by Bree Verity
Lydia and Penny sat silently side by side on their couch. Penny gave an uncomfortable laugh.
“Say something, Lydia,” she said. “What do you think?”
To Penny’s shock, Lydia started to cry.
“Lyddie? Honey, I’m sorry.”
“No, it’s not you,” said Lydia through her tears. “I’m just thinking back on that time, and I realise I didn’t think about you at all those school holidays. Then you told us you’d been to your grandmother’s and I didn’t want to talk about that, only about my own holidays. I thought going to grandmas sounded like the most boring holiday in the world.” Her voice broke on a sob. “Why didn’t you tell us what was going on?”
Penny shrugged. “It was all over and done with. I didn’t want to bother you with it.”
“It was not all over and done with,” replied Lydia, a catch in her voice. “And you could have used the shoulder to cry on.”
“I just wanted it all to blow over,” explained Penny. “You know, we had Year Twelve and it was so stressful all by itself, I didn’t want to worry you guys.”
“So instead you bottled it all up? For the next thirteen years?”
“Pretty much, yeah.”
Desiree returned with three steaming coffees. Over the years, they had all become adept at carrying all three coffees at once.
“You know what I think?” she said, as she carefully deposited the glasses on the table.
“What do you think?” Penny said the words lightly, however her stomach dropped. Desiree would not hold back from expressing her opinion, no matter how hard it would be for Penny to take.
“I think you’re an idiot.”
Penny barked a short laugh. “Okay,” she said.
“No, really. You’re an idiot.”
“Why’s that?”
“Because you had all these people around you who love you and want the absolute best for you, but you let your stupid pride and pretend humility stop you from letting us help you.”
Penny sat back, quick tears forming in her eyes. “You’re right, Des,” she said with a shaky voice. “Brutal, but right. I should have told you.”
“Bloody right you should have told us,” snapped back Desiree. “I can’t believe you’ve been sitting on this for so many years. It’s a wonder how you managed to stay sane for this long.”
A laugh escaped Penny’s lips. “Who says I have?” She retorted with a smile that fell from her face as she continued, “I am sorry, guys. I really am. You’re my best friends in the whole world, and I kept my biggest secret from you.”
“You’re sorry?” Interrupted Desiree. “Are you kidding? We’re sorry. For not being there for you. For not understanding the change in you. Can you remember, Lyddie? When we came back to Year Twelve? She was different. Quieter, more passive.”
“I remember,” said Lydia with a nod. “We talked about that, but then it kind of slipped away.”
“There was lots to think about that year.” Penny slid into her usual conciliatory role. “My personality change wasn’t that important.”
“Stop it,” said Lydia. “Pen, just stop. Listen to yourself. You are as important as anyone. We should have done something.”
Old Penny would have demurred, insisting that the strains and stresses of Year Twelve were enough to push everything out of her friend’s heads. But she knew they didn’t want to hear that. And she knew it was old Penny, working the guilt angle. What was is Pam had taught her? Acknowledge and move forward.
“You’re right, Lyddie. I am as important as you.” The words didn’t roll easily off her tongue, but she persevered. “And perhaps you should have done something. But we can’t live in the past. Maybe you can do something for me now?”
“Anything,” was Lydia’s reply, but alongside that, Penny heard Desiree’s suspicious, “What something?” And she had to smile.
“I’m having a naming ceremony for the baby on the weekend. Kind of a memorial and a sendoff.”
“We’ll be there,” confirmed Desiree, and Lydia nodded. Penny’s smile widened. All three of them were so different. Yet, when they were together, things just clicked. It was awesome.
Chapter Twenty-One
Penny allowed herself a satisfied smile the following day. Not only had she sorted things out with her parents, she’d also spoken to her friends. And while she was still scared to death of speaking out, she had to admit, it felt better once it was done.
So, this morning, she had another unresolved issue to confront. Taking a deep breath, she looked across the top of the fixtures to see if she could find Jim. There he was, at the far end of the store. She walked up to him, forcing her unwilling feet one in front of the other. She could feel herself shaking, from deep inside her chest to her cold hands.
But she gritted her teeth and pushed through. This was a conversation she had to have.
“Jim? Can I have a word?”
Jim nodded. “Sure, Pen. But can we make it later? I have this stock that needs to go out.” He indicated a stack of boxes and Penny’s stomach plummeted, before she rallied. After psyching herself up so much, after being brave enough to actually approach Jim like this, she couldn’t let the opportunity pass.
“Would you mind if we did it now, Jim? I can help you with the stock after we’ve chatted.”
Jim’s brows shot up in surprise.
“Well, okay Pen, if it’s that important.”
“It is,” she replied firmly.
She trailed along behind Jim as he made his way to his office and sat in his chair. Penny closed the door and sat opposite him.
“What’s up, Pen?” said Jim lightly, but with a sharp light in his eyes. “You’re not leaving me, are you?”
Penny laughed. “Leaving? No way. This is the best job I ever had.”
“This is the only job you ever had,” Jim reminded her, and Penny smiled at him fondly.
“Yes, it is, and it’s the only place I want to work. But Jim?”
