by E. L. Todd
It was different with him than it was with any other guy. I’d fallen hard for a few guys in my past, and they were never worth the heartache. Wilder hurt me a few times, but I always knew there was something special about him.
I didn’t know if we would last forever. I didn’t know if one of us would die the next day. Maybe marriage and kids would never happen. But that didn’t matter right now. We were together, and we would enjoy our time for as long as possible.
At the end of the week, my wound was a lot better. I took off the gauze and let the scar touch the fabric of my jacket. It wasn’t a pretty sight, nothing like the flawless skin I used to possess, but I wasn’t ashamed of it either.
Wilder walked up to my desk in the bunker where I was doing research on a new person of interest. “He’s asking for you again.”
After a week went by without a peep from him, I assumed my father made his peace with my dismissal. I made a mistake by not visiting with him when I had a chance. But it seemed like I made the right decision, after all. “What did he say?”
“He wants to speak to you. I couldn’t get anything else out of him.”
I ran my fingers through my hair, thinking about the weight of the situation. This was the second time he asked to speak to me, so he must have something important to say.
“What do we do?” Wilder always made the decisions, but now he was yielding the floor to me. “I don’t think we should reject him a second time. You’ve stuck to your guns long enough.”
“Yeah, I think you’re right.”
“Are you gonna go now?”
This was psychological warfare and I had to play my cards right. “No. I’ll be in there in a few hours. Don’t speak to him.”
“You’re gonna keep him waiting?”
“Yeah.”
Wilder eventually nodded. “Alright. Smart move. It’ll make him think you took some convincing. Or you were just busy doing something more important than thinking about him.”
“Exactly.” I turned back to my computer and got to work.
Wilder took a seat beside me, looking fit in his t-shirt.
“Anything else?” I asked.
“How are you gonna play this?”
“I don’t know,” I answered. “I can’t prepare unless I know what he wants. So I’ll play it by ear.”
“Alright. I’ll be on the line with you.”
***
I paused outside the door to take a breath before I walked in. If my father asked for me twice, he probably had something important to say. But who knows? Maybe he was making me into a victim of manipulation. I wouldn’t know until I walked inside.
The speaker was in my ear and Wilder and the rest of his crew were sitting on the other side of the glass. The entire exchange would be watched by the brightest minds in the world. I rested my hand on the door and took another breath before I walked inside.
My father looked exactly the same as he did last time I saw him, but his beard was a little thicker. He wore the same cargo outfit with his hands handcuffed in front of him. They rested on his thighs underneath the table where I couldn’t see them.
I held my head high and lowered myself into the chair across from him. I didn’t bring any notes or any emotion. I crossed my legs and stared at him just as coldly as he stared at me the first time I walked in there.
Today, he wasn’t nearly as hostile. He stared at me just the way he used to when I came home from school. There was sincerity in his eyes, a slight hint of vulnerability. He didn’t look a criminal at all, despite his attire and handcuffs.
“I have a lot of things to do today.” That was all I was going to say. I wasn’t going to admit I walked in there because he asked to see me. I was going to say as little as possible.
“I’m sure you do,” he said quietly. He stared down at his handcuffs before he looked at me again. “Thanks for seeing me.”
I didn’t respond to his civility. He didn’t give me any respect last time I was there, and I was going to do the same to him. “If you want to show your gratitude, then don’t waste my time.” If I was too stern, he may not open up to me. But I couldn’t be a pushover either.
He looked at his handcuffs again, this time a little longer. After he collected his thoughts he looked at me again. “I never wanted you to be involved in this, Unicorn.”
The second he mentioned my nickname, I wanted to cry.
“I wanted you to be ignorant of all this for the rest of your life. Somehow, you got involved…and then everything we had was gone.”
I didn’t know what point he was trying to make. “You could have chosen not to be a criminal and we wouldn’t be here at all right now.”
“Easier said than done…”
“It’s not hard not to kill people,” I snapped. “It’s not hard to be a good person.” I forced myself to lower my tone so I wouldn’t let my emotion get the best of me. “None of it is hard. But all you care about is money.”
“It’s more complicated than that.”
“Not from where I’m standing. Is this the only reason you wanted to speak to me? To justify everything you’ve done? Because I don’t care about your reasons. Like I said, all I care about is moving forward.”
He nodded slightly. “You hate me, don’t you?”
The question stung me. “I hate everything you’ve done. You aren’t my father, just a stranger.”
“So yes,” he said with a sad laugh.
I didn’t confirm or deny.
“I don’t want you to hate me, Gray. I thought I’d made my peace with the fact you do, but I guess I don’t.”
“You can’t change the way I feel.” There was no point in trying.
“I know why I’ve done all the things I’ve done. I just hope you know it’s more complicated than you realize. Terrorism is complicated.”
I rolled my eyes. “Whatever you say. If you have nothing of value to give me, I should leave. I’ve got things to do.”
