by Devney Perry
“Do you want to call me when you get home?” I asked hopefully.
“It’ll be late,” he said.
“I’m two hours earlier than you are. I’ll be awake. You could tell me good night. We could talk for a while. Catch up.”
“Uh, maybe, but don’t wait up.” Papers shuffled in the background. “I might put in a long night and crash here on the couch.”
“I’m worried about you.” He sounded stressed and exhausted. “Don’t use my leaving as a reason to work yourself into the ground.”
“What the fuck else am I supposed to do, Emmeline? You left.”
“Logan, don’t,” I whispered.
“Sorry. I’m going to let you go.”
“Okay,” I sighed. “I love you.”
“Love you too,” he said quickly and hung up.
I stared at my phone for a second before tossing it onto the passenger seat. I hoped that call wasn’t indicative of others to come.
Logan and I had been together for the last five years. We’d met at a fundraising gala where I had been working for my father and he had attended as a guest, representing the extraordinarily wealthy Kendrick family.
I had been dancing with my father when Logan approached and asked to cut in. My father had gladly handed me over after telling me that I “wasn’t to fuck up his setup.”
I’d felt so confused at that moment. I hadn’t wanted to be with someone because he’d passed my father’s criteria as suitable boyfriend material, but I also hadn’t been able to walk away from Logan.
His white smile and handsome face had been irresistible. I’d been mesmerized by his deep brown eyes and the sight of his lean muscles wrapped perfectly in an expensive Italian tux. So I’d spent the rest of the night dancing in his arms, laughing as he’d told me embarrassing stories about some of the gala’s guests.
My separation from Logan was the only thing I regretted about moving to Prescott. He was an important part of my life and I didn’t want to lose him. I just hoped that after I got some space from New York, I’d have a better idea of which direction my life was headed. Until then, I needed to balance living in Montana and holding onto my relationship.
I’d work to find those small ways to connect with Logan. I’d call and text often, then email him when I could. And for myself, I’d focus on my students. I’d spend my nights in the peace and quiet of my new home, and I’d explore this new-to-me part of America.
I’d search for that elusive happiness I had been missing lately, hoping to find a piece of it here in Montana.
Two months had passed since my first day of school and I was preparing for another meeting with the Clearys. Sitting in my desk chair, I took a minute to look around the classroom, making sure everything was put away for the evening. Books and counting blocks would be strewn all over the alphabet carpet as soon as the kids arrived in the morning, but for now the room was neat and tidy.
A knock at the door stopped my inspection and I stood as the Clearys walked in.
“Hi, Gigi, Jess,” I said, smiling as they took a seat. “Thanks for coming in this afternoon.”
“No problem, Emmeline. Is something wrong with Rowen?” Gigi asked, nervously patting her protruding belly. Jess reached out and grabbed his wife’s hands.
She looked so much bigger than the last time I had seen her. She was either closing in on her due date or her baby was going to be huge.
“It’s nothing serious,” I told them. “Rowen is a wonderful and bright little girl. She’s full of energy and is so positive. But I did want to make you aware of a situation.”
Jess nodded as Georgia’s face paled.
“This really is nothing serious. Please don’t be worried. She’s been such a joy to have in my classroom these last two months. I just wanted you to be aware that I’ve had to reprimand Rowen a few times these last couple of weeks.”
“Oh, no,” Gigi muttered.
“I’ve had to get after her recently for using inappropriate language in school. I understand that children these days are exposed to cursing at home and from media outlets. I’m not trying to change what you say at home, but as it is kindergarten, I don’t want to let hints of bad language into the classroom.”
“I knew it!” Gigi cried before I could continue. She twisted to glare at Jess. “I knew this would happen, Jess! I’ve been telling you over and over again to watch the effing language in front of her. But you just keep on cussing. Saying you two have an understanding and if she repeats those words you’ll have to arrest her. Now look at where we are! If she’s not cussing, then she’s not even scared of jail anymore! What’s next? Drinking? Drugs? Look what you’ve done!”
