“Very good, Pam. I would like you to improvise one of the scenes. Charlotte will help you,” he said, presenting her to a woman of around fifty who looked like a hippy. “Charlotte is ill, about to die. You must console her, tell her that everything will be okay, that her son will be fine. I want to see emotion, nice and sincere words. Looks, silences…”
“Yes,” Pam agreed, looking at Matt’s pretty blue eyes, behind his plastic glasses.
“Take all the time you need, Pam.”
“I’m ready.” Pam smiled, and in doing so she conquered the hearts of all those present in the room, lighting it completely without the need of spotlights.
The improvisation was full of profound, improvised words, in which the intense pain of the situation shone through and Pam was even able to make the hippy cry with her. When she finished, those present applauded, and so did Marilyn. Pam’s audition was the best they had seen in the three days they had been testing several young and unknown actresses.
“That was incredible, Pam,” Matt the director admitted. “Do you have a monologue prepared? I want to see more of you.”
Richard had not mentioned this to her, but Pam, determined, continued to improvise and to her surprise, she was calm. The atmosphere of the audition was agreeable and that had helped her a lot from the moment she walked through the door. It had nothing to do with the fast and failed auditions for those few bad B-movies she had done.
Richard was a great agent and this was her first great opportunity.
A part of the text ‘That it is worth it’ appeared in her mind that she had read recently online, thanks to a post on Facebook and luckily, she remembered it because she had liked it a lot. It was perfect for this audition. So, closing her eyes and turning to enter a dramatic story, she began to speak, looking fixedly at the camera, tears in her eyes and a pretty smile on her lips. She spoke slowly, savoring each word, without haste, making everyone fall in love and spellbinding those present in the room.
“I hope they say goodbye to you. And that you say it too, loving and without loving.
I hope you are wrong as many times as you can be. That you can ask to be forgiven just as many.
That you are forgiven. That you always return home, a lesson learned and with the peace of knowing that pride destroys more than it creates and pushes apart more than it brings together. That you get close. That it is worth it.
I hope they break your heart. Into tiny pieces, so tiny they don’t even seem to be pieces. So small they are mixed in with dust.
I hope you bend over. That you pick them up, that you carry them again in places you never imagined existed inside you. I hope you shake off your cobwebs and have them where they ned to be to do what we all need to sooner or later, to trust.
I hope you live.
That you survive.
And that it is worth it.”
Matt was enthralled with Pam. So was everyone else. Marilyn looked emotional, thinking she radiated light, reflected vitality and passion. The camera loved her and so did everyone and everything that looked at her.
“Pam, you were incredible,” said Matt, standing up from his chair and shaking her hand.
“Well, thank you very much,” Pam answered, a little embarrassed.
“We will let Richard know very soon.”
Matt nodded complacently and Pam left in the company of her ghost with a permanent smile on her face. As she came out of Actor’s Studio Pam still fearing she would have the bad luck to run into Brad, Richard called.
“Pam! What did you do? They fell in love with you. Congratulations!”
“Really? I just left… that’s…”
“That’s great, Pam,” he said, bluntly and happily. “hope to have some news in the next few days, but I have a good feeling.”
“Let’s hope so Richard! Thank you very much.”
“Thank you, darling. Actually, in a bit I’ll send you an email for an audition for a teenage series for Thursday. There’s a lot of text to learn, but you have time.”
“That’s great, thank you, Richard.”
Marilyn looked at her expectantly, hoping Pam would tell her something. Seeing that she was not saying anything and was looking lost staring at her phone, she could not contain herself and asked to know what was going.
“What? What did he say?”
“It was Richard. He said they loved me,” Pam answered to her curious and excited ghost.
“That’s great! Richard,” Marilyn sighed. “Samantha was nowhere near as good as him. You were so lucky, Pam!”
