by Eva Luxe
“Get a room!” her friend Shelly said.
“Or at least a ledge of your own,” Matt chimed in.
“Very funny, asshole,” I told him. “But maybe we will.”
Everyone laughed again and Sadie nodded at me. She thought it was a great idea.
We moved farther away from the others, finding a spot that was semi-private. This was where most of our memories had been made. Here, we were going to make another one.
We started with making out, caressing and touching. I pulled the strap of her tank top to the side and then my hand made its way down to caress her familiar but still exciting breasts. We’d done everything but “all the way” sex before, and I knew her. I knew her body and what to do.
She climbed on top of me and my lips made their way to her nipple. Her left breast was hanging out of her tank top as I sucked on it. Every now and then I took my mouth away so I could marvel at her pink nipple standing erect for me. Then I went back for another delicious taste. I grinded my hips against her, and she gasped.
I was hard, and she could feel it. I pulled her panties down from underneath her skirt and fingered her, pushing my fingers into her pussy. She gasped and pressed her mouth against my neck to muffle the sound.
“It feels so good when you touch me,” she said.
I breathed in the scent of her hair— a mix of shampoo and hair spray— while my fingers rubbed her clit. I pulled up her skirt a bit more so I could see her naked pussy. She was dripping wet for me, while my fingers lightly squeezed her clit.
“I’m gonna come,” she whispered, and I said, “Good.”
She leaned back and let herself go for me, grinding her pussy into my hand while her juices poured out into it. As I rubbed her clit with one hand, I spread her pussy lips open wide so I could see all the way inside her, where I would soon get to put my cock, for the first time ever.
After a while, she was moaning and nearly screaming, so I put my hand over her mouth and drew her in closer to me as I continued to play with her pussy.
“Mmmm,” she moaned into my hand, bouncing up and down on me as I made her come again. “Oh my God, Brian.”
When she was done, she sat back down on my lap, while my finger was still plunged deep inside her tight little pussy hole. I could have gone on like that, playing with her sweet pussy and making her come over and over. But finally she put her hand on mine, asking me to stop.
“I want you, Brian,” she whispered.
This was it. The moment of truth. My cock strained against my pants, and I fumbled with my belt, struggling to get out of my jeans. I only pushed them down to my knees so we could recover easily.
I rolled onto her, and her thighs fell open for me, her legs on either side of my body. I was struggling to breathe.
“You’re trembling,” she said, and she was out of breath.
“I’ll be okay,” I said, as I quickly removed the condom from my pants pocket and put it on.
I had paid close attention in sex ed and I had even practiced at home— hoping and waiting for this chance to arrive— but I was still really bad at it. I fumbled a bit and then she helped me get it all the way on, both of us laughing and kissing until the job was finished.
Once the condom was finally on, I pressed the head of my cock against the entrance of her pussy, and she held her breath. Her gray eyes were so dark, they looked like the night sky above us. Her eyes bore into mine, and I pushed into her.
She whimpered, and I stopped. I knew from everything I’d read that it might hurt her. She shook her head.
“Don’t stop,” she whispered. “There was pain but now it feels good.”
“Okay,” I said, “if you’re sure.”
It was such a dilemma to want to keep going for my own pleasure but also not to cause her more pain. She’d said it felt good though. And she felt so wet inside from the way I had been playing with her pussy that my cock was nearly slippery.
I pushed further into her. She was so tight, it took everything I had to hold back and not come immediately. But I wanted this to last. We had spoken about having sex for months now, and it was finally happening. Under the stars, with the sound of the waves crashing onto the shore again and again, I took a part of her and gave her a part of me.
My cock felt so hard and big inside her tight pussy. I grabbed onto her ass as I thrust in and out of her. Her arms were around my neck and she came again, before I did.
“Oh my God, Brian,” she said. “I love your huge cock. It feels so good inside me. It fills me all the way up.”
I looked down at my cock plunging in and out of her, and I could see that she was right. It was going all the way inside her and then I would bring it out to watch her pussy hole contract, before sliding it back in. In and out, up and down. Both the rhythm and the view were amazing. I couldn’t believe I was capable of making her feel this good.
But, looking at how my cock was ravaging her pussy made my own feelings of pleasure too strong to be able to hold back. It was over too soon. I came in no time at all, and when I reached down to play with her so she could come again, she shook her head and playfully bit my neck.
“I’m too sore to keep going,” she said, shivering as the orgasm she had just been experiencing dissipated.
It would get better the more we did it. I’d read that, too.
“I want to kiss you, one more time,” I tell her, leaning towards her.
She brought her lips forward to meet mine and I sucked on them like I had just been sucking on her nipple. I couldn’t wait until she was feeling less sensitive, as I planned to suck on her clit like that too, making her come with my mouth like I just made her come with my cock.
“I love you, Sadie,” I told her, and she wrapped her arms around me and said it back.
“I love you too, Brian. Always and forever.”
I stood up, realizing I’d better get my pants back on before other guys came over and laughed at us. There was the issue of what to do with the used condom, though. My friends often threw theirs— along with the wrappers— off the cliff.
