by J. S. Scott
“I got pregnant twelve years ago. I know you used a condom, but something went wrong.”
“Do we have a child?” Blake asked cautiously.
I shook my head slowly. “No.”
“Old condoms,” he replied. “One of my buddies at college gave them to me once he’d found a girlfriend and was having a committed relationship. His girlfriend was on birth control. I don’t know how long he’d had them, but when I saw the box after I went back to college, they were expired. Latex breaks down after a certain amount of time has passed. I didn’t think much more about it because I never heard from you again.” He hesitated before he questioned in a gruff tone, “Why didn’t you call me? What happened?”
I took a deep breath and let it out, trying to relax before I explained. “I lost the baby. I had what’s called an ectopic pregnancy, where the fertilized egg gets stuck in the fallopian tube. It ruptured and I had to have emergency surgery. I can’t have children anymore, Blake. I’m infertile.”
I saw the flash of his eyes, and I could almost hear the questions forming in his mind. I’d wanted to make the explanation simple, but I could tell I wasn’t going to get away without answering more questions.
Harper
“Did you know you were pregnant?” Blake’s eyes were fierce and his jaw was set tight as he asked the question.
“I’d just found out,” I explained. “I’d barely come to terms with the fact that I was pregnant. And yes, I was going to tell you. You had the right to know. But I never got that far before I had to have surgery. The pregnancy was never viable. I found out after I had surgery that I had endometriosis in both of my tubes, and they were blocked. The doctor removed one of them, and tried to clean the other, but I have scar tissue now, and my gynecologist tested to see if an egg would pass. He said the chances are almost nil.”
“There are other ways. IVF?”
“Possible, but difficult. Blake, after I lost the baby, I was depressed. Despondent. I’m not sure I can go through something like that again. I wasn’t myself for several years.”
He took off his suit jacket and tossed it on the chair, and then put his arms around me and pulled me into his lap. “Did you want the baby when you thought the pregnancy was normal?”
I looked at him with puffy, red eyes, my tears still flowing. “Yes. Once I got used to the idea I was pregnant, I wanted it very much. I had the means to support the baby and still go to school, and I wanted it because…” I wasn’t even sure how to explain.
“Because it was ours,” he finished.
I nodded. “Because it was yours,” I corrected. “I couldn’t quite admit that to myself back then, but I know that it’s true.”
He used his thumb to wipe away some of the droplets from my cheeks as he asked, “Did you think for even a moment that you not being able to have a child would make any difference in the way I feel about you?”
“It makes a difference to me,” I admitted. “You said you wanted to be a father, and you’d make an amazing dad.”
“I don’t give a damn, Harper. I hate that you suffered, and I wish to hell you would have called me so I could have been there for you. But under the circumstances, I get why you didn’t. But we aren’t college kids anymore, and all I ever really wanted was you.”
“You’re going to want a family, Blake,” I protested.
“I can’t have one without you,” he said huskily, his eyes pleading with me to understand.
“You can’t have one with me either,” I said uncertainly.
“Harper, you’re everything to me. If I don’t have you, then I’ll have nothing.”
“I love you,” I blurted out, unable to contain my emotions any longer. God, I loved this strong, stubborn man who wouldn’t, and never had, let go.
I felt his big body shudder against mine. “I love you, too, baby. I’ve been trying to make you understand that since the moment I saw you again. There is no other woman for me. Never has been, and never will be.”
I wrapped my arms around his neck and hugged him tightly, resting my head on his shoulder. “So we’re basically screwed?”
“Sweetheart, I’ve been screwed since the day you looked up at me at that homeless shelter. But if you say you’ll be mine, I’ll be very happily screwed.”
I smacked his arm. “This isn’t something you can decide lightly, Blake. If you have me, you’ll probably not have any children.”
“Why can’t we just adopt a child, one of those homeless kids who need parents? Harper, a child doesn’t need my DNA for me to love him or her, and for us to be parents.” He nuzzled my neck, trying to comfort me.
I’d always wanted to adopt a child, and I’d planned on doing it as a single parent once I settled down. For many of the children who needed a home, one stable parent was much better than none. But the fact that Blake really didn’t seem to care if the child was a natural child of his made my heart soar with a happiness I hadn’t even dared believe could exist.
I could have Blake.
And we could have our family.
All I had to do was believe he’d be content with that.
I leaned back and tilted my head, staring into his warm, gray eyes, my heart melting like butter. “You could live with us never having a child of our own?”
“What’s the point of going through the process of trying to have one of our own when so many kids need a home?” he asked, sounding genuinely perplexed.
“God, you’re such an amazing man, Blake Colter,” I told him in an awed voice.
“I’m not that great,” he discounted. “Plenty of people adopt.”
Yeah. They did. But it was usually a decision that was made when there was no other option, or if they wanted to add to their family. But my wonderful, beautiful Blake wanted to do it just because it felt right. “I love you. I love you for your support, your understanding, and your generous heart. I love that you can accept me, even if I’m a little bit broken.”