“It was all thanks to you. If you haven’t appeared, I my life would have been as disastrous as ever,” Pam admitted, looking fixedly at her ghost, who, emotional, shook her head, taking away from the importance of the emotional moment. “Actually, I should call Robert and tell him I have another agent and don’t need him anymore…”
“Yes, it’s fundamental to stay on everyone’s good side, Pam. You never know which door is going to close or which windows could open.”
“You have become very philosophical, Marilyn,” said Pam, dialing the phone number of her old and grim agent.
Robert did not take Pam’s goodbye very well, but even so he wished her luck in her career. As Pam and Marilyn crossed the street and walked away from the place that had united them a few weeks ago, a young woman of around twenty with an enviable red mane and charming green eyes stopped them.
“What does she want,” Marilyn asked. She reminds me of Maureen O’Hara, she was very stuck up.”
“Shh,” Pam said. “Who are you?”
“My name is Kate. I want to thank you for what you did to Brad. So many of us would have liked to have done the same thing!” she laughed. Her laugh would have been charming if it were not for the piggy sounds.
“You’re welcome. It was my friend’s idea,” Pam answered, glancing at Marilyn, How is Brad?”
“He hasn’t left home since then,” she said, laughing even more, making Pam nervous. “But he deserved it. I just wanted to say thank you.”
As if she were a crazy fan, she hugged Pam and turned back to her friends with a full grin on her pretty face. Pam shrugged her shoulders and continued walking with her inseparable friend Marilyn.
When they got home, Pam put her hands to her head.
“Seriously! Patty’s character is the one with the most dialogue! I’m not going to manage, I’m not going to manage.”
“Of course you will! You have me, I’m going to practice with you,” Marilyn encouraged her.
“You will?”
Pam couldn’t believe what she was living. Marilyn herself would be her coach, her companion, the person that would read lines with her in every scene she had to study for her audition for the adolescent show on Thursday. It was the dream of every actress, to be face-to-face with the blonde, the most beautiful woman of all cinematographic history, the most admired and idolized. She feared the day her cast would be taken off and she would stop taking the medicine to calm her pain, as she still thought the pills were making her hallucinate and see Marilyn. She feared one day she would wake up and that her beautiful ghost with voluptuous curves and red lips would no longer be sat on the sofa waiting for her and encouraging her to try her luck, to become the star that she had always wanted to be.
“What on earth is this?” Marilyn asked, looking with stupefaction at the script she had in front of her. “What language are they speaking? Do they have a screw loose? This is the worst script I’ve read in my whole life,” Marilyn was scandalized and very, very insulted.
“Marilyn, it’s a teenage series. They all like this, the dialogue is a little stupid, remember you are Kimberley.”
“And you are Patty. What awful names! I don’t know where to start. Demand to meet the scriptwriter and give him an elegant slap from me.”
“I can’t do that, Marilyn,” laughed Pam.” Come, start at the beginning.”
Marilyn sighed. She got angry again. She rebuffed once, twice, three times more
, and then finally, resigned, began reading the lines of the script.
“Patty, what are you up to this weekend? Man, I have something sick in mind. The party is gonna be ace, and Kevin is coming, man.”
“What are you saying Kimberly? I mean, Kevin is coming? That’s awesome! Man, tell Jess, she’s gonna freak!”
“Seriously, I… I can’t…” Marilyn laughed.
“Marilyn!”
“Don’t do this audition. If you want to be star, by God don’t do this one.”
“Really?”
“Call Richard, I’m sure he’ll understand,” Marilyn answered, throwing the script to the floor.
Pam sighed and dialed her new agent’s number, terrified he would tell her to get lost.
“Richard, hi!”
“How is my star?” Pam supposed this was something he said often.
“I’m looking at the script for the series and…”
“A-huh.”
“I’m not going to do the audition. The text is…”
“Awful, I know. And I’m glad you told me you’re not going to do the audition because I was testing you,” Richard said immediately, shocking Pam and intriguing Marilyn.
“What do you mean?”
