by J. S. Scott
Blake buried his face against my neck, and I savored the hot spurts of air against my skin as he tried to recover his breathing.
My heart was still thundering, and I was still panting as I fisted his hair as he lowered his mouth to kiss me.
He rolled with our mouths and bodies still joined, letting me sprawl across his hard body as he completed the sensual embrace.
The room was silent. The only sound that could be heard was our harsh breathing.
My body was sated and content as I draped over him like a blanket.
He kissed my temple lightly, and then stated, “Please tell me you’re on birth control. I fucked up.”
I tensed, just now realizing that he hadn’t used a condom.
“I’m not,” I said flatly, then pushed on his chest so I could sit up.
Harper
“I wasn’t thinking straight, Harper. It’s not your fault. I messed up,” he said gruffly as he pulled himself up to sit against the headboard.
The sight of his nude body lounging against the back of the bed momentarily caught me off-guard, and I had to avert my eyes away from him to get my thoughts straight.
I pulled the covers over my own body as I sat cross-legged in the middle of the bed.
“It’s not just your responsibility,” I mumbled. “I’m not worried. The chances of me getting pregnant right now are pretty slim.”
“Why?”
“Wrong time,” I told him.
“Well, you definitely don’t have to worry about whether or not I’m clean. The last woman I was with was a virgin, and I haven’t fucked another woman since then.”
My head jerked up, and I knew I was gaping at him like an idiot, but I couldn’t imagine… “Me?” I squeaked.
“Yeah. Twelve years ago.”
I shook my head. It wasn’t possible that a virile guy like Blake hadn’t been with anybody since he was in college, since he’d been with me. “How is that possible?” I asked in a confused tone.
“It’s pretty simple. I didn’t want anyone else.”
He absolutely meant he hadn’t slept with another female since our youthful encounter, but I still didn’t get it. “Why?”
He shrugged. “I used all kinds of excuses to try to convince myself why I wasn’t screwing other women after I’d been with you, but they were all bullshit. The real truth is pretty simple. I guess I really was waiting for you. The interest just wasn’t there.”
“Twelve years with no sex?” I asked incredulously.
“Hell, you make it sound like a crime,” he rumbled.
“No. Not a crime. It’s just pretty unbelievable.”
“Believe it,” he said drily. “It’s been a very long dry spell.”
“Why me?” I asked.
“Because you’re the only one I wanted after we were together, Harper. Believe it or not.”
“I believe you,” I whispered. “I’m just…shocked.”
“Because you always thought I slept with a different woman every week?”
I pushed the hair back from my face, knowing I was a sweaty mess. “I thought you were Marcus, and he’s definitely no angel.”
“I’m no angel, either. In my fantasies, we’ve done some pretty kinky stuff,” he teased.
“In mine, too,” I answered.
“Why is it so strange that I haven’t been with another woman? I did tell you that night was special to me. I didn’t want to tarnish it by being with someone who didn’t make me feel the same way,” he admitted in a low, hesitant tone. “Have you been with so many men since you lost your virginity that you think it’s weird or something?”
I didn’t think it was weird. I thought it was probably the most touching, wonderful thing a man could ever say. Not that most guys would admit it. But for a man as hot and virile as Blake to not have touched another woman since me was pretty damn amazing.
I shook my head. “No. I haven’t been with anyone else. It’s always just been you. Maybe that’s why I’m so surprised, and I think it’s so special that you haven’t, either.”
“That’s probably why I didn’t even think about a condom. I haven’t worried about that in years,” he said in a remorseful tone. “But I should have.”
“I won’t get pregnant, Blake,” I reassured him.
“If you do, you’re going to marry me, dammit,” he demanded.
“I wouldn’t marry you because of that,” I refused. “That’s no reason to marry a guy.”
“The hell it isn’t,” he said testily and crossed his arms over his massive chest.
I could see a stubborn streak in him that I’d never noticed before, and I had to bite my lip to keep from smiling.
We didn’t have cause to argue about this subject.
Number one—I wasn’t going to get pregnant.
Number two—I couldn’t possibly marry him.
“I won’t get pregnant,” I promised him.
“We’ll see,” Blake said dangerously as he rose from the bed. “I’ll let you sleep. You can use the rest.”
His words were stiff and cold, like he’d suddenly lost interest in the entire subject.
I suddenly felt cold and lonely, and I wondered what I’d done to make him suddenly shut down. He’d made himself vulnerable to me, and I’d done the same by telling him I’d never been with anybody else.
The only other thing I’d said was that being pregnant was no reason for a man and a woman to marry, which was true. In my case, I had my own means, and I could raise a child just fine by myself. If the alternative was marrying somebody just because I was pregnant, hypothetically, I’d rather go it alone.
He stopped at the door, and then pulled it completely open, flooding the room with bright light. “Just for the record,” he said grimly. “If you are pregnant, you are going to marry me, Harper. So I suggest you get used to the idea, even if you don’t want me for a husband.”