“Georgia, relax and breathe,” he said. “You’re working yourself up and we don’t need you going into labor.”
I waved my hands to get their attention. “Actually, if I could interrupt . . .”
“Sorry,” Jess said as Gigi huffed and crossed her arms on top of her belly.
“No, I’m so sorry. I should have been more specific. Rowen is not cursing. She’s just using replacement words. And though they aren’t actually bad, I don’t want the kids getting in the habit of adding curses or placeholders to their sentences. We’re working on expanding their vocabulary and crafting complete phrases. Rowen adds one word in particular quite frequently. She says ‘eff’ a lot.”
Gigi’s jaw fell open.
Jess’s head tipped back and he roared with laughter.
The longer he laughed, the harder I fought the urge to laugh along with him. The guilty look on Gigi’s face was hilarious.
“You feel like telling me you’re sorry?” Jess asked Gigi with a smug grin after his laughter subsided.
“No,” she mumbled.
“We’ll have a talk with Roe,” Jess told me with a huge smile. He stood, then reached down to help Gigi from her chair.
“I’m so sorry, Emmeline,” Gigi said embarrassed. “This is my fault. I’ll be sure to tell Roe not to say it anymore.”
“I’d appreciate that. Again, it isn’t a huge deal but I wanted you to be aware that I’ve asked her to at least stop saying it in school.”
“Of course. I’m sure that she’ll stop just because you asked her. She adores you and has learned so much already. You’re a wonderful teacher.”
“Thank you.” I didn’t try and hide my smile.
My heart swelled at her compliment. I so badly wanted to be a good teacher. Her praise made all of the recent changes in my life worth the stress and anxiety. It reinforced that I’d done the right thing by choosing to pursue my dreams despite all of the protests from my family and friends.
And I loved hearing that Roe adored me because I cherished her too. Rowen Cleary was a bright, beaming light.
“Do you have any plans on Friday night?” Gigi asked before they reached the door. “We’re having a Halloween party at our farmhouse. I kind of go crazy on Halloween.”
“Kind of?” Jess muttered.
Gigi elbowed him in the ribs but smiled. “We’d love to have you over if you don’t have any plans. It’s nothing fancy. No costumes or anything. Just a bunch of us getting together after trick-or-treating on Main Street. Seven o’clock?”
My weeknights since moving to Prescott had consisted of reheating a frozen meal, unpacking a few boxes, infrequent phone calls with Logan when he could spare me the time and reading alone in bed until I fell asleep. Weekends had been spent doing much of the same, though I had been spending my Saturday afternoons exploring the downtown area.
For the first three weeks, I had thought that the quiet, restful evenings and weekends were amazing. But now that it had been over two months, I was getting lonely.
I’d had a hectic social calendar in New York. There had always been something to attend at least four or five nights a week. The weekends had usually been full of charity dinners and galas. I didn’t miss the hectic and crazy schedule, or the uncomfortable ball gowns, but I did miss being around people. Spending my days
with five- and six-year-old kids wasn’t satisfying my craving for social interaction.
So it was easy to answer Gigi’s question.
“I’ll be there.”
A night away from my house in the presence of other adults sounded like magic.
Nick
“What’s up, man?” Silas asked, handing me a bottle of beer in the farmhouse kitchen.
“Nothing much. Looking forward to getting Gigi all riled up about something tonight and watching Brick squirm trying to calm her down. He’s fucking freaked she’s going to go into labor early.”
My normally hard and stubborn friend, nicknamed for his size and solid mass, was falling completely apart over his very pregnant wife.
“Jess will kick your ass if you piss her off,” Silas warned.
“Worth it.”
I loved teasing my friend about the overprotective streak he had when it came to his wife, daughter and unborn son.
