by Eva Luxe
We walked through to Jackson’s Pediatric Center and announced ourselves.
An older woman with a white coat met us. Her voice was deep from years of too many cigarettes, and she had smile wrinkles fanning out from her eyes when she greeted us.
“Thank you for coming,” she said to Hanson, after she introduced herself as Doctor Cortez. “We are so lucky to have you visit us. The children are excited.”
I let Hanson walk first, followed by Donny and his camera. Mason stayed next to me, jotting down notes as we went along.
“We take care of kids that need extra medical attention while we let them do what kids do. We have a playground and activity rooms for the kids, so they won’t be bored while they’re in our care. We also make a point of teaching the child’s caregivers what they need to know to take care of their children at home.”
I looked at Hanson. He wasn’t just pretending to care. He was interested in what Dr. Cortez had to say. We were taken to a few private rooms and shown the facilities. The rooms were all painted with bright colors and cartoon characters to liven up the space.
“All of this will be upgraded now, thanks to your donation,” Cortez said. She smiled at Hanson, who nodded, smiling too.
“Shall we meet the children?” she asked.
We followed her to a large room with eight beds. The kids were ecstatic to see Hanson, even the girls. I stood to the side with Mason and watched him engage with them. He did everything I’d asked of him and more. I didn’t get the feeling that Hanson was just going through the motions to get back on the team. He really cared for children. He got on well with them, and he made sure not to mention anything that would come across wrong.
“This is going to make a great story,” Mason said. He was still scribbling in a little notebook. Donny snapped away. Everyone ignored the camera, just the way it was supposed to be. “Thanks for calling me.”
“Of course,” I said.
When it was time to wrap it up, Dr. Cortez walked away and returned shortly with a canvas with hand prints and a little plaque with Hanson’s name on it.
“The children made it for you, to say thank you,” she said.
Hanson accepted it and posed with Cortez and the children for one more photo before it was finally time to leave.
When we were in the car, Hanson blew out his breath like he’d been holding it for the longest time.
“That was intense,” he said.
I nodded. It had been so much more emotional than I’d expected.
“It was a good idea to do it,” I said. “Mason will write up a great story, and Donny got some fantastic photos. He’s one of the best there is.”
“Thank you,” Hanson said, turning his head to me. “For all of this.”
I shook my head. “Don’t thank me. I’m getting paid to do this.”
Hanson nodded and looked straight ahead as I backed out of my parking space.
“Let’s go out to dinner,” Hanson said. “To celebrate.”
I shook my head. “Hanson.”
“No, I mean as a business thing. To discuss our next move. That kind of thing. You’re allowed to do that, right?”
I hesitated a moment before I nodded. Business dinner was fine, and we did have to talk about what was coming up next for Hanson.
“Okay,” I said. “Where am I going?”
Hanson directed me toward the water’s edge where we walked into Il Gabbiano, a classy Italian restaurant. We didn’t need a reservation. Hanson Bell got a table no matter where we went, and we were taken to a table that looked out over the water to the high-rise buildings across Biscayne Bay to Brickell Key.
“This is nice,” I said, looking around. The restaurant was an upscale place but it had a homey feel to it, and I didn’t feel underdressed.
“I love this place,” Hanson said. A waiter came to us and he ordered a bottle of wine. The waiter disappeared, and Hanson looked across the small table at me.
“So, I really enjoyed today,” Hanson said. “I didn’t think it would be as fulfilling as it was.”
I nodded. “I’m glad you feel that way about it.”
“How do you feel about it?” Hanson asked.
“About what?”
“Well.” He shrugged. “You’re not really saying much about the whole day. After the night I made the donation, you were so happy, and now you don’t seem as involved.”
I shrugged with one shoulder, not making eye contact with him. I didn’t really know what to say to him.
“Everything is going according to plan, about which I’m happy, obviously. You should be, too. It’s looking good for you.”
“And for us?” he asked.
I took a deep breath. “There isn’t an us, Hanson.”
“I don’t mean it like that,” he said. “I mean, I don’t know. You seem closed off. Distant. It’s not exactly how you’ve been before.”
“Well, maybe that has to do with the fact that no matter what happens between us, you’re always in the tabloids the next day with some new woman on your arm. I don’t get emotionally involved or anything, but I do take offense when I’m so easily forgotten.”
Hanson blinked at me.
“It’s quite a slap in my face as your PR Manager, too, considering that I’m the one that has to keep cleaning up your messes.”
Hanson sighed. “So, you’re upset about the photos that have appeared.”
I nodded. “How did you expect me not to be? It just keeps happening over and over again. And the photos? God, you would think that at some point, you’ll realize that you’re sinking your own ship. You’ll realize that if you don’t change something, it’s all going to keep going in the same direction.”
“What do you want me to do?” he asked.
He was getting angry. So was I. We made a great pair, sitting at a restaurant, arguing. We looked like a couple. But that just wasn’t meant to be.