I knew this because they would joke about all that evidence down there, of all the girls they had fucked. They claimed it must be thousands by now, between all of them, but I felt they were exaggerating quite a bit.
I felt too bad about littering, though, to do what they did. And I didn’t want to think of the condom I’d used with Sadie joining the pile of evidence of a thousand different conquests. What I had with her was special. Mine and hers, only. So, as I got dressed, I put the used condom back in its wrapper, folded it over itself, and put it in the back pocket of my jeans, from where I had originally taken it.
Sadie was still relaxing on the rock. She didn’t have to get dressed since her clothes had such easy access.
“Let’s join the others,” she said, once my belt was back on. “I could use another drink, to celebrate our very first time. That was amazing.”
“It sure was,” I told her.
She stood up and almost lost her balance.
“Careful!” I cried out.
The rocks were high and jagged, with the ledge of the cliff looming just behind them. She pressed her hand to her mouth and giggled. We’d both had alcohol, and she didn’t handle hers very well.
“Let me come to you,” I said.
I walked toward her, hand outstretched. Sadie lifted her arms and tipped back her head.
“Tonight, I feel like a princess,” she said, and closed her eyes.
Throwing her head back threw her off balance. She stumbled, trying to steady herself by putting one of her feet behind her, but there was nothing for her to land on: only the great expanse of air and sky that started where the cliff ledge ended.
“Sadie!” I called out.
I watched as she toppled backwards. It all happened so slowly, I should have been able to get to her in time, but I couldn’t. I watched the shock on her face as she tried to right herself, and the horror when he realized she couldn’t.
> Then, she was gone from my view. I heard the sickening crunch of bone on rock before I got to the edge.
“Sadie!”
The night that had been the best of my life turned into the worst. Right before my very eyes.
Chapter 3 – Sadie
Present Day
When I woke up, his face was pinned to my frontal lobe. I didn’t know if I’d been dreaming about him. I hardly dreamed anymore. For that, you needed memories, or so they said.
But it was him. I would know that face anywhere. He was famous. Brian McMurray played for the Florida Sharks and he was on the news all the time.
That wasn’t the only reason why I knew his face. Once upon a time, just after the accident, he had spent time with me. He had tried to convince me that I knew him and I loved him.
I didn’t. Then again, I didn’t know much anymore. There was a time when my life had been full of memories and achievements. Now, they were just words on paper, evidence of a life I couldn’t remember.
I had to get out of bed and get ready to cheer at a football game, but I couldn’t stop thinking about this Brian guy. As a general rule, I tried not to think of things that remind me that I can’t remember my past, but right now, he was stuck in my head. And thinking about him made me think of all the things I couldn’t remember.
The accident had robbed me of my past, and in the process, I had lost my identity. We are the sum of our experiences, and all I had left was what everyone told me about mine. Therefore, even though I wished I could have remembered his handsome, caring looking face, I couldn’t. I didn’t have enough identity of my own to know what someone else had been like in what I started to refer to as my “past life.”
The accident had happened the night of our senior prom, or so they told me. I had fallen off the cliff at High Rock and hit my head on a rock. I had lost so much. I was still alive, and the doctors said it was a miracle.
I was in a coma for weeks and they weren’t sure I was going to wake up. When I finally did, it was as if I was starting with a blank page when I should have had a whole book filled with memories of my life. At first, I wasn’t as grateful as everyone else seemed that I was alive. To have no memories, no identity, no sense of who I even was, often felt just the same as being dead, anyway.
I couldn’t remember important milestones. Some facts were just missing. I knew some people well, and others got upset because they had been there just as long, and I didn’t know who they were at all.
Brian had been one of those people. Apparently, he’d been my boyfriend of two years. The one who had taken my virginity just before the accident.
That didn’t count. If I couldn’t remember it, it hadn’t happened.
When I saw Brian on the field last night, I had felt something. A jolt of some kind. I didn’t know what it was. I didn’t know why I would feel that way. Except for the three months he’d tried to bring me back, and I had tried so hard to push him away because I was frustrated with not being able to remember him, he was a stranger to me. But strangers didn’t elicit that kind of response.
I pressed my hand against my temple, feeling the scar. Only the tip was visible. The rest of it disappeared into my hair which had grown again, thank God. But the scar was there as a constant reminder of everything I’d lost.
It wasn’t just my past, either. I struggled to plan for the future. No one knows how much we build on our past until we don’t have it anymore.
Seeing Brian had made me feel different this time. Before, when he’d insisted I was his girlfriend, I had wanted desperately to get away from him. He’d been a stranger, comfortable with touching me when I didn’t know who the hell he was. All I’d wanted was for him to leave me alone.
This time, when I’d seen him, I’d had to fight the urge to go to him. Something about him had been magnetic.
That scared the hell out of me. I didn’t know what I was feeling, and I didn’t know why. I didn’t know how I was going to deal with this.
At first, everyone had been full of hope that I would get my memories back. I was young, healthy, and fit. The doctors had predicted a speedy recovery. As the months had passed, it had become clear that there was nothing. I wouldn’t remember.