But joking aside, I was glad for Jess. He deserved all the joy that Gigi and Rowen had brought into his life. It had been nearly a decade since I’d met Jess and never once had I seen him as happy as he’d been since meeting Gigi.
That happiness was something I envied but had no desire to try and create for myself. The dream of having a family of my own had died a long time ago.
Silas nudged my shoulder. “Jess said they got called into the school today by Rowen’s teacher. Guess Roe has been saying ‘eff’ just like Gigi does. Teacher said she didn’t want the kids pretending to cuss.”
I burst out laughing. “That’s my angle then. Where’s Gigi?”
Silas tipped his chin and lifted his beer in the air. “She’s upstairs with Rowen and the teacher. Have you seen her yet?”
“Who? The teacher?” I asked as Silas nodded. “No. Why?”
“I know you don’t go for redheads but she’s fucking hot,” Silas said. “I’d make an exception to your rule. Has all this auburn hair. Beaming smile. Petite, little body.”
“No can do. No redheads for me. If she’s so hot, you go for her.”
Silas scoffed and shook his head. My friend had some issues when it came to women, or one woman in particular, so I wasn’t surprised that he preferred to stay out of the dating pool.
After taking a long pull of my beer, I wandered into the living room. The entire place was covered in decorations, inside and out. Gigi lost her mind on Halloween but at least some of them were funny. When I’d arrived earlier, I had laughed at the tombstones in the front lawn. One said “Hugh Jass – A Well Rounded Man” and another read “Bea Yotch – A Nice Lady”.
Stepping into Jess’s huddle, I clapped him on the shoulder then shook his hand. “Where’s your wife, Brick? I need to talk to her about her language.”
“Fuck you, Slater. Mention that to her and I’m kicking your ass.”
“Fine,” I said, holding my hands up in surrender. “I’ll leave it alone. Where’s Roe? I need to give my princess a kiss.” If I wasn’t razzing Jess about riling up Gigi’s temper, I was teasing him about Roe, who had a little-girl crush on me.
When Jess’s jaw clenched tightly, I laughed and turned to the stairs, hearing Gigi and Rowen coming down.
“Nick!” Rowen yelled and dashed over.
Bending at the waist, I looked into her blue eyes. “Hey, princess. Love the costume. Who are you this year?”
Twirling around in a blue dress, she said, “Princess Elsa from Frozen.”
“Hey, Nick,” Gigi said.
I stood to give her a hug but froze solid. The second I recognized the woman next to Gigi, that beautiful face, my heart stopped beating. Was she really here?
When her eyes hit mine, she inhaled sharply, her face paling as she clutched a hand to her heart.
Silas had described a lot of Emmy’s good features in the kitchen. Her hair. Her figure. He hadn’t mentioned her flawless, porcelain skin or her full, pink lips. Most importantly, he’d neglected to mention her eyes. Her best feature.
Gray with a hint of green in the centers. The circles rimming the irises were so dark they were almost black. I’d memorized the colors when she had been locked in my arms and I’d been buried deep inside her. Just hours after she had become my wife.
“Nick, this is my teacher, Ms. Austin,” Rowen said, tugging on my arm.
It took a few seconds of staring to process that she was standing right here in front of me. She wasn’t an illusion I’d dreamed up like so many times before.
Emmy hadn’t changed much. She’d only become more beautiful with time. Her hair was slightly longer and her face a bit thinner. Years of fantasies, and none had ever come close to the beauty before me.
Not once had I given into the temptation to Google her or find her number. I had stayed true to my vow to set her free. That and I knew I’d risk my own sanity by checking in on her. Learning that she’d found that life I had wished for her, one with a husband and kids, would have blown my already broken heart to smithereens.
“Nick?” Gigi asked, but I didn’t speak or take my eyes off Emmy. She was frozen just like I was.
Finally, Emmy broke away. “Sorry. I have to go,” she mumbled before racing to the door.
“What was that? Do you know her?” Jess asked.
