by Paige Tyler
Triana shook her head. She couldn’t talk about it right now. Besides, what could she say? That Remy had already been in love and didn’t want to go there again? That she had no desire to be with a man who didn’t want her? That she had no idea how she felt about a man with fangs and claws? It was more than she could put into words.
“I’m tired, Mom. I just want to go to bed,” she said.
“Of course, go ahead.” Her mother stood up with her and came around to her side of the table to hug her. “I love you, baby girl.”
She hugged her mom back just as tightly. “I love you too.”
Triana didn’t bother with a flashlight as she headed for her bedroom, since she knew the way by heart. As she passed the staircase, she felt the same pull she’d experienced in Lee’s living room. She stopped to look down the stairs and saw Remy sitting on the bottom step, an empty bowl and plate beside him, his back to her like he was guarding the entry to the apartment, guarding her and her mother.
As if sensing her, he turned his head and Triana caught a glimmer of gold in the darkness. The urge to go downstairs, wrap her arms around him, and tell him how much she appreciated what he’d done for her and her mother was overwhelming.
She pushed the impulse aside and headed down the hall toward her bedroom. Walking past the place where she and Remy had made love a few nights ago brought tears to her eyes, and she hurried the last few feet to her bedroom.
The hot shower felt good but didn’t do much to make her feel any better. Drying off, she dragged on a long sleep shirt and climbed into bed. She lay there, staring into the dark and listening to the wind and rain batter the window as she replayed everything that had happened that day over and over in her mind. It was difficult to reconcile the Remy she knew—or thought she knew—with the glowing yellow eyes, claws, fangs, growls, and violence she’d seen.
She tried to force herself to go to sleep so she wouldn’t have to think about Remy anymore, but her stomach rolled like the dirty Mississippi, refusing to give her a moment of peace.
* * *
Remy and Max stopped at the NOPD SWAT facility to change into dry uniforms and get something to eat before they headed back out to help the city’s residents recover from the storm. They’d been out since six that morning, helping deliver food and water to evacuation centers, clearing streets and storm drains of debris, and handling traffic control for the crews repairing downed electrical lines. The storm hadn’t been as bad as it could have been, but it was still cloudy with occasional bands of rain moving through, and there were still a lot of people who needed help. It would have been rewarding work if Remy hadn’t felt so crappy. His stomach was tied in a frigging knot and he was exhausted as hell.
He was walking past the main conference room when he caught sight of Lorenzo, Drew, Brooks, Cooper, Alex, and several of the local SWAT officers sitting around the table, shuffling though dozens of thick manila folders. Cooper and Alex had arrived in town around two a.m. and spent the night sleeping on the floor of Gemma’s shop with the rest of them. They’d volunteered to come in this morning and help out the NOPD any way they could.
“I’m going to see if they have an update on Lee and Quinn,” Remy told Max. “Grab me something to eat, will you?”
Max nodded. “Will do. I really doubt those two scumbags are hanging around the city, though. They were probably scurrying across the border into Mexico before the storm even passed.”
While Max was probably right about Lee and Quinn not hanging around, Remy couldn’t imagine Lee scurrying anywhere. Quinn, yes. But Lee? No way. The man would have some kind of well-thought-out and cushy evacuation plan already put into place for a situation like this. Something involving a fancy yacht or a private jet. Remy wasn’t taking any chances. That’s why he had Zane stay at Gemma’s shop. If Lee decided to make one more run at Triana and her mother before leaving town, he was going to get a rude awakening.
“Any sign of Lee or Quinn?” Remy asked as he sat down in the empty chair beside Cooper with an audible squishing sound.
On the other side of the table, Brooks glanced up from whatever he was reading. “You’re going to turn into a fish if you keep getting this wet all the time.”
“Yeah, no kidding,” Remy said. “So, any word?”
Drew shook his head. “Nothing yet. But we have alerts at all the travel hubs and border crossings. They’ll pop up on the radar soon, especially if they’re together.”