She inhaled, and on breathing out, she fixed her eyes on Jim and said, “I think you should give me the store manager’s job.”
Jim’s smile beamed from his face. “Me too.”
Penny was caught off guard by Jim’s response.
“What was that?”
He leaned on the desk. “Me too. Pen, I’ve always planned to give you the job.”
A confused smile crossed her face. “You have?”
“Sure. No one else is more qualified. The only thing I was a little concerned about was whether you were too passive - whether the other staff would walk all over you.” He looked down at his hands, clasped together on the desk. “And when you told me to give the job to Gavin or Rach, I have to say, I very nearly did. But lucky for you, I held out a bit longer and look! You’ve come through for yourself. Good on you.”
“So, it was a test? Desiree was right?”
“That Desiree was always a bit too bright for my liking,” muttered Jim, and Penny chuckled.
“Well, this time around, you should be thanking her. If she hadn’t said anything, I would never have come back to talk to you about this.”
“In that case, she’s my favorite person. No, actually, you know what?”
“What?”
“You’re my favorite person. Apart from the wife, of course.” He left his chair and came around the desk to Penny’s side. She stood up, and Jim engulfed her in a hug. “You’re a good person, Penny. And I know you’ll take care of my store.”
She hugged him back, unable to wipe the grin off her face. “Thanks for this, Jim. You won’t regret it.”
“I better bloody not,” he retorted gruffly, letting her go. “Now, let’s get back to work. We have a bunch of boxes to unpack.”
Penny groaned. “You’re going to hold me to that promise, aren’t you?”
“Absolutely. Come on, princess. The stock won’t jump on to the shelves all by itself.”
With a good-natured groan, Penny shadowed Jim’s footsteps out the door.
“Most things are sorted,” Penny said, her brow furrowed, “except Marc. I still haven’t worked out what to do with him.”
Dr. Johnson nodded, clipboard on her lap, her severe navy suit reminding Penny of the sergeant-major that only a few weeks ago she thought she was like.
“So, what happened with your parents?”
Penny nodded. “You were right,” she said. “They came around. They’re busily organizing a naming ceremony for the baby even as we speak.”
“A naming ceremony? That’s a nice idea,” said the doctor, although Penny registered a slight dubious tone. “Is that what you want?”
“It was my idea,” replied Penny. “Sort of an acknowledgment, then a letting go.”
“That sounds familiar.” The doctor’s ironic tone reached Penny, and she giggled.
“Yes, it’s something that I learned from you.” She smiled at the therapist. “Along with a bit of assertion, which has come in handy.”
“Oh?”
“I asked my boss to give me the store manager’s job, and he agreed,” replied Penny. “He was just waiting for me to back myself.”
“That’s great, Penny. Well done.” Dr. Johnson scribbled some notes down and Penny tried to read them upside down. She couldn’t, but it didn’t bother her any more what the doctor wrote. She felt like she had taken some great strides ahead in the past few days.
“Okay, so last week you said you wouldn’t tell your friends, in case you got a response like your Mum.”
“Yes, well, once Mum came good, I was all fired up to talk to them about it as well, so I did.”
“And?”
“As I expected, I did get a bollixing from Desiree,” admitted Penny, “but in the end, after a couple of cups of coffee, we worked it all out.”
The doctor nodded, writing again. Penny sat quietly as she did, allowing the feelings of accomplishment to wash over her while Dr. Johnson finished her sentence with a flourish.
“Alright, Pen, and what about the theater ghost?”
“The ghost? Oh, he’s still pinching the handkerchief from the props table but all in all, he’s been kind of quiet. We had to ask the leading lady to leave, because it turned out she was the one stealing things from the other performers.”
“That must have been a bit disappointing.”
“It always is, when everyone else is really working hard. But, you know, it’s done now, and the air is cleared and we’re moving on.”
“Did you have someone to replace her?”
“Oh, there’s usually several someones in the cast who are eager to step up,” laughed Penny. “We had a replacement the same day, I think.” Amber had stood in for Cerise that first rehearsal when Cerise had been asked to leave, and she just seemed the natural replacement.
“So, everything has worked out for the best then?”
“All except Marc. But I don’t know there’s really anything I can do there. He pretty much made up his mind what he wanted to do in a split second, didn’t want to talk about it, just wanted to leave.”
“That must have been rough.”
“It was. It still is.” Penny grinned ruefully at Dr. Johnson. “It’s pretty uncomfortable around the theater with the both of us being excessively polite to each other. And because the whole thing had played out under the spotlight, everyone there knows what’s going on.”
“A little bit awkward?”
“Just a little.”
“And have you had any attacks?”
For a moment, Penny was surprised. “No, I haven’t,” she said. “That’s a bit of a wonder, isn’t it? I mean, with all the things that have been happening, I should be going off all over the place.”
“Perhaps because you’ve addressed some of the reasons for your stress, the attacks have leveled off.”
“I hope so,” replied Penny. “They are pretty nasty.”
