by Haley Weir
“Yeah, like my job.” A job feels like the least of his worries compared to his other problem.
“You’ll figure it out,” Ellen comforts him. “Isn’t that what we’re all doing, constantly? Just figuring it out?”
“You’re right,” says Douglas. For the first time in a while, he feels hopeful about his situation.
“I mean, I don’t want to be a barista forever,” says Ellen. They’ve stopped walking. Douglas finds a boulder to sit on, a perfect spot in the shade. He pats the spot next to him, welcoming Ellen onto the rock. They sit side by side, thighs touching, her hand in his.
“What do you want to be?” asks Douglas in a soft voice. He leans in closer. The only sound is the buzzing of bugs and the chirping of birds. Nature’s soundtrack.
“I don’t know,” Ellen says. “I may go back to school. Maybe look into social work.”
“You’re great with people,” Douglas responds. “You’d be great. You’d be great at anything.”
“Are you just saying that to get into my pants?” Ellen inquires facetiously.
“No, I’m not, but if that’s the effect it’s having, well, then-” he begins, but Ellen cuts him off by pressing her mouth against his.
They sit together on the rock, kissing softly. Then, the kissing grows more passionate, and they can’t help but put their hands on each other. Ellen gently strokes Douglas’s beard, liking the way his scruffy face feels. Douglas reaches for Ellen’s breasts, her hard nipples poking through her bra and shirt. They continue to kiss as Douglas fondles them, squeezing, and feeling himself grow hard. Ellen puts her hand on his package, massaging through his pants. Douglas lets out a soft moan, which makes Ellen smile and giggle with delight between kisses. She positions herself onto his lap, straddling him while her underwear begins to get wet.
They continue to kiss, until they hear leaves rustling and crunching in the distance. They stop abruptly, and Ellen pulls herself off of Douglas. A couple with their kid appears, and Ellen turns bright red, wondering how much they saw. They wait in silence, letting the family pass, before bursting into laughter.
“You’re fun,” Ellen says. “Do you want to come over tonight and continue where we left off? My roommate won’t be around.”
“I do,” says Douglas, “but, tonight’s no good.”
“Oh,” Ellen says, trying to mask her disappointment. There goes another night that Douglas can’t work her into his rigid schedule.
“Let’s keep hiking, I want to make it to the top for sunset,” Douglas says, grabbing her hand and leading them both forward.
Ellen smiles, trying to focus on the good time they’re having, rather than all the heartbreaking thoughts of what he might be hiding from her.
Chapter 10
“Do you think I’m being overly paranoid?” Ellen asks Chris. It’s been just a few exciting weeks dating Douglas. But Ellen can’t shake the feeling that something is off, despite how much fun they have when they’re together, and how comfortable she is with him.
“I don’t know. Tell me again what happened,” says Chris.
“Nothing happened, really. He just seems like he’s always in a rush to get rid of me,” says Ellen. “He can never hang out past 10 P.M. and doesn’t want to even indulge the idea of a sleepover. It’s me, right? It’s gotta be me,” says Ellen.
“No, it doesn’t have to be you at all. It’s probably him,” asserts Chris.
“Thanks for thinking so, but I don’t know. You should see how weird he gets when I try to casually confront the situation,” Ellen replies.
“So, it’s a ‘situation’ now?”
“I don’t know. Yes? No?” Ellen ponders. The past few weeks have been a whirlwind. She and Douglas have been seeing a lot of each other. They make each other laugh, and he even cooked dinner for her a few times. They haven’t had sex yet, and Ellen can’t help but wonder why.
“Maybe he’s got a weird penis?” asks Chris.
“I genuinely cannot tell if you’re trying to be helpful,” Ellen says. Chris only seems partially invested, playing Xbox with his focus on the shooting game in front of him.
“Kind of,” says Chris.
Ellen throws a pillow at him. “Stop! Seriously, I need to figure out what to do. I feel like he’s hiding something, and I can’t read him. I’m worried. I can’t afford anymore big mistakes in my romantic life,” says Ellen.
