Marilyn's Ghost

by Lorena Franco

  “How are you Pam?” Robert asked, raising his glass.

  Pam glanced at him. Robert had not deigned speak to her for the whole photo shoot and now he wanted to start a conversation.

  “Nothing much, Robert.”

  “You did a great job. I have to admit, I was bothered at first to work with people without experience, but you’re great, Pam Miller.”

  “Well, we all start out sometime, no?” Pam protested, annoyed. “But thanks, for the compliment,” she continued shyly.

  “What projects will you be working on now?”

  Pam shrugged her shoulders and looked to the starry sky. Richard had told her he needed to talk to her, so she supposed something new would come.

  “Several are floating around, but nothing is sealed yet,” Pam responded, smiling.

  Robert approached Pam. Too much. The young actress felt her space was invaded, while Richard watched the scene from the inside of the club. Seeing Robert approach Pam, the agent decided to leave and go home, feeling insulted and angry with the world, without saying goodbye to anyone.

  “You have an eyelash on your cheek. Make a wish,” Robert suggested amused, taking Pam’s eyelash with care.

  Pam made her wish and blew the eyelash from Robert’s finger.

  “Let’s hope it comes true,” Robert wished, winking and going to the dance floor ready to shake.

  “What a strange guy,” Pam whispered, taking a sip of her rum and coke.

  When she got back in the club, Pam noticed that Richard was no longer there.

  “Isabella, do you know where Richard is?”

  “He left, looking annoyed. Enjoy the night Pam!” the director answered, a little tipsy after the alcohol.

  But what Pam really wanted was to go home, talk to Marilyn for a while and go to sleep until her body could sleep no more.

  When she got home, she saw the light on in the living room of her agent’s house. Without overthinking, she went over and rang the doorbell. Hearing high heels approach the front door, she highly doubted it was Richard. The expression on Pam’s face changed when she saw the perfectly-proportioned model open the door to her agent’s house, looking superior.

  “Yes?” she asked, looking at Pam, annoyed. It was as if the young woman had interrupted something important.

  “Sorry, is Richard here?”

  “Richard! There’s a girl asking for you!” the model shouted, wearing a tight fitting red dress and perched on black high heels. Pam looked at her, bothered. Girl? Had she said girl? Marilyn would have given her a beating.

  “Hi Pam,” Richard greeted her uncomfortably, looking at the model who refused to leave them alone.

  “Well, I just came to…” Pam looked ta the floor. She doubted for a second. She looked at the beautiful model and then at Richard. “You said you had to talk to me no? About projects and stuff…”

  “Yes, of course. Rest and I’ll come by your house tomorrow at 11, I’ll tell you all about it then.”

  “Okay.”

  “Is that all, sweetheart?” the model asked.

  “Yes, of course. Enjoy yourselves.”

  Without waiting for Richard to wish her a good night, Pam walked quickly over to her house, head down and not looking back. If she had turned around, she would have seen the model go back to the sofa and Richard unable to take his eyes off Pam, making sure, as always, that his actress got home safe and sound, even though it was only on the opposite sidewalk.

  Exhausted and her head messed up by the situation she had just been in, Pam entered the house and seeing Marilyn on the sofa crying, she ran up to her quickly.

  “Marilyn, what’s wrong?”

  “Your grandpa…” The ghost could hardly speak. She was completely distraught.

  “He’s gone?” Pam asked sadly. Marilyn nodded.

  “He came to see me. So young and handsome like when I knew him. It was so lovely, Pam…”

  “My grandpa…” Pam whispered. “Where is he?”

  “He crossed over to the light, Pam.”

  “But, when?”

  “Not long ago, while he was sleeping in his house. I’m sure your parents don’t even know yet. He had a soft death, Pam. He didn’t suffer, but, when he headed toward the light, he looked at me with those beautiful blue eyes and… and…” it was the first time Pam saw Marilyn stutter. “And he told me he saw his wife, that he was leaving with her.”

  “Why are you like this? Marilyn, my grandmother spent her life with him for many years. She gave him three children, he loved her a lot, you understand?”