“You. Are. Not. Broken.” His voice was graveled and raw. “Harper, I got you pregnant, and then I wasn’t there for you. You were seriously ill, and who was there?”
“Nobody,” I answered honestly. “I didn’t want my parents to know, and it happened so fast. The only one who knows is Dani, and I didn’t tell her until years later, when I knew I had too much scar tissue to be fertile.”
He pulled me back against his body and held me there, stroking a hand over my hair. “Stay with me, Harper. Never leave me again. I want to be there when you need me. I want you to marry me, and we will live happily-ever-after. I promise you. All I really need is you. Anything more is a bonus.”
“I love you,” I rasped into his shoulder. “I love you so much. I wanted you to have everything.”
“I do,” he said hoarsely. “I have her right here in my arms, and this time, she isn’t going anywhere.”
“No, I’m not.” I sighed happily. “Not at the moment, anyway. I do have to be back in Boston in a few days.”
He lifted me and placed a leg on each side of him until I was straddling him. “Then I guess I’d better get busy.”
I smiled down at him, a grin of pure happiness. “Doing what exactly?”
“Convincing you that if you marry me, I’ll keep you so happy that you’ll never feel like you’re missing out on anything,” he answered earnestly.
Oh, God. Like I’d be living anything except my wildest dream if Blake was mine? “And how do you plan on doing that, Senator Colter?” I asked mischievously.
“By making you come until you can’t move, even if you wanted to,” he informed me with a sexy grin.
My heart was racing as I started to unbutton his shirt slowly. “Maybe it should be my job to keep you happy. I am the one who left, and I desperately want to be with you for the rest of our lives,” I suggested.
“Don’t get me wrong, I’m all
for you doing that, but baby, all you really have to do is breathe to keep me wanting you. I’ve never stopped.” His voice was low and sinfully carnal.
When I reached the last button, I pulled his shirt open and put my palms on his muscular chest. Blake was hard all over, and all I wanted to do was melt into his warm, protective body. “I never stopped, either.”
He stood and pulled me up with him, holding me until I had my feet on the floor. He let me go to shrug out of his shirt, and I made short work of stripping right in front of him, letting him know that I had no secrets left. I was his, ready to bare myself to him—quite literally as well as figuratively.
I vowed that there would never be secrets between us again. If Blake could handle the fact that I could never have a child so effortlessly, then there was nothing we couldn’t handle together.
He watched me with a feral gaze as I got naked, removing the rest of his clothing without taking his stare away from me.
The air around us was sparking with sexual tension, but neither one of us spoke. We communicated with our bodies and our eyes. He understood exactly what I was trying to convey, and the moment I’d dropped my last article of clothing, he opened his arms.
I flowed into him, biting my lip to keep from moaning as we met skin-to-skin, and I wrapped my arms around his waist and stroked my hands up the heated skin of his back as he fisted a handful of my hair to jerk my head back so he could devour me with a kiss as carnal as he’d ever given me.
My body responded almost violently, turned on by how much he needed me and how vulnerable we were to each other.
I moaned into his mouth, desperate for him to join our bodies, but he released my lips and held onto my hair, trailing his mouth over every inch of bare skin he could find.
“Blake. Please. I need you,” I whimpered, spearing my hands into his hair.
My emotions were overflowing my body, and I needed an outlet fast.
“You’ll get me. Every inch,” he rasped, stepping back so his hands could cup my breasts, teasing each nipple before he moved down and delved his fingers between my thighs.
“Yes,” I breathed out encouragingly. “Touch me.”
I was already slick and ready for him, and I felt his body tense as his fingers slid easily through my folds. “Baby, you’re so ready for me.”
“I’ve been ready.” I slid my hand between us and palmed his hard cock.
“Don’t, Harper,” he groaned, pulling my hand away from him. “Right now I have to be inside you.”
He grasped me around the waist, picked me up, and moved me over to a console table, placing my hands flat on the surface after he let my feet touch the floor. “Hold on,” he demanded while he urged me to spread my legs with his feet.
I knew what he was going to do, and I was so ready for him, my core clenching at the thought of taking him as deeply inside me as possible.
I shivered in anticipation as he moved behind me, his hands stroking down my back and then my ass. His hand dipped between my parted thighs, massaging my clit sensually as I waited helplessly for him to take me.
“Blake. Please,” I begged, needing this to go hot, hard, and fast to sate the ache inside me.
He grasped a handful of my hair again, pulling my head up. “Watch,” he insisted. “Look at us while I make you come.”
I hadn’t noticed the mirror on the wall until he brought it to my attention. My eyes darted to his face. He was already watching me, and our eyes met and held in the mirror.
Blake’s naked desire and his molten silver eyes devoured my wanton image, and I had nothing to hide. Not anymore. I loved this man fiercely, and I’d never hold back my emotions from him again.
I shot a covetous look back at him and demanded, “Fuck. Me. Now.”
He snapped, his rough hands grabbing my hips, and with one quick thrust, he buried himself deep inside me, stretching me until I moaned with satisfaction. “Oh, God. Yes.”
