The muscle in the side of Craig’s cheek flexed, accentuating his clenched jaw. “Not to you,” he snarled, no longer sure if he could or would ever call Hamish a friend again. “I will not let her get anywhere near you. You would only hurt her.”
Hamish shook his head. “What scares you more—that you know I wouldn’t? Or that she just might choose me?” Shrugging his shoulders, he leaned back on his hands and recrossed his ankles. “But again, it doesn’t matter. She knows there will be other men. I’ve proven that your friendship with her is not the only one she could ever have with a man.”
“You know nothing of our bond. If you did, you would know that our friendship is not something either of us will ever abandon.”
“You are family, so your friendship will endure, but eventually she will not need it. She has tasted passion and has learned independence. Someday she will desire someone else and will want to rely on him. And you will have no say.”
Craig’s anger was evolving into terror. “She loves me,” he said, rebutting Hamish’s prediction.
“But you don’t love her,” Hamish accused. “Or maybe I should have said, you don’t love her enough.”
Craig stared at Hamish in fulminating silence, knowing there was no point arguing. The truthful words felt like stones pummeling his body. Wishing Hamish would get to his feet so he could deck him again, Craig just glared at him. But Hamish refused to move, and Craig knew that the damn man would remain on the ground until he left. Pivoting, Craig grabbed the reins to his horse and went to get Merry.
“She’s not going to talk to you.”
Craig ignored him. Meriel would talk to him. He would give her no choice. He was not sure what he intended to say, but he just knew he had to convince her to stay away from Hamish.
As if able to read Craig’s mind, Hamish shook his head and said, “You are about to be either very smart for once or unbelievably stupid. And I don’t think even you know just which one you are going to choose.”
Clutching Merry’s reins in his left hand, Craig mounted his own horse and headed in the direction Meriel had gone. As he passed Hamish, he paused and said, “I know just which one you hope I choose. But know this. Meriel will never be yours.”
Completely unfazed, Hamish stared back, his eyes level and unwavering. “This is the last time I shall ever step aside regarding Meriel. I shall become serious in my pursuit. As long as she is free, I will seek to claim her heart as my own.”
Half in anticipation, half in dread, Craig left to find Meriel.
Craig followed Meriel’s trail, thinking she had returned to McTiernay Castle despite her threat not to, for her footprints led in that direction. Located high over a ravine, the castle’s immediate surroundings were rocky, uneven, and hazardous for even the most experienced of riders, limiting traversable paths in and out of the stronghold to two. The larger, more well-used path bent around the curtain wall and headed north, into the village and the majority of the nearby farms. The second veered south toward the training fields, forest, and the loch. But where the ground became grassy, the use of the path was less critical, and Meriel had opted to stray off it, either unaware or uncaring that it was easy to see where she had gone.
Craig approached the loch and searched the area where she and Hamish had picnicked, but only when he looked farther down the shoreline—closer to the forest’s edge—did he see her sitting on the ground. He frowned. It looked grassy, but the pebbles on the shore had to be uncomfortable. Sliding off his horse, he tethered his and Meriel’s mounts, freed the blanket under her saddle, and took a deep breath before coming close enough to get her attention.
He stopped two feet away, and he had no doubt that she could see him and knew he was there. When she ignored him, he stretched out the blanket on a grassy spot next to her. “Here, sit on this.”
For a moment, he believed Meriel was going to continue to ignore him. Then she spoke. “Leave me in peace. I do not wish to see or talk to you.”
Craig grimaced. That was not how he had hoped to begin this conversation, but he should have expected it. Crossing his arms, he said, “Wasn’t it you who criticized me only this morning for refusing to talk, even when it was so blatantly obvious that we needed to?”
Meriel twisted her neck to look directly at him, keeping the rest of her body perfectly still. Nothing moved, only wisps of her hair caught by a sudden warm breeze. It was strangely chilling. “I also wanted us to be candid with one another.”
“I’m ready to be honest,” he replied, unable to hide the tension he felt.