  “And what about my story?” Marilyn asked, disconcerted.

  “Your story was a wonderful memory that he kept in the intimacy of his memory until the end. They say you love your first love more but the following ones better. Did you know that saying?” Marilyn’s ghost shook her head. She smiled, looked at the floor and glanced at Pam sideways.

  “You’re not crying, Pam.”

  Pam smiled at Marilyn. If she could have, on this occasion she also would have hugged her. And despite her youth and inexperience, it would have been her telling her maternally that everything would be okay.

  “I will cry, Marilyn. Of course I will. But when I said goodbye I knew it was forever and I made my peace with that. And I’m happy you got to see each other again. You know? I think he was happy to tell me his story. Your story. If you think about it, Marilyn, it’s magical. And lovely,” Pam explained slowly.

  “You’ve changed so much in such a short space of time, dear,” Marilyn answered, still crying.

  “I’m going to call my parents,” Pam sighed, bitterly.

  Pam called her parents. It was Norma who picked up, half asleep. Pam simply said she had a bad feeling and that she should immediately go see her grandpa. Forty minutes later, it was Pam’s father who called, very upset after having seen old Jim had died in his bed in his sleep.

  “How did you know, Pam?” Greg asked, shocked.

  Pam did not answer and just told her father she was very sorry and that he should look after her mother who was no doubt the one most impacted by old Jim’s death.

  “We’ll have to go to the funeral,” Pam lamented, sitting next to her ghost.

  “I hate funerals. They’re so depressing… also most dead people are masochists and enjoy their own funeral. They want to know who goes and they love listening to the nice things said about them.”

  “No one would dare speak badly of a dead person, would they?” said Pam.

  “Falsity. That’s called falsity. Half the world critiques the other half, but when you’re dead, you become the most extraordinary person that no one thought you were while you were alive.”

  “Did you go to your funeral, Marilyn?”

  “For a bit…” Marilyn admitted, shrugging her shoulders, still thinking about the moment Jim’s ghost had appeared to her.

  A FEW HOURS BEFORE…

  Marilyn was absorbed in a Will Smith movie as usual, while she waited for Pam to get back from the club. She was calm and sat on the sofa, not missing a single detail of the movie. Suddenly, an unexpected cold that Marilyn’s spirit could feel invaded the living room. And Jim appeared, just as she had known him in 1940, no wrinkles, no grays, no creased blue eyes… He was young and strong once again. He looked at Marilyn from a distance and the two ghosts went up to one another. Marilyn stroked the face of Jim’s ghost and smiled sadly. Jim did the same.

  “I wanted to see you so much, Norma.”

  “Jim, what happened?” Marilyn asked, shocked.

  “It didn’t even hurt. I died as I always wanted to, in my sleep. I feel good, I’m in peace. But I couldn’t leave without saying goodbye. My granddaughter gave me one of the greatest joys of the last few years of my life when she spoke about you, reminded me of our story…”

  “Thank you. I’m sorry I didn’t go with you, I’m sorry I didn’t share my life with you Jim. Believe me, I never stopped thinking about you and I’ve always regretted it.”
/>   “Life, Norma. Destiny. Great things awaited you. You weren’t destined to have a normal life, you couldn’t be like the rest of us.”

  “But, I wish I could have been, Jim. You were the only man I truly loved, and who I felt truly loved by. No lies, no…”

  “It’s done now, Norma, it’s done,” Jim interrupted, still smiling. “Look after my Pam. Don’t let her go down the wrong path and make sure she is very happy, that she has a special life.

  “No dramas,” Marilyn laughed.

  “No dramas,” Jim agreed.

  “There will no longer be anyone who remembers me for who I really was” Marilyn said sadly, staring at Jim.

  “Yes, yes there will be. And for many years, Norma. My Pam. My Pam will remember you her whole life for who you really are.”

  Marilyn’s soul cried emotionally. Jim looked behind him. Bewitched, he could see for the first time a shining and beautiful light that belonged to her. Only he could see her and feel her immensity and peace.

  “What’s wrong?” Marilyn asked.