Slowly, the people who had tried so hard at first faded away. I had fewer and fewer friends left. They told me I’d changed. How could I have not changed when the cornerstones of who I was had been removed? Finally, only my parents were left, and I had to start over, building a life on nothing.
I had graduated from school, but I couldn’t remember what I’d learned. I had been enrolled in college, but when I started, I couldn’t focus in class, and learning new things was hard.
Finally, I gave up and fell back on the only thing I knew, the one thing that coursed through my veins like nothing else. Fitness.
I had always been active, with a curvy hourglass, athletic figure, and even though my mind knew nothing, my body remembered. My muscles knew what they had to do, which gave a whole new meaning to the term “muscle memory.” Cheerleading was the one thing I had left, and I threw myself into it. Everyone said I had already been the best cheerleader on the team prior to my accident, but now I had somehow gotten even better at it.
Fast forward five years, and I was one of the most sought-after coaches for women’s cheerleading. I had taken high school teams to nationals. I had trained teams for major sporting events. And I dabbled in personal training on the side.
Slowly, I had created a new life for myself.
Brian’s face flashed in front of me again, but I shook it off. After everything I’d gone through to get back on my feet, I didn’t need reminders of everything I’d lost.
I got into the shower and got ready for the game. I was a busy person with no time to dwell on sad things from the past. Concentrating on my present and future was how I kept moving forward, or else I would be too depressed about the past.
I had something in the here and now to do— just like I always do— and it was time to do it. No matter how much these persistent thoughts of this Brian guy tried to get in my way.
Chapter 4 – Sadie
Lorraine met me at the Hard Rock Stadium. From time to time, they let the minor leagues go where the big boys played, and the turnout was always fantastic. Excitement lingered in the air. I made my way to the women’s locker room, and my girls were in there, dressed in their uniforms, ready for action.
Lorraine, my assistant and best friend, was already present, and she came to give me a hug. She was a friend I’d made after the accident, someone who hadn’t been involved at all. I’d told her about it, but the only Sadie she knew was the one I was now, which is exactly how I liked it. She was a loyal friend, and she expected nothing from me other than what I could give. Which at times over these past five years, hasn’t been a whole lot.
“Are we excited, ladies?” I asked.
They cheered. We would dance next to the field during the game. During timeouts, they would take the field and entertain the spectators. The cheerleaders were a big favorite.
“Looks like you’ve got them under control,” I said to Lorraine. “I’m going to grab us sodas before the game starts.”
She nodded, and I left the locker room again. I cut through the VIP section, where I wasn’t technically allowed, and almost made it through without trouble when I bumped into someone.
“Oh, my God, I’m so sorry,” I said, keeping my head down.
If whoever this was asked me for my ticket or pass or whatever, I would get in trouble, because I didn’t have one.
“Sadie?” the man asked.
I looked up into Brian McMurray’s cerulean blue eyes. Of course, he would be in the VIP section. His eyes smiled at me, and his sandy hair was messy, like he’d only finger combed it.
“Brian,” I said.
My stomach turned. It was the same feeling I’d had when I’d seen him on the field last night. His eyes had seemed to turn more blue since then, though.
God, he was s
exy.
“You remember me,” he said.
I nodded slowly. “From after the accident.”
He nodded, and I couldn’t tell what he was thinking. His face was unreadable. Although, if he showed me an expression, I doubted I would know what it meant. I didn’t know him like that.
“What are you doing here?” he asked.
I swallowed.
The truth?
I might as well give it to him.
“Cheating,” I said.
He raised his eyebrows, lips curling into a smile.
“I want to skip out on the crowds,” I said. “I wasn’t going to sit here or anything.”
He chuckled. “Smart move.”
I relaxed. Something about him was calming. I didn’t remember that about him from when I was in the hospital, but the last time we spoke, I had been angry the whole time, resentful, difficult. I didn’t pay attention to the people around me, only to myself, my agony, and my problems.
He wore jeans that were faded in all the right places, a blue-collared shirt that brought out his eyes with sleeves rolled up halfway, the top button of his shirt undone. He was super toned, and had tattoos.
“How have you been?” he asked.
A security guard walked past and didn’t even look in my direction. Standing next to and chatting with Mr. Famous had its perks.
“I’ve been good,” I said. “Training hard with the cheerleaders.”
Brian nodded. His eyes were still gentle, his lips on the verge of a smile all the time. I had forgotten how tall he was, too. He loomed over me but in an alpha male sort of way, not in a way that made me feel crowded or creeped out.
“And you?” I asked.
He chuckled. “Well, my career has been going very well.”
It was a very impersonal answer. And your personal life? I wanted to ask, but it seemed unfair of me to do that. I wasn’t sure why I wanted to know.
“Your cheerleaders look good, by the way,” he said. “I can see you’ve been working hard.”
I nodded. I didn’t know what else to say. This happened whenever I met someone that had known me before the accident. I always felt like I was disappointing them somehow, like I was a watered down version of who they needed me to be, and since I couldn’t remember who that had been, I could never figure out how to make it right.