“You’ve only been seeing him for a few weeks, casually dating. You haven’t even really had sex yet. I don’t want to be the one to bring this up, but what if he’s dating other women?”
Ellen’s chest tightens. Chris finally put into words the possibility she is dreading the most.
“Did you talk about that? If you’re exclusive or not?”
Ellen is dumbfounded. “No,” she replies. “I guess we didn’t.”
“You might want to have that conversation if you’re so worried about it, El,” says Chris, still staring ahead at the screen.
“I guess. Do you really think he’s seeing someone else? Or multiple someone else’s?” asks Ellen, frowning.
“I mean, you said the boy looks like a model, so it’s very possible. But maybe it’s nothing. Tell me about your ‘evidence’ again,” meanders Chris.
“Well, that first night we hung out he told me he had an early morning job interview. When I asked him how it went, he told me it didn’t go well and he didn’t want to talk about it. He also wouldn’t tell me where the job was. So, it seemed weird,” Ellen recounts.
“Weird, sure, but does that mean he’s seeing other people?” Chris asks.
“Not necessarily. No. But, every night we hang out he has a different reason for not being able to hang out ‘late’. Which, to him, is 10 P.M. He ditches at 10 P.M. every damn time,” Ellen continues.
“Plus, I’m not sure how to read his brother’s wife and other brother’s girlfriend. It seems like they’re super enthusiastic about me, but they definitely keep tabs on him. Like, just a few days ago we were drinking wine in his kitchen and having a really great time. Well, the clock strikes 9:56 and Avery burst into the room to announce the time to Douglas. Then, of course, he asks me to leave.”
“That’s weird. Maybe the girls just don’t like you,” Chris offers, shrugging.
“Thanks for the vote of confidence,” she says. “Wait, he’s calling me now.”
Ellen picks up the phone.
“Hey Ellen,” says Douglas on the other line. Ellen’s mother would say his ears must have been ringing because Ellen was talking about him.
“Douglas,” greets Ellen. “What’s up?”
“Just wondering if I could cook you dinner tonight,” he asks. “I make a mean grilled salmon.”
“That sounds great,” says Ellen. She looks at the clock. 5 P.M. It’s still relatively early as far as Friday nights go.
“Do you want to do, like, a later dinner?” Ellen suggests, probing.
“No, come as soon as you can. I want to see you,” says Douglas enthusiastically.
“I’ll get ready now,” answers Ellen. “See you soon.”
Chris looks up from his video game.
“Ellen, you know you need to talk to him tonight,” he says.
“I know,” says Ellen. But talking isn’t the only thing she has on her mind.
Chapter 11
“You look fantastic,” says Douglas when he opens the door for Ellen. She is wearing a tight black dress and her long red hair is in waves, cascading over her shoulders and all the way down her back. He so badly wants to know what she looks like under that dress, but he’ll abstain from making a move until she gives him the go ahead. He wants to respect her and her comfort zone. He understands that she came from a difficult relationship and is distrustful of men.
But there’s another reason, something even more pertinent. Once it gets physical, it’ll be harder to keep his secret from her. He wants to take her to his bedroom and ravish her, but one thing will lead to another, and the time of night
will roll around when he’ll have to confront his inner beast. His nighttime routine. A lonely, sad routine.
“Thanks,” says Ellen. She blushes as she takes in Douglas. His hair, like always, is a perfect flop of curls on top of his head. His smile never fails to melt her. When they hug, it lasts a little longer than usual. She takes the opportunity to take a whiff of his scent and feels her animal instincts kick in. In his big arms, with his body pressed against hers, all she can think about is ripping his clothing off to see what’s underneath.
“Are Mikayla and Avery around? Or your brothers?” Ellen asks.
“No, actually, they’re doing a double-date thing tonight. It’s just us, they’ll be home later,” Douglas explains. What he doesn’t explain is how he asked them to clear out for the night so he can finally have some privacy with Ellen. He knows Avery or Mikayla will without a doubt check in on him around 10. He doesn’t need them hovering around until then.