  “They’re waiting for me… I can see a light. My wife… my wife is waiting for me,” Jim answered, happily.

  “Go with her.”

  “I’ll be waiting up there with a fresh lemonade, Norma.”

  “Make it a Dom Perignon instead,” Marilyn answered cheekily, winking.

  “Done, and it was a pleasure to have met you.”

  “Done, and it was a pleasure to have met you,” Marilyn repeated while she watched Jim disappear.

  Pam sent Richard a WhatsApp, explaining that her grandfather had passed away and that she needed to go back to Gettysburg to go to the funeral. She looked through the window at her agent’s house. The light of the living room was no longer turned on, but the one of the bedroom was and she could see two shadows, combined into one single being. Annoyed, Pam turned on the computer and bought a return plane ticket for Pennsylvania for the following afternoon. Thoughts swirling around her head, she went to sleep. That night Marilyn did not stay on the sofa as usual, but decided to lay next to Pam, as if she could protect and help her in her dreams too.

  CHAPTER 13

  HOLLYWOOD IS A PLACE IN

  WHICH YOU WILL HAVE TO PAY A

  THOUSAND DOLLARS FOR A KISS AND

  FIFTY CENTS FOR YOUR SOUL

  (Marilyn Monroe)

  The church Cristo Rey of Gettysburg was bursting. The whole town wanted to say goodbye to old Jim Harris, who had left this world whilst he slept, to be reunited with his wife. Marilyn, grieving, did not leave the young Pam for a single second. Pam finally cried… a lot. She remembered that her grandfather was the only person that had believed in her and supported her in her crazy and unpredictable Hollywood adventure. People looked at Pam curiously and in turn, she realized many daren’t approach her. What had changed?

  After a hard day, Marilyn and Pam locked themselves in the bedroom after dinner.

  “The worst of all,” Marilyn lamented that night, “is that no one remembered Jim for his story with me. Everyone was talking about his wife, how happy they will be together in heaven, or wherever.”

  “Marilyn, isn’t that what you wanted? To keep your story hidden so it was something that belonged only to the two of you?”

  “Yes, but it still hurts. Maybe someday you’ll understand.”

  “I didn’t tell you that I went to Richard’s house, the other night when my grandfather died.”

  “Why?”

  “Because he left the club without saying goodbye. I saw the light on and decided to go over. A model opened the door and, well…. I imagine he’s dating her, or sleeping with her or something.”

  “Pam, I used to say often that a woman knows through intuition or instinct what is best for her. Do you know?”

  “I think the best would be for me to forget about Richard. He’s my agent and on top of being unprofessional, it would be… I don’t know, weird.”

  “It might make you uncomfortable. We’re not talking about Brad, Pam. We’re talking about someone much more important that that lunatic,” Marilyn reminded her.

  “That lunatic was an illusion,” Pam laughed.

  “And Richard is an illusion… or is he something more?” Pam shrugged her shoulders. “I see how he looks at you and I can assure you he doesn’t do it like you were a sister or a simple actress he represents. There is something more, Pam. But you’re the one that decides.”

  “I think it would be best for me to turn the page. To see him as my agent and my friend, and nothing more.”

  “Then that’s how it will be,” Marilyn accepted, “But I still think that…”

  “No, Marilyn, no,” Pam interrupted her briskly.

  “Let me say it or I’ll burst. What a man!” the ghost sighed.

  Norma knocked twice on her daughter’s bedroom door. Hollow-eyes and still teary, she peeped her head around the door to wish Pam goodnight.

  “Pam, are you okay? Who were you talking to?” she asked, frowning.

  “No one,” Pam said, glancing at Marilyn. “Come in mom, sit down.”

  “It’s been a hard day. Tomorrow we’ll take you to the airport. What time is your flight?”

  “Two in the afternoon.”

  “Very good…” Norma whispered, her gaze lost in the green carpet on the floor.

  “Do you know why grandpa called you Norma?” Pam asked happily, watched carefully by Marilyn.

  “No…”

  “Because of Marilyn Monroe. Her real name was Norma.”