I kept my head up myself, avidly watching Blake’s expression turn wild and hungry, the tension building as he pulled back and then surged into me again. “So wet. So tight. Jesus, Harper. I can’t get enough.”
“Take it all. Everything you want,” I encouraged him in a breathless voice, needing Blake to finally, after all these years, claim me forever.
“Mine.” The one word left his mouth covetously.
“Yes. I’ve always been yours. Take me.”
He started pummeling into me almost savagely, but I welcomed the punishing force and pace.
I needed this.
I needed him.
The harder he thrust, the fiercer our need, and my hands slid forward to grasp the outside edges of the solid wood console, feeling like I was losing my mind as our harsh breath and the sound of our bodies meeting were the only sounds in the room.
I felt my climax building to a strength that almost scared me as Blake’s face turned volatile and uncontrolled.
His hand slid from my hip to the front of my body, his fingers boldly delving into my pussy and stroking my clit as he continued his frenzied rhythm with his cock.
“Blake. Oh, God. I can’t,” I screamed.
“You can. Come for me,” he commanded.
I looked into the mirror, not quite recognizing myself in the carnal image as my orgasm took control of my body, rocking it to its core.
“Blake! I love you! I love you!” The words left my mouth in a scream of ecstasy that I couldn’t control.
“Yeah, sweetheart. Come for me.”
The pulsations were so intense, the spasms so strong that I could barely stay on my feet as Blake pounded into me a few more times before he finally found his own release with a groan. “I love you, Harper. It’s always been just you.”
I shuddered at his words and in the final throes of my climax, Blake pulled me back against his body, wrapping his arms securely around my waist so I wouldn’t fall.
He disconnected us and lifted me up, carrying me back to the couch before he put me back down again with my naked body draped over him.
I laid my head on his chest and listened as his heartbeat returned to a slower pace, my body sated and my heart filled with so much joy I could hardly breathe. I nuzzled his whiskered jawline and his neck. “Love you,” I repeated, not able to tell him enough now that I’d finally said the words.
“I love you, too. And we’re getting married,” he said gruffly, wrapping his arms protectively around my body.
I smiled. With no reason to object anymore, I answered, “Yes. Yes, we are. I’m never running away again.”
“Thank fuck,” he said in a relieved voice.
I laughed, wondering what his constituents would say if they could hear him cursing so freely.
He yawned, and I knew he was really exhausted. “Don’t you have a perfectly good bed here?”
He grinned up at me. “I do. A nice one. Would you like to see it?”
“Absolutely.”
He rose with me in his arms and a happy grin on his face that made my heart stutter.
Blake showed me his bedroom, and he did have a perfectly good bed.
Knowing I’d be sharing it with Blake forever made it better than good; it was spectacular.
Harper
Two Months Later…
“I’m pregnant.” There was no way to really ease into the fact that I was going to have Blake’s child, so I just threw it out there.
I’d waited until we could be back together in Rocky Springs to break the news to him in person. The ultrasound had confirmed that the egg had passed through the scarred tube against the odds, and I now had his baby growing in my womb. I’d been terrified when I went to get the scan, so afraid that I’d end up with another tubal pregnancy, but the worst hadn’t happened. After that, I’d been so excited to tell Blake that I’d almost blurted it out over the phone on my way b
ack from Boston to Colorado.
We were both fine with adopting, but this happy event just seemed like icing on an already very sweet cake.
The last two months had been crazy, both of us bending over backward to meet up whenever we could. I missed him so damn much when we weren’t together that my heart ached. So even if it was only for a day or two, I’d fly to Washington to see him, or he’d come to Boston just to spend a free day with me.
It had been the happiest period of time in my life. Blake spoiled me rotten, showering me with love and sweet little things that he’d picked up just because they somehow reminded him of me. I gave him back the love that he gave me, and did little things just to see him smile.
And he smiled often, making my heart skitter every single time. I had no doubt he was happy. And I’d be ecstatic if I never saw his beautiful eyes tortured and tormented ever again.
He turned and looked at me, forgetting all about the drink he was making to come back to the couch and sit beside me. “Did you really just say that you’re pregnant?” he asked, confused.
“I guess I should have said we’re pregnant,” I corrected with a tremulous smile.
“Shit! We have to go to the hospital,” he said in a worried voice as he started to rise.
I snagged his shirt, forcing him to sit back down. “You don’t understand. I’m fine. I had an ultrasound. I’m pregnant. A normal pregnancy for now. The doctor says it happens. Sometimes the tube doesn’t show as patent, but the egg makes it through.”
I watched as he raked a worried hand through his hair, causing those few unruly strands I loved so much to stand straight up on his head.
“Are you safe?” he asked, his brow still furrowed with concern.
My heart tripped as I saw the fear in his expression. I took his hand in mine as I reassured him, “It’s fine. I’m fine. But we’re going to be parents a little sooner than we planned.”
He looked pretty proud of himself as he finally started to grin. “We made a baby.” He said the words like we were the only couple to accomplish such a feat.
He moved our conjoined hands to rest on my still-flat abdomen.