“No. It’s just that things have been sort of up in the air, and I really didn’t know what to tell her about you.”
She fought for control. She could not cry. “I wasn’t here because you wouldn’t include me. It was your choice, not mine. Now your daughter is upset that this is my home as well as hers. You wanted my help, but how can I help if Emma doesn’t want me here?”
Hesitating, his eyes searching hers, he said, “I had to make a decision about who was in her life when we arrived here. She was crying and upset. I’d already messed up badly where you were concerned. From what I could tell, there was no chance that you wanted to be part of our lives. It wasn’t a decision meant to hurt you. It was a decision made to offer my daughter as stable a life as possible under the circumstances.”
He softened his tone as he moved to the bench beside her. “For now, you’re someone she likes and can play with. I didn’t take it any further than that because I didn’t want to disappoint her.”
“Why didn’t you ask me if I wanted her to know that I lived here?” Grace demanded, aware of how unreasonable she sounded but not able to stem the accusation.
“Because we aren’t together anymore, Grace. We’re trying to figure things out, and I really believe we will. But if you weren’t coming back, then what would be the point in telling Emma who you really were? If I told her, only to have you decide not to return home, how would Emma cope with that? It’s clear she likes you, but if she lost you, too…”
His words hung in the air between them.
Her heart pounding in dread, she said, “Aidan, if only we’d waited and worked out the details of taking her into our lives… All of this would have turned out so differently.”
“Yeah…” He looked into her eyes, his face solemn and sad. “If I could turn back the clock…” He sighed as he reached for her hand. “What do we do now? What do we tell her? Whatever we tell her now won’t be easily changed without making her upset.”
As she looked at her husband, she had to admit that she was to blame here, as well. She and Aidan had to fight for their marriage. They’d never had to before this, but now everything hinged on both of them seeing what they were about to lose. “There’s no point in rehashing the past where Emma is concerned. We both should have found a way to talk to each other about this.”
His eyes searched her face, his gaze filled with love and longing. “All I’ve ever wanted is you, Grace. I can’t help believing that, if we work on it, we can be happy again.” He eased closer, the scent of his skin intoxicating. “We can be a family.”
CHAPTER NINETEEN
AIDAN COULDN’T STOP himself from putting his arm around Grace’s shoulders. He needed to touch her, to feel her close to him while he waited for her to speak. What would she say? Would she feel pressured by Emma’s needs to answer him before she was ready? But she’d come here to see him, and that had to mean she wanted to work things out.
Or maybe her only reason for being here was to get her quilting fabric. They’d talked a little when she first came to the house, but she hadn’t committed to anything other than that they needed to talk. Something they’d both agreed they needed to do long before she arrived at the door.
“Grace, please believe me when I tell you I’ve changed. This does not have to be resolved right this minute. You came over here to get your parcel. I’m the one who assumed that you might be willing to be here for Emma. I dragged you into my problem of finding someone to replace Lisa. That wasn’t fair.”
“With Emma in our lives, it’s crucial that we face what is going on between us. I accept that you made your decision about me and my role here so as not to confuse her, but if we don’t decide what we’re doing, how we’re going to live, we will confuse her even more.”
His heart sank to his stomach. Was she saying that they couldn’t fix their differences over Emma? Each time he saw Grace with Emma he was more and more certain that she was falling in love with their child. “Then what do we tell Emma when she asks who you are? Do we say you’re a friend? If we aren’t getting back together, will you still want to be part of Emma’s life? You have to help me here, Grace. I’m lost and afraid that it’s all over between us.”
She stood before him, her face turned to his, a sad smile hovering on her lips. “I love you, Aidan. I came here not only for my fabric, but also to work on how to solve our issues. I was so afraid to come here.”
He started to interrupt, eager to explain she needn’t be afraid of him, but she put her hand over his mouth to stop him.
“Aidan, we can’t let our marriage go. We’ve been through a rough patch, but I have to believe we can work this out.”
“Grace, the truth is this. I don’t deserve your kindness and caring. But if you’re willing to work on this, I will do whatever it takes to have you back here in my life.”
He drew in a deep breath to ease the thundering in his chest. “We can do this, but we have to be clear what is going on in our lives where Emma is concerned. If there is one thing I’ve learned in the short time she’s been with me, it’s that she has to feel safe, to know that people love her. And we still have to get through Lisa’s return to Spartanburg and how Emma will cope with that,” he said, pulling Grace’s hand closer to his chest in an attempt to draw her to him.
He smiled at her, holding her close as he remembered how stupidly he’d behaved. “I wish I’d listened to you. If I had, and we’d made a plan for putting our family together, none of this would have happened.”
