“I love it too,” I say. “But I need to catch up.”
He kisses me and then flashes that sexy grin of his. “You can try, but I bet I can stay ahead of you.”
I want to laugh out loud. Happiness nearly overflows inside me at the thought of Aidan and I having an ongoing “contest” to give each other pleasure. His words, his actions, even just the way he looks at me, have me feeling for the first time that the two of us could be together, like a real couple. In this moment, it doesn’t seem strange or impossible. It feels right.
While I get my clothes back in place and pack up my things, Aidan puts on a clean shirt. We go out past the living room where I say goodnight to his dad, and wonder if Mr. Holt notices that Aidan’s wearing different clothes.
Aidan walks me out onto the porch and kisses me again, a long, tender kiss that makes me wish we could go back inside his bedroom and spend all night together.
As if reading my mind, he whispers, “I wish you didn’t have to go.”
Suddenly I’m too emotional for words, my mind filled with thoughts of sharing Aidan’s bed with him all night, sleeping in his arms, waking up with him. So instead of speaking, I circle my arms around him more tightly and try to convey my feelings with a kiss.
My lips are swollen when we finally break apart, my body heavy with want. “I’ll talk to you soon,” I say, my voice husky.
“Let me know how your test goes,” he says. “If you finish early—”
I laugh out loud.
He grins and says, “We’ll be playing at Buzzkill.”
“I’ll let you know,” I say. “Night.”
“Goodnight, Amber.”
Unable to resist, I steal one more quick kiss from him before I leave. It’s still light out; the nights are getting longer, and when I wave to him from the sidewalk, I can see him smiling back at me.
When I get to the turn that will take me out of sight, I look back a final time and he’s still there on the porch, watching me. A wave of happiness carries me home the rest of the way.
Chapter 27
Amber
My sleep is restless that night. Images of Aidan fill my dreams, and the more explicit ones — Aidan bent over my chest, Aidan stretched out on his bed, Aidan reaching into his jeans — have me tossing and turning in my bed, filled with a not-unpleasant frustration. At one point I wake up and realize I was dreaming about his hard cock, and I don’t mind missing out on some sleep, even with finals the next day.
It’s early when I finally give up trying to rest. I get ready quietly so I don’t disturb Megan, and slip out to go to the library to prep for my first final. It’s an easy class, oral communication, and I breeze through my presentation later that morning, leaving me with several hours to drill for chemistry.
I’d been feeling confident last night, but as I start to review, my nerves take over. There’s so much riding on this one test, and what if there’s something on it that I somehow haven’t covered? What if I mix up some of the formulas or forget a couple of the million things I’ve had to memorize?
I’m not sure of Aidan’s schedule today, but I decide to take a chance and text him: I’m nervous about my final.
I don’t hear from him right away; he may be in the middle of a test himself, but after about twenty minutes his reply buzzes in: You’ve got this. You’re going to do great.
You think so?
Of course. Look at what a great tutor you’ve had.
I smile and feel my nerves lighten a little.
Another text pops up: I have a tip for you.
Yes?
Don’t trust atoms. They make up everything.
I reply: Groan, and Aidan sends over a smiley face.
Seriously, you’ve got this.
Okay, thanks.
I get back into studying, and an hour later I hear from Aidan again: What do you do with a sick chemist?
I don’t know. What?
If you can’t helium, and you can’t curium, then you might as well barium.
Did you ever think of giving up singing to be a comedian?
I usually only tell jokes in the shower.
Mmm. A vision of Aidan in the shower temporarily pushes the chemical equations from my mind. I allow myself to savor the image for a few moments before I dutifully return to my studies.
Mid-afternoon, Aidan texts again: Have you heard the one about a chemist who was reading a book about helium?
No…
He just couldn’t put it down.
His jokes are so lame, and it’s beyond sweet that he’s thinking of me throughout the day. I can’t keep a huge grin from spreading across my face.
Thank you for helping me not to be so nervous, I write.
You’re welcome. I can help you de-stress after the test too. I have special methods for that…
I’ll bet you do.
The smile on my face is joined by reddened cheeks.
Just before the test, I hear from Aidan again. I saved my best for last. Are you ready?
As I’ll ever be.
Where and how frequently do chemistry students have sex?
Hmmmm.
On the table, periodically.
I respond as I make my way into the classroom. That was your best joke, huh?
It sounds like you don’t appreciate my humor.
I actually do appreciate it a lot.
I’m about to do a sound check. Good luck. You’re going to do great. See you later?
Have a good show!
I slide into a desk and take a deep breath. My palms are sweating so I try to focus on the jokes Aidan sent throughout the day, replaying them in my mind like a stress-busting litany.
The test is grueling, but I keep calm by taking deep breaths whenever I start to feel panicky, and I get through it. By the end, I feel pretty good about it. There weren’t any moments where I felt completely lost and had no idea how to solve a problem. There were a few spots when I wasn’t positive I was remembering something correctly, but overall I think I did all right. I do know I couldn’t have worked harder or been more prepared.
When I leave the classroom, I pull out my phone to text Aidan, but before I can compose a message, I run, almost literally, into Megan’s friend Eric. I can tell he wasn’t just passing by; he’s waiting for me. His expression is heavy, and I’m startled to see him.
