by L. A. Witt
After work, before I went to meet Elliott, I ducked into the grocery store to get us something to eat. This place had an awesome deli, so I picked up some of the rotisserie chicken he liked, along with a couple of bowls of what we’d both agreed was the best potato salad on the planet. Maybe not the healthiest meal ever, but I figured we’d work it off tomorrow night.
The thought made me grin as I headed for the register. Yeah, this was a nice switch. Looking forward to sex without wondering what I might do to make him withhold it for another night? Knowing we’d both be smiling and exhausted by the time we were done? Fuck yes, I could get used to this.
On my way out to the car, I texted Elliott to let him know I was on my way.
As I pocketed my phone, though, a voice stopped me in my tracks.
“Fancy meeting you here.”
The bag and phone almost slipped out of my hands. I halted, closing my eyes and mouthing a curse as my good mood vanished. When there were no footsteps to signal that my ex-boyfriend was walking away, I gritted my teeth and turned to face him. “What do you want?”
“What makes you think I want anything?” Jesse came closer. “I just happened to be here, and—”
“Just like you happened to be at the grocery store yesterday, and at PetSmart the day before that even though you don’t have any pets.”
He gave a who me? look. “Free country, Samir. I can go wherever I want.”
“Yeah, except Wilde’s. But that didn’t stop you the other night, did it?” I…hadn’t told Elliott about that. Or about the other sightings. He’d worry more than he already did.
Showing his palms, Jesse said, “Hey, I didn’t set foot in the club. I was on the sidewalk.”
“Uh-huh. Coincidentally right next to where I’d parked.” Before he could play innocent any further, I growled, “Would you just leave me alone? Please?”
And then I wished the innocent act had stayed. Few things unnerved me like the way Jesse could shift from perfectly sweet to cold and angry. I didn’t think he’d take a swing at me—he’d never touched me in public—but old fears died hard.
Jesse huffed out an impatient breath. “Look, I can forgive everything you—”
“Forgive me?” I spat. Then I threw up my hands, nearly tossing the bag of food again. “God. Fuck you, Jesse.” I turned to go, but he grabbed my arm. Roughly. The way he always did when things were about to go south.
“Samir, stop being an asshole about this,” he said through his teeth.
I wrenched my arm free and faced him again. “I’m just trying to move on with my life. Without you.”
“Oh yeah.” He laughed bitterly. “So I’ve seen. You still want me to believe you and he didn’t start banging until after—”
“Honestly? I couldn’t give a fuck what you think. If you want to believe I’ve been banging him since day one? Knock yourself out. Blame me for everything. I really, really don’t care as long as you go away.”
His lips thinned into that familiar dangerous line. “You know, ever since you started screwing that jackass bouncer, you—”
“Blame him all you want.” I rolled my eyes and continued toward my car. “You fucked up, Jesse. Not me. Not Elliott.” I glanced over my shoulder as I pulled open the car door. “Give it up and move on.”
Without waiting for a response, I got in, but he still shouted after me, “Your bouncer boyfriend can’t protect you 24/7! He can’t—”
I slammed the car door, cutting off my ex’s voice. Maybe Elliott couldn’t protect me 24/7. I did feel a hell of a lot safer when I was with him, though, and suddenly I couldn’t get to him fast enough.
As I pulled out of the parking lot, I refused to look in the rearview. I didn’t want to see Jesse. Not even a glimpse. I’d seen enough of him for one lifetime.
Gripping the wheel in both hands, I ground my teeth. Was I too dependent on Elliott? I could function on my own, and I could cope with being away from him, but I was definitely more relaxed when he was around. Was that a bad thing? It was good that I had someone who made me feel safe, but what about the fact that I didn’t feel safe alone?
The more I thought about it, the more I realized it wasn’t just that I felt safe because Elliott could kick Jesse’s ass. Being with Elliott made me feel safe. Period. Not from Jesse. Not from any threat in particular. Just safe. Like I could breathe around him. Be me. Maybe say something stupid and not be afraid of the response. Maybe say nothing at all. There was no pressure with Elliott. Not to be perfect. Not to be mindful of moods. Not to be ready to either put out on a moment’s notice or work my ass off just to get some morsel of affection.