“We don’t know that. I doubt very much that any child could lose their mother and not have issues that needed to be dealt with.”
He was so thankful for her words. But not nearly as thankful as he felt with her beside him, talking with him, sharing her thoughts. “Are you ready to be a full-time mom? Ready to forgive me for screwing everything up? If we are going to be with each other, we need to figure out how that will work, at least, as much as we can. I realize we won’t get everything right, but if we can find a way to be happy as a family…”
He had to find out what would happen next or die trying. “What do you want to do? I really want you to tell me what you think would work out best for you, for all three of us.”
She didn’t say anything for so long he began to panic. What was she thinking? What would he do if she didn’t feel she could be part of his life?
Steady. Trust yourself. Trust her.
Her eyes met his. He knew by her expression that she’d made a decision. His body felt drained, finished.
“Aidan, I don’t want to rehash the past few weeks and what’s gone on between us. You’re right when you say we need to make a decision, both for us and for Emma. Especially Emma.”
She looked up into his face and it was as if the sky had brightened. “What you did hurt me so much. But what you said is true. It was years ago, and I believe you when you say you didn’t continue to see Deidre. I want to be with you. I want us to be a family.”
He wanted to yell for joy as he wrapped his arms around her and kissed her face, her eyes, her lips, while his hands roamed over her back, down her body. Her sudden intake of breath fanned his desire. “I’ve missed you. Every day. Every minute of every day.” He smoothed his hands over her body, feeling all the familiar spaces, her curves, the bony crest of her collarbone. He loved all of it.
“I missed you, too…so much. It’s been awful being without you. It was so strange to come to my house, see things being done differently and realize that if I didn’t work things out with you I would not be coming to this house, our home, ever again.”
“So, what do we do now?”
“Can we think of something, some way to spend time together as a family? Away from here? Away from all the reminders of what we nearly did to each other?” Grace asked, letting her fingers play along the open neck of his shirt, her touch making him wish that there was no one in the hous
e but them.
As his eyes met hers, he could be certain of only one thing. If they’d been alone, he would have taken her upstairs and made love to her.
“We could always spend a day with Emma at a theme park where she could play. We could watch her be happy. If she asks who you are, we can say that you and I are her family.”
“How do we know what she’ll ask when we go back into the house?” Grace asked.
“We don’t,” he said, running over the possibilities, all the while distracted by the way Grace’s body fitted along his, the scent of her hair, the warmth of her skin. “Maybe we should go in now and tell her who you are. Why you’re here.”
“And what if she is so upset she can’t be soothed? What if she can’t accept me as part of her life, not to mention the idea that I would be her mother? Maybe we should wait for a little while until she’s more settled?”
Aidan met Grace’s anxious gaze and knew only one thing. He and Grace would once again be in the same bed tonight. Whatever needed to happen, whatever explanations were necessary, he would not live without her for another night. “I’m going to talk to Emma about this. I’m going to explain who you are, how important you are to me, how much I love you. And then I have to have faith that our daughter will be okay with it.”
Grace felt a shiver of anxiety. What if what Aidan wanted to do turned out to be a catastrophe, with Emma inconsolable and calling for her mother? “There has to be a better way. I mean we need to find a way to convince Emma that I’m not taking her mommy’s place and that she can feel safe.” Worried, she snuggled against Aidan, eliciting a sigh of pleasure from him.
“Wish you and I could stay like this, have nothing to think about or worry over for at least a few days.” He leaned closer, kissing her lips, awakening her need for him, for all they had missed while living separately.
“Wish we could, too…” She turned to Aidan, catching the look in his eyes, a look of devotion that swept through her heart. She sat up straight, suddenly alive with an idea. “What if we took Emma to Disney World for a vacation, even just a couple days? We could do it right after Lisa leaves so that Emma has something fun to do. It might make losing Lisa a little easier for her. That way she wouldn’t feel she was losing you when we talk casually about me coming home, and she sees how much fun the three of us can have as a family. If we do this right she will not feel left out or threatened by me being around.”
Every ounce of Aidan’s attention was focused on Grace, making her feel cherished and cared for. “You are a genius,” he said enthusiastically. “That would work out perfectly. I’ll book us into the Disney resort in Florida. We will have so much fun, the three of us.” He grabbed her, pulled her to her feet and walked with his arm around her shoulders as they approached the patio doors. “Holding you, having you here with me feels so good,” he murmured into her hair as he opened the door into the house.
Their entrance into the family room was met with a squeal of delight from Emma. “Daddy! Lisa and I need to show you something.” She took his hand, pulling him into the living room. “See!”
“See what?” he asked, searching the lawn.