“I’ll give you some more breathing and relaxation exercises, so you can practice them, and if another attack does come, you’ll be well prepared to head it off. Also, keep up the assertiveness.” The doctor took off her glasses. “You’re doing really well, Pen, but just be aware, won’t you? Panic attacks like to reappear just when you think everything is fine. And sometimes they can happen for no reason at all.”
Penny nodded. “I’ll pay attention,” she said, “but really? I’m feeling great.”
And she was. About everything except Marc. He was the one thorn still in her side.
But really, if Marc was the only problem left, she was proud of herself for having faced off against the monsters her life threw at her and won. She smiled to herself.
Things were looking up.
Chapter Twenty-Two
It was quiet in the greenroom. Most of the actors were on stage, so for the first time that day, Penny could relax for a moment in the relative silence. There were still muttered conversations and pages being rustled where the actors were still thumbing through their scripts, but apart from that, a kind of sleepy stillness fell over Penny, only for her to be brought back to attention by a crash from inside the dressing room.
She rushed in to find Amber kneeling on the floor, the contents of her handbag strewn across the floor. She was frantically sweeping them up and returning them to the black bag. Penny bent and picked up a lipstick that had rolled to the doorway, taking a couple of steps into the room so she could hand it to Amber.
Amber, apparently startled by Penny’s appearance in the room, looked up quickly, and took the lipstick from Penny’s outstretched hand. “Thanks,” she said.
“It’s so annoying when you do stuff like that,” commented Penny affably. “But at least it forces you to clean all the crap out of your bag!”
“True,” replied Amber with a quick smile. She stood, placing the bag back on the bench. Penny smiled back at her and left the room. She still felt a bit guilty over having snapped at Amber at the bump-in. Amber had been pretty short with her since then. She really needed to clear the air with her. Not right now, though. Amber was supposed to be changing costumes, not having a heart to heart with the stage manager.
Penny grinned to herself. Previously, she would have been shaking like a leaf at the thought of having that kind of a conversation. But now? She still didn’t think it would be particularly pleasant, acknowledging her own mistakes, she was confident she would manage the conversation with no problems.
Several of the other actors came offstage and went into the dressing room. Some of the younger girls would congregate in there to gossip, and Penny knew she would have to shush them a couple of times over the next few minutes.
But their conversation, sailing over the partitions of the room, made her frown.
“Hey! What happened to my handbag?” she heard one of the girls say. “It looks like it’s been tipped upside down or something.”
Penny expected Amber to speak up, to say she had spilled it by accident, but she didn’t.
Then something odd struck Penny. Amber hadn’t corrected her when she had intimated that the handbag was hers. Surely, if it was someone else’s bag, she would want to make it clear that she had accidentally tipped it over. Why wasn’t she speaking up?
“Wait a minute! My keys are gone!”
Penny frowned and strode into the dressing room. Amber sat in a chair by the mirror, conspicuously ignoring everything that was happening. She glanced up and looked at Penny in the mirror, her eyes hard.
New, assertive Penny made her presence felt.
“Amber, that was the handbag you upset, right?”
Amber stayed silent as the others in the room turned to her, mouths agape.
“Why didn’t you mention that it wasn’t yours?”
All the pieces finally clicked into place. Cerise’s confusion when she was accused. Amber’s startled expression when Penny came into the room. Her lack of explanation now.
“You’re the thief aren’t you? It’s always been you. Why would you do that? And why would you let Cerise take the b
lame?” Then Penny realised. “Would you really go to those lengths to get the leading part?”
Amber’s mouth curved into a cruel smile. “Only when I’m a much better actor. And it worked didn’t it?”
“Did it?”
The other girls crowded around Amber.
“I’d like my keys back,” said the owner of the black bag, holding out her hand.
After a long, belligerent look, Amber said, “Fine,” and, pulling her backpack on to her lap, she opened it. Penny and the others gasped.
The backpack was full of stolen items - small props, costume pieces and right there on top, a set of keys. The other girl snatched them away.
“Can you empty it out, please,” said Penny. With a glare, Amber tipped the bag upside down, letting the contents fall on the floor. Right at the bottom, the lace handkerchief floated out. Amber frowned.
“I don’t remember taking that,” she said.
“But you do remember taking all the rest of it?”
“Of course I did,” Amber replied irritably. “What a stupid question.”
“You know you’re going to have to leave, right? And we’ll have to report you to the police.”
Suddenly, Amber was beside Penny, grasping her sleeve, her eyes full of contrition. “Please don’t go to the police,” she begged. “I’ll do anything.”
Penny was impressed. Amber was, indeed, a much better actor than Cerise. But she wasn’t convinced by the girl’s performance.
“We have to tell them. They have an open investigation about this.”
Amber seemed to wilt for a moment then, in a quick movement, she grabbed her empty backpack and ran to the greenroom door. Wrenching it open, she ran out into the car park.
“She’s not going to get away with it, is she?” one of the girls asked Penny anxiously.
“No,” replied Penny with a smile. “We have her name and address and contact details. She’ll be caught.”
From the stage, Penny could vaguely hear Jane shouting, “Amber! You missed your cue!” She smiled grimly.