“I do. Just give me a second.”
Was he really going to give me anything? “Give you a second to what?”
“To ask you a few things.”
“You don’t get to ask me anything,” I hissed.
“If I tell you everything I know and work with you to diffuse current plans, will you let me be your father again? A real father this time. No secrets, no lies. Just the two of us.”
I didn’t blink because I was so surprised by what he said. The last time he spoke he acted like I didn’t mean anything to him. Now he was laying down all his armor and surrendering to me. He was offering everything in exchange just to have me back in his life. I couldn’t believe it.
“Gray?”
I wanted to answer yes right away. I was getting exactly what I wanted—my father and his contacts.
But Wilder’s voice came into my ear. “No. Don’t take the deal.”
***
The second I was out of the room I confronted Wilder. “What do you mean don’t take the deal?”
“I meant it exactly as I said it.” He walked into the conference room as I followed behind him. “I think it’s a ploy, a trick.”
“How?”
“He gives us fake intel and sets us up.”
“Why would he do that? He’s not getting anything out of me. It’s not like he’s asking for freedom.”
“But he’s trying to get you to trust him.”
“Well, it’s gonna take a lot more than that for me to trust him. He knows I’m not an idiot.” I sat in one of the leather chairs and crossed my arms over my chest. My heart was still racing a million miles an hour.
“I still think it’s a trick. He’s using his one play—that’s you.”
“I’m not a play.”
“It’s all he’s got right now.”
Maybe my father wasn’t a good person, but he wouldn’t stoop so low. “I don’t think that’s what he’s trying to do.”
“So you think he’s being genuine?” he asked incredulously. “That he�
�s willing to sacrifice everything he’s worked for just for you?”
“I am his daughter.”
Wilder shook his head before he paced around the room. “He didn’t give a damn about that the first time you spoke. I’m sure you haven’t forgotten that.”
“Maybe our conversation changed his mind.”
He gave me a disappointed look. “Come on, Gray. You’re better than this. Think with your brain, not your heart.”
“I am,” I snapped. “I still think he’s being genuine. Maybe losing the one person he has left has made him rethink everything.”
“Men like that don’t have regrets. And you’re forgetting he killed your mother.”
Like I’d ever forgotten. Not a day went by when I didn’t think about that. “Allegedly.”
“Allegedly?” he asked incredulously. “I gave you my intel. It’s not wrong.”
“Maybe there’s more to the story.”
It looked like he wanted to punch his fist through the wall. “Come on, Gray. Don’t do this. Don’t be stupid.”
“Stupid?” I rose out of my hair, officially pissed. “I’m not being stupid. This isn’t wishful thinking on my part. I looked him in the eye and I think he’s being sincere. That’s my judgement speaking.”
“You risked your life to save his only just a few months ago. No, you aren’t being logical right now.”
“And he surrendered himself to save me,” I reminded him. “He didn’t have to do that.”
“He said he owed you. That was all.”
“I don’t believe that for a second and neither do you.”
Wilder kept pacing around the room, his neck tight and covered with corded veins.
“I think we should give this a try.”
“I’m not letting my men die because you trust that psychopath. I never put my people into harm’s way.”
“We don’t have to make any moves. We can just see if his intel checks out.”
Wilder took a seat in the chair on the other side of the room. He didn’t want to be anywhere near me, clearly. “I have a bad feeling about this.”
“I don’t.” Perhaps it was stupid for me to believe in the bond of family. But I remembered growing up with that man. He loved me—he had to.
“Even if he cooperates with us and gives us everything we need, we can’t just let him go. He needs to do time. He needs to be turned over to the justice system. We can’t just pardon him, Gray.”
That was something I hadn’t considered.
“Even if he does help us and gives us quality information, we’re still turning him over. And there’s no way he’s going to get on board with that.”
Probably not.
“And I’m not going to pardon him, Gray. No way, no how.”
I didn’t argue with him. I completely understood his feelings about the whole thing. This was his passion in life, his devotion. “So, can I accept the deal under the circumstance we still turn him over to the American police?”
Wilder pondered the question until he found his answer. “Yes.”
Chapter Ten
I sat across from my father again, feeling the same terror in my veins like any other time we were face to face. It was impressive that I kept my cool despite all the emotions surging through my body. I couldn’t see my own visage so I had no idea how I truly worked, but I managed to keep my face rested.
I sat in the same chair, crossed my legs like before, and rested my hands in my lap.
My father stared at me with an expression that was much more guarded than before. At the end of our last conversation, I excused myself without giving him any kind of response since Wilder told me to leave. “I assume you’ve had enough time to consider what I said.”
“Yes.”
“And?”
“Everyone at RB12 would be thrilled to have your help. Any intelligence or contacts you give us will be vital for our mission.”
“And you’re willing to walk away with me?”
“Walk away?” I was under the impression we would have a new start, not leave the current circumstance.
“Yes. We return home and start over with ordinary lives.”