“Matt’s film is a great job. A serious job that in addition to giving you popularity and fame, will also give you the respect and admiration every star desires in Hollywood. The series won’t. That’s only for second-rate actresses that are looking for fast, easy and ephemeral fame. You are serious Pam. You know what you want. I like that. I’ll keep you updated on today’s audition. Thank you, really. I already fired one of my actresses today for loving the idea of that damn series.” Richard laughed over the telephone line.
“I don’t know what to tell you.”
“I’ll see you soon, artist. Kisses!”
Pam smiled to herself. She hung up the phone, opened her eyes wide and covered her mouth.
“What did he say?”
“He gave me a kiss…” Pam stuttered.
“So what? That’s how people say goodbye over the phone. What did he say?” Marilyn insisted.
“That he was testing me to see what type of career I wanted to have. And he is happy I rejected the audition.”
“You see? I was right!” Marilyn exclaimed happily.
Joyfully, they threw the teenage series’ script in the trash and got ready to enjoy a nice classic movie marathon as usual. They were starting with one of Marilyn’s favorites, The Misfits. It was special to her because it was the last film she starred in, just as did the unforgettable Clark Gable, who the diva remembered fondly. When How to Marry a Millionaire, filmed in 1953, began playing, Pam fell asleep. Marilyn, as ever, covered her with a blanket and wished the aspiring actress sweet dreams.
The days went by, Pam began to despair as she did not get any news about the film audition of young director Matt Perry. She wanted more. She dreamt of more auditions and possible projects, to have found jobs and to have guaranteed success. She yearned to work with great artists, with experienced professionals on luxurious and well-organized sets. The only filming she had ever done has been shoddy and disorganized, at the homes of the cinema students who told their parents to stay quiet to not cause any sound problems.
“Don’t worry, Pam, more chances will come, trust Richard. Sometimes no news is good news. Remember that…”
“No, Marilyn. Not today, don’t give me one of your lectures. I’m not in the mood,” Pam answered, pouring herself a cup of freshly made coffee. “I’m going to call Richard.”
“No! Wait for him to call you. I have a good feeling.”
“Just as with Samantha?”
“I was wrong once,” Marilyn retorted, twisting her pouted mouth.
“I’m sorry, it’s just so despairing. I’m sure this never happened to you. Everyone dreamed of being with you, all the directors wanted you.”
Marilyn laughed.
“Honey, I started like they all do. I had to start with small roles in different films. I shot scenes that were cut, and I promise you I was the second choice for many productions, because other actresses didn’t want the role I finally played. In fact, many directors couldn’t stand me. You have to be patient, Pam. Think that your chance will come.”
“If it hasn’t come in these past two years,” said Pam, forlorn.
“But now I’m here. And you have Richard and not the other useless guy who represented you. I’m not going to abandon you, Pam.”
“Really? When I stop taking these pills….” Pam whispered, showing her ghost the medication. “Won’t you disappear?”
“You still think I’m a hallucination caused by some medication?” Pam nodded. “No, no, honey, I’m not a hallucination, I’m a ghost. I’m a real ghost. When I died, my soul left my body and it’s here. With you! I’m going to confess that I feel more alive than ever.”
“Is that what happens when you die?”
Marilyn nodded.
“But I hope you don’t prove that for many, many, many years!” Marilyn responded happily. “You don’t know how depressing it is at first, especially when you die during the flower of life.”
There are many conspiracy theories that continue to surround the death of Marilyn Monroe. Murder, suicide, accidental overdose? Did the Kennedys have anything to do with it? Pam did not want to admit at that moment that she had done some research on the theme due to the adoration she had always had for the actress. The last she had read was that the diva’s death happened on the order of Robert Kennedy, Brother of then North American President John F. Kennedy, who the actress was having a well-known affaire with. Robert, with the help of his brother-in-law, the actor Peter Lawford, ordered Marilyn’s psychiatrist to give her a lethal injection after organizing the plan to make people believe it was suicide.