“I don’t know, stay out of trouble, maybe? I didn’t think you were so addicted to sex that you couldn’t stop doing it for the sake of your own image. I’m not even asking you to stop, just to keep it behind closed doors. You can’t even do that, though. You just love the attention, don’t you?”
“That’s not fair,” he said.
He was breathing harder, like he’d been running.
Anger burned in my chest. “No, you know what’s not fair? You pretend like everything is alright when the fact is, it’s not?”
He shook his head. “I’m not pretending. Everything is fine. If you had an issue, you could have talked to me about it when it happened. I thought it was clear that I didn’t want her. The photos that weren’t even supposed to be printed showed as much.”
“But they were, Hanson. Don’t you get that? No matter what you do, there’s always photos, there’s always someone watching.”
I realized I was clutching onto my handbag like it was a lifeline. I forced myself to put it down on the floor.
My mind registered that he was trying to tell me he hadn’t done anything with the girls. But my heart didn’t want to believe it. It was just too much of a coincidence and kept happening. I tried to stay focused on what I wanted to tell him as his PR manager, not his girlfriend.
I’m not his girlfriend, I reminded myself. And I never wanted to be and never would want to be, either.
I was straight up lying to myself now and I knew it. But whatever it took to get me through this conversation, I would grasp at.
“It wasn’t my choice,” he said.
I shook my head. “This was your choice. You could drop out of the limelight if life between the sheets suits you better than a life where everyone is in your business. But you have to choose and then stick to it, because I can’t keep picking up after you.”
Hanson pushed his hands into his hair. “It’s not fair,” he said.
I knew that much. Life wasn’t fair, no matter where you stood. Either you weren’t noticed at all, or you were noticed too much. You were either part of a fam
ily you ended up hating, or you weren’t part of a family at all. We all got dealt a hand of cards. The only way we could get through life was to play it the best we could.
“I don’t really feel like eating, anymore,” Hanson said when the wine arrived. He glanced at the menu.
“Me either,” I said. I’d lost my appetite.
“What’s up next?” he asked.
“We’re meeting with the city’s committee for helping the homeless on Wednesday,” I said.
“Right.”
Hanson nodded. He leaned back in his chair. It felt like we’d reached a stalemate. I hated it. I didn’t want to care about him. Caring about people just ended up hurting. But for some reason, I still did.
Chapter 28 – Hanson
I stood in the tunnel that led out to the field. My team members were all there, standing with me. They weren’t as hostile as they’d been before. We weren’t exactly friends. Except for Brian, I didn’t feel like I was part of the team, but I was getting out onto the field and that was all that mattered.
God, I’d missed playing. Being suspended for six games had been pure torture. But it was over now.
We ran onto the field, and the roar of the crowd was deafening. The green grass was spongy beneath my feet, and the lights were blinding in a way they could only be on a football field. I was surrounded by four shadows that ran as I did.
And Lacey was watching. At the back of my mind, I knew she was watching. I shouldn’t care, but I did. She hadn’t seen me like this. I hadn’t been playing when we’d met. This was a different side of me. Sometimes, I thought it was the only side that was real.
“Are you good to go?” Brian asked, jogging next to me.
“You know it,” I said.
We split up and took our spots on the field. I was the Free Safety. My job was to tackle and to tackle hard. As the last line of defense, I had to make sure the ball didn’t get through. I couldn’t remember the last time someone had gotten past me.
The game started, and the rest of the world fell away. My focus was on the game. We didn’t play a strong game, and it was up to me to make sure the ball didn’t get through. The team didn’t work as a unit, not the way we used to when I was still playing. I doubted it was because of me, but we still had a lot of work to do.
The quarterback headed toward me. He was mine. As the free safety, he was my target and he wasn’t going to make it to his destination. I made eye contact with the guy through his visor. He snarled at me. I went for his hips and punched my shoulder into his groin. I felt the protection he wore in his pants, and he groaned despite the extra padding. He went down, and I went down with him.
A lineman broke through the defensive line and headed toward the end zone. I marked another player besides the quarterback. I headed for him and tackled him to the ground. The ball popped free from his grip and bounced to the sidelines.
The crowd erupted. The game carried on for a while longer, but in the end, we won. And not by the skin of our teeth, either. We’d beaten the other team by three touchdowns.
The team rallied around me.
“You’re a hell of a defense player,” Brian shouted over the noise of the crowd and the team all around us. “I’ve forgotten how good it is to have you on the field.”
I clapped him on the shoulder.
“We’re celebrating tonight,” I shouted before we were dragged along to the locker room.
We went to the White Room. I was comfortable there, and the VIP booths were exactly what we needed. Of course, we didn’t stick just to the booths. There were more than enough people on the main dance floor to ensure a great party, and the music was amazing.
I danced with a bunch of teammates between the other club goers, when I saw her coming down the steps that led down from the main entrance. Lacey wore a blue dress that was so tight it looked painted on and a lot shorter than anything I’d seen her in before.
The dress was the same color as her eyes, and the contrast with her black hair and the black shoes she wore was spectacular. Her eyes scanned the crowd.