Meriel narrowed her eyes and then suddenly rolled them in disgust. She returned her gaze to the water, continuing to ignore the McTiernay plaid he had laid down for her. “You still believe you have the right to be angry, when it is clearly mine.”
“You’re cross? With me?” Craig interjected, furrowing his brows in surprise. “About what? That I caught you and Hamish embracing where anyone in the world could have chanced upon you? Or was it that I punched him as he deserved for daring to treat you like . . . like . . .” At his unspoken insult her gaze shifted back to him. Her green-and-gold eyes flashed with suppressed anger, warning him to be careful what he uttered next. Part of him wanted to heed the silent counsel, but he believed she needed to hear what he had to say. “Like another one of his many conquests, not like Rae Schellden’s daughter!” he finished defensively. “You and I both know your father would have given Hamish far more than a simple tap on the chin.”
Meriel jumped to her feet and faced him, her back ramrod straight. How dare Craig spin this around on her! The man was impossible. “I am furious, not cross,” she began, ignoring the accurate charge about her father’s reaction. In her mind, Craig had given up any right to be outraged in her father’s stead. “You did not chance upon me. You were spying, just like you have been doing since you arrived here. Watching me wherever I go just in case someone else has the nerve to appreciate what he finds.”
Craig’s normally bright eyes darkened to angry blue-black thunderclouds. “You knew I was out there. Everything you did was so that I would watch you. So if I spied something you now wish I had not, you have no one to blame but yourself.”
Meriel snorted and crossed her arms. “Oh, I knew you were out there. So did Hamish and probably half the castle staff. But as far as my wanting you to be there? Why would I? You and I talked this morning, and we parted accepting what we are to each other. This afternoon was about me and my desires—not you. Remember? You and I are nothing but friends. First by your choice, and now by mine.”
Craig’s voice was cold when he finally spoke. “I am your friend. A good friend who happens to know Hamish extremely well. I have every right to strike him for kissing you. I’m still debating whether or not I should do more.”
“Did you see me struggle?” Meriel challenged, spreading her arms out. “It was a kiss! No doubt you have seen much more on those fields without giving it a single thought.”
A tense silence filled the space between them. The crease between his dark brows grew deeper and the lines that bracketed his mouth tightened. Raking a hand through his hair, Craig finally exploded. “You were kissing Hamish! You know him. And more importantly, he knew better than to misuse one of Laird Schellden’s daughters.”
“He was not misusing me. Is it truly beyond your ability to comprehend that someone might be sincerely interested in me?”
“We are not talking about someone; we are talking about Hamish. He may be loyal to Conor, but to women? The man enjoys them and then forgets their names—often on the same night.”
Meriel waited until Craig was looking at her directly before she countered his argument. “Hamish asked me to marry him.”
Craig scoffed. “And you believed him to be serious?”
“I did.”
The cold gravity in her tone caught him by surprise and several thoughts hit him at once, none of them good. Ice spread throughout his veins as he recalled Hamish’s demeanor as he lay ther
e on the grass, refusing to get up and engage him. The man had been infuriatingly relaxed. He had been his typical good-natured self, but with a touch of solemnity, which had made his pledge to pursue Meriel sound uncomfortably sincere. Craig had already decided to move back his and Meriel’s departure time, but now he was fighting the impulse to throw her over his shoulder and set out tonight. The only thing preventing him from doing so was that she was here, at the loch, by herself. Unless . . . she had not refused Hamish’s offer of marriage and had just asked for time to think about it.
Craig’s heart stopped for a second and then started again, slamming uncomfortably in his chest as fear swept through him. “You’d better have refused him,” he said in a raw, harsh voice.
Meriel could see the mixture of pain and panic etched in Craig’s face, but it provided no salve for her own aching heart. “This time.”