And it didn’t seem like he was even trying. It wasn’t like he was falling all over himself to cater to my every whim and make sure I was perfectly happy at every single moment. I was pretty sure that would have irritated me after about five minutes anyway. No, he was just him. Just there. Just a steady, solid presence who apparently liked me. No fanfare or quid pro quo.
It reminded me a little of how he’d been the night I’d had him at the house so I could kick Jesse out. He’d stayed back and let me stand on my own two feet. He was there to offer any help I needed. He’d been a silent, rock solid wall when the moment called for it, and a warm, gentle shoulder when I’d needed it. He was just a nice guy whose default setting was not being a colossal dick.
Easing my grip on the wheel, I slowly released a breath. No, this wasn’t an unhealthy dependence. I could stand on my own, but I wanted to be with him because I liked him and I liked the way I felt when I was with him.
And right now, I couldn’t get to him fast enough.
~*~
There was a park half a block from Wilde’s, and it was where we’d decided to meet—weather permitting—until people started being less stupid at the club.
I parked but sat in the car for a minute and took a few deep breaths. Over the last year, I’d gotten damn good at hiding how much Jesse rattled me. It was a necessity, especially as things had gotten worse—I didn’t want people to know my own boyfriend was doing that shit. Particularly not people who’d known about Ollie. Letting a guy treat me like crap was humiliating enough. Letting a second one do it? That wasn’t something I needed to broadcast.
And damn it, I had a new man now. One who didn’t walk all over me. Was it really too much to ask for my past to stay in my past? At least Ollie didn’t come around anymore. Couldn’t Jesse follow suit? And couldn’t I just ignore the fact that we’d crossed paths today? I wanted to enjoy my evening with Elliott, for God’s sake. And I didn’t want Elliott to know Jesse was still showing up. I rationalized that twelve ways from Sunday, but deep down, I couldn’t deny the truth—I was afraid if Elliott found out Jesse was still around, he’d leave. Elliott would leave, and Jesse wouldn’t, and…
I closed my eyes and focused on breathing slowly. At least for now, Jesse was gone. He’d said his piece, I’d driven away, and now it was time to be with Elliott. Jesse had tainted enough of my life. He wasn’t ruining tonight, damn it.
Nerves still on edge, I collected our dinner and walked across the park to an unoccupied picnic table. The sun was going down, but the night was still warm and would be for a while. A relaxing dinner on a warm evening with the hottest man in town? Oh yes, this could get my mind off everything else. I even managed to smile just thinking about it, though it took some work.
By the time Elliott texted to let me know he was heading my way, I’d hopefully erased any traces of my encounter from my expression just like I had the last several times. He didn’t need to know. Besides, if he found out now, he’d probably be pissed at me for not calling the cops or not telling him or whatever the fuck else I was supposed to do.
I exhaled. No. Elliott wasn’t like that. He understood that Jesse was a dick. I just didn’t want him to worry, and if he knew I still couldn’t go two days without “running into” my ex, he’d freak.
And goddammit, I hated that Jesse wouldn’t come near me when I was wi
th Elliott. I’d actually seen him out of the corner of my eye on our way into a restaurant the other night, but he’d quickly gone the other way. That message came through loud and clear—he was happy to harass me, but he knew better than to cross Elliott.
“Your bouncer boyfriend can’t protect you 24/7!”
That was the thing—I didn’t want Elliott protecting me. I was with him because I wanted to be, not because he was like a human brick wall that Jesse couldn’t get through if he tried. Yeah, the muscle was nice, and I really did feel safer with Elliott, but that wasn’t why I was here. I didn’t want him to feel obligated to protect me—I wanted him here because he wanted to be with me.