  “I thought your granddad was more of an Audrey Hepburn fan, like you.”

  “What?” Marilyn asked, scandalized, looking for explanations in Pam’s confused face.

  “No, no, grandpa always liked Marilyn. Or better said, Norma Jean Baker,” Pam continued, winking at her ghost who seemed okay with her answer.

  “Okay then. I’ll miss him, Pam,” Norma confessed. But that’s life. No one stays.”

  “Tell me about it,” Marilyn said, resigned.

  “Rest mom. Tomorrow is another day.”

  “Do you have any more films to do? Maybe you could spend some time in Gettysburg…”

  “No way,” Marilyn point blank refused.

  “When I go back I have to meet with my agent. Something will come up and in six months the film Toward the Light will be screened. I’m so nervous! Tick tock, tick tock.”

  “Always so funny, Pam,” Norma said, laughing and stroking her daughter’s blonde hair. “Never change, okay?”

  “I promise. Good night mom.

  “Good night my love.”

  Pam cried all night, until she had no tears left. Marilyn, watching her in the shadows, agreed. She knew how much the death of her grandpa had hurt Pam and how ‘tough’ she had been up to that point when alone, she could let go of her profound grief.

  When she got back to Los Angeles, the first thing Pam did was to call Richard, who after a long day at the office went to his actress’ house as night fell. They sat on the porch in the backyard, in front of the pool and Pam offered him a lemonade in memory of her grandpa, which Richard enthusiastically accepted.

  “He was a great man,” Pam recalled, sipping her lemonade.

  Marilyn watched them, sat under the willow tree. She thought about the day she too would see the light and be reunited with Jim. She hoped she would not have to give too many explanations to her husbands or to some of her numerous lovers. She shuddered just thinking about it. There were so many people up there who were waiting for her.

  “I’m really sorry, Pam,” Richard told her.

  “Thanks. Tell me, what do we have?” Pam answered, not showing a hint of sadness at the death of her grandfather, to appear completely professional to Richard.

  “It seems like a lie, Pam. Two shoots and you’re already an expert! You’re taking a like to it,” said Richard, amused. “We have a couple of things lined up, Pam.”

  “Auditions?”

  “Forget auditions. You don’t work like th
at anymore. People are talking about you, are interested in you. Auditions are for unknown actors and you, for the industry, are a promising star with a bright future. They can’t let you go. That’s what I’ve been telling them, trust me. Everyone wants you in their films, even though they are only small parts for the moment. We have four movies being filmed over the next two months. A total of fifteen days filming and $100,000 in your bank account.”

  “£100,000 for fifteen days work? Pam asked, scandalized.

  “I already said you could afford the rent on this house. The shoot with Karl, Story of Two Souls has been moved up to November. They’ve found some generous financing and although they’re still working on Toward the Light which finishes in three weeks, they already have someone working on the production of the new movie.”

  “That’s only three months away.”

  “Exactly. So the rehearsals will probably start in around two months, just around the time you finish shooting the other movies. Everything fits together perfectly, I’ve taken care of that myself,” Richard told her, still looking at his agenda.

  “And those four films, how are they?” Pam asked, wanting to know while she looked distractedly at Marilyn who was trying to wet her foot in the pool, without success.

  “Is something wring with your pool?” Richard asked.

  “No, why?”

  “Because the water is moving…”

  “It must be the wind,” Pam lied.

  “What wind? Not even the leaves on the trees are moving, yet the water… Never mind, it doesn’t matter. What were we saying? Three romantic comedies and one horror movie. Cameron Diaz, Kate Winslet, Julia Roberts, Adam Sandler, Owen Wilson, Rachel McAdams, Channing Tatum… just some of the famous names that are confirmed for the leading parts. One of the comedies is a real choral, there will be many famous people in it. It will be a success. Actually, they all will.”

  Pam almost fainted when she found out who her future co-stars would be. It seemed incredible and she still could not believe it was happening to her. To her! It was crazy, her life had become an absolute but fascinating insanity in which anything, as impossible as it seemed, could happen.