Her tone was hard, exact, and terrifyingly distant. Craig could feel part of him slipping away, and somehow he knew that when it was gone, he would not be able to get it back. In an instinctive urge to do something—anything—Craig grabbed Meriel’s shoulders and pulled her into his arms so that she collided with his chest. When she opened her mouth to protest, he took advantage and smothered her words, moving his lips forcefully against hers.
As soon as he tasted her, his body reacted and he plunged inside her mouth again and again, drinking in her essence, needing to replace the pieces of his soul that were being ripped away. Realizing Meriel was no longer resisting, he moved his hands to frame her face, changing the kiss from one type of intensity to another. Slowly, deeply, his tongue penetrated her mouth in an effort to use his own desire to ignite hers. He could not get enough of her and never would.
Fully aroused, he lifted his head, expecting to see similar passion swimming in her eyes. But what looked back at him was not heat, or even tenderness, just cold detachment. He knew she felt something for him, but that she could push it aside and deny its existence, shook his core.
Meriel stepped back, out of his embrace. “You were right. Desire by itself is not satisfying. Good-bye, Craig,” she said simply, and then stepped around him and began to walk away. There had been no bitterness, no ulterior motive.
Craig blinked. He stumbled back a step and started breathing heavily, unsure of what was really happening. All he wanted to do was protect her and safeguard their friendship. And yet, with her every step, she was not just walking away, but away from him.
Unease like he had never known began to swell in his chest, choking him. He fought to get it under control. Of all the emotions, panic was the deadliest, for it removed the ability to think, act, and be rational. He took a deep breath and closed his eyes. Images of his past and his future began to swim before him: A year ago, Meriel sensing the truth about his feelings on the unpleasant prospect of becoming a laird. Of her curled up in a chair and laughing with him about some secret opinion they shared about something or someone. Of Meriel dancing, smiling, her long hair swaying in a way that drew the attention of every man present. Of her rocking a baby in her arms, growing large with another child and reaching out to clasp the father’s hand lovingly in her own. A barely audible sound tore at his throat.
That hand did not belong to him.
Panic no longer described the terror shooting through him as the truth of his future fully revealed itself. From the moment he and Meriel had spoken on that fateful ride a year ago, she had become the most important person in his life. However, instead of embracing the depth of his feelings, he had called her his friend, all for the foolish belief that it would keep him from becoming weak, exposed, and defenseless. But he was already all those things.
Meriel knew him like no other person ever had or ever would. He did not have to explain, or justify, or even pretend with her. With others, even close friends and family, he always had to repress a piece of himself, keep it hidden away, but with Meriel he was free to be himself. She was his soul mate. She might cause him to be acutely vulnerable, but she also made him an infinitely stronger, better man. For only when he was with her, could he find true inner peace.
Craig sprang off the large stone and rushed to catch up with her. “Meriel!”
Meriel stopped and turned around just in time to be pulled once again into his arms. Her body was instantly stiff and unyielding, but a moment later he felt her tremble, which gave him renewed hope. Unable to stop himself, he brushed his lips lightly, persuasively against hers, letting her feel the endless need and love inside him.
Meriel tried to suppress her feelings. It had taken everything she had to deny her body from reacting and keep her soul from getting swept away with his last kiss. But this was too much for her to fight. His lips were so soft, so beautiful, so tender, her eyes filled with tears and her heart clenched in her chest. Kissing him felt right. She could feel the urgent need in him, but this time there was more than just physical need in his embrace. He loved her.
Overwhelmed and unable to rationalize what was happening, she clutched his arms, unwilling to discover that she might be wrong; that he only desired her and nothing more. So when he broke off their kiss, she nearly burst into tears when he forced her to look at him.
Then Craig cupped her cheek, his touch so tender she could barely breathe.
“I love you.”
Meriel held her breath. Three simple words. He had said them quietly and without elaboration, but as she stared into his deep blue eyes, she knew Craig had spoken directly from his heart. She had found the man that was supposed to be hers, and he loved her in return. “I love you too.”
Craig exhaled slowly, raggedly, completely overcome with emotion. He had not lost her. Just the opposite. She was his. Their unique bond now unbreakable.