My stomach soured. So much for my appetite. I felt much safer with Elliott than without. Ditto when I was out with Shouka, since Jesse was afraid of her. But holy hell, I resented fact that I felt unsafe when I was alone. I didn’t need a fucking babysitter or a chaperone or a big dog just to get through my own life without—
“Hey.”
One word, and I jumped out of my skin. I turned to see Elliott, dressed in that tuxedo shirt and cummerbund everyone at Wilde’s wore, and I grinned. “Hey you.”
“Hey yourself.” He sat beside me and put a hand on my leg. “You okay? You’re jumpy.”
“I’m good.” I shook my head. “Just, um…” Thinking about the man who won’t accept he’s my ex. “I’m all right.” Gesturing at the bags, I added, “They had that rotisserie chicken you like, so I brought some.”
Elliott smiled, though he still seemed a little uneasy. “Awesome. I’m starving.”
I busied myself getting out the food and plastic utensils. Elliott popped the tab on a Coke, and he watched me silently for a moment. Even as we started eating, neither of us said anything.
Finally, though, he broke the silence. “Are you sure you’re okay tonight? You seem tense.”
I stared down at the piece of chicken I’d been picking at. How the hell was I supposed to explain this to him? I didn’t want him freaking out that Jesse wouldn’t leave me alone. I didn’t want him to worry.
“Your bouncer boyfriend can’t protect you 24/7!”
“Samir?” Elliott squeezed my knee under the picnic table. “Talk to me.”
I swallowed, then met his gaze. “I’ll be all right. I guess even with Jesse gone, my anxiety is still here.”
His forehead creased and he ran his thumb alongside my leg. “Not really surprising, is it? Being anxious becomes a habit around someone like him.”
“Yeah, it does.” Looking in his eyes, I didn’t have to struggle to come up with a smile. Being relaxed was a habit around him, and despite hating myself for needing him like that, I was admittedly grateful for him. I put my hand over his. “It’s getting better, though.”
Elliott smiled too. “Good. You deserve better.”
“Well, at the risk of sounding like a corny romantic, I think I’ve found it.”
He chuckled and leaned in for a light kiss.
We let the subject drop, but I did feel better. Still twitchy about my persistent asshole of an ex, but I managed to relax a bit. Jesse could try all he wanted—we were over, and we were staying that way.
And maybe if I played my cards right, Elliott would stick around.
Because I sure as hell wasn’t going anywhere.
Chapter 13
Elliott
Wilde’s was packed. The summer heat was stifling, so people were flocking in here for cold drinks and A/C. Every bouncer on the payroll was here, but fortunately, we were pretty bored. There’d been a brief altercation around ten after two guys had had too much to drink, but we’d defused it and poured them into a Lyft so they could take it someplace else. Ever since, things had been quiet. It was like the other bouncers had told me—tensions rose and fell. The club went through periods where we were constantly busy, and it went through periods where we were bored out of our minds. I was starting to think we were heading into a period of boredom, and I welcomed it.
We were all alert but relaxed. Casey hovered near the front door. I hung back beside the dancefloor. At around eleven thirty, Julien went on break. I chuckled as I watched Chris step away from the bar a minute later. They were probably heading up to the VIP lounge for a mid-shift quickie. I’d have done the same if Samir and I both worked here.
And I’d have some private time with Samir later tonight anyway. We’d been texting off and on all day, and even though I was working until closing, he still wanted me to come over tonight. Fine by me—no matter how tired I was, I didn’t see myself objecting to spending a night in his bed.
Some movement in the crowd caught my eye. A person jerked slightly and whirled around, the way someone moved when they’d been rudely shoved or bumped. Then another person did the same.
For fuck’s sake. Here we go.
And then I saw him.
Jesse. The son of a bitch.
He stepped out of the crowd, glaring right at me. “Hey. You.” He stabbed a finger at me. “We need to talk.”
Even over the loud music, his voice carried. Heads turned. People inched away as if they knew to give him—us—a wide berth.
Ignoring them, Jesse came closer. “Getting real tired of—”
“You need to get out of this club.” I kept my voice flat, but it was a challenge when I wanted to lay this jackass out. “Or did you forget that you’ll be arrested for trespassing?”
