by T. J. Kline
“What is it you want from me, Angel?” His voice was husky, vibrating her nerve endings with shivers of delight.
“Why do you call me that?”
“Why wouldn’t I call you that?” His eyes were completely shadowed now, only the distant fire reflecting and giving them a dangerous gleam within. “I’m just not sure where you’ve been sent from.”
It hurt knowing he didn’t trust her, but she couldn’t blame him. She’d opened up to him, only to close herself off with the phone call from Joe, making it clear that her job came first. What if Joe forced her to pursue this story for ratings? Would she sacrifice this family and destroy their business to propel her career and help her father? Could she trust herself to make the right decision, even at the cost of her own future, or her father’s?
She leaned closer, feeling his breath on her face as she looked up at him. “I’m sorry for . . .” She wasn’t sure how to finish. He saw her as a threat and her shallow words wouldn’t change that. “I’m doing the best I can to not hurt anyone. I’m sorry I can’t make you any other promises right now.”
“Angel, promises aren’t what I want.” His thumb traced the line of her jaw, running along the outer shell of her ear. She could hear the rasp of desire in his voice as he stared at her lips. “But I can’t give in to anything that will jeopardize this family, not again. Unfortunately, right now, that includes you.”
She felt her heart sink. He had no idea they shared the same risk—the future of her family was at stake if she didn’t get a story. In a sick twist of fate, getting her story might just make her future bittersweet now that she’d met a man who could scale the protective walls she’d built. Derek dropped his hands and walked to where the others stood around the fire, leaving her trusting that her father’s chance at sobriety was worth the price of her broken heart.
Chapter Fourteen
* * *
ANGELA GROANED AS the alarm sounded the next morning and Sydney slipped from the bed. “You have fifteen minutes while I feed the horses to jump in the shower,” she warned as she laughed. “The baby will be up in about thirty minutes so you’ll be getting up either way.”
Angela cracked one eye open just enough to see Sydney pull a sweatshirt from the small closet before heading outside.
“Why does everything seem to happen early with you people?” Angela asked as she pulled the sheet over her head and snuggled under the warm blankets, wishing she could go back to her dream. She knew Sydney wouldn’t feel one ounce of sympathy about making her take a cold shower if she went back to sleep.
“Ugh!” Giving up, she pushed back the covers and closed the sliding door between the bathroom and the kitchen. The water was warm, loosening the muscles in her shoulders that were still a bit sore from her riding lessons with Derek. She yawned, wishing one last time for a lazy day to sleep in. Angela reached for the bottle of shampoo and was rinsing the suds when she heard the front door of the trailer open.
“I’m almost finished, Sydney, then I’ll start breakfast.”
She wrapped a towel around herself, stepping into the bedroom to get dressed. She slipped a camisole over her wet head and pushed her arms through a long-sleeved Western shirt before pulling on a pair of Sydney’s Miss Me jeans. She’d been unsure about wearing them, opting for jeans that wouldn’t cost so much, but Sydney had insisted that her first “real” rodeo was a special occasion and she needed to look good. She slid her hands over her hips to her thighs, loving the way they fit. No wonder they cost more than her clothing budget for the month.
She brushed her teeth quickly and ran a comb through her tangled hair, letting the waves fall to her waist as they dried, pulling the sides back with a barrette. She glanced at her reflection. She would worry about makeup later so Sydney could get her shower before the baby woke up. She slid the doorway open and hurried down the three stairs, running into Derek at the kitchen counter.
“Oh!” She stopped with her hands against his chest, his arms circling her waist, keeping them both from falling against the counter. “I didn’t see you there.”
He didn’t remove his hands from her waist and she could feel the heat from his fingers through both shirts as he moved her so her back was against the counter. “I gathered that,” he laughed.
His grin was infectious and she prayed the rest of their day would be this carefree. Please, can I have just one more day?
She pushed thoughts of Joe, the story, and her father to the far reaches of her mind, promising herself she could worry about them tomorrow. “Coffee?” He opened the cupboard to remove two cups but didn’t release his hold on her. “Although, I’m not sure you need it if you’re moving so quickly already.”
“I thought you were Sydney. I was trying to hurry so she could get a shower before Kassie wakes up.”
She couldn’t help but notice how dark his eyes looked this morning, or how much she loved the cinnamon-musk scent of him. Without warning, Derek dipped his head and brushed his lips against hers, sending a jolt of pleasure to her core. His hands slid up her spine, molding her to his chest. He groaned and deepened the kiss, searing her senses as she met his desire with her own. Her fingers slid around his neck, winding in his hair and pulling him down to her. She couldn’t get enough of him, wanting to be closer, hating the barrier of their clothing between them.
A quiet whimper broke through their hunger and Derek sighed against her lips. “Sounds like someone else needs attention more than I do.” He smiled and pressed one last kiss to her surprised mouth before moving to the portable crib his sister had set up by the couch. “Good morning, little lady.” He scooped up the baby and curled her against his chest, tucking her dark head under his chin.