“On the bright side,” Lorenzo said, “we’ve already started getting results back from the search warrants we served this morning. When we find Aaron Lee and Shelton Quinn, they’ll both be heading to jail for a very long time.”
That was great, but Remy would have preferred if he and his pack mates had gotten Lee yesterday during the shoot-out at the gatehouse. Unfortunately Lee and his muscle-headed bodyguard had jumped in their vehicle and hauled ass the moment they’d seen Remy and Brooks running at them faster than humans were supposed to. Then Brooks did his signature move and slammed his shoulder into one of the SUVs. Seeing a guy tackle a car would take the fight out of anybody.
After filling them in on the early results of the search warrants, Lorenzo told them Roth had come through surgery early that morning and would make a full recovery.
“Okay, I don’t know about anyone else, but I could use something to eat,” the narcotics detective said when he finished. “Let’s pick this back up after lunch.”
Everyone but Drew got up to join him. Remy stayed behind as well. To say he’d been frustrated yesterday when Drew had gone with them to Lee’s house to rescue Triana was an understatement, but when the questions had started coming hard and fast after the fact, he’d been glad the man was there. Drew knew people in the Kenner PD, knew who needed to get involved, and, most important, knew how to push the right buttons to keep the attention focused on Lee and Quinn and the fact that they’d attempted to kill an undercover police officer and had kidnapped Triana.
In the end, Drew had definitely kept Remy and his pack mates out of a lot of hot water—not just by smoothing the feathers that had been ruffled by having out-of-state officers conducting a raid in their city, but also by not saying anything about what he’d seen Remy and the other werewolves doing during the raid.
“I never did get a chance to thank you for everything you did yesterday,” Remy said quietly. “You covered for us when a lot of people might not have.”
Drew met his gaze across the table. “You mean the part where I didn’t mention the fact that you guys are part of a pack of werewolves?”
Remy tried his best not to let his surprise show, but he was pretty sure he failed. He considered denying it, but what would be the point? Drew had obviously seen what they were. Brooks had tackled an SUV ten feet away from him. Still, it was a big leap from seeing something strange to calmly acknowledging they were part of a pack of werewolves.
Wait a minute…part of a pack?
Clearly, Drew knew more than it appeared.
“How long have you known about us?” Remy asked.
Drew leaned back in his chair. “I figured out back while I was still in Dallas on the SWAT team that Gage was different. I’d see him do things a normal person shouldn’t be able to do. At first I thought he was juicing on steroids or something like that, but then I saw a blitzed-out junkie shove a piece of rusty rebar through Gage’s thigh. He pulled it out like it was nothing. When I saw him the next day in shorts and a T-shirt at morning PT, there wasn’t a mark on him. That’s when I figured out it wasn’t simply a case of better living through chemistry.”
The NOPD SWAT commander fell silent as a group of his officers walked past the door with paper plates in their hands, the mouthwatering scent of sausage and crawfish gumbo following them.
“Not long after that, Gage took over the team and I noticed the new people he brought in were as unique as he was,” Drew continued. “
Gage was different, and the team he was putting together in Dallas was built with that difference in mind. I’m a good SWAT officer, and working with Gage made me even better, but I saw what he was trying to do. I knew I wouldn’t be able to hang with those guys for long. When the opportunity to apply for this position here in New Orleans opened up, I moved on it, and Gage helped me get it. He did the same for every officer who ultimately transferred. I always appreciated that.”
Remy considered that. “Going from what you’d seen to knowing about werewolves and packs still seems like a big leap.”
Drew laughed. “That part I learned once I got here. You work in New Orleans long enough and you start learning all kinds of new things—if you’re willing to open your eyes and see them. Believe it or not, werewolves aren’t that weird compared to some of the stuff I’ve run into.”