He closed the door behind him before I could open my mouth to explain that it wasn’t him I didn’t want. It was him under those circumstances.
For God’s sake, I was thirty years old. I had my own money and a career that would allow me to settle down in one place if that’s what I wanted. I wouldn’t marry unless I really wanted to get married, which would never happen, no matter how much I cared about Blake. In fact, I cared too much about him to make him commit to me. I could never give him everything he wanted. It wasn’t possible.
Blake is a US senator. He’s a government official, a public figure.
I frowned into the darkness as I slid under the covers and rested my head on a pillow that still smelled like Blake, a masculine, tantalizing scent that instantly made my chest ache.
Was he afraid that having an illegitimate child would ruin his career? I guess the thought had never occurred to me, but I suppose it wouldn’t exactly be good in the eyes of the general public.
It could ruin his public image, thus his career in the Senate.
I pulled the sheet and blankets around my nude body, missing Blake’s heat.
It seemed so damn backward that any voter would judge Blake by his marital status if he got a woman pregnant. But situations got twisted and ugly in the political news, to the point where people no longer knew what was the truth and what was a lie.
I wanted to tell him the whole truth, the reason why I’d never marry, but I hadn’t. I was still reeling from the fact that he’d never slept with another woman in all the years we’d been apart.
He doesn’t really want to marry me. He’s just readying himself for the possibility of me getting pregnant.
“If that’s true, then why hadn’t he found somebody to love?” I whispered into the dark, but no answer came back to me.
Blake
I was still staring at the ceiling when the sun came up, still counting the little textures in th
e bedroom ceiling with the lights on.
All I fucking knew right now was that I needed Harper. The gnawing ache in my gut wouldn’t subside.
I wouldn’t marry you for that reason!
I could still hear those words coming out of her beautiful mouth, but I couldn’t digest them. Furthermore, I wasn’t willing to accept them.
If she wouldn’t marry me if she was pregnant, there was probably no chance in the world that she’d marry me at all. For any reason.
Maybe I shouldn’t have left. Maybe I should have just fucked her into submission, made her want me just as damn badly as I wanted her. Maybe then she’d be addicted. Hell, I wanted this constant craving to be mutual, even if it was pretty damn miserable right now.
I might have left pissed off, but I sure as hell wasn’t giving up. There was no way I could feel like this alone.
My cell phone buzzed on the bedside table and I quickly took a look at the time. It was early, way earlier than anybody would call unless it was pretty damn important.
I snatched the phone, but there was nothing except the number on the caller ID. “Colter,” I answered abruptly.
“Yeah, this is Colter, too,” Marcus’s amused voice answered.
I sat up in bed, wide awake at the sound of my twin’s voice.
“Christ! Are you okay? What about Tate?” Truth be told, I’d been confident in Marcus’s skills, but I’d been pretty damn worried about both of my brothers.
“We’re both fine. We just got to Istanbul. Danica needs medical treatment. She’s got some infected wounds, and is so fucking dehydrated that they’re pumping her with fluids.”
“How bad?” I asked abruptly.
“She’ll live. She hates me just as much as ever,” Marcus replied drily.
“You didn’t tell her the truth?”
“Not yet. Right now she needs to heal. She has a few broken ribs, and she’s in a lot of pain. They’re better off keeping her medicated and letting her heal. It keeps me from being her target, so I’m good with it, too.”
“How long do you think she’ll be in the hospital?” I asked, knowing Harper was going to want to see her sister…or at least talk to her.
“If it was up to her, she’d be out already. But I’d say we can keep her in for another couple of days.”
“We saw a video,” I explained. “She was beat up.”
“I saw it,” Marcus said abruptly. “She looks worse. Some of the cuts got infected. But tell Harper she’ll heal. She’s getting good care, and she’s stubborn as all hell. Her condition is stable.”
I breathed out a sigh of relief. “Harper is going to want to get there.”
“Don’t,” Marcus said abruptly. “I’m getting Danica out of here as soon as she’s well enough to make the trip. They’re going to want her in DC. I’ll fly her there. Tate and I are staying with her until we get her there, so she’s safe.”
“Think she’ll be up to talking?”
“I’ll have her call Harper as soon as she’s able. I promise. Just let her know she’s safe.”
“I assume I can be myself now?”
“Yeah. Although it’s probably more fun being me than sitting in some uptight Senate gathering in the middle of DC bullshit,” he answered good-naturedly.
“Not once in my entire adult life have I ever wanted to be you,” I shot back at him.
“Because I’m an asshole,” Marcus finished. “Sometimes I don’t want to be me, either.”
It was a cryptic statement, and I wasn’t certain he was completely joking. “I owe you,” I answered in a sincere voice. Marcus had saved Danica’s life. Judging by her condition, she wouldn’t have lasted much longer with her captives.
“You’ve saved my ass more than once,” Marcus reminded me. “Let’s call it even.”
“So is the team back together again?”
“Hell, no. My sister-in-law would probably shoot me herself if I ever take her husband into dangerous territory again. He’s had enough of that shit.”