“Eric? What’s up? Is Megan okay?”
“Can I talk to you?”
“Yeah, what’s going on?”
“Megan’s fine. It’s just … can I buy you a coffee?”
“Yeah, of course.” The wave of panic I’d felt at Eric’s unexpected appearance passes, but I’m still concerned about why he wants to talk to me. He looks serious and uncomfortable, not his usual easygoing self.
We make awkward small talk about our finals as we head over to BFOC, which is the closest spot serving coffee at this hour. The place isn’t very crowded tonight. People who have tests tomorrow are probably home studying, and those who are done are most likely partying at places that serve alcohol.
I was about to text Aidan, but he’s probably still on stage, and I don’t expect to be long with Eric, so I decide that can wait.
Eric and I get settled in a booth by the front window and I wait for him to take a few sips of his drink. Megan told me he’s been acting weird. It looks like I might be about to find out what’s going on.
Chapter 28
Aidan
I check my phone as soon as our set is done, but there are no messages from Amber. She’s got to be done with her final by now, and I hope it’s not a bad sign about how the test went that she hasn’t been in touch.
Thinking about the “stress relief” I promised her, I decide to cut out early, rather than waiting for the other guys. I think if I make my exit quickly enough, I can slip away, but that doesn’t work out.
There’s already a fan at the back door, just one, a girl I’ve seen at other shows.
“Aidan, great show!” she says.
<
br /> “Thanks. Thanks for coming out,” I say. She’s about my age, pretty. I remember her telling me she goes to school here too. I don’t see her looking for an autograph, so I start to move by her, but she grabs my arm.
“What’s your rush?” she says, taking my hand in hers. “Do you want to get a drink?”
“No, I can’t. Thanks, though.”
“We could go to my place, and relax,” she says, looking up into my eyes, squeezing my hand in hers.
A few weeks ago, I’d have probably gone. I could definitely stand to blow off some steam after finals, and getting laid always feels great after a show. It’s been a while, too, and handjobs aren’t nearly enough.
But I know I can’t. I don’t even want to.
“I can’t. Not tonight. I have plans.” The girl’s face crumbles, and I feel terrible. “Hey, it’s okay,” I say. “I really do have plans.”
She drops my hand like it’s on fire, and instantly looks embarrassed, though she tries to shrug it off. “Everybody says you’re a player, so it must be me, right?”
I’m not sure if I feel flattered or offended by her comment. “Just so you know, that’s kind of a myth. Not that I’ve lived like a monk or anything, but I’ve never been…”
“With a different girl every night?” she finishes.
“Yeah, no.” I’m torn between embarrassment and amusement now, explaining my sex life or lack thereof to this girl. “If that’s what someone told you, they’re way off. Not even a different girl every other night.” I wink and give her a grin, and am relieved to see that she looks okay now.
A couple of my bandmates come out just as the girl is leaving. “Maybe some other time,” she calls out as she waves goodbye.
“Dude, what was that? Did you just turn down that girl?” Josh, the drummer, says.
When I don’t answer, Nick, the lead guitarist, pipes in. “What is wrong with you? I’d have hit that.” He stares after the girl, frustrated. “You could have invited her in to meet the rest of us.”
“If she wanted to meet everyone, she’d have asked. She’s a person, not a blowup doll,” I say. I ignore Nick’s dirty look as I head out. “See you tomorrow.”
Other fans will be at the door soon. I take a shortcut through an alley and am back on campus after a few blocks. I’m checking the time and wondering if I should text Amber as I pass by BFOC. It’s still lit up brightly inside, and a flash of shiny golden brown hair catches my eye through the front window.
I’ve had a few times over the past couple of weeks when I’d thought I’d seen Amber, and it turned out to be someone else. Because she’s been on my mind, I guess I’ve started to see her everywhere. I expect the same thing to be happening now, but I look closer anyway.
This girl is sitting with a guy, leaning in close to him across the table, her hand resting on his. At first I assure myself that this couldn’t be Amber, but then her face turns in my direction, and I see for certain that it is.
What the fuck?
I’m so hung up on her that I turn down hookup offers from fans, I haven’t been laid in weeks, I’m all wrapped up in taking things slow with her, and she’s out with another guy?
I was stupid to think she was different.
My vision actually darkens as my anger flares. Before I can even think twice about it, I storm toward the entrance.
Chapter 29
Amber
“I’ve been in love with Megan since high school,” Eric says. “I’ve always been there for her. It was easy back then, but now she’s meeting all these new guys, and every time someone wants to hook up with her it nearly kills me. She’s always inviting me to go out with her, though. I know she likes me, but it’s not the same … I don’t know what to do.”
He pauses to take a sip of his coffee and I notice how tired he looks.
“I don’t want to lose her, but I can’t be on the sidelines anymore. It’s tearing me apart. What do you think?” He looks at me, half pleading, half desperate, all pain. “You’re her roommate; you talk about all the girl stuff with her. Do I have even a snowball’s chance in hell? Is there someone else she’s serious about?”