Ellen can’t deny that she is relieved. Although she doesn’t mind them, she can’t help but feel like the seeds of her relationship are being stomped on and prevented from growing by the constant presence of a third party. Plus, tonight will be a good chance to talk... and maybe more.
They go into the kitchen where Douglas pours them each a generous glass of red wine. He wants to take the next step with Ellen, but he’s nervous. He’s hoping the wine will give him the liquid courage he needs to make a move. He’s never been so restrained with a woman before, but the fact that none of his relationships have lasted shows that perhaps he could benefit from using a bit more caution. There’s no rush, at least as far as he’s concerned. Ellen hasn’t shown any signs that she’s ready to give up on him. He takes a hefty sip of wine.
They go out to the back porch where the sun is setting on a beautiful warm evening. Douglas looks out into the wilderness where he will run freely when his bear wakes up. Looking at the grass with Ellen next to him, he can only think about how nice it would be to lie there all night looking up at the stars, with no bears in sight. But they will never have all night. Not as long as he has to battle the beast within, a battle he has yet to win.
“So, how’s the job hunt?” Ellen asks.
“It’s…not great yet. I still am considering taking a job at one of the shops in town, but I’m looking around. I just need to find the right thing for me,” he says. He takes another sip of wine. He is weary of talking too much about jobs because that could lead them straight down a rabbit hole. Ellen still doesn’t know why Douglas is no longer a cop, and he’d rather avoid the topic altogether than lie to her. He already feels consumed by guilt, knowing full well that he’s not been truthful. But, it’s not the truth he wants to burden her with tonight.
Ellen takes a big swig of wine herself. Her face starts to feel warm as it always does when the alcohol begins flooding her bloodstream. Soon enough, she’d start feeling dizzy and her ability to bite her tongue will be compromised. It’s only a matter of time before she starts asking him questions about topics far more personal than the job hunt.
“You know, I’ve really enjoyed getting to know you,” Douglas says to Ellen. “You are something so bright that has come to me in a dark time of my life.”
“I couldn’t have said it better myself,” Ellen responds, calmly clinking her glass against his but her stomach is doing somersaults all the while. They finish their wine at the same time.
“I’ll get the bottle,” says Douglas, heading to the kitchen. Ellen waits in the living room, nervously adjusting her short black dress. She knows tonight is her chance to make a move in one direction or another. She hasn’t given Douglas the green light to make any moves, and it warms her heart to think about how respectful he’s been. But tonight, something has to change. They’ve only been making lateral moves, and she’s ready to promote Douglas. She just hopes he’s ready, too. If secrecy is going to be a staple in their relationship, it just won’t fly.
Douglas pours them each another glass of wine. For the first time in their weeks of dating, the silence between them feels slightly awkward. It feels like there are words unspoken trying to make their way to the surface, despite being shoved down time and time again. They both sip their wine. Douglas starts to feel the wine hitting his system, but he doesn’t want to do anything impulsive. Douglas slowly moves his hand to Ellen’s thigh. She doesn’t push it away. She likes how it feels there, and thinks about how she wants his hands on the rest of her body.
“Are you hungry?” Douglas asks in a whispery voice, his hand steadily moving up her thigh. Ellen already feels a tingle between her legs, a feeling of excitement she has deserved for so long and yet hasn’t truly experienced in years.
“No,” she says. She’s smiling coyly and inches her body closer to Douglas’s, to the point that she’s close to sitting on his lap, their legs criss crossed over each other. Suddenly, all of the talking points she had planned to bring up to Douglas went out the window. All she can think about is how he tastes. Douglas shifts in his seat, the sexual tension coming to a head as the bulge under his jeans begins to stiffen. He can smell her scent and he wants more. He leans in, his face against her neck. He inhales, his breath against Ellen’s neck sending a full body shiver through her. She isn’t sure how much longer she can wait.
“Is this okay?” Douglas asks, slowly beginning to kiss her neck.
Ellen pulls away and grabs his face. She pulls it in towards her, kissing him passionately on the mouth.