I smiled, imagining Lara, a former FBI agent, threatening to take out Marcus if he ever asked Tate to do another mission. I had no doubt my younger brother would be tempted because he thrived on the adrenaline since he was ex-Special Forces. But I imagined that Lara wouldn’t be very keen on Tate running regular assignments. And my younger brother seemed pretty damn content with his current situation. “She just might shoot you,” I mused.
“The old team is done. And the new one was thrown together for this operation only. I’m already going to be in hot water with the government since it was unauthorized and everyone will know who was responsible.”
“I’ll talk to them,” I told him gruffly.
As a senator, I had more pull and more friends in high places in DC than Marcus did.
“Do what you can,” he answered nonchalantly. “I’m not particularly worried about it. I’m not about to speak about this publicly, and nobody else is going to talk either. Those bastards would have let her die in hostile territory, so what are they going to say? Were they ready to turn over the bad guys we have confined?”
“You know they weren’t.”
“So they can kiss my ass,” Marcus answered irritably.
I grinned, noticing that his opinion of the suits in Washington hadn’t changed much. “I’m one of those bastards,” I reminded him.
“Nah. You’re one of the few decent ones.”
I chuckled, happy to hear that he sounded just fine. “I’ll call Lara, and I’ll let Harper know.”
“Tate’s already on the phone with Lara,” Marcus mentioned, sounding disgusted. “The first thing he had to do was call his wife.”
I thought that was pretty normal since Tate and Lara were deeply in love with each other, but Marcus made a relationship sound like a deadly disease. “Then I’ll just tell Harper.”
“We should be back in DC in less than a week, but I’ll keep in touch.”
“I have to be there in a week anyway,” I contemplated. “I can give her a ride there.”
“You two straighten your shit out?” my twin asked bluntly.
“Yes and no,” I said evasively. “It’s been twelve years. Most of it is water that passed under the bridge a hell of a long time ago.”
“Bullshit. It never ended. Harper is the reason you don’t get laid more often.”
Harper was the reason I didn’t get laid at all. “She doesn’t want to go back there again,” I explained away. “She’s always thought of me as you, and understandably, she didn’t like me very much.”
“Then change her mind,” Marcus challenged. “You know damn well you want to.”
“It’s not that simple—”
“Yeah. It is,” Marcus interrupted. “You take her to bed and make her come until she can’t think straight and you keep her that way. I’m pretty sure that’s how our siblings ended up married.”
“I think it was a little bit more than that,” I said unhappily, not really wanting to share that Harper didn’t want me for anything other than some physical gratification.
“You can be charming when you want to, bro.”
“Give it up, Marcus.”
“Not until you do,” he said in an annoyingly persistent voice.
There was no way I was totally giving up, but I didn’t share my plans with Marcus…probably because I had none yet.
Changing the subject, I told him, “Tell Tate I’m glad you’re both safe.”
“Will do. I need to get back to the hospital before Danica wakes up and tries to crawl out the window.”
I laughed when I imagined Marcus as Dani’s guardian. Somehow, I couldn’t see Marcus caring enough to keep her from fleeing. “Then just let her go. She won’t go far.”
“Like hell I will. She’s too damn weak to go anywhere. I’m about to tie her to the hospital bed
.”
I blinked in surprise at the serious tone of his voice. He was truly…annoyed, and maybe just a little bit concerned. I’d never seen him show much emotion unless it involved his family. “Tell me something…?”
“What?” Marcus asked in a clipped tone.
“If Harper hadn’t asked you, would you have tried to rescue Dani anyway?”
There was silence on the line, and for a moment I thought we’d lost our connection.
“Marcus?”
“I don’t know. Probably,” my older brother finally admitted grudgingly. “She’s probably the most annoying female I’ve ever met, but she’s pretty damn gutsy.”
“You like her,” I accused.
“I wouldn’t go that far,” he grumbled. “I gotta go. I’ll have Danica call Harper as soon as she can.”
We hung up after a very brief good-bye, and I tossed my phone back on the bedside table.
I debated for a few minutes whether or not I should wake Harper up to tell her about her sister.
No matter how pissed off I might be at the moment, I knew she’d want to know.
I could see the stress and anxiety on her face every single moment of the day, and her exhaustion was evident.
I rolled out of bed, deciding that if it was me, I’d want to know the moment one of my siblings was out of danger.
Once Harper knew, maybe she could get some rest, and her nightmares about her sister would cease.
After that, we’re focusing on us.
It was about damn time Harper Lawson and I settled the fact that she was mine, once and for all.
Maybe she didn’t want a commitment right now, but I’d waited this long. I could wait a little bit longer.
Harper
“Harper?”
I was in some kind of twilight sleep when I heard Blake call my name. Not really asleep, but not quite awake, either.
I blinked several times as I opened my eyes just as he took a seat on the other side of the bed.
Bolting upright, I noticed it was daylight, and the look on his face appeared harsh and tense. He was still in the same flannel pajama bottoms, so I assumed he’d just woken up.