“Is tú mo shonuachar,” he exclaimed, announcing his claim to her as his love and perfect mate. A smile broadened across his face and his blue eyes danced as they twinkled mischievously before he swung her around.
Meriel giggled, unable to help herself. “Put me down, you lunatic!”
He did as commanded, knowing she was his and that he would receive many similar loving endearments for the rest of his life. That knowledge sent another wave of elation through him.
He placed a quick kiss on her nose and then began to nuzzle her forehead, breathing in her scent. “I believe I have loved you since I first saw you force poor Merry to ride next to me when we rode from Caireoch a year ago,” he teased, the only way he was able to handle the joy of his emotions.
Slowly, he began to press soft kisses down the left side of her cheek, his long eyelashes fluttering along her sensitive skin until they reached the responsive spot below her ear. “I guess those days of having to ride close by and help you are over,” he whispered in her ear.
“Well, my bruised backside is telling me that I am not exactly a horsewoman yet,” she replied huskily, refusing to let him know the havoc his warm breath was wreaking on her stomach.
He cupped her face in his calloused hands and whispered hoarsely, “Good, because there are many things I still want to teach you.” Then, realizing how close he was to losing control, he swatted her behind playfully and turned to retrieve the blanket still on the ground.
Meriel pretended to be outraged, but the grin on her face gave it away. “I do seem to take instruction better from Hamish. Maybe I should—”
Before she could finish her sentence, Craig came back and crushed his mouth on hers with animal-like possessive fury. His tongue plundered with unleashed need and possession. Meriel put her arms around his neck and returned his kiss with sweet fervor. He had meant for her to feel and know that she was his, that she was completely claimed. But inside she was laughing with sheer joy.
Chapter 10
Craig placed a hand on the back of her neck and unhesitatingly drew her to him with the intention of tasting all of the passion she had to give. Meriel offered no resistance. Her heart was pounding. The desire she had worked so hard to conceal for the past several weeks heated her bloo
d, demanding this time to know satisfaction.
This kiss was not like the other ones they had shared. Those had only hinted at the passion and need Craig was now conveying with his lips, which were igniting something primitive, something utterly feminine deep inside her. She wanted more and intended to lose all inhibition and show him just what he was doing to her, when his lips left hers. Meriel wanted to speak, to plead for his return, but all ability to think went away as his mouth moved delicately down her neck, tracing the sensitive vein that pulsated rapidly with the rhythm of her heart.
Craig nuzzled and lightly sucked the side of her nape, savoring Meriel’s quiet gasps. Her head was buried in his chest and she clung to him tightly. A great shudder of need wracked through her and it created a raging hunger of his own. His mouth returned to hers and her lips parted, welcoming the sensual entry of his tongue. He could feel her hand slide around his nape, her fingers curling into the short, crisp hair at the back of his head. His desire was taking over, and he knew that soon all rational thought would be gone.
She was perfection, and he intended for their first time to be passionate and memorable. Knowing he was reaching the last of his defenses, Craig reluctantly pulled himself away from Meriel and rested his forehead against hers.
He had been totally naïve. He had believed his attraction to Meriel powerful and strong, but controllable—even if just barely. He had not been prepared for what it would be like when he became emotionally unguarded in the throes of desire. Even now, the need to taste her once again was almost crippling. If he did not somehow muster the will to step away and keep from touching her, it would be too late. If they shared even one more kiss, he would not be able to stop himself from possessing her as every instinct in his body told him he must.
When Craig withdrew his lips, Meriel was able to take a much-needed breath. She did not need to ask why he was pulling away from her this time. She knew. She might not have had personal experience with making love, but she was not ignorant of what took place between a man and a woman. And if the past few minutes was only a hint of the passion that would be shared between them, she was amazed at Craig’s powers of self-control. She certainly had not felt any inclination to stop.
Michele Sinclair - [McTiernays 05] Page 24