“It’s very okay,” says Ellen, making eye contact as she slowly lowers down onto her back with Douglas over her, breathing heavily. Whatever she has to say to him will have to wait.
Chapter 12
Douglas is on top of Ellen now, and all of his anxiety has evaporated. His mind and his body alike are consumed by her. He buries his head in her neck, kissing it all over, working his way up to her ears. He gives them a playful nibble, and Ellen throws her head back, laughing in pure bliss.
“I’ve wanted you so badly,” breathes Douglas between neck kisses.
“I know,” answers Ellen. “I know,” is all she can say as her toes are already curling with pure erotic energy coursing through her entire body. She feels light, yet strong and powerful. Its like she is floating on a cloud with Douglas, hovering above all of their earthly problems and hang ups.
Douglas presses his mouth against hers, lightly biting her bottom lip. She squeals in delight as he pushes his tongue into her mouth, massaging and swirling. They kiss harder until Douglas starts working his way down to explore the rest of her body with his mouth. He pulls the straps of her dress down, revealing two perfect, perky breasts. He kisses her chest, then kisses her breasts. As he sucks on her nipple, she lets out a small moan. The encouragement excites Douglas, who’s throbbing member is begging to be released from the pants they’re trapped in. He pushes himself against her, grinding slowly. He thrusts his hips, slow, then fast, fast, then slowing down again. It’s rhythmic and passionate. Ellen can’t get enough.
She sits up, wrapping her legs around him as he supports her in his muscular arms. Douglas wiggles Ellen’s lace panties off and then unbuttons his own shirt. His chest is perfectly carved and he has a six-pack suited for a god. Ellen puts her hands on his chest. He continues to kiss her neck, switching from left side to right side occasionally biting. Ellen is certain there will be some sort of mark left, but she doesn’t care. Their romance makes her feel young and free. The way he worships her body makes her feel more in control than ever before. He gropes her breasts, her nipples hardening at his touch. He massages them gently but passionately. She pulls his shirt all the way off, and begins working on his pants.
“Wait,” says Douglas as he stands up, with her legs wrapped around him. He’s carrying her, and Ellen has never felt so light and airy. Douglas brings her all the way upstairs to his bedroom, where he made sure there are no chains in sight. Ellen wants to take it all in, as it’s the first time he’s brought her to his bedroom, but she’s too busy having
her world rocked to look at his knick knacks and framed photos.
Douglas lays Ellen down on the bed. He consumes her with his gaze, wanting to have the image of her naked body implanted in his mind eternally. He pulls his pants all the way down, revealing himself to Ellen. She stares at his cock, assessing for a moment, before yanking him onto the bed on top her.
“Damn,” she mutters under her breath.
“You like it?” he teases her with a grin as he grinds up and down on top her, wanting so badly to penetrate her. But he would let the foreplay extend until they both couldn't take it anymore.
“I like it,” says Ellen with a smile. Douglas loves how sexy her smile is. She isn’t playing the role of someone else. She’s undeniably her true self.
“I need you so damn badly,” says Douglas, wrapping his arms around her entirely. He wants to stay in this moment forever, their excitement building with the promise of something magical.
“I need you, too,” says Ellen. “I want to be with you. All of the time,” she says. She’s trying to subtly drop a hint about their time spent together, but she knows it’s not the time. She should focus on the task at hand, and prepare her mind for the pleasure about to be delivered to her via the throbbing cock of a man beautiful enough to be a model.
“Now,” says Ellen, a pool of moisture between her legs. She’s anxious to receive him. “Put it in me. I need you.”
Douglas is incredibly turned on by how demanding she’s being.
“Now!” she practically shrieks at him, and Douglas wastes no more time.
He slips himself inside of her and she throws her head back in bliss, her red hair draped
over his pillows. He thrusts and her back arches, She lets out another moan. Douglas likes the encouragement. He continues to rock back and forth on top of her, increasing his force and his speed until he falls into a rhythmic pattern. “Oh my God,” Ellen whispers. “God, yes.”
“Does it feel good?”