None of my friends had ever learned about Emmy and what I’d done to her. Marrying her had been something I’d always kept a secret. Partly because I’d wanted those memories as my own. Partly because I was a fucking asshole and had abandoned her, even if it had been for her safety.
Yeah. I knew her.
“She’s my wife,” I said and then sprinted out the door, ignoring the shocked faces and surprised gasps coming from my friends.
“Emmy, wait!” Nick shouted, but I didn’t stop jogging toward my Jeep.
Just as I reached for the door handle, his hand grabbed my elbow and spun me around.
“Don’t,” I said, jerking my arm free. The night was pitch black except for the lights coming from the house and garage. But even the dark couldn’t dim the light shining from his eyes.
“Sorry,” he said, holding up his hands. “What are you doing here, Emmy?”
“Emmeline,” I corrected. He was the only person who had ever called me anything but my full name, and as much as I had loved it all those years ago, hearing it now was painful.
He frowned. “Emmy. What are you doing here?”
“I live here. What are you doing here?”
“I live here. Have for years.”
I swallowed an exasperated laugh. What were the chances? Of all the small towns in America, I had moved to the same one where my long-lost husband lived. A husband my private investigator had spent nine years unsuccessfully searching for.
Years had gone by and all I’d ever gotten were reports stating Nick’s whereabouts were unknown. A paid professional couldn’t find him but, here I was, standing in his space because I happened to pick Prescott as my home.
Shit.
Nick stared down at me, unspeaking. I was so shocked to see his face I didn’t know where to start or what to say. Apparently, he was having the same problem. Twice he opened his mouth to say something but then clamped it shut before words came out.
“Emmy—” he finally started but my ringing phone cut him off.
Scrambling to find it in my bag, I pressed the phone to my ear. “Hi, darling,” I told Logan. “Can you hold on one second?” I pinched the phone between my ear and shoulder, opening the car door to climb inside.
“We need to talk,” Nick said, reaching out his hand.
I flinched right before his fingers could touch me. I glared and shook my head furiously. He frowned but didn’t push.
My conversation with Nick was over for the night. I needed to regroup and get my head together before we had a discussion. I didn’t want to hear anything he had to say.
Not tonight.
“Emmeline,” Logan called after I slammed the car door.
“Sorry. I’m here,” I said, backing out of
the gravel lot, seeing Nick sidestep my car.
“Where are you?” Logan asked.
“I was at a Halloween party.”
“Did you have a good time?” A hint of disdain colored his voice. He was probably mad at the idea of me going to parties and making friends here in Prescott. Friends meant I was building a life here. Something he did not want.
My gaze traveled to Nick in my rearview mirror. He stood in the middle of the drive, legs planted wide with his arms crossed over his chest.
“No. I didn’t have a good time.”
I stood by my dark bedroom window, staring out into the black night.
The Montana nights were remarkably different from those in New York. Though, the same was true about almost every aspect of my life here in Prescott.
In the city, it was never really dark. Somewhere a light from a building or street lamp illuminated the shadows. But here there were no lights. Nothing interrupted the blackness.
Some people may have found it a bit frightening, but I loved that I could see up into the starry sky. I’d never known there were so many stars. My first night in Prescott, I’d stood outside for an hour, gazing up into the Milky Way.
But tonight, all the stars in the universe couldn’t light the blackness.
Nothing could have prepared me for seeing Nick tonight. The emotion was crippling.
I vaguely recalled my short conversation with Logan as I had sped home from the farmhouse. I had given him a quick account of the Clearys’ party but hadn’t mentioned Nick. I wasn’t ready to discuss the subject with Logan yet. First, I needed to get my own head wrapped around the concept.
Logan knew I had been married but he didn’t know any of the details. He also didn’t know that I was still legally bound to another man. That fact was not going to go over well.
What was I going to do?
Swiping my phone from an end table, I pulled up my friend’s number.
“Hey!” Steffie answered. “Meet any hot cowboys yet?”