“She hasn’t said anything like that to me. Have you ever told her how you feel?” I ask.
Eric’s voice rises in frustration. “How can she not know?” He nearly looks close to tears, and I cover his hand with mind and give it a squeeze.
“I’m no expert at this,” I say, “but if she’s the one, you have to fight for her. Make her see you. If you walk away, you’re through anyway, right? So you’ve got nothing to lose.”
The storm clears from his eyes. “You’re right,” he says. “You’re absolutely right. I needed to know if I’d be making an ass of myself, if she’s hung up on some other guy. But if there’s no one, then I just have to tell her.”
Now that he’s decided, he’s full of energy again. “Sorry to be rude,” he says, “but you don’t mind if I take off, do you?”
“Of course not.” I slide from my side of the booth and give him a big hug. “Good luck. I’m pulling for you.”
“Thanks.” He’s smiling as he leaves. I sling my bag over my shoulder and turn to follow.
When I see Aidan standing there, it’s so unexpected that I’m speechless for a moment. Not just that he’s here, instead of at Buzzkill with the band … but the look on his face is unlike any expression I’ve ever seen from him before.
“Nice,” he says, his voice carrying in the almost-empty restaurant. “Good to know how much you fucking care.”
The bitterness in his tone stuns me. “What? Aidan …”
He throws a hand up, cutting off my words. “Forget it. I’m not listening to any of your bullshit excuses.”
“Aidan,” I call as he turns and walks away, moving fast, not looking back. “Aidan!” I run after him, but when I burst through the doors he’s already out of sight.
Chapter 30
Amber
I cannot believe the way Aidan acted last night. It’s a really good things my finals are done, because I’m so angry I’m not sure I could see straight to take a test.
I’d never have pegged him as the jealous type. Where does he even get off with that attitude? He’s always surrounded by girls, but I can’t have a coffee with another guy?
I do feel bad that I hadn’t texted him like I said I would, but I know his overblown reaction isn’t over a missed text. He stormed out of the café last night like a big jerk, without giving me a chance to explain. And the main thing that pisses me off is that he won’t return my texts now.
I think about sending him an explanation about who Eric is and what I was doing with him, but I don’t owe him that. He doesn’t deserve it.
And it’s not even as if we have any kind of commitment. I just don’t get it. I thought he was different. More mature.
From time to time, my anger fades and gives way to sadness. Things had been going so well between us, and now it’s just blown up in my face. Deep inside I feel like Aidan must not have cared that much about me if he’s so quick to cut me loose. Maybe he’s just using Eric as an excuse to drop me.
Between the anger and the sadness, I’m filled with a deep, deep ache that just won’t go away.
I really wish I could talk with Megan. She was such a comfort to me before. But I can’t figure out how to tell her what happened without also telling her about my conversation with Eric. So in addition to feeling as low as I’ve ever felt, I have to put on a happy face and act like nothing’s wrong.
I think things are about as bad as they can get, but I turn out to be very wrong about that.
On Sunday night, I receive a message from Professor Carmichael, my chemistry professor. Why on earth would he be sending me a message? Especially one that tells me to report to the office of the Vice Provost for Academic Affairs at eight the next morning to discuss my test. What the hell?
There are no other details given, but I know this can’t be good. I can’t have failed; can I?
My first impulse is to contact Aidan, and knowing I can’t do that just adds to the sick feeling in my stomach.
I barely get any sleep at all, and the next morning I’m dragging, but I get myself up and arrive at the Vice Provost’s office twenty minutes earlier than requested. When I’m finally summoned into the office forty minutes later, my stomach is tied up and twisted so tight from worry and nerves that I feel like I could split in two.
Professor Carmichael is there, along with the VP, and a woman who turns out to be from the Office of Academic Integrity. Before I can wonder about the meaning of her title and its relationship to my situation, my professor very bluntly gets to the point.
“Miss Paulson, we’ve called you in because you are suspected of cheating on your chemistry final. As you know, the school has a zero tolerance policy on cheating, and if you are found to be guilty of the accusation, disciplinary actions will lead to your expulsion.”
His words don’t register for several long moments. Cheating? Expulsion? I had no idea what to expect this morning, and an accusation of cheating never entered my mind.
“I’m sorry. I don’t understand,” I say, looking from my professor to the two women, and back.
“Your test score was a 95,” he says. “Your quiz and test scores earlier in the semester were dismal. It’s simply not plausible that you could have improved that much and achieved that score on your final through honest means.”
I have one quick flash of jubilation at hearing my score before terror and outrage fight inside me. Indignation quickly gets the upper hand; I’m ice cold with fear, but hot anger flares.
“I have been studying my —” I almost say ass and catch myself. “Studying my butt off all semester. You can verify my sessions at the tutoring center. I’ve worked hard to bring up my grade, and the reward for my work is to be called a cheater? I can’t believe you would accuse me —”
The VP interrupts. “You said you went to the tutoring center?”
“Yes, and I had a really good tutor.” I’m trembling with adrenaline pulsing through me from my anger and anxiety. My voice cracks because thinking about Aidan, even now, makes me more emotional.
Beast Brothers 2: An MFM Twin Ménage Romance Page 21