focus elsewhere unless I wanted to become a babbling idiot.
“Yes?” I lifted an arrogant eyebrow in a Marcus sort of way.
“Why are you still here? I thought you were already gone to get Dani,” she said in a breathless voice that had me hard in an instant.
“Not yet,” I hedged. “But we’ll find her.” I turned away and sought out a table.
I couldn’t talk to her.
Not here.
Not now.
Unfortunately, she wasn’t about to give me a moment of peace.
Harper sat her coffee down and helped herself to a bagel before she came and sat right across from me, totally ruining my appetite.
My gut was tied in knots as I met her questioning gaze straight on.
“What did you find out? Do you know where Dani is? Did you find new team members?”
Her tone was urgent, and I wanted to spill everything I knew, including my identity, almost immediately.
But it still wasn’t the time and place for me to blurt out the truth.
“Not much. Not yet. And yes, I did get a team together.”
Harper rolled her eyes as she took a bite of her bagel. “Then shouldn’t you think about a plan of attack?”
She took a sip of her coffee, which I noticed she still took black.
“We’re working as quickly as possible,” I answered blandly. “We haven’t located her yet. We can’t go blazing into an area like that without knowing where we’re going.”
Honestly, I had no fucking idea if Marcus had located Dani, but I hoped that he had.
Harper blew out a large breath of frustration. “I’m sorry. I just want my sister back.”
“I know,” I returned stoically. “Are you staying here?”
“Yeah. We sold my parents’ home after they died.”
I nodded. “I know. I’m sorry about your loss. Your parents were good people. My mom was torn up when they died.” I hesitated before asking, “Where are you living now?”
“California,” she answered. “But I spend a lot of time traveling for my job.”
“Architect, right?” I knew damn well what she did for a living, but I was so damn edgy that I needed to keep making small talk.
Really, all I wanted to do was comfort her, be there because she needed somebody, and underneath her demanding but concerned demeanor, I somehow knew she felt lost and alone. But I didn’t want to risk blowing my cover in public.
Not here.
Not now.
She stopped eating to eye me carefully, and I squirmed under her examination. “Yeah. I’m an architect,” she answered cautiously. “But you already mentioned it. When I first saw you, remember?”
Hell, no, I didn’t remember. She’d been talking to Marcus, not me. “Sorry,” I muttered awkwardly. For a politician, I certainly wasn’t thinking quickly to wiggle out of uncomfortable questions. I usually had quick answers and a charming smile, but my brain seemed to be disconnected when it came to Harper.
I looked directly at her, and she pinned me with her green-eyed gaze. For a moment, time stopped, and I still remembered how she’d looked at me twelve years ago.
Even in her frantic state, she still looked like the same Harper, her emotions showing in her expression and the depth of her eyes. She’d matured well, and she was now definitely a woman instead of a girl, but I could still see remnants of the eighteen-year-old Harper I’d cared about so much.
Her beautiful, blonde hair was clipped to the back of her head, and a few locks had already escaped their confinement and framed her face. The gorgeous emerald eyes I remembered were just as vivid as ever, especially right now with her emotions so close to the surface. I could tell she was scared, but she wasn’t hysterical. “You look really good. Are you happy?” I asked huskily, unable to stop staring at her.
I doubted that was a question Marcus would ask, but I didn’t give a shit. I had to know.
She blinked hard and then turned her eyes back to her half-eaten bagel. “Yes. For the most part. I miss my family, and I’ve worried about Dani from the moment she’d decided to fly toward danger instead of away from it. But I love what I do.”
“The commissions or the charitable stuff?” I asked curiously.
“Both,” she admitted, pulling off small chunks from the bagel and popping them into her mouth. “Are you happy? You seem to travel around as much as my sister.”
I shrugged. “I guess I could give the same answer you did…most of the time. Traveling gets old.”
I was mostly on the move from Colorado to Washington, but not really having a permanent home did get monotonous sometimes.
“I don’t mind it so much,” Harper said thoughtfully. “I guess I enjoy seeing different places.”
I ate while I watched her, mesmerized by how little she’d changed physically. “Why did you never answer my calls?” I blurted out without filtering my words, but my gut was burning to know.
She looked up at me in surprise. “I thought you didn’t really remember much that happened back then.”
“I lied,” I shot back immediately. “I remember every single detail, and there hasn’t been a day when I didn’t think about you, Harper.”
She lifted an angry brow. “Were you thinking about me when you were kissing your girlfriend the day after you fucked me?” she asked bluntly.
“Yes,” I answered, knowing it didn’t sound good. But I didn’t give a damn. I was never going to lie to Harper again or even avoid the truth if she asked me.
The two of us had been through twelve years of lies and misunderstandings. Maybe it should have all been forgotten, but it had eaten at me more than I cared to admit, and it was going to end.
It was fucking killing me not to tell her that I wasn’t Marcus, and it made my gut hurt to let her keep thinking I was my brother. But I didn’t dare utter a word right now about the fact that it had never been Marcus who had touched her. It had never been my sibling who had the privilege of being her first man.
Just once, I wanted to hear her say my name out loud, acknowledge exactly who had made her come so volatilely that night twelve years ago.
But I couldn’t. Not with her sister’s life hanging in the balance. Marcus needed to get to Dani without anybody knowing he was even gone. No doubt he was already in the Middle East, and it was probably safe to confess. But I needed to do it in a controlled atmosphere.