The child instantly quieted and Angela couldn’t help but smile at the sight of the big cowboy with a curly-haired baby nestled against his muscular chest, looking so small in his arms. Angela’s heart thumped in her chest and she suddenly understood the desire to marry and have a family. It was such a foreign concept for her, she stepped backward, and the smile slipped from her lips. After seeing her parents’ relationship she’d promised herself she would never put a child through that. Now, as Derek pressed a kiss to his niece’s head, she realized she’d been duped, assuming all marriages ended up like her parents.
She couldn’t catch her breath, and her hands shook as she reached for her mother’s ring. It was a tangible reminder of what happened when you loved the wrong person, someone you didn’t know well enough, someone who didn’t love you back. If there was ever a man she was wrong for, it was Derek. She turned her back on him, trying to pour herself a cup of coffee, and only managed to spill on the counter.
“Damn,” she cursed under her breath, reaching for a towel.
“You okay?” He passed her the towel as he rocked Kassie slowly from side to side. Derek was so at ease with the child in his arms she could imagine him with several of his own.
“I’m fine.” She threw the towel on the sink and headed toward the door, desperate to put some space between them.
She ran down the steps of the trailer and headed toward the pen where the horses ate quietly, crossing her arms over the railing and putting her forehead against her arms. They were as different as two people could be. They wanted entirely different things from life. He deserved marriage and a family. She couldn’t offer him that sort of permanence. The heat between them might flare into an inferno, but that fire would destroy both of their futures. She didn’t realize she was crying until she felt the tears soak through the arm of the shirt.
She had never cried over a man. But this was more than that and she knew it. It was the realization that she might never have the things she’d never admitted wanting before: marriage, children . . . family. It was easy to say you didn’t want something when there was a possibility to have it someday. Now that she was faced with making a choice between her career and a family, she didn’t want to choose. She knew she was being selfish, but she couldn’t help herself.
&n
bsp; “Angel, are you okay?”
She felt his hands on her shoulders and it shattered her heart. He’d seen that she was upset and had come after her. He had no idea he was tearing her heart out, making her miss even more what they could never have. A sob escaped her and he spun her to face him, looking into her eyes.
“Honey, what is wrong?” He brushed the tears from her cheeks and pulled her into his arms, smoothing his hands over her back, pressing a kiss to her temple. “I can’t help if you don’t talk to me.”
“It’s stupid,” she muttered against his chest, her lips burned from his heated flesh beneath the cotton t-shirt, even as she wrapped her arms around his waist.
He brushed his hand over her hair. “What’s stupid?”
“Me, crying over this.” She looked up at him. “And there is no this.”
Derek cupped her face, his thumbs running along her jaw, and he grinned at her. “There could be a this.”
“No, there can’t. You’ve said so yourself. You don’t trust me, and I don’t blame you. I wouldn’t trust me either. I can’t fall for you. I barely even know you.”
He leaned forward until their foreheads touched and smiled down at her. “You’re falling for me?”
“Yes,” she admitted, blushing. “I mean . . . I don’t know. But I can’t fall for you because I don’t do relationships, ever. I . . .” She tried to pull away from him, pushing against his chest.
“Oh, no you don’t.” He pulled her back into his arms, holding her wrists loosely behind her and backing her against the metal corral panels. “You’re not going to run away this time and you’re not going to hide behind any walls.” She laid her cheek against his chest, pressing her lips against his shirt. Derek tipped her chin up with one hand. “And you’re not going to distract me with that sweet mouth.”
He let go of her wrists and curled one hand at the base of her neck causing shivers of heat to trickle down her spine, hypnotizing her with languid tenderness. She could read the raw emotion in his eyes and it scared her. “I know what my reservations about this relationship are, but tell me yours.”
“I don’t have relationships. I don’t know how.” She glanced over his shoulder to see several of the cowboys beginning their workday. Soon everyone on the crew would see them together and begin speculating.
“So, you’ve had a few bad break-ups. We all have.” He shrugged.
“No, I’ve never had a relationship that lasted more than a few dates. I don’t let people close. I’ve never seen a relationship work out well so I just don’t have them.”
She tried to push past him but he grabbed her hips and held her in place. “Huh-uh. Right here.” He pointed to his eyes. “You’re afraid. I get it. You don’t want to trust me any more than I want to trust you.” She looked down at his chest. She hadn’t thought of it that way. Derek brushed back her hair and her eyes found his. “I see those wheels turning.”
She wanted to squash the questions beating at her mind in time with her racing heart; it was safer to retreat behind the wall, to patch the holes he’d chipped in it and hide again. But, seeing the hope gleaming in his eyes, the unspoken promise of what could be, she couldn’t ignore the longing coursing through her veins.
“Just for today, Angel, let’s forget about that crap. Forget about your story, our past mistakes, or whatever worries we have about the future.” The pad of his thumb traced her lower lip. “For today, it’s just you and me and this.” One of the horses chose that moment to bump her shoulder with his nose and make his presence known. “And my job,” he added, jerking his chin toward the horses with that grin that melted her will to refuse him. He grew serious. “Let’s just see what happens today, and then we can make some decisions.”
“But, how can we . . .”