He snorted derisively. I didn’t hear what he said next because right then, something glinted in my peripheral vision. Something down near his hip.
Light on metal.
I didn’t have to look to confirm what it was. Instead, I lunged for him, grabbed his arm, and bent his wrist hard. His scream of pain almost muted the clatter of the knife hitting the floor. Then I twisted his arm between us. I started to herd him toward the back offices so we could handle this elsewhere, and Casey was parting the crowd for us to get through.
Jesse drove his heel into my shin. I held onto him, but his elbow came up out of nowhere and cracked against my ribs. Fucking squirmy bastard.
I dropped him, then. Flat on his face. Once I had him on the floor, I pushed my elbow against his temple and leaned on it, pinning his head. “You done?”
“Yes! I’m done!” His limbs flailed. “For fuck’s sake, I’m done!”
“You sure? Any more weapons I should know about?”
“No! No! I’m done! I’m done!” The tough-guy persona was gone, and he sounded like he was about to start sobbing. Funny how some people softened up once they lost the upper hand.
I looked up to see Casey watching me, an unspoken your call in his expression. Julien had joined him too, his bowtie undone and shirt half-unbuttoned but eyes focused and posture ready for anything. I gave them a sharp nod. Immediately they were on him too, and between us, we hauled him to his feet and led him through the crowd toward the office.
Once we reached the office, Casey wisely pried me off Jesse and dragged him inside. Liam was hot on their heels, and when the door banged shut behind them, I stayed out in the hall with Julien.
While Liam snarled something I didn’t understand at Samir’s ex, I leaned against the wall and gingerly rubbed my jaw. I wasn’t even sure when he’d hit me or with what because everything had happened so fast, but something had definitely connected. Cautiously, I tested each tooth with my tongue. Nothing twinged. Nothing moved. Good. I’d have a hell of a bruise later, and I’d probably be sore for a few days, but I wouldn’t need to make an emergency appointment with my dentist.
Julien put a hand on my shoulder. “You all right?”
“Yeah. He just clocked me. I’m good.”
“You sure?”
I nodded. “This fucker just does not take no for an answer.”
Julien cocked his head. “What do you mean?”
“That’s Samir’s ex. The one we threw out a while back for trying to fight with him.”
“Oh. Right. Him.” Julien glared at the door. “The asshole
knows we’ll call the cops on him, right?”
I chewed my lip, which sent a pang through my throbbing jaw. “I don’t know if that’s such a good idea. Not if he still has it out for Samir.”
Right then, Liam stepped out of the office, face grim. To Julien, he said, “Call the police. Tell them—”
“Liam.” I touched his arm. “Wait.”
“What? El, he brought a knife into the club and—”
“And he was coming at me because I’m seeing Samir. If he gets arrested, the first thing he’s gonna do when he gets out is go after Samir.”
Julien looked back and forth between us. “What do you want me to do?”
Liam frowned at the door dividing us from Jesse.
“I want him to go to jail too,” I whispered. “But you and I both know he won’t stay there long, and Samir’s going to be his target once he’s out.”
Closing his eyes, Liam pushed out a long breath. Then he turned to me. “What do you want me to do? I’ve already banned him from the club. If I let him walk, then—”
“I…” I rubbed the back of my neck, which was getting stiff as fuck. “I don’t know what to do. Everything I can think of ends with Jesse taking it out on Samir.”
Liam shuddered. “Yeah. I know. Fuck…”
Julien shifted beside us. “If we let him go again he’ll know there’s no consequences for trespassing.” He gestured at me. “Or for assault and battery.”
“Not like he’s ever had consequences for that part,” I grumbled.
“Julien’s right,” Liam said. “But unfortunately, so is Elliott. The times my ex beat me up the worst were always after the cops had been called, even if it wasn’t for attacking me.” He swallowed hard, like it took some real work. “I don’t want to let this slide either, but I don’t want Samir getting hurt.”