“Right there.” Emma pointed toward the hibiscus bush near the corner of the flower bed in front of the window. The rabbit, his nose wiggling, was peering out from under the shrub. “I love him. Can he be my rabbit?” she asked, her face turned up to her father.
Love overflowed his heart. “Yes, he can be your rabbit.”
“I’ve already named him. His name is Sam,” she said, a look of mischief in her wide blue eyes.
“Sam. Sounds good to me. What do you think, Grace?” he asked as she came up behind them.
Grace was struck by the thought that at any other time in her marriage she would have reached out, put her arm around his waist and hugged him. But with Emma watching and her uncertainty about their relationship despite Aidan’s profession of love, she hung back.
Standing beside him, seeing him with his daughter, Grace was struck by how much they looked alike, each with curly auburn hair and wide smiles.
She glanced around the wide foyer, the long length of window forming one wall of the living room, the dining room beyond the living room, its table set as if waiting for the fun and laughter of a dinner party.
Aidan turned his smile on her, making her tummy tingle. “Are we sure this rabbit is a boy?” he asked.
“Not sure. But the name works. If needed we can change the name to Samantha, Sam for short,” she said, noting that Emma was suddenly showing a great deal of interest in her. “What do you think?” she asked, leaning down toward Emma.
“Just Sam.” Emma shook her fist for emphasis. “The rabbit is mine. He looks really, really hungry. I want to get more carrot and some lettuce and see if he will eat it from my hand,” she said, heading back down the hall toward the kitchen. They followed, glancing at each other.
As Grace moved toward the kitchen with Aidan, she had the sensation that she was coming home: home to a life of toys everywhere, Cheerios in the cereal cupboard and a little girl who was enthusiastic about everything.
“We’re the lucky ones, aren’t we?” she said, hugging Aidan close, her smile open, her heart humming. “We are in our home with our daughter.”
“Life doesn’t get much better than this, Mrs. Fellowes,” Aidan said. “We’ll get packed and take Emma away on our first family vacation to Disney World.”
He pulled her into his arms, kissed the breath from her lips. “Welcome home, my love.”
* * * * *
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ISBN-13: 9781488085703
Bringing Emma Home
Copyright © 2018 by Ruth MacLean
All rights reserved. By payment of the required fees, you have been granted the nonexclusive, nontransferable right to access and read the text of this ebook on-screen. No part of this text may be reproduced, transmitted, downloaded, decompiled, reverse engineered, or stored in or introduced into any information storage and retrieval system, in any form or by any means, whether electronic or mechanical, now known or hereafter invented, without the express written permission of the publisher, Harlequin Enterprises Limited, 22 Adelaide St. West, 40th Floor, Toronto, Ontario M5H 4E3, Canada.
This is a work of fiction. Names, characters, places and incidents are either the product of the author’s imagination or are used fictitiously, and any resemblance to actual persons, living or dead, business establishments, events or locales is entirely coincidental. This edition published by arrangement with Harlequin Books S.A.
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y Office and in other countries.
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Some loves can’t be denied
A lot has changed for musical prodigy Finn Farrell since he spent his summers practicing with his piano teacher—and falling for her socialite niece, Carly Maxwell. After blowing his audition for Julliard, Finn turned his back on performing, his romance with Carly collateral damage.
When their paths cross a decade later, it’s impossible to ignore how much they’ve grown apart. But what hasn’t changed is how comfortably they fit, or their heart-pounding attraction. Now a high-powered executive, Carly has a life a world away from songwriter Finn’s, but she has big dreams for both of them, if she can show Finn he’s worth it.
“Are you in your old room?” Finn asked.
“Uh-huh. Down the end of the hallway.”
“I know.”
Carly twisted her head to peer at him. “How d’you know?”
“I used to watch your lit window on summer nights.” He’d ridden his bike across town, from his family’s small home in a poor neighborhood to this heritage home on South Hill—which his mom called Snob Hill. Except that Irene was no snob and Carly…well, she’d never once made him feel lesser because of where he lived or who he was. But her father was an investment banker and Carly seemed to have inherited his drive to succeed in business. Finn had no problem with a good work ethic; he had one himself. But what had Irene said? Carly was pushing herself too hard, working all the time. What did she have to prove?
Carly’s face lit with a delighted grin. “You couldn’t have seen anything. I always drew the curtains.”
“Your silhouette was very sexy.”
“Liar. I was a beanpole.”
Not anymore, he thought. She was shapely in all the right places.
Dear Reader,
Writing this final letter to you is bittersweet—my first published romance novel was a Superromance and the line will always hold a special place in my heart.
Harlequin Superromance May 2018 Box Set Page 75