Derek slanted his lips over hers, silencing her skepticism, his tongue sweeping away any trace of uncertainty and replacing it with his quiet confidence. “Just one day,” he whispered against her lips.
Angela wanted what he offered more than she’d ever wanted anything else. What harm could one day do?
SHE KNEW SHE should be taking notes or at least recording a few observations while she watched the preparations. Mike had taken her down and shown her how to slip a horn wrap over the cattle in the chute before they let each one loose into the arena. He explained that letting them loose helped the animals feel less stress and made them perform in a predictable fashion for the ropers, since these particular cattle were used for only the team roping event. Once all of the cattle were returned to their pen, horn wraps still intact, they let the steer roping calves into the chutes.
Angela was surprised at how forthright Mike was in answering every question she asked. If he was unsure he would admit it, a trait she found lacking in most people she interviewed. He passed her off to Scott who took her behind the rough stock chutes and patiently showed her the equipment and tack they used. She tried to focus on what he was showing her but she couldn’t help but make comparisons between the brothers. Scott was so serious, without a hint of humor behind his eyes, and she wondered what Sydney had seen in him. He was handsome, but he lacked Derek’s quick smile. Both men were tall compared to most of the cowboys working for them, but Scott lacked the sheer mass of his younger brother.
Angela found her gaze straying from the equipment to where Derek sat astride his black gelding at the end of the arena, talking with the announcer and one of the rodeo representatives. As if expecting her to be watching him, his eyes met hers and he shot her a cocky grin. She arched a brow in rebuke but laughed. He was far too sure of himself where she was concerned.
She looked back at Scott, trying to concentrate on what he was telling her about the fleece flank strap and how it helped the horse buck in a more natural fashion, but her thoughts continued to stray back to Derek’s last kiss and the slow burn it created in her belly. The radio on Scott’s hip beeped before she heard Mike’s voice.
“Scott, the vet is down here. Do you want to inspect the animals with him and Jake?”
“We’re at the chutes, so send them my way.” Scott spoke into the radio before tucking it back into his pocket. “Want to inspect the stock with us?”
She glanced one last time at Derek across the arena, biting her lower lip. “Sure, but I won’t know what I’m looking for.”
He chuckled. “I didn’t think you would, but it’s a chance for you to see how we do it.”
Angela followed him from the chutes and down the stairs to the pen of horses. She stood to one side, petting the neck of one gelding when he dropped his head over the railing. It still awed her that these sweet animals could turn into bucking monsters when they entered the chute with a rider. She watched Scott enter the pen with the two men and halter one horse at a time, inspecting everything from the top of the animal’s ears, pointing out any bumps or scrapes, to lifting the horse’s feet and checking the bottoms. Two animals were culled out by Scott as unfit for the performance. One had a small cut on the front of his leg, and the other, according to Scott, had favored his right foot when he exited the trailer. Both were moved to another pen. They moved into the next pen where the bareback broncs were finishing their breakfast and repeated the process.
She followed them to the first pen of cattle, wondering how they were going to inspect them. She wasn’t overly surprised to see that they weren’t able to inspect them as closely since they were more skittish than the horses. She heard the vet mention that he’d already watched them as they went through the chutes earlier that morning and indicated one calf by number he felt shouldn’t be allowed in the performance. Scott had one of the crew move the calf into a separate pen where the vet inspected him more closely.
“I think this guy may have been kicked on the ride over, Scott.” She edged closer to hear better over the bawling calf. “See, right here.” The vet pointed out a scrape on the calf’s hide where it had a scab already forming. “Just put some ointment on it while you’re here and he’ll be fine.”
&
nbsp; So much for the theory that they were putting injured animals into the draw. The rodeo hadn’t even started yet and nearly every complaint she’d researched had been disproved. Her phone chirped from her pocket and she glanced at the screen. Her stomach fell when she saw the caller: Officer Miller. She stepped away, not wanting anyone to hear her end of the conversation, and made her way toward the fifth-wheel. “Hello?”
“Angela? We have your father again.” Her stomach dropped to her toes and she closed her eyes slowly. It wasn’t even lunchtime yet. How could he be drunk already? What was she going to do now with no savings left and no way to get him out? Why hadn’t Joe been watching him?
“Officer Miller, I . . . I don’t have the money to bail him out right now. I’m going to need to make some calls.”
“I just came on shift, so I’ll try to keep him in holding as long as I can.”
“Thank you.” She breathed the words as she hung up.
Guilt flooded her, squeezing the air from her lungs. She couldn’t fault Joe for not watching him. He wasn’t Joe’s responsibility. She was sitting at the table in the fifth-wheel trying to steel her nerve to call Joe and ask him to bail her father out when Derek came inside.
“I thought you were with Scott?” She shrugged as he made his way to the refrigerator for a bottle of water. “Maybe we should both take a break, then.” He reached for her hand and pulled her to stand, circling his arms around her waist and pulling her close.
She couldn’t believe he had the power to send her senses into an uncontrollable spiral of desire in spite of the dire predicament she was facing. He looked down and frowned, pausing with his lips mere inches from her.