“I can’t do that. I agree to start over with you and give us a clean break. But I’m not leaving RB12.”
“Why not? You fell into this situation. You aren’t an agent, sweetheart.”
My eyes narrowed at the insult. “But I can be.”
“Why would you want to? You’ve seen the kind of missions you’re expected to do. It’s not easy.”
“I never assumed it would be.”
“I have enough money stashed away to give us any kind of lifestyle you want. No work or school. We can settle by the beach somewhere.”
For a moment that sounded nice. “I need more than that. And I enjoy being here. I enjoy being part of the team. I may not do it for the rest of my life, but for the foreseeable future, this is where I belong.”
“You have no idea how dangerous it really is.”
“It’s nothing I can’t handle.” When I put my mind to something, I never give up. I wouldn’t let intimidation change my mind about my passion.
My father adjusted his hands in his lap, the metal clanking together as he moved.
“That’s non-negotiable.”
“Fine,” he said. “I accept your terms.”
“I have one more.”
“I’m listening.”
I suspected he would reject this right off the bat. “You give us all necessary information, you and I can start a new relationship, and you turn yourself in to the American authorities.”
When he smiled, I knew what his answer would be. “I’m not giving up my sources to you just to be handed over to the American government.”
“But you need to pay for your crimes.”
He raised an eyebrow. “By offering you all of my information and even aiding you in capturing my former accomplices, that’s more than enough payment. I’m not turning myself into anyone. I’m offering my help in exchange for your affection. That’s it.”
“And what are we supposed to do with you? Keep you as a prisoner forever?”
“If you don’t want to leave RB12, I suppose I’ll have to join.”
I stared at him blankly, doing my best not to illicit a reaction. “Join us?”
“Become an agent. Fight for your cause. It’s not too complicated to understand.”
“Not difficult to understand, but difficult to believe. RB12 has been your enemy for years.”
“No.” The hair on his head had grown out during his captivity. Now it was the longest I’d ever seen. “RB12 has never been my enemy. But I’ve always been their enemy. Big difference. Your organization is committed to catching criminals like me. It’s not personal.”
“And you would turn against everything you’ve worked for and betray all your accomplices?” Maybe Wilder was right. This sounded too good to be true.
“Yes.”
“Just to earn my forgiveness?” If he really wanted to get me on his side, all he had to do was be a normal man. He didn’t have to be a murderer. He could have worked at a hardware store and that would have been great.
After a pause, he nodded. “You’re the only person in this world that means anything to me. You’re something I can’t lose. You’re more valuable than all the diamonds I’ve stolen, the cash I’ve snatched from vaults, and everything else under the sun. Your blood is my blood. We’re the same. We’re family.”
As heartfelt as that was, I could only think of one person. “Mom.” I didn’t ask a question but I didn’t need to. “You killed her. Maybe I can tolerate you some day, but we’ll never be family.”
“Sweetheart, I didn’t kill her.”
“That’s not what Wilder said.”
“I’m sure he gets his intel from valuable sources, but not all information is correct. Sometimes its purposely misleading.”
“Meaning?”
“Your mother isn’t dead.”
&nbs
p; My heart stopped beating altogether.
“She left when you were young. She realized being a mother wasn’t suitable for her. She found a young man she fancied and ran off with him. That’s when I got involved in my career. I needed to support you, and I was also devastated. Traveling distracted me from my heartbreak. I only told you she was dead to spare your feelings. Years later, your mother was murdered. The man she ran off with was married, and I suspect the wife got to her. But I had nothing to do with that.”
I digested everything slowly, absorbing it like a brand new sponge that encountered water for the first time. I kept my breathing even despite the fact the panic was settling in. My fingers wanted to touch my hair and I wanted to shake my knee just to chase off the anxiety.
Wilder was silent over the intercom.
“I’m not gonna lie and pretend I haven’t killed people. I’ve robbed innocent people. I’ve been active in the new age of nuclear warfare. But I never laid a hand on your mother. I loved her very much. I’ve never regretted falling for her because I got you out of it.”
I tightened my arms across my chest and held his gaze. It was a little more difficult to keep my head held high. My shoulders began to slouch and I lost the determination I had just moments before.
“I’m looking into it,” Wilder said through the intercom.
“How do I know I can trust you?” I asked. “How do I know this isn’t a cheap ploy to learn about RB12?”
“Because I’ll tell you everything I know, you’ll check the accuracy, and when you realize the information is good you’ll keep me around. Enlisting me as one of your own is for my protection. I haven’t agreed with your organization in the past, but I respect it. It’s very powerful, a formidable alliance.”
He could keep saying pretty words, but it would never be enough to completely convince me of anything.
“I don’t expect you to trust me right away,” he whispered. “Maybe you’ll never trust me. But having the opportunity to be with you is enough for me.”
“You’re really prepared to walk away from everything just to have a relationship with me?”
“Absolutely.”