Look at me, I willed, and just as I thought it, her eyes found mine. She didn’t smile the way I hoped she would, but it didn’t matter. She pushed her way through the crowd toward me.
“What are you doing here?” I asked, pulling her close to me to talk into her ear.
Her body and her dress were even more breathtaking up close. Her eyes were made up with smoky eyeshadow, the way women did it these days, and she pulled it off beautifully. Instead of red lips, she wore a nude lipstick. It made me want to kiss her.
“I’m here to keep you in check. Have you forgotten what happened the last time you were here?”
Right, the two women in the private room. What were their names?
It didn’t matter. I can’t believe that last time I was here, I was pursuing two women at once but more recently when the opportunity had presented itself, I hadn’t even wanted it. My, how things have changed. But I still got into trouble for it anyway. Some things never did change, I guessed.
I leaned into Lacey again. My arm brushed against her breasts, and my body responded. I wanted her. Everything about her screamed for me to take her.
“I’d rather be here with you, anyway,” I said.
She smiled at me and looked away, as if she hadn’t wanted me to see it. I did, though. I saw it, and I liked it.
I liked making her smile. Lacey was an ice queen, fantastic at her job and uninvolved with her clients. At least, that was how she’d been with me at first. It had taken a bit of time, but she’d thawed, and I liked the warm, expressive Lacey better than the one with the iron mask.
“I’m going to get a drink,” I said. “Do you want something?”
She shook her head. “I’m not here to drink. And you shouldn’t get wasted, either.”
I rolled my eyes. “I don’t need a babysitter. And you need to loosen up. I’m getting you something. What will it be?”
She shook her head again.
“Fine, I’ll decide,” I said and walked away from her, pushing my way to the bar.
I ordered a beer for myself, a nice change from all the whiskey I usually consumed, and I ordered her one of those girl drinks everyone was sipping around me. When I reached her again, I gave it to her. She looked at me with something like disappointment, but she didn’t put the drink down. Instead, she pressed it to her lips and took a sip.
“That’s my girl,” I said.
“I’m not your girl,” she said above the sound of the music.
I held up my hands, clutching the beer bottle in one. It was just an expression. But then again, I was on the edge of being drunk already, and all my manners slipped away when I got like this.
But fuck that, I had just played my first game again. We had won, and I was here to celebrate. There was nothing saying I wasn’t allowed to do that, even if I was working so damn hard on my image. Brian was the goody two shoes of the team, and maybe even he would get fucked tonight.
I was going to cry tomorrow when I needed to work out with a hangover. As pro players, alcohol should have been off the table completely. I had a theory: to get the alcohol off the table, you had to drink it. All of it.
“Dance with me,” I said to Lacey.
She looked around as if she was uncomfortable. I put my hands around her and pulled her against me.
She looked surprised for a moment, but when I started moving, so did she. Her body was taut and muscular. I knew she worked out. I’d felt her body when we’d fucked, but this was something else. Having her move against me, her dress as short as it was, and the music and alcohol pumping through my veins, it took us to a whole new level.
A level where I needed her.
“Come with me,” I said, when I couldn’t take it anymore.
“Where are we going?” she asked.
I took her hand and led her through a crowd that parted for us like water. When we were away from the music and headed toward the room, she asked it ag
ain.
“Where are you taking me?”
“A room,” I said.
She shook her head, pulling back.
“We’re not doing this,” she said.
“Come on, Lace,” I said. “You can’t tell me you don’t feel it, too?”
She swallowed. “Fine, but I’m not going there to do the dirty. I want to talk to you.”
I shrugged and led her on again. I opened the door and closed it behind us. When I turned to her, she had her hands on her hips and her face was all business.
“You can’t keep doing this,” she said. “You’re all over me, and we’re in public. What do you think will happen when your bad image includes your PR Manager? I’m supposed to fix it for you.”
I shrugged. “Don’t be so uptight, baby,” I said. My head spun, and I couldn’t think much further than the erection in my pants.
“I’m not your baby,” she said to me. “And you’re not going to fuck this up for me.”
I grinned at her.
“You’re sexy when you swear,” I said. I lifted my hand and put it on her cheek. I pressed my body against hers so she could feel my lust.
“Hanson, don’t.”
She was protesting but her lips were parted, and her pupils dilated. She wanted this. She wanted me. I was a pro at reading women, and this woman was all about my body. I pressed my lips against hers.
She didn’t fight me. It was as if she’d wanted it all along. My tongue was in her mouth in no time at all, and I sparred with her for a short while. Her breathing was hard, erratic, mimicking my own. Her hands were in my hair. I fumbled for the zipper at the back of her dress and found it. I pulled it down, slowly.
She stopped kissing me, stepping back. Her fingers undid the buttons on my shirt one by one. She peeled the shirt from my shoulders and dropped it on the floor.
Her face was inches from mine when she undid my buckle and unzipped my pants, but she didn’t kiss me. Instead, when my pants were around my ankles, along with my boxers, she kneeled in front of me. She looked up at me with those piercing blue eyes before she opened her mouth and closed it around my cock.