Remy wasn’t sure what to say to that. This wasn’t the direction he’d expected this conversation to go. “I have to admit, you’re taking this way better than I think most people would.”
Triana came to mind.
“Probably not any better than the average person on the street.” Drew regarded him thoughtfully. “You should have more faith in people. Most of them would surprise you with how accepting they can be if you give them a chance.”
Remy was still considering that when Drew stood up and announced he was going to go hunt down some of that gumbo he’d been smelling. Remy nodded, saying he’d join him later. He was wondering if he should change into a dry uniform before he did, when Cooper walked in with two plates of steaming food and plunked one down on the table in front of him.
“You should eat,” Cooper said as he sat down across from him. “You look like shit.”
Remy snorted as he opened the plastic-wrapped utensil set Cooper tossed him. “Thanks for that. Nice to see you too.”
“Just pointing out the obvious.” Cooper dug into his gumbo and rice like he hadn’t eaten in a week. “You know me. Truth and sarcasm are just two of the many services I provide.”
Remy chuckled as he slid his plate of food closer. You could always count on Cooper, the Pack’s explosives expert, to interject a heavy dose of snark into any situation. The guy simply couldn’t carry on a normal conversation without slipping in at least one smart-ass comment. Remy had no idea how his new bride put up with him.
He ate a big forkful of gumbo, then immediately decided he didn’t want another bite. While the food looked amazing and smelled even better, it tasted like dirt. He shoved the plate away with a growl of frustration.
Cooper looked at him. “Max mentioned you weren’t feeling so well lately. No appetite, huh?”
Remy shook his head. “Not really. I guess I’ve been pushing myself too hard and it’s starting to catch up to me.”
As lies went, it wasn’t bad. In fact, it sounded so logical Remy almost found himself believing it. Unfortunately, Cooper didn’t.
“Is that the line you’re going with? That you’re overworked?” Cooper said, not even slowing down in between bites. “You don’t think the way you’re feeling might have something to do with what’s going on between you and Triana?”
“No,” Remy insisted.
There was no way he was talking to Cooper about Triana. He was doing everything he could to put her behind him. Remembering the way she’d recoiled from him after the raid at Lee’s home definitely helped accomplish that. It was obvious she couldn’t even stand to look at him. Rehashing everything wasn’t going to help.
“Really?” Cooper lifted a brow. “Because Max mentioned you started feeling sick when you decided to push her away.”
“Max says a lot of shit he should keep to himself,” Remy muttered, slamming his fist down on the table and growling loud enough everyone in the whole facility probably heard it.
He regretted lashing out immediately, but Cooper didn’t seem fazed at all. Instead, he regarded Remy thoughtfully.
“Fear leads to anger,” Cooper said softly. “Anger leads to hate. Hate leads to suffering.”
Remy stared at him. Where the hell did Cooper get this stuff? It sounded deep as shit, but surprisingly, it actually made sense. “Did you just make that up?”
Cooper shook his head and ate another forkful of gumbo. “Nah, that was Yoda. But it seems to fit. It’s obvious you’re scared to commit to a relationship with Triana, and that fear is leading you down a path of one dumb-ass decision after another. You’re feeling like this because you’re making a mistake. And while the rest of humanity has the free will to make all kinds of dumb-ass mistakes, there are some decisions that are essentially out of a werewolf’s hands, like who they end up loving.”
Remy ground his jaw. He wanted to tell Cooper he didn’t love Triana, but the thought of denying it made him sick. “So you’re trying to tell me I have no say in this? That werewolves don’t get to make a decision that’s in the best interest of everyone involved? That I can’t walk away from Triana if I know being with me is going to get her killed?”
His hands shook as he said the words, pain and queasiness radiating out from his stomach in waves. This must be what it feels like to be a junkie trying to come down from a drug the body is sure it needs to exist. That’s what it felt like Triana was, something he needed in order to live.