“I know what you’re thinking,” Marilyn said surprising her. “What happened on that warm day of August 5, 1962?” Pam shrugged her shoulders. “It doesn’t matter any more, Pam. My life is sad and lonely, it always was and I don’t want anyone to feel pity for it.”
“But then…”
“No, Pam. I was wrong. Well, my heart was well,” the ghost said bitterly.
Pam supposed she meant her relationship with Kennedy. She had given her heart, something rather dangerous when so many secrets are hidden behind ambition and power. She decided not to talk about it any more as her friend did not want to get her secrets off her chest, something quite improbable as she seemed to have one single obsession: turning Pam into a star. She did so uninterestedly, without asking for anything in exchange. Why? Perhaps it was about something unfinished? When she finished her mission, would she be able to reach eternal peace?
“Don’t make the same mistake, Pam,” Marilyn warned her. “Fall in love with someone good, discreet, who knows how to see the diamond that you are. If not, don’t give your heart over… Ever.”
“Thank you Marilyn,” Pam said, flattered.
“I could also help you in that area,” Marilyn objected, chirpy.
“No, no thank you! I’ve had enough with Brad.”
“Please! Forget about Brad. You deserve someone much better. Richard, for example…”
“He’s my agent! And he’s much older than me!”
“Older? I thought that nowadays being thirty-something was being in the prime of your life. In my time, well, it was different. But now? Women have children in their forties. It’s incredible.”
“I don’t want to talk about it.”
The phone rang. It was an unknown number.
“Hello?” Pam answered, intrigued.
“Pam! It’s Matt, Matt Perry, the director of the film Toward the Light. What are you doing tonight?”
“Errr…” Pam answered, looking at Marilyn in confusion.
“Let me take you out. I want to talk to you about my film.”
A Dinner? With the film director? Without a doubt, Pam’s audition had been a success and Matt wanting to have dinner with
her was a good sign. Pam tried to stay calm and agreed as naturally and calmly and she could.
Two minutes later, Matt had agreed to pick Pam up at her house and take her to eat at Romanov, a restaurant in Beverly Hills and curiously Marilyn’s favorite as in the fifties it was where the crème de la crème met.
“You’re going to the Romanov? I’m so jealous! I wish I could try the chocolate soufflés again. They drove me crazy!” Marilyn exclaimed.
“But, its strange, no?”
“Him to take you out? Not at all, it was what was done in my day. From what I see this director is a gentleman, just like in my time. The directors took their muses out to dinner and…” Marilyn paused. Her face changed. “Be careful Pam. His intentions might not be honorable. I’ll go with you.”
“No, no, I’ll go alone. I know what I’m doing.”
“Call Richard”
“Why?” asked Pam.
“I think it would be best.”
But this time Pam did not listen to the diva. Marilyn, worried by the young woman’s naivety, decided to follow the luxurious car that Matt came to pick her up in at seven in the evening. She stayed quiet, in the corner of the Russian Romanov restaurant were so many good moments had happened in her life. The luxurious atmosphere where the color red stood out and its grand stage had not changed, but the stars that Marilyn knew were no longer those sat at the tables. A certain nostalgia filled the ghost’s soul, who didn’t lose sight of Pam and her elegant companion for a single moment.
“Pam, I’m so glad you accepted my invitation. I want to talk to you about the film and what your great opportunity will be in it. You impressed me with your addition and that’s not easy to do,” Matt said with this amenity that characterized him, pushing back his plastic glasses.
“Thank you very much. And thank you for your invitation. It’s true that when I didn’t get any news about the film I thought the role would not be mine.”
“Well you still have one test pass, Pam,” Matt said mysteriously. Pam didn’t like his look. Bold and daring, she cursed the moment she refused to listen to Marilyn. She was afraid Matt had the intentions of those that think they have the power to do absolutely everything.
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