Remy got a grip and pushed that thought away. Getting involved with Triana had already gotten her kidnapped and almost killed. He might carry a gris-gris bag, but in every way that mattered, he was cursed. If he gave in, something else bad was going to happen to the woman he cared for more than anything in the world.
No matter how crappy he felt at that moment, he wasn’t going to turn his back on his promise to never let that happen again.
Cooper reached over and grabbed Remy’s uneaten plate of gumbo. “Don’t get me wrong,” he said as he ate. “You have the free will necessary to walk away from Triana. It’s just going to come with a price.”
Remy gritted his teeth as a particularly bad spasm of pain rushed through him, almost making him double over. Shit, he’d been shot before and it hadn’t hurt like this. He wondered if this might actually be something that ended up killing him. Then decided he didn’t care.
“That’s a price I’m willing to pay,” he said.
“That’s cool. Be a hard-nosed badass, then.”
Cooper finished the second helping of gumbo, then picked up both paper plates and walked over to toss them in the trash can. A moment later, he came back and leaned down over the table, his face inches from Remy’s. “There’s just one thing you might want to consider as you’re suffering stoically in your misery.”
Remy looked up at the other werewolf, not liking anyone this close to his grill. “What’s that?”
“What makes you think you’re the only one hurting like this?” Cooper asked. “You ever consider that maybe the suffering goes both ways? Think about that.”
Straightening to his full height, Cooper walked out of the room, leaving Remy alone with his doubts, his fears, and his regrets.
Chapter 18
Triana sat at the small table in her mother’s kitchen, doing her best to eat breakfast, but the mere sight of the egg white omelet her mother had cooked made her feel ill. Out of the blue, a little voice in her head screamed out two words.
Morning sickness!
She told herself to chill out even as her pulse skyrocketed. No matter how queasy her stomach felt, she wasn’t pregnant. For one thing, she and Remy had used protection every time. For another, women didn’t usually get morning sickness so quickly. So, unless there was something about sleeping with a werewolf that invalidated the normal rules of conception, she was fine. Besides, she didn’t only feel like this in the morning. She’d felt crappy since Wednesday night. It didn’t escape her notice that she’d first begun feeling this way when things with Remy had fallen apart.
She had no idea exactly what that me
ant, but something told her it couldn’t be a good thing.
“Is Remy still downstairs?” she asked.
Her mother came over to the table with two mugs of coffee and sat down at the table opposite Triana. The power was back on, which meant the coffeepot was functional, so her mother was happy. Triana picked up her mug and took a sip.
Her mom shook her head. “Remy left already.”
Triana’s stomach lurched. “He went back to Dallas?”
“No. Some of their pack mates came in during the night to help with cleanup efforts in the city. I made them breakfast before they left, and let me tell you, those boys can eat. We’re out of nearly everything. I’m going to have to make a run to the grocery store later.”
Triana nodded, her heartbeat returning to normal as she realized Remy hadn’t left town yet. She really did have it bad for him. It was over between them, yet she was nearly having a panic attack at the thought of him leaving town without saying anything to her.
On the other side of the table, her mother regarded her with a knowing look.
“Is it that obvious?” Triana asked.
“That you’re in love with Remy? Yes, that part’s obvious. What isn’t so clear is what the heck is going on between the two of you.”
Triana picked up her fork but didn’t eat. Instead, she pushed her eggs around on the plate, trying to figure out where to start.
“I think I fell in love with Remy when I turned around and saw him standing there that first night at the club,” she said softly. “That might not sound like a big deal to you, considering how fast you and Dad got married, but for me, it was out there. I started thinking crazy things, like how I could see myself being with Remy for the rest of my life. I thought Remy felt the same way.”
“But?” her mother prompted.
Triana felt tears burn her eyes. “But a couple of days ago, something happened. I felt this weird…pop…I guess you’d call it. Like the connection between us broke. I’ve never experienced anything like it, but I knew in my heart something had